Baby Dies From Crushed Head--- Why???

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kidzndogznme said:
PLEASE tell me how this can happen!!!! If the baby was buckled properly into her carseat and the mom/aunt/ANY ADULT was watching her, this never would have happened. I am so mad!!!! Imagine the pain this little girl suffered and her panic.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,243584,00.html
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This is so sad. My prayers go out to this family.

When my sons were 18-months old they could free themselves from a carseat. You do have to watch them every minute at this age, but it is also true that they can slip away in the blink of an eye.
 
My kids could not free themselves at 18 months old. We got the kind of seat that has the "head resty thing" that goes down over their head and then sits in front of their chests. They could not reach over the bar to unbuckle and they couldn't fit their hands in between the bar and their bodies either. I was so strict with my kids (still am) and buckling up that they never even tried to get out and they never pitched a fit about getting into the seat either. My sister's daughter screams and runs and acts like a brat when she has to get buckled in. But you are right. You have to watch toddlers and young kids every single second. This soooo did not have to happen.
 
Maybe this was the first time she freed herself from her seat, and the mom and aunt thought she was still buckled up.Im all for watching kids very closely but you cant sit over them 24 hours , accidents can and do happen.
I just feel so bad for her family and the sorrow they must be going thru right now.
 
For those of you that are still in the market for baby car seats..here is the latest report card. This is primarily crash purposes, but I would guess that ability to escape would be factored in?


Here is the complete list of infant seats and their rating from Consumer Reports:

Not Acceptable:

  • Evenflo Discovery
  • Eddie Bauer Comfort
Fair or Poor:

  • Chicco Keyfit
  • Peg Perego Primo Viaggio Sip
  • Compass I410
  • Evenflo Embrace
  • Britax Companion
  • Graco Safeseat
  • Safety 1st Designer
  • Combi Center
Very Good:

  • Baby Trend Flex-Loc Adjustable Back
  • Graco Snugride with EPS
 
That is so sad! I'd like to give the mom & aunt the benefit of the doubt that they thought she was strapped safely in the carseat. If you're right there vacuuming out the car, I wonder how you wouldn't see her getting out of the car. The doors must have been opened for her to slip away. I guess if I was vacuuming the front, I'd have the back doors closed w/ the window down a little ways for air circulation. This is truly a tragic accident for the mom, aunt and the poor child and mother who discovered her. I'm about 1 hr away from Blountstown and drive through it when I visit my parents down south. Now, every time I travel through there, I'll be thinking of that precious little girl and say a prayer for the family.
 
I guess I am hard-hearted because saying "Oh well, accidents happen" is just not OK with me. I can even understand saying "we can't watch them 24/7" if this was an older child. But this was a baby. It is the parent's *job* to watch them 24/7 at that young of an age. Period. Of course this is not the same as parents who outright murder their children but it is every bit as bad as the parents who leave their child unattended at the park while they run home to check on something. With a child this age, you have to anticipate their every move and never underestimate them. If this mom had been watching her child properly, this would never have happened. She should have figured out that there were cars in the area and chemicals all over, even if she didn't anticipate moving mechanical parts that could crush her child. This person ranks right up there with the parents who leave their kids in a car because they "forgot" about them or the ones who put the carseat on the roof of the car with the baby inside and drive away. It is all in the category of "They Should Have Known". IMO. :banghead:
 
kidzndogznme said:
I guess I am hard-hearted because saying "Oh well, accidents happen" is just not OK with me. I can even understand saying "we can't watch them 24/7" if this was an older child. But this was a baby. It is the parent's *job* to watch them 24/7 at that young of an age. Period. Of course this is not the same as parents who outright murder their children but it is every bit as bad as the parents who leave their child unattended at the park while they run home to check on something. With a child this age, you have to anticipate their every move and never underestimate them. If this mom had been watching her child properly, this would never have happened. She should have figured out that there were cars in the area and chemicals all over, even if she didn't anticipate moving mechanical parts that could crush her child. This person ranks right up there with the parents who leave their kids in a car because they "forgot" about them or the ones who put the carseat on the roof of the car with the baby inside and drive away. It is all in the category of "They Should Have Known". IMO. :banghead:
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Wow, there's no room for accidents or a parent making an honest mistake anymore. How do you think the mother feels? It was HER child, I doubt you feel any worse than she does. It's one thing if it's outright abuse or neglect but an honest mistake doesn't make someone a criminal deserving of such harsh, unforgivable judgement.

I'm about to have a baby, could go any day now and it scares the bejeezus out of me at how some people are so judgemental. I know I'm not perfect and if I'm tired I make mistakes or may not be thinking clearly. Maybe I should give my baby up for adoption since I or my dh might make a bad error in judgment, being as we're human beings and all and not robots.
 
I'll agree with 'hard hearted' - because you can't watch them 24/7, not even close to that. First, you need to sleep. Then, you need to once in awhile feed yourself and take care of basics of hygene, and cleaning. And since a sane parent is better than one insane, a touch of time for yourself is good.


24/7, you do need to do your best to keep them safe - while you sleep, they're in a crib, while you do other activites, you put them somewhere safe like their crib, or with someone trusted. Sounds like, if this kid did escape from a carseat, or merely escaped from the car, the parents did put her somewhere safe, not knowing she would escape this time. But kids will surprise you here and there, with no advance warning that they're about to learn to roll off the couch, jam their fingers, climb the crib, etc. That's nothing like outright neglect like leaving them at the park or some such!


I'm a new mother too Shopper, and reading here is sometimes pretty scary, the level of condemnation for the lightest human error.
 
Details said:
I'll agree with 'hard hearted' - because you can't watch them 24/7, not even close to that. First, you need to sleep. Then, you need to once in awhile feed yourself and take care of basics of hygene, and cleaning. And since a sane parent is better than one insane, a touch of time for yourself is good.


24/7, you do need to do your best to keep them safe - while you sleep, they're in a crib, while you do other activites, you put them somewhere safe like their crib, or with someone trusted. Sounds like, if this kid did escape from a carseat, or merely escaped from the car, the parents did put her somewhere safe, not knowing she would escape this time. But kids will surprise you here and there, with no advance warning that they're about to learn to roll off the couch, jam their fingers, climb the crib, etc. That's nothing like outright neglect like leaving them at the park or some such!


I'm a new mother too Shopper, and reading here is sometimes pretty scary, the level of condemnation for the lightest human error.
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Thank you Details. It's scary enough being a parent without being condemned for a tragic mistake. You're right, the child was where she was supposed to be, in her car seat. I'm sure if the mother knew she was able to get out, she would've taken the appropriate action.

How's it going with your new little one? I'm scared to death, but am excited too.
 
shopper said:
Wow, there's no room for accidents or a parent making an honest mistake anymore. How do you think the mother feels? It was HER child, I doubt you feel any worse than she does. It's one thing if it's outright abuse or neglect but an honest mistake doesn't make someone a criminal deserving of such harsh, unforgivable judgement.

I'm about to have a baby, could go any day now and it scares the bejeezus out of me at how some people are so judgemental. I know I'm not perfect and if I'm tired I make mistakes or may not be thinking clearly. Maybe I should give my baby up for adoption since I or my dh might make a bad error in judgment, being as we're human beings and all and not robots.
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Nope-don't give your baby up for adoption. You're right, parents are human beings. I'm a parent of 3 kids. Anybody who is a parent who says that they have never made a mistake in watching, raising, or supervising their child either isn't being truthful or is a saint, lol.

Parenting is a difficult job. We ALL make mistakes----unfortunately some mistakes have graver consquences than others, just like this story proves. This was a tragic, horrible mistake that likely happened because the mothers eyes were focused on something else for 30 seconds.

This is a horrible story and I'm not going to chastise the mother for what happened. It was, by all accounts, a horrible accident. Yes, it was preventable, and the mom will be living with this for the rest of her life. I don't have anger towards her---I have nothing but sympathy for her.
 
shopper said:
Wow, there's no room for accidents or a parent making an honest mistake anymore. How do you think the mother feels? It was HER child, I doubt you feel any worse than she does. It's one thing if it's outright abuse or neglect but an honest mistake doesn't make someone a criminal deserving of such harsh, unforgivable judgement.

I'm about to have a baby, could go any day now and it scares the bejeezus out of me at how some people are so judgemental. I know I'm not perfect and if I'm tired I make mistakes or may not be thinking clearly. Maybe I should give my baby up for adoption since I or my dh might make a bad error in judgment, being as we're human beings and all and not robots.
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Good post. I had one kid that never did anything dangerous and another that could have killed himself if he wasn't watched every second. It is impossile to be on guard every second of the day. Thinking a child is safely in their car seat while you vaccuum is not child neglect. This is a horrid accident.
 
I stand firmly in my opinion. I have been a parent for a long time and been in the child-rearing business for longer. Being a parent is a daunting responsibility and with the rewards of watching your child grow and flourish comes a duty to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. :hand:
 
kidzndogznme said:
I stand firmly in my opinion. I have been a parent for a long time and been in the child-rearing business for longer. Being a parent is a daunting responsibility and with the rewards of watching your child grow and flourish comes a duty to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. :hand:
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Well I can only pray that I am as perfect as you are and that I am granted a crystal ball to foresee and avoid any mistakes I make as a parent. Sarcasm aside, I hope that any mistake I ever might make, it never makes the news for the world to condemn me.
 
Sometimes I wonder how I made it to adulthood without my parents watching me 24/7 ;)
 
shopper said:
Thank you Details. It's scary enough being a parent without being condemned for a tragic mistake. You're right, the child was where she was supposed to be, in her car seat. I'm sure if the mother knew she was able to get out, she would've taken the appropriate action.

How's it going with your new little one? I'm scared to death, but am excited too.
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It's going well - she's 7 months now, we've just started her on some solids (mushed banana - only barely smells worse to me before she's eaten it than after she's eaten it (diaper!) - but then again - what do I know - I'm not a baby, and I hate bananas.), she rolls over quite well, smiles, laughs (that's quite a treat!), definitely would love to talk, working on the crawling thing. It's good. She's an easy traveller too, and a pretty easy baby.

She has surprised us a time or two with what she can and cannot do - picked a time when we put her in her carseat on top of a fairly high buffet table at my Aunt's Thanksgiving dinner to explore methods of getting out of the carseat (she wasn't buckled in). We're sitting there, she's playing, then she's starting to rock her body so she starts inching towards the bottom, and slipping out! She'd never done anything close to that before. So, she got buckled in.
 
Details said:
It's going well - she's 7 months now, we've just started her on some solids (mushed banana - only barely smells worse to me before she's eaten it than after she's eaten it (diaper!) - but then again - what do I know - I'm not a baby, and I hate bananas.), she rolls over quite well, smiles, laughs (that's quite a treat!), definitely would love to talk, working on the crawling thing. It's good. She's an easy traveller too, and a pretty easy baby.

She has surprised us a time or two with what she can and cannot do - picked a time when we put her in her carseat on top of a fairly high buffet table at my Aunt's Thanksgiving dinner to explore methods of getting out of the carseat (she wasn't buckled in). We're sitting there, she's playing, then she's starting to rock her body so she starts inching towards the bottom, and slipping out! She'd never done anything close to that before. So, she got buckled in.
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She sounds like a sweet baby! I'm glad you're having a fun time with her. I can't wait for that, right now I'm just really nervous and worried about what I don't know. I know that it will all fall into place and it won't seem scary in no time but until then :eek:
 
Shopper...it really WILL all fall into place. I had my first baby right as I turned 19. I had no experience or knowledge at all with babies. It was just me & my DH, struggling on day by day. But ya know what? Once you have the baby, so much of it just comes to you naturally, or it did me. My oldest is 16 years old now (ZOINKS) and it really DOES go by in a flash.

Don't be worried about making mistakes. That is bound to happen. I made mistakes....heck, I'm STILL making mistakes. It's human. The fact that you are cognizant of making mistakes now means alot---it's when you become too confidant in yourself or flippant in NEVER making mistakes that creates a problem. But there will be mistakes either way....you just learn from them, just like in any other aspects of life.

You'll be a great mom---don't fret. :blowkiss: As long as you know that you love your baby & will do whatever it takes to nourish, love and protect her (or him) then that is all that matters. There will ALWAYS be people who will critique and criticize, but it's YOUR opinion and ideals that matter in the life of your child.

I look at my oldest, now almost an adult, and through the mistakes that I know I have made, when I look at him I see a confident, smart, loving, compassionate, non-judgemental, patient, kind, empathetic able young man who has grown up in home filled with love and encouragement---and he has thrived because of it. THAT is what matters. Honestly, if we didn't make the mistakes along the way, I don't know that he would be the fantastic guy he is today.
 
shopper said:
She sounds like a sweet baby! I'm glad you're having a fun time with her. I can't wait for that, right now I'm just really nervous and worried about what I don't know. I know that it will all fall into place and it won't seem scary in no time but until then :eek:
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Hey, I know just what you mean - I was never a baby person, so I didn't know any of this stuff. But you go one step at a time, and baby gives you her own feedback as well. Just remember - telling parents what they should do, guilting parents and scaring them are big business, not to mention easy pickings for any industry that wants to make some money, ratings, or just feel powerful. So pick and choose your advice carefully, and watch out for hype and scare tactics. Some of what you will be told will be exactly right (like that breastfeeding is a huge, huge positive for your baby), and other bits will be wrong, or wrong for you.
 
Shopper,

You'll be a great mom. As other posters have said, it really does fall into place. I believe that the vast majority of parents realize it is impossible to keep kids completely safe 100% of the time. We all do our very best and leave the rest to a power greater than ourselves.

When I find myself feeling hyper-critical of other parents when tragedies befall their children, it is usually because I am scared. I want to convince myself that such horrible things could never happen to my children because I am somehow different (more vigilant, more cautious, etc..) than other parents. Of course, this isn't true - it is just a false defense I sometimes use to make myself feel safer in the face of the unthinkable.

Ironically, I am actually a better parent when I don't give in to such delusional thinking, but I still find it tempting to go there!

My comments in this regard aren't directed at this particular case. I don't feel like there is enough information to pass judgment on this mother - my heart aches for her. I'm just talking about the broader issue of blaming parents for every terrible thing that happens to their children - which I see happening on this board and in other places.
 
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