AZL & AZR I have a very good friend and client. She is beautiful, smart, educated, fun, ambitious, kind, generous....a spectacular human being!! She is married to a closet drunk who has had 50 jobs (that I know of) and sabotages her every time she turns around. She moved out of the house, he went into "rehab" and made the "big promises to get better." This spring she confided to me, "I already told my family, if I am found dead, HE DID IT." I am so upset with her because she is UNWILLING TO MAKE (in my opinion) A HEALTHY & PERMANENT separation from this man. She makes excuses about having to give up 1/2 her retirement, paying him alimony and 50% of assets. Of course, (being the quiet, non-opinionated, and unconcerned friend, NOT!) I'm saying to her, "So what??? No amount of money is worth your life or not seeing your children!!!"I think it helps if you remember that it is part of human psychology (because it is an extremely helpful evolutionary advantage) to look at a tragedy and attempt to learn a lesson from it. E.g., "If this were happening in my life, how would I recognize the signs?" "If this were happening in my friend's life, how could I help?" Subconsciously or not, we are all trying to figure out how these situations might be avoided in the future--and since we are not murderers we ask how non-murderers might avoid such situations. It is not blaming the victim but trying to learn lessons from her life.
It just makes me sick, because now she won't talk to me (or her family right now) about anything....I know she is not in a healthy place. I just wanted to let YOU know I have seen how complicated relationships can be....the heart wants, what the heart wants. Regardless, a murder for hire, is a murder for hire.