NV NV - Steven Koecher, 30, Henderson, 13 Dec 2009 - #22

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Blunomore said:
Even on the discussion page you mention, there is a family member "monitoring" it and if you say the wrong thing (in their opinions), the admin comes down on you.
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Please remember that the Steven Koecher Facebook page was begun for the family to FIND Steven.
The point of the page was to tell people to CALL THEIR LOCAL POLICE if they have information.
There was a long page of READ THIS FIRST information that answered every question that came up.
People wanting to speculate on the case were always directed to Websleuths.
Please have respect for a family in pain.
--
The person with the tough job on HUFSK
 
Hard to believe it's been 5 years and then some.

I said it early on. He went to that development to meet a man and start his new life without the judgmentalism that comes from the Mormon culture. The boyfriend, who I long ago dubbed Big Daddy Warbucks (BDW) told him to park in the cul de sac, walk over a block or two and then hopped in his car and drove off.

I can only hope he's happy now living with BDW.

Imagine, people who set up pages looking for help turn around and censor anything that does not fit the Mormon ideal. No wonder he left.
 
webrocket said:
Hard to believe it's been 5 years and then some.

I said it early on. He went to that development to meet a man and start his new life without the judgmentalism that comes from the Mormon culture. The boyfriend, who I long ago dubbed Big Daddy Warbucks (BDW) told him to park in the cul de sac, walk over a block or two and then hopped in his car and drove off.

I can only hope he's happy now living with BDW.

Imagine, people who set up pages looking for help turn around and censor anything that does not fit the Mormon ideal. No wonder he left.
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That is what I thought. Hopefully, he is living his life and not dead. I was raised a Mormon so I know what the "Mormon ideal" is. No gay folk allowed.
 
webrocket said:
Hard to believe it's been 5 years and then some.

I said it early on. He went to that development to meet a man and start his new life without the judgmentalism that comes from the Mormon culture. The boyfriend, who I long ago dubbed Big Daddy Warbucks (BDW) told him to park in the cul de sac, walk over a block or two and then hopped in his car and drove off.

I can only hope he's happy now living with BDW.

Imagine, people who set up pages looking for help turn around and censor anything that does not fit the Mormon ideal. No wonder he left.
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Unfortunately, this is very offensive to me as an active LDS member. I have a neighbor who is an active gay "Mormon". Yes, it is hard in many families to "come out". However, for you to say "No wonder he left." is extremely offensive to me.

There is NO evidence that he was gay. There is NO evidence of this so-called theory. There is NOTHING on his cell phone to indicate that he left to be with some stranger to live out a gay life-style. Sorry, but I could not sit by with this comment and allow my religion to be so criticized especially when there is no evidence to indicate this situation.
 
Long time lurker here...

I was reading over some of the old threads last night, and something still does not sit right with me with regards to the church president friend (GW) who was also in Vegas at the time of SK's disappearance. The phone call situation does not make sense to me for a couple of reasons:

- He reportedly calls SK to ask him to take his place at a meeting. SK says he would if necessary, but then GW says "nevermind, I'm already on my way." Oddly enough, they are both in LV for reasons that aren't clear and they don't discuss with each other.

- Later on, SK receives another call from someone attending the meeting asking him if he could stand in for GW, who was supposed to have been on the road earlier. This is where I get tripped up, and start to wonder if GW is even being truthful about what he and SK discussed on the phone. It doesn't make sense to me that GW would be on the road with plenty of time to make the meeting, yet SK still receives a second call from someone at the meeting this time asking if he can stand in for GW. The second call to SK from the person at the meeting makes it seem like GW was either a no-show, or that he perhaps called to say he'd be late but did not mention talking to SK earlier. I find this odd, because it sounds like there were only a few people who were qualified to stand in for GW at the meeting, so mentioning that he had already talked to SK and that he was was busy in Vegas seems like it would have been a no-brainer. I would be inclined to believe that GW would have called the meeting if he couldn't make it since he says he made an effort to call SK to ask him to stand in for him, so if he did call, then why wouldn't he mention that SK was already busy? If he didn't call and just didn't show, why would he do that and where was he that whole time?

I'm not sure if this angle has been completely ruled out yet, but something about this friend seems suspicious to me. The content of the conversation he had with SK has no way to be proven, and it doesn't seem to make sense considering the other communication SK had with church members that day. Sorry if I've missed something and this whole angle has been debunked, but the other calls SK received regarding the meeting do not make sense to me if I take GW's word for what he and SK supposedly discussed that day.
 
I know lots of Mormons. Homosexuality is not enthusiastically embraced, but I don't know any who would isolate or reject a family member who came out as homosexual.
I don't live in Utah, though. It is my understanding that many LDS members who live in Utah are more conservative and it would probably be more difficult to announce you're gay there. But still...I don't think we can ever really know about Stephen's specific situation. I mean, regardless of where his family lived or what religion they practiced, would they have shunned him because of his sexual preference?
So, for me, Stephen's sexuality is probably not related to his going missing. Unless new evidence is presented.
 
chickenfriedcow said:
Long time lurker here...

I was reading over some of the old threads last night, and something still does not sit right with me with regards to the church president friend (GW) who was also in Vegas at the time of SK's disappearance. The phone call situation does not make sense to me for a couple of reasons:

- He reportedly calls SK to ask him to take his place at a meeting. SK says he would if necessary, but then GW says "nevermind, I'm already on my way." Oddly enough, they are both in LV for reasons that aren't clear and they don't discuss with each other.

- Later on, SK receives another call from someone attending the meeting asking him if he could stand in for GW, who was supposed to have been on the road earlier. This is where I get tripped up, and start to wonder if GW is even being truthful about what he and SK discussed on the phone. It doesn't make sense to me that GW would be on the road with plenty of time to make the meeting, yet SK still receives a second call from someone at the meeting this time asking if he can stand in for GW. The second call to SK from the person at the meeting makes it seem like GW was either a no-show, or that he perhaps called to say he'd be late but did not mention talking to SK earlier. I find this odd, because it sounds like there were only a few people who were qualified to stand in for GW at the meeting, so mentioning that he had already talked to SK and that he was was busy in Vegas seems like it would have been a no-brainer. I would be inclined to believe that GW would have called the meeting if he couldn't make it since he says he made an effort to call SK to ask him to stand in for him, so if he did call, then why wouldn't he mention that SK was already busy? If he didn't call and just didn't show, why would he do that and where was he that whole time?

I'm not sure if this angle has been completely ruled out yet, but something about this friend seems suspicious to me. The content of the conversation he had with SK has no way to be proven, and it doesn't seem to make sense considering the other communication SK had with church members that day. Sorry if I've missed something and this whole angle has been debunked, but the other calls SK received regarding the meeting do not make sense to me if I take GW's word for what he and SK supposedly discussed that day.
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Could not agree more with you. If I remember correctly the call length was so short too that I can't imagine much was talked other than maybe "on my way" or some other short message that would not include a conversation about the two in Vegas (what a surprise etc.) Let's face it.. the last person to contact the missing person should be looked at closely.
 
Sutton said:
I know lots of Mormons. Homosexuality is not enthusiastically embraced, but I don't know any who would isolate or reject a family member who came out as homosexual.
I don't live in Utah, though. It is my understanding that many LDS members who live in Utah are more conservative and it would probably be more difficult to announce you're gay there. But still...I don't think we can ever really know about Stephen's specific situation. I mean, regardless of where his family lived or what religion they practiced, would they have shunned him because of his sexual preference?
So, for me, Stephen's sexuality is probably not related to his going missing. Unless new evidence is presented.
Click to expand...
I am absolutely not speculating that this is the case here, I just wanted to share my personal experience that my Mormon sister absolutely and unequivocally isolated and rejected our gay brother. It does happen. Does it mean all Mormons do it? No. Just like all Catholics don't avoid meat on Fridays during Lent. JMO.
 
chickenfriedcow said:
Long time lurker here...

I was reading over some of the old threads last night, and something still does not sit right with me with regards to the church president friend (GW) who was also in Vegas at the time of SK's disappearance. The phone call situation does not make sense to me for a couple of reasons:

- He reportedly calls SK to ask him to take his place at a meeting. SK says he would if necessary, but then GW says "nevermind, I'm already on my way." Oddly enough, they are both in LV for reasons that aren't clear and they don't discuss with each other.

- Later on, SK receives another call from someone attending the meeting asking him if he could stand in for GW, who was supposed to have been on the road earlier. This is where I get tripped up, and start to wonder if GW is even being truthful about what he and SK discussed on the phone. It doesn't make sense to me that GW would be on the road with plenty of time to make the meeting, yet SK still receives a second call from someone at the meeting this time asking if he can stand in for GW. The second call to SK from the person at the meeting makes it seem like GW was either a no-show, or that he perhaps called to say he'd be late but did not mention talking to SK earlier. I find this odd, because it sounds like there were only a few people who were qualified to stand in for GW at the meeting, so mentioning that he had already talked to SK and that he was was busy in Vegas seems like it would have been a no-brainer. I would be inclined to believe that GW would have called the meeting if he couldn't make it since he says he made an effort to call SK to ask him to stand in for him, so if he did call, then why wouldn't he mention that SK was already busy? If he didn't call and just didn't show, why would he do that and where was he that whole time?

I'm not sure if this angle has been completely ruled out yet, but something about this friend seems suspicious to me. The content of the conversation he had with SK has no way to be proven, and it doesn't seem to make sense considering the other communication SK had with church members that day. Sorry if I've missed something and this whole angle has been debunked, but the other calls SK received regarding the meeting do not make sense to me if I take GW's word for what he and SK supposedly discussed that day.
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:welcome6: Welcome chickenfriedcow! Love your user name!
 
cocomod said:
Pure speculation mainly because of his religion.
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Huh? Many folks here have posited the theory that he might be gay, and I don't see any quotes to support your thesis that these are all "because of his religion". Can you supply them please?

My own thoughts regarding it are that in looking at this objectively, the possibility is certainly something that has to be considered, whether or not it might be painful for the family of SK, if we're really interested in figuring out what happened to him. Seriously lacking much helpful information in the case, one goes through ALL of the information we know about SK, and some of those things are: He's an "outlier" for his "peer group" -unmarried for several years after completing a mission; some odd movements -why does a guy who complains of not having time for friends/family because of having to work odd hours, move away from friends and family. Without a job. To a smaller job market. There may be some other things that could be considered in this area, but I can't remember, right now, all of them. (And please don't anyone say that I'm asserting that these things establish SK as being gay as fact -that's just silly.)

Although WR is pretty confident that he left voluntarily and is still voluntarily "missing" because of it, the more time goes on the more I see this as less likely. I'm in no way an expert in missing persons, but the reading I've done seems to suggest that really being off the radar, entirely, for this long, isn't very likely. The fact that he's still listed as missing, indicates to me that he hasn't been located, and makes the concept of foul play for probably, IMO. Whatever his religion.
 
Sutton said:
Why is it believed Stephen was/is gay?
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For me it's as simple as doing the math. Straight Mormons get married at a young age and start families. You are hard pressed to find any straight Mormons who are still single at age 30.

Here Steven couldn't find the right girl. Meanwhile all his peers got married and well, started families. And he still couldn't find the right girl.

Then he vanishes and everyone closes rank and says it must be anything BUT the obvious.
 
webrocket said:
For me it's as simple as doing the math. Straight Mormons get married at a young age and start families. You are hard pressed to find any straight Mormons who are still single at age 30.

Here Steven couldn't find the right girl. Meanwhile all his peers got married and well, started families. And he still couldn't find the right girl.

Then he vanishes and everyone closes rank and says it must be anything BUT the obvious.
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WR, I think your point is very well made. However, I'd like to know how many people, in this day and age, can literally drop off the radar for so many years. (If he has been located but doesn't "want to be found", I wouldn't think he'd still be listed as missing.) Is "gay" but also "foul play" a possibility here?
(Sorry if this didn't turn out right -I tried to italicize a couple of things and I'm not sure where I went wrong.)
 
I think this was a combination of SK trying to hide what his plans were and his family not disclosing or worse yet perhaps deleted what was on his hard drive before someone else took a look at it.

Yes it's possible that he was both gay and the victim of foul play but I don't think he met any harm in that development. I think he and Big Daddy Warbucks drove off into the sunset, had dinner and stayed at a hotel or motel before driving out of town the next morning. I think that would be consistent with the phone pings.
 
webrocket said:
For me it's as simple as doing the math. Straight Mormons get married at a young age and start families. You are hard pressed to find any straight Mormons who are still single at age 30.

Here Steven couldn't find the right girl. Meanwhile all his peers got married and well, started families. And he still couldn't find the right girl.

Then he vanishes and everyone closes rank and says it must be anything BUT the obvious.
Click to expand...

I can appreciate this theory and this line. I will share my experience with my dear brother. He went on his mission (just like Steven), he went to one college and then moved to another college, then he started his career. Nowhere along the way did he get serious with a girl. Honestly, he was a bit of a nerd, a bit depressed, and he flat out was an introvert. One day, he met the right "girl". She chased him! She called him! And... At the ripe old age of 35 he got married. It is unusual for the LDS culture, but not unheard of. If my brother had not met his wife, I doubt he would have ever gotten married. But, he had 0 (zero) gay feelings in his makeup. Maybe the people that knew him best knows him best.

The reason I said that religion may be pushing the gay matter is because every post I see that indicate this possibility say that he would need to hide this because of his religion. It is something that is difficult in our religion. It is a changing atmosphere now as in most Christian religions. I should have put in my post that it is IMHO that this theory is mainly discussed as a reason to disappear.

Steven's case is very near and will always be dear to my heart.
 
webrocket said:
i think this was a combination of sk trying to hide what his plans were and his family not disclosing or worse yet perhaps deleted what was on his hard drive before someone else took a look at it.

Yes it's possible that he was both gay and the victim of foul play but i don't think he met any harm in that development. I think he and big daddy warbucks drove off into the sunset, had dinner and stayed at a hotel or motel before driving out of town the next morning. I think that would be consistent with the phone pings.
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"bdw" - :)
 
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