TX - Boy, 9, Commits Suicide at School

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/boy,-9,-commits-suicide-at-school

Wondering if this was as a result of being bullied, or what.

I wonder if this was not another case of a child playing that "game" where they make themselves pass out... What do they call it??? I think here (in TN) they call it "Space Monkey".

This happened in the Colony, not too far from me. No, this poor kid was bullied and depressed. I hate, hate, hate bullying. I dont understand why people dont teach their kids respect. It's just so sad.

I've been dealing with my son's being bullied by many different children over the past 2 years. I've been involved with so many meetings and conferences at the school(s) that I have not been able to work. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the problem wasn't addressed because no one had the time or the means to address it.

This has to stop. It has become a national crisis.

burbqueen said:

This happened in the Colony, not too far from me. No, this poor kid was bullied and depressed. I hate, hate, hate bullying. I dont understand why people dont teach their kids respect. It's just so sad.

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I am so glad my kid is in a private school that REALLY has a zero tolerance policy on bullying. Not only that...but they actually spend the time teaching children how to get along with each other, EVEN IF they don't particularly care for another child. There is no name calling or teasing of any kind. There are no clicks. The school is small so the children in his first grade class will be your same classmates all the way through till the eighth grade.

If my child was ever the target of relentless bullying, there is no way I could, in good conscious, send him off to school.

This is heartbreaking. I can't understand why a child would do such a thing.... Like Linda, my son is in the same situation. Very small private school, no clicks, zero tolerance for bullying or teasing and the kids he is in class with now, will be in the same class through 8th grade.

My prayers to this boys family and friends. What a tragic loss.

Bullying is the surest way to get your bunnies into really hot water here in our town, Ashland, OR. It is taken VERY seriously. Our schools use the curriculum developed by the Southern Poverty Law Center/Teaching Tolerance.

Bullying needs to be shown for what it is--an insidious form of abuse.



And Jenni--The "game" you referred to is "The Choking Game". Here's a really good resource on that scary issue. If your school hasn't seen this, send it to the principal immediately. Typically, education sheets are sent home to parents and kids are taught the dangers at school:

http://www.stop-the-choking-game.com/en/home.html

"It’s not a game at all—just an act of suffocating on purpose.

Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate.

When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time."

Have any more details been released about this case? I'll try to find some more news.

A lot of people have no idea that very young children can attempt and are often successful at suicide. Far more community education is needed about this "secret" danger.

We had one son attempt to hang himself at age 9 due to severe and sudden onset depression. Bipolar then followed at age 28. Another son attempted somewhere between 12-20 times (that we know of and which required hospitalization) due to a painful and chronic illness and starting at the age of 6 (before he came to us at age 7). He was in and out of the state hospital for suicidal behavior throughout his entire childhood and adolescence. I'm proud to say that he's a vibrant, although still chronically ill adult. And we've had multiple attempts by preteens following our rape trial along with severe PTSD. We also experienced two attempts by high achieving teen daughters (following three other suicides in their school--always a factor) by taking excessive amounts of Tylenol. One ended up in the ICU and as an inpatient in a "behavioral unit" for two weeks while the other did well with therapy. Both of those girls have gone on to be fabulous adults with no depression whatsoever. Our last suicide attempts were two years ago by an adult son grieving the death of his baby daughter shortly after her birth. The grief triggered bipolar at that time also. Two weeks later, another young adult son attempted suicide by cutting due to seeing his rapist (and horrible flashbacks) at the Post Conviction Relief Trial.

Suicide is a lot like a Pandora's box. Once it's tried in a family, it often is repeated. In fact, each attempt, affects future attempts exponentially. You can't stuff it back in the box!! Until I just typed this out, I really hadn't thought of how many horrific close calls we've had. It's emotionally exhausting for parents to always be vigilant but absolutely essential.

Parents need to know about his very real danger. Know the red flags and act on them immediately!! There are very few second chances. A good resource:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/suicide/a/808_suicide_prv.htm

"Even for preteens, children aged 9 to 12 years old, suicide is a leading cause of death."

Did anybody else notice that this sad thread is followed by the one concerning the 10 and 11 year old boys who tortured and sexually humiliated younger and same aged children (scroll down a few threads)?

Not a coincidence, I'm afraid.

Yes, I did notice and I did read about it.

Interesting that some of the children at the school said that Montana had been caught with a knife and that he had been bullied at the around the same time, a few days prior to him hanging himself. (IMO, he took the knife with him to protect himself from the bully/bullies?)The family friend in the video is heard here saying nothing was happening in his life but regular boy stuff...
(Just what was happening in this boy's life???)
Here's the follow-up news video:
http://www.the33tv.com/news/kdaf-the-colony-fourth-grader-suicide-story,0,5243382.story

In my personal experience, kids started bullying my son starting in 5th grade and transitioning into a middle school, more kids and instances of it. That coincides with Montana's grade level.

burbqueen said:

This happened in the Colony, not too far from me. No, this poor kid was bullied and depressed. I hate, hate, hate bullying. I dont understand why people dont teach their kids respect. It's just so sad.

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JMO, but I think that bullies raise bullies.

concentric said:

I've been dealing with my son's being bullied by many different children over the past 2 years. I've been involved with so many meetings and conferences at the school(s) that I have not been able to work. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the problem wasn't addressed because no one had the time or the means to address it.

This has to stop. It has become a national crisis.

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I'm sorry your son is dealing with this and I'm glad you are available for him and help with the situation.

I agree, it has to stop and I think it's become a national crisis too. Children shouldn't be 'pushed to the point of suicide'- it's just not right and it's even harder to take when the ages of these 'victims of suicide' are so young. Nine years old is just a baby, IMO.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant with our first child and this sort of thing terrifies me...

When we found out that we were going to have a baby, we bought a piece of land outside of a small town where my parents live. It has a real "Mayberry" kind of feel to it and I have always known the area to be fairly safe (I mean, as safe as any area ever really can be.) Our house will be done in the next month, or so, and we will be moving...

I just don't have any idea how to keep our little one safe, and this makes me insane.

We have even been talking about homeschooling because of things like this...

But, eventually they will have to venture out, on their own, and I don't want to have raised a super-sheltered child that is terrified of his/her own shadow.

I will tell you this, though; if our child were being bullied SOMETHING would be done about it. If it meant that I had to sit at that school all day, every single day, so be it. I HATE when people just brush off this kind of behavior as "kids just being kids."

I wonder how many parents know that they're children are being bullied? I know I never told my mother that I was bullied right on up until my senior year. In elementary school it was hair pulling, name calling. All because I was shy and introverted. It stopped once I returned to school after having leukemia. Then I was shunned (which was preferable). Then it started again in high school.

I don't know what causes kids to bully. Yes, their parents could be bullies also, but sometimes I think it's that they're unhappy in their own lives. Things are going on at home that they have no control over. What better way to get rid of some of that anger at being helpless than to pick on someone else that you think won't fight back.

I just think there are too many adults out there that think it's just a right of passage, and don't realize just how hard it is for the child that's being bullied.

I wonder why we NEVER hear a parent say "my kid IS a bully, and I need help with controlling their behavior and/or teaching him/her how to be less agressive toward other children"??? I can honestly say that my kids aren't bullies.... because they don't even exist, yet. Just tossing this out there, though. What DO you do when another parent accuses your child of bullying? Do you get defensive and deny that your child has done anything? Do you put your kid in counseling or work with him/her at home to straighten them out and let them know that it is not o.k. to bully??

IMO, the bullies have been bullied within their family, and/or, see/hear their siblings/parents, etc. bullying (that includes being racist) toward other people. In my son's case, the bullying perpetrated against him has also consisted of racial slurs/remarks.

DogMom2JoeAndWillie said:

I wonder why we NEVER hear a parent say "my kid IS a bully, and I need help with controlling their behavior and/or teaching him/her how to be less agressive toward other children"??? I can honestly say that my kids aren't bullies.... because they don't even exist, yet. Just tossing this out there, though. What DO you do when another parent accuses your child of bullying? Do you get defensive and deny that your child has done anything? Do you put your kid in counseling or work with him/her at home to straighten them out and let them know that it is not o.k. to bully??

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Well, I may get blasted for this...but here goes...

If, as a parent, you teach your child to be kind to others, and teach them that it's not ok to hurt someone's feelings on purpose or push, or shove, then you're not going to raise a bully -- unless your child is a sociopath, and you'd probably have some inkling that something wasn't right with them. If you were the kind of parent who took the time to teach them how to be kind to others, then you'd be the kind of parent to take them to see a professional to be evaluated if they needed it. Having said that, if you are the type of parent who feels that fighting between children is ok -- they're kids, they'll work it out between themselves (I'm not talking about arguing over whose turn it is to play the Wii -- I'm talking physcial agression/violence); or that your child "needs to learn how to fight to be a man, or, in the case of a girl, so that they don't get "stepped on" by others, then you're the type of parent who is not going to be able to recognize that their behavior might be out of hand, not normal, etc. because, to you, that type of behavior (physical agression/violence) is not going to seem abnormal to you.
(When I say "you" in these examples, I'm using the word "you" in a general sense, not speaking directly to DogMom).

In a nutshell, you're not going to see parents who say, "my child is a bully, what do I do?", except, perhaps, on Dr. Phil, because if they're proactive, they're already taking care of it...and if they're bullies themselves (see my earlier post), they won't see a problem.

Only my opinion, of course. I raised a 21 year old son that I taught to be kind and always consider how his actions might affect others, and I'm doing the same thing with his sisters.

Linda7NJ said:

I am so glad my kid is in a private school that REALLY has a zero tolerance policy on bullying. Not only that...but they actually spend the time teaching children how to get along with each other, EVEN IF they don't particularly care for another child. There is no name calling or teasing of any kind. There are no clicks. The school is small so the children in his first grade class will be your same classmates all the way through till the eighth grade.

If my child was ever the target of relentless bullying, there is no way I could, in good conscious, send him off to school.

Click to expand...

that is so funny because between the private and the public school that my son attended, bullying was much worse at the private school. they were clicked into the haves and have nots, the sports kids and fat kids, the nerds and non-nerds just like at any public school. and boy they were mean...and the parents were the same dang way it seemed. so much of it was about what family had what and who could buy the most at the silent auctions translated into who had pull at the school. it's so odd how people have such different experiences.