Emergency custody papers filed by mother of JI's son 11/14/11

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amymarie said:
Legal aid will only take on a custody case if there is some type of abuse/domestic violence involved.

I haven't seen it posted ANYWHERE that Deb and JI have denied access of the children to the other bio parents. My daughter hasn't seen her father in 4 years and I would hate if someone tried to say that about me. I tried and tried and tried to get her dad involved in her life and it's not something he's interested in. I'm not sure why that should reflect poorly on ME (or Deb and JI).

It is extremely hard for a father to get custody of children. So for JI's ex to not have custody, she either didn't show up to court (which means she doesn't care), or she's unfit for some reason. Even if she couldn't have afforded a lawyer, she could have went to court and at least gotten some type of visitaiton agreement. I don't know what she has, but she either doesn't have visitation, or she chooses not to take it. Either way, doesn't seem like she's mother of the year IMO.
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BBM I Respectfully disagree!
As for not seeming like the Mother of the Year, I'd have to say I feel the same about DB. I don't care when she thought her live in boyfriend was supposed to be home from work, she shouldn't have been so irresponsible to be drinking to maybe black out drunk and leaving all three of those children in harms way. :crazy:
The children may have all lived in the home with DB and JI but I sure haven't seen enough about the way they parented them to know it was ever what I would call a safe environment for those children!! I'd love to hear from teachers, and others that would tell the truth about them no matter what it is.

MOO
 
Its notoriously known throughtout advocates for abused woman that they lose custody to psychopathic fathers and Vice versa, the women do poorly on psych evals -reasonable, since they have been abused and threatened perhaps not at their emotional best- and the abuser is soooo keen to/at working others to their advantage, often when a woman loses custody she is not stable (but may be stablizing) but she's not psycho, the man he's stable alright but a complete psycho, and often the children grow up to disrespect the mother and end up just like the dad, cycle begins :( a book 'grand Ave. ' fictional , but a good and accurate read. Th e mom again may look bad on paper, which is great a great case for the court to use it as a 'seeeee...we don't ALWAYS give custody to the women. Judges, att's,children adv's,all of them, none of them want people going around accusing them of ALWAYS giving the mother custody...

If you know in your heart that you honestly try to encourage your child to have a relationship with its father, then you are doing right and if you are ever accused of parent alienation syndrome -keep your chin up - your one of them special peoplewhom it should not and is not your OBLIGATION, never the less it speaks of so much character when a person try so hard for their cchild's benefit. Again it has nothing to do with DB and JI being baby killers ( I don't think) but I just want to get it out there that the old school way of thinking has changed, and sometimes its more important to look into a heart then what's on paper, man or woman..I'm sorry you and your child don't get to experience the dads love for the child-its more often then not the case but not ALWAYS....

Back to baby lisa, I'm still on the fence...you?
 
Karmaa said:
I don't know what part of Missouri they are in, but there are 4 legal aid services in MO. This one (Eastern MO) says this service is available:

"Our lawyers provide counsel, advice and representation to clients in a variety of domestic cases including orders of protection, dissolution of marriage, modifications, paternity establishments and child custody cases."

http://www.lsem.org/FamilyLastingSolutions_10.aspx
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Thank you for the link. I don't believe legal aid helps in regular divorces. IMO, from what I have read, they help when there is abuse involved, orders of protection. Victim services. If you can find a case where there is no abuse and legal aid helped with a "regular" divorce, please post it. I'm interested in knowing.

Like I have stated before, we don't know the circumstance in which JI was given custody. The mother could have not understood, maybe didn't know about court date, maybe the attorney wanted more $$ before court, maybe she was scared, or maybe she is just a horrible mother.

It's a new day. JI's child went missing with the caregiver of her son, she has every right to question the circumstances, try to be part of this kids life again, in some capacity, IF it's healthy for their son.
 
I'm not going to pretend to know the nature of JI & RR's custody issues, but I don't think it'd be surprising if JI did something to dissuade RR from showing up for the court date. Not based on anything I know about JI, but in knowing what some fathers have done to obtain custody. He could have done something to her car to keep her from showing up, he could have threatened her, he could have threatened to hurt their son. We really just don't know. It's also possible that RR didn't want custody for selfish reasons. She could have thought JI was in a better position to provide a stable life for their son and let him have custody.

Not visiting him for 2 years, we don't know that JI didn't keep the boy from RR.

As far as Debbie getting drunk, I don't drink much and haven't been drunk. But I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. She sat outside w/her neighbor having wine starting at 5:30ish? Seems like it's a close neighborhood and if an emergency arose DB could have called a neighbor to take a kid to the ER, if needed. She also has family close by. She didn't drive so being sober to drive a vehicle wasn't likely a concern. She was expecting JI home at 10:30, so she'd have a sober adult in the house from that point on.
 
I don't know what went on between the parents and why JI wound up with custody so I'm not commenting on that, but I do think at this time the worst thing for their son, after losing Lisa, would be to be sent to live with a total stranger.

And it seems the mom is a stranger to him, whether it's her fault or not.

JMHO
 
Okay folks I apologize for throwing legal aid out there. It's a moot point anyway as her attorney is listed at casenet. She had an attorney so even if she missed the court date for any GOOD reason it would have been rescheduled. Judges don't take custody matters lightly.
Not having custody does not mean she is bad or unfit. If she just wanted to give up custody I don't think she would have even bothered with an attorney. She would have just signed him over to JI.
Maybe it was as simple as Jeremy owned a home and it was where the child had resided from birth so his physical custody was awarded to JI.
Still after viewing the video of her I feel if she is not apathetic, she is veeeeery laid back and she certainly has moved on with her life and left the child behind. Even now I think she is contemplating asking for partial custody because she has been spotlighted. That is just my opinion based on she hasn't even said I AM going to fight for something, anything.
 
annalia said:
I don't know what went on between the parents and why JI wound up with custody so I'm not commenting on that, but I do think at this time the worst thing for their son, after losing Lisa, would be to be sent to live with a total stranger.

And it seems the mom is a stranger to him, whether it's her fault or not.

JMHO
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I didn't see where she wants the child to come live with her at this point. The child is young, what better time to get to know your biological mom? Better late than never, unless she is a horrible person. Even horrible parents get to see their children in a controlled atmosphere.
 
menmo said:
BBM I Respectfully disagree!
As for not seeming like the Mother of the Year, I'd have to say I feel the same about DB. I don't care when she thought her live in boyfriend was supposed to be home from work, she shouldn't have been so irresponsible to be drinking to maybe black out drunk and leaving all three of those children in harms way. :crazy:
The children may have all lived in the home with DB and JI but I sure haven't seen enough about the way they parented them to know it was ever what I would call a safe environment for those children!! I'd love to hear from teachers, and others that would tell the truth about them no matter what it is.

MOO
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I T A !!!

I would not pass judgement for light to moderate drinking in more appropriate circumstances, but this woman did not even check on those kids from 6:30 on???

Now THAT is neglect, with or without being pass-out drunk.
 
annalia said:
I don't know what went on between the parents and why JI wound up with custody so I'm not commenting on that, but I do think at this time the worst thing for their son, after losing Lisa, would be to be sent to live with a total stranger.

And it seems the mom is a stranger to him, whether it's her fault or not.

JMHO
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I don't know what went on between them either. In fact, I know next to nothing, which is what most of us know. In my opinion, NONE of us, including at this point even CPS, knows enough to know what the better environment would be for the son. It will take a whole lot of "looking into" before being able to judge if living with his mother would be the "worst" thing.
 
Jacie Estes said:
BBM

Do children really think in terms of the labels that others ascribe to them? Kids are kids, they see a brother not a term used by some parts of the population.
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The reason I pointed out the label,is because we all seem to forget DB and JI had not been together that long and are not married. The boys are not brothers and may not feel like brothers.

Labels don't matter that much to children,but the older son had his father to himself before DB and son came along,so I have no idea how the 8 yr old views the 6 yr old. He may or may not feel like he's a brother.

We had many foster children and adopted,also. There were some foster children my kids(both bio and adopted) hated to see leave and others they never made that "sibling" relationship with. JMO
 
MissJames said:
The reason I pointed out the label,is because we all seem to forget DB and JI had not been together that long and are not married. The boys are not brothers and may not feel like brothers.

Labels don't matter that much to children,but the older son had his father to himself before DB and son came along,so I have no idea how the 8 yr old views the 6 yr old. He may or may not feel like he's a brother.
We had many foster children and adopted,also. There were some foster children my kids(both bio and adopted) hated to see leave and others they never made that "sibling" relationship with. JMO
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1st BBM Why does that matter?

2nd BBM That is for them to decide; for others, as outsiders, to give them the label step kids is an outdated, connotative [having the power of implying or suggesting something in addition to what is explicit] phrase. Step kids does not now mean what it did to anyone 20 years ago. ;) (and that is all I'm saying about that; it is an age thing) lol

3rd BBM That is your situation in a foster home context. JI/DB's home is not a foster home.
 
Jacie Estes said:
1st BBM Why does that matter?

2nd BBM That is for them to decide; for others, as outsiders, to give them the label step kids is an outdated, connotative [having the power of implying or suggesting something in addition to what is explicit] phrase. Step kids does not now mean what it did to anyone 20 years ago. ;) (and that is all I'm saying about that; it is an age thing) lol

3rd BBM That is your situation in a foster home context. JI/DB's home is not a foster home.
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BBM would you care to clarify? I honestly don't know what you mean by that. Stepkids then, stepkids now it's all the same, no? A stepchild is a child that your spouse is a biological parent to, correct? A stepsibling is a child of your parent's spouse. I don't think calling them stepbrothers (if they were) would be labeling them, it's just a relationship like cousin, brother, uncle. It's not something negative.

Back to the original subject of JI's son's mother.....I seriously doubt he thinks of his mom as a complete stranger. He's 8 years old, he surely remembers his mom and loves her. If he was 2 then I could see it being damaging for him to visit her, but if he visited her regularly from 6 years and younger, I'd imagine he remembered her quite clearly.
 
I am still not sure what to think about this whole story and I hope that in the end the boys can be loved and cared for by they're whole family and extended family. I always say they're isn't enough people in this world who can love and care for my daughter, she has a lot of "family" that take on roles not based on biology but based on love and how she feels for people. If its a safe and secure environment I hope they can get things settled in a peaceful way. People grow and change. Sometimes it takes a tragedy for people to realize what they are missing, but I am really hoping there is no custody battle the poor boys have been through so much already, they deserve security love and support from everyone who is around them.
 
RR has filed papers...I started a new thread (just to draw attention via the title). :)

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7351444#post7351444"]Emergency custody papers filed by mother of JI's son 11/14/11 - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]
 
annalia said:
I don't know what went on between the parents and why JI wound up with custody so I'm not commenting on that, but I do think at this time the worst thing for their son, after losing Lisa, would be to be sent to live with a total stranger.

And it seems the mom is a stranger to him, whether it's her fault or not.

JMHO
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IMO out of all of the post on this thread this by far is the BEST one!

We do not know why she has not seen her son in years and to pretend that we do is nothing but rumors. He is devastated at this time with the loss of his baby sister and the loss of his home...to send him with a stranger would not be in his best interest at this time...
 
MissFine said:
BAM! :clap:
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BBM..How is this "BAM"?

Many husbands "work" all day and come home to help with the care of the kids. She is a stay at home Mom and she had to handle a "teething" sick child all day if he is capable of taking care of the kids giving her a break then I see no reason for him not to.

This is 2011 not 1960 just saying....
 
It is sad, but I think this is a wise choice for this child. I wish that the other child (DB's) would have a shot at some normalcy now, too.
 
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