Should Parenting Require a License?

Should Parenting Require a License?
By Lisa Belkin

(Really not a funny subject but the last sentence...LOL)

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/

I think before we trust another human being to raise another, that will be a member of society wer have to look at a lot of factors.

What if the parents at this time cannot afford the "luxury" of a child, but when they can, it would be too late to have a child.

Do we limit the number of children a person can have.

Do we have psychological tests, drug tests.

Do we give them courses, help them financially, pay for college.

Just because a person has a drivers license and has passed a test, that mean tht the person will not drink and drive in the future, speed, drive carelessly.

No, just like if you "license" a parent, it cannot ensure that the parent will be a good parent or continue to be a good parent.

With the situation with Foster Homes and DCS, it is not like more children need to go into care in a system that is broken.

I have meet good parents and parents that I would not trust to walk a dog, but the "bad" parents don't see themselves that way, they see that they raise their child as they want, good or bad.

Had to smile at that last sentence myself, Capoly. The whole thing is, I've always thought that a good lot of it is instinct. When I first saw (even before I SAW) each of my children, I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and protection for them. And when you care that much for someone, you just naturally do what is right towards them. Somehow, it is like this instinct is being bred out of humanity and I don't understand why. I know a certain amount of even animals (cats and dogs, for instance) will refuse to care for their litter. It seems like so many people are now like that. But what would CAUSE it? That's what I just don't get. And most of us even feel goodwill towards children that aren't even ours; I feel sick inside when I hear of a little one being abused. What is causing all these people to go so against nature?

Sheromom said:

Had to smile at that last sentence myself, Capoly. The whole thing is, I've always thought that a good lot of it is instinct. When I first saw (even before I SAW) each of my children, I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and protection for them. And when you care that much for someone, you just naturally do what is right towards them. Somehow, it is like this instinct is being bred out of humanity and I don't understand why. I know a certain amount of even animals (cats and dogs, for instance) will refuse to care for their litter. It seems like so many people are now like that. But what would CAUSE it? That's what I just don't get. And most of us even feel goodwill towards children that aren't even ours; I feel sick inside when I hear of a little one being abused. What is causing all these people to go so against nature?

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I do not understand it myself, I see alot of me me me when it comes to bad parents. I have always kept on eye out on children if it looked as if they might hurt themselves (out in public), my boys think I am a worry wart about them.

I know we have rights and all that but I really feel for those who cannot take care of themselves and have bad parents.

Like in all jobs, you get out what you put into it. Parenting is a job, a job that takes a lot of different skills. Even if you raise your child to the best of your ability, love, understanding, comfort, support, they still may wonder from a path that you would like them to take.

I find that a lot of parents just don't want to take on the "extra" job of being a parent, even though they have kids. It is easier for them, for their life, for their lifestyle.

They can and may very well be selfish. Plus they always think they are right, can do not wrong and their kids are a "reflection" of themselves.

Parents do not participate in raising and teaching children because of whatever reason they have that suits themselves, what ever is easier.

Like a six year old who plays a video game with a M rating, obviously a parent will attempt to shield your child from violence in a video game, but if you are the type of parents, who does not even care about ratings, like violent video games, plays these games with your 6 year old child, then the kids takes the car to school, it is the parent who should be held responsible. But some parents will blame every one else and then say: Well, he is a boy. Boys need the violence, they need to know how the real world words and those idiots that rate the game M, what do they know.

You see these people "think" they are smart, which is half the problem. I think an intelligence test along with a license would be required.

Like if little Sarah spills milk on the floor do you a)say, don't worry little 3 year old Sarah, accidents happen, no harm done. b)smack her across the face because she did this on purpose to tick you off so you have to show her who is boss, that might is right and she will regret the day she ever spilled anything on the floor again. or c)banish her to her room for two days without food and water to show her you are again the boss of her and she better be afraid.

I think after answering an test like this, the parents who choose b and c, would go into intensive "parent" training" in a camp/jail like setting to ensure that they have and know the correct way to punish a child. Now those parents of course would need supervision for life, just in case they resort to unacceptable methods.

Too many children die because of the neglect and stupidity of the parents.

I think most parents who are no good at parenting know that they are no good at it. They know right from wrong and just don't care. If they did care it is not that hard to track down resources to help you become a better parent. Distributing a test with the above multiple choices is...imo, ineffective. Everyone KNOWS you aren't supposed to beat a child or withold food. Crappy parents could also pass a test with questions like those-recieve their license to breed-and then still be crappy parents.
However, I do feel that parents who have a history of child abuse or neglet should NOT be allowed to have more children. If they screw up once, sterilization should be mandatory. Maybe they could be educated and then treat the children they do have like a loving parent, but that should be the most they are allowed to do.

I think there should be mandatory classes for people before they become parents! If they choose not to take the course before having the kid then the kid is taken away until the course is completed! no second chances!
Just think how many children that may possibly save from neglect and or murder.
I also think any parent who has a history of neglect and abuse needs to have mandatory sterilization as well! theres just too many unwanted neglected starving kids in this world! something needs to be done

MissieMt said:

I think most parents who are no good at parenting know that they are no good at it. They know right from wrong and just don't care. If they did care it is not that hard to track down resources to help you become a better parent. Distributing a test with the above multiple choices is...imo, ineffective. Everyone KNOWS you aren't supposed to beat a child or withold food. Crappy parents could also pass a test with questions like those-recieve their license to breed-and then still be crappy parents.
However, I do feel that parents who have a history of child abuse or neglet should NOT be allowed to have more children. If they screw up once, sterilization should be mandatory. Maybe they could be educated and then treat the children they do have like a loving parent, but that should be the most they are allowed to do.

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I agree. The problem is things have changed. The way my parents raised me, punished me would now be considered abuse to some. A whole generation raised their kids this way and they turned out ok. The experts start talking, now everyone is afraid to punish their children, to tell their children that they are wrong and this new generation isn't turning out so great. Now we need a license to parent? I for one do not want the Government in any more parts of my life. Not because I wouldn't pass but because they would set the standards for their way of thinking. What they thought was right. I have my own standard of what I think is right or wrong. I helped a friend study for her nursing exam so she could get her license. I learned that stuff. I could have taken that test and passed but it wouldn't have made me a nurse. I wouldn't have been able to do anything. But I knew all the right answers to the questions. A piece of paper isn't going to make someone a better parent anymore than it is going to help someone be a better human being.