Am I the only one that thinks the 'boys' lied and they just made up the sex abuse story to save their behinds? I remember watching this trial and always though they they killed their parents for the money. I do believe the father was a monster and the mother was very weak, but I don't believe the father sexually abused them. The father had several mistresses, which makes me believe he would have no interest in raping his sons.
As
flourish stated, incest aggressors (and sexual predators in general) do not commit sexual assaults because of sexual needs or sexual deprivation. That is a myth. In reality, most incest aggressors have no problem getting sex, within marriage, outside of marriage or both. While they undoubtedly get sexual gratification out of the vicitmization, that is not their main motivation. They are usually in pursuit of power, domination or for the unconditional, non-threatening love in which only children can provide. Incestuous fathers are often physically and verbally abusive as well and this is a pattern as to how the family interacts with each other. Wives are not viewed as equal partners and are pushed into a secondary role; this upsets the balance of respect and the children are often considered property rather than human beings. In families where incest and other types of abuse occur, there is always some sort of breakdown - a lack of communication, stifling of emotions, isolation, lack of respect, secrecy, etc. This is how the abuser retains his power over the household; he is the dominant force who can bend his family to his will. On the outside, these families can seem normal, happy, "they have it all" kind of thing. But the reality behind closed doors is a harsh contrast to what the outside world sees. Facade and illusion is vitally important to the incestuous father.
The Menendez family fits this described dynamic extremely well. Jose was the demanding patriarch who, as I stated in an earlier post, ruled this family with an iron fist. Everything was about him, what he wanted, etc. Emotion was something that was covered up, or hidden. Kitty adored her husband to the point of possessiveness, but he continually disregarded her feelings and didn't treat her as someone he loved and needed as a wife but rather someone to take care of the boys and the house. Kitty's emotional and financial dependence on Jose and her use of pills and alcohol to numb her pain is again, highly symbolic. Jose abused her as well, but when it came right down to it, she could not bring herself to leave, even as her sons were being mistreated. Brian Alan Andersen, Kitty's nephew, stated that when Jose was beating his sons with a belt, that Kitty would turn up the television. It was a typical "see no evil, hear no evil" kind of reaction.
Jose dominated his sons, monitored them very closely, and kept them socially isolated when they were young, discouraging them from forming friendships and ordering them to keep their emotions in check, even around relatives. What reason would a parent have for doing that, unless he wanted his secrets to remain intact?
And as I also stated, the symptoms of sexual abuse were evident as the brothers were in childhood and as they moved into adulthood. Lyle's bed-wetting, which went on until he was a teenager; his need to have his stuffed animals even after he was too old to play with them; Erik's persistent fear of the dark, that "monsters" would come to get him; both of them stuttered (Erik's was so severe he went to a speech pathologist); the brothers suffered from psychosomatic headaches and stomach pains, were taught to suppress their emotions, etc. Even the burglaries they committed and the elaborate spending spree is actually consistent with PTSD associated with severe abuse trauma. Because they came from a wealthy family, it was assumed by many (including the police and trial prosecutors) that it was all about getting the inheritance but there is nothing that proves it. It just lingered on because that was the theory that was repeated for years.
