Life Is Not Fair to Sex Offenders

kidzndogznme

A closed mouth gathers no foot
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http://pressofatlanticcity.com/news/story/6535015p-6385712c.html

Found this in my local paper. Cry me a river, guys.
 
i think real sexual predators should be watched like mad dogs, have to wear ankle thingys, castrated, anything to keep them from harming another victim. however, not all of those labeled 'sex offenders' deserve a lifetime of punishment.

my cousin lonnie is labeled a 'sex offender'. about 7 years ago, when he was 20, his long time girlfriend's parents found out they were 'doing it' and went after him like a pack of wolves. she was about 6 weeks from 16.

he was charged with all kinds of heinous acts, even though the girlfriend told the law and her parents that he never 'raped' her, they had been going together for over a year, and planned to marry when she could marry without consent. she came from a fairly well off family, he was dirt poor, no way would her parents have consented. he spent 2 years in jail.

7 years later, they are married, but dont dare have children, because of this old mess. they live out here in the boonies, by choice, but if they wanted to live in town they would be tainted with this. he had a lot of trouble finding a decent job, eventually he started a small produce farm on rent-to-own land, and now they own it. she works at a nursing home. she has no contact with her family whatsoever.

yes, he was too old to be having a relationship with a 15 year old, but he didnt do her harm. now both of them live with this shadow.

it isnt just black and white.
 
I am sorry to say this but if I were that girl's parents, I would have given him the bum's rush to jail as well. 15 is way too young to be making decisions about who one wants to marry and a grown man had no business messing around with someone that young. That is why teens that young are referred to as jail bait. If one doesn't put oneself in that situation to begin with, there will be no temptation to break the law. It is nice that things are working out for them now but putting myself in the shoes of her parents, there is no way in hell I would be able to deal with that. Just MHO.
 
I have a friend who's absolutely darling daughter went off to college. Bright, ambitious and 18.

She had too much to drink one night and went behind a bush to pee. She was stopped by the police and now has to register as a sex offender.

I will agree she should not have been drinking nor should she have pee'd behind a bush, both punishable offenses. But to register as a sex offender? It does make me wonder who else is on that list.
Shame, real shame.

make no mistake i am all for punishing sex offenders, i am just not really sure who they are.
 
JBean said:
I have a friend who's absolutely darling daughter went off to college. Bright, ambitious and 18.

She had too much to drink one night and went behind a bush to pee. She was stopped by the police and now has to register as a sex offender.

I will agree she should not have been drinking nor should she have pee'd behind a bush, both punishable offenses. But to register as a sex offender? It does make me wonder who else is on that list.
Shame, real shame.

make no mistake i am all for punishing sex offenders, i am just not really sure who they are.


I sexually offended in that particular manner a number of times in my younger days.
 
tybee204 said:
I sexually offended in that particular manner a number of times in my younger days.
But in your case I bet it was "decent" exposure:angel:
 
Well just a while back Mr Tybee and I were walking from the South end of the Island back home (we live on the North end) Its about a 2 mile walk and it was really late and I had to pee, well really bad. At about the half way mark Mr Tybee had to stand watch while I indecently exposed myelf to a sand dune.
 
tybee204 said:
Well just a while back Mr Tybee and I were walking from the South end of the Island back home (we live on the North end) Its about a 2 mile walk and it was really late and I had to pee, well really bad. At about the half way mark Mr Tybee had to stand watch while I indecently exposed myelf to a sand dune.
So you can see why I get mad every time i think of this gal being labeled as as sex offender. Honestly, she is brilliant with a bright future. While I am sure this will not keep her from being successful in life, I doubt she would be able to teach or live where she wants? I don;t know.


ETA: I don't want anyone to get the idea I am sympathetic to sex offenders, beause I am not. I am annoyed with some of the procedures in place and want to make sure the people we are concerned about are people we should be concerened about.
 
The major problem with "sex offender" laws and in particular sex offender registration is that a wide variety of behavior is painted with the same brush. I am unaware of any state that has a very comprehensive apporach to this problem. It is hard to get support for a law that may treat Joseph Duncan and the young women relieving her self behind a bush the same. The ACLU loves it when we go after the later with sex registration because it gives them an appealing case to debate the wisdom of sex registry. Our bushes are in greater danger than our children. We need clear catigories of sex registration with the effects of that regristration clearly explained. Those toward the Duncan types should never ever get released from some sort of confinement period. Urinating on a bush should never have been charged as a sex offense. The lines blur a bit with cases like the 15 year old girl and the 20 year old "boy". If it were my daughter I may want to beat him so bad that she would be 25 yrs old before he was in any condition to be interested in her. However that rarely works and some individualality must be applied. If, as it may be in the noted case, the couple are destine and she becomes of age the authorities need to have some flexability. In most states there would be some relief for a case like the one mentioned but the parties never seem to know how to go about it. We need to focus our attention on the Duncan types and develope very strong and restrictive laws.
 
kidzndogznme said:
I am sorry to say this but if I were that girl's parents, I would have given him the bum's rush to jail as well. 15 is way too young to be making decisions about who one wants to marry and a grown man had no business messing around with someone that young. That is why teens that young are referred to as jail bait. If one doesn't put oneself in that situation to begin with, there will be no temptation to break the law. It is nice that things are working out for them now but putting myself in the shoes of her parents, there is no way in hell I would be able to deal with that. Just MHO.

almost 16 and 20 is not that big a gap. her parents lost their daughter forever for their nasty cruelty to someone she truly loved. they will never have grandchildren because of their own possesiveness of their daughter, and thats what it was. she suffers the punishment with him, and lives with the guilt of being the cause of it all. she testified in court that she was not a victim, she was as guilty as he was. it made no difference to the judge.

her daddy once had the gall to come to her door and knock. she took the shotgun down and opened the door, pointing it at him. he cried and carried on for a while but there was no way to heal this. she said 'cry me a river'....

for a long time they thought they might try for a baby after she went to nursing school, which she hasnt been able to yet. last year there was a case similar where the welfare took the baby away from the hospital because the daddy was a 'sex offender'. so that dream was crushed.

lonnie used bad judgement, i agree, but the punishment is too much for the 'crime'. painting all cases with the same brush is not justice.
 
Mira said:
almost 16 and 20 is not that big a gap. her parents lost their daughter forever for their nasty cruelty to someone she truly loved. they will never have grandchildren because of their own possesiveness of their daughter, and thats what it was. she suffers the punishment with him, and lives with the guilt of being the cause of it all. she testified in court that she was not a victim, she was as guilty as he was. it made no difference to the judge.

her daddy once had the gall to come to her door and knock. she took the shotgun down and opened the door, pointing it at him. he cried and carried on for a while but there was no way to heal this. she said 'cry me a river'....

for a long time they thought they might try for a baby after she went to nursing school, which she hasnt been able to yet. last year there was a case similar where the welfare took the baby away from the hospital because the daddy was a 'sex offender'. so that dream was crushed.

lonnie used bad judgement, i agree, but the punishment is too much for the 'crime'. painting all cases with the same brush is not justice.


Well she's old enough to have a baby, but not mature enough to understand how her folks feel about it. I suspect one day her child will show her just what her folks are going through and she'll have a better understanding just how they feel.
 
I didn't know that peeing behind a bush was a crime. Around here (I live by the beach) I see kids peeing behind bushes and sand dunes all the time. No potties on the beach here.



JBean said:
I have a friend who's absolutely darling daughter went off to college. Bright, ambitious and 18.

She had too much to drink one night and went behind a bush to pee. She was stopped by the police and now has to register as a sex offender.

I will agree she should not have been drinking nor should she have pee'd behind a bush, both punishable offenses. But to register as a sex offender? It does make me wonder who else is on that list.
Shame, real shame.

make no mistake i am all for punishing sex offenders, i am just not really sure who they are.
 
kidzndogznme said:
I didn't know that peeing behind a bush was a crime. Around here (I live by the beach) I see kids peeing behind bushes and sand dunes all the time. No potties on the beach here.
pulling your pants down in public=indecent exposure=sex offender.
 
Hindsite is 20/20 Mira.

I am sure that at 15 her parents were only trying to protect her.
To be bitter over it this much later seems wrong.
I don't fault her parents for it. Had it been my 15 YO daughter?? I would have had his A$$ quickly thrown in Jail as well.
 
JBean said:
I have a friend who's absolutely darling daughter went off to college. Bright, ambitious and 18.

She had too much to drink one night and went behind a bush to pee. She was stopped by the police and now has to register as a sex offender.

I will agree she should not have been drinking nor should she have pee'd behind a bush, both punishable offenses. But to register as a sex offender? It does make me wonder who else is on that list.
Shame, real shame.

make no mistake i am all for punishing sex offenders, i am just not really sure who they are.
Wow, JBean, having to register as a sex offender for peeing behind a bush is totally absurd. To think that so many of us could have been labeled as a sex offender, for very similar offenses (but didn't get caught, or arrested), is frightening. I think someone needs to take a good look at that situation. Often when kids are in relationship, some of the 18 year olds have been labeled as sex offenders also--that's definitely a miscarriiage of the law.
 
Real sex offenders, the ones who sexually attack or manipulate a child or adult. They have no rights. They are sick. Now think to yourself do you want this pervert living next to you? I dare the person to move next to me. Everyone should look up their sex offender list. Learn them. Wear they live and move.

They are trash. They do the unforgivable, ruin peoples lives, but they think they need a second chance? What about the victims? Do they get to relive their life?
So no get out of jail card here.
 
Mathew said:
The major problem with "sex offender" laws and in particular sex offender registration is that a wide variety of behavior is painted with the same brush. I am unaware of any state that has a very comprehensive apporach to this problem. It is hard to get support for a law that may treat Joseph Duncan and the young women relieving her self behind a bush the same. The ACLU loves it when we go after the later with sex registration because it gives them an appealing case to debate the wisdom of sex registry. Our bushes are in greater danger than our children. We need clear catigories of sex registration with the effects of that regristration clearly explained. Those toward the Duncan types should never ever get released from some sort of confinement period. Urinating on a bush should never have been charged as a sex offense. The lines blur a bit with cases like the 15 year old girl and the 20 year old "boy". If it were my daughter I may want to beat him so bad that she would be 25 yrs old before he was in any condition to be interested in her. However that rarely works and some individualality must be applied. If, as it may be in the noted case, the couple are destine and she becomes of age the authorities need to have some flexability. In most states there would be some relief for a case like the one mentioned but the parties never seem to know how to go about it. We need to focus our attention on the Duncan types and develope very strong and restrictive laws.
Public urination is often the excuse sex offenders give for exposing themselves in public, which explains the stringency in that department. It should actually be viewed as a violation of public health & sanitation laws.
And a half-way decent defense attorney can get the charges changed to "public nuisance" or "disorderly conduct", which will get the sex offender label expunged. Most people are not aware that public urination is viewd as a sex offense and think they simply have to pay a fine and end up badly surprised in court. I used to live in New Orleans, where it seemed people came from all over the world to piss in our streets.
 

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