.S. District Judge Vanessa Gilmore is having a heavy, heavy time these days, with the tedious procedural sparring of the Enron broadband suit and the looming death penalty case against a heartless human smuggler.
So she might be forgiven for laughingly telling attorneys, "I want this one!" when pretrial discussions began on a patent-infringement case involving…tongue vibrators. (We assume Gilmore was referring to the case and not the product.)

Her courtroom will see a titanic battle this fall to determine just who owns the patent for designing a small vibrator that attaches to the tongue, presumably to facilitate the kind of activities that might still get you arrested in certain Southern states.

It's The Tiggler vs. Tongue Joy, and passions are high. So high, in fact, that the cops were called out after two of the attorneys scuffled during a March 26 deposition in San Francisco. (Since the depo took place at the infamous building where eight law firm employees were massacred in 1993, SFPD answered the 911 call with an army of officers. Two attorneys were cited for misdemeanor battery.)