Emergency custody papers filed by mother of JI's son 11/14/11

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highflyer said:
So JI was expected to work a job and another part time job, and then be the sole caregiver of a teething sick infant?
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What I was replying to was your post saying 96 times a year she gets drunk and blacks out (see your original post) and implying (as I read it) that she is the sole caregiver in the home at night. That night, maybe yes, she was expecting JI to help with tending to the kids when he got home. We also don't know that she blacked out, she said "it's possible" that she did. We also don't know that she intended to drink enough to get drunk that night.

And speaking of night, it's 3:12 am and I have to get up early, so I'll bid you a good night. :seeya: :woohoo:
 
Dewey2Me1MoThyme said:
What I was replying to was your post saying 96 times a year she gets drunk and blacks out (see your original post) and implying (as I read it) that she is the sole caregiver in the home at night. That night, maybe yes, she was expecting JI to help with tending to the kids when he got home. We also don't know that she blacked out, she said "it's possible" that she did. We also don't know that she intended to drink enough to get drunk that night.

And speaking of night, it's 3:12 am and I have to get up early, so I'll bid you a good night. :seeya: :woohoo:
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You seem to of read something that was not there. Interesting.
 
:sigh: Looks like I missed a lot of news over the weekend. I knew this was coming as soon as I found out the 2 boys had different bio parents, have not seen them, and JI was "ruthless" in his custody battle. This is where I start teetering on the fence, and think something happened in the home to Lisa and JI & DB covered it up in fear of custody battles and Child Protective Services investigations. I hope not.

The custody issues were bound to rear their heads when you have a mother that has not seen her son for reasons unknown to us, and a father who has not seen his son as he was deployed but is back in town, or that is what we are told. Whenever there are custody issues things get ugly, the best interests of the children are forgotten in a tug of war with parents, the children are asked to pick a side to love, and are left not knowing what a loving family life really is.

I wish the best for both the boys in this, whatever that may be. :sigh:
 
Jaxson said:
Yes, and that she is not apathetic in the least. There is always legal aid.
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The other option I think may apply, would be that perhaps she knew she wasn't going to win anyway. Maybe when it came right down to it, she was served papers, and realized she wouldn't get custody. Didn't really care to be dragged through the courts.

Up until that point she may have believed Jeremy wouldn't really take her to court. Weren't they both very young? Like 18.
 
BetteDavisEyes said:
I don't know enough about the non-custodial biological parents of DB's and JI's sons to offer an opinion on one or the other, but it was disheartening to learn that both biological parents have been denied access to their children during the time that Deborah and Jeremy have been in a relationship. It appears that one or both of these individuals are selfish control freaks who want their own way even it might not be in the best interest of their respective children. Deborah's son should have a relationship with his father, and Jeremy's son should have a relationship with the mother who gave him life. jmo
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Thankyou! SOOOO good to see anyone open minded...there are many fathers AND mothers who look like monsters when dealing with a parent who uses parent alienation syndrome, as much as anyone SAYS they'd never give up, you'd be surprised.., they have a way of convincing the aliented and everyone else that their a monster and the alienator is flawless, the alienated then becomes the creation and gives up...where they should be fighting and perfecting the self, they spiral down, ...but can rise again.

I do beleive DB and ji love their kids, right wrong or indifferent I've seen some pretty amazing people go out of their own way to make sure children keep a relationship, its speaks volumes when a person does that. Not saying its their responsibility or that tthe aliented is not irresponsible, but...2 children having no relationship
 
menmo said:
I didn't know Legal Aid in MO took on divorces, custody issues?
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They do. I know somebody that went this way. This person had a REAL good reason for needing a divorce and custody (dad convicted of child abuse), but they did go through legal aid and it is documented as such on casenet. I do not know if this was a special circumstance or not though.
 
MissFine said:
bbm
Sometimes things go too far.
Step child is not name calling. It is perfectly correct and still used in today's English language.

That's like me saying I don't think a child should be called a kid. moo
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ExpectingUnicorns said:
Don't have to be sorry. It's not a stigma. There is nothing unloving about being a step-anything. It's not even insensitive in my opinion. It just is what it is without blurring any facts. . . and the facts have already been blurred enough to confuse everyone in this case.
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Again, Maybe it is an age thing, to older people who grew up in a certain social climate then step is a term that is one they are comfortable saying. It's a grandma thing; like a 'wicked stepmother'. Kids don't see themselves as 'step' anything; it is a word used by another part/segment of society to label them. A fact is that kids are just kids, it's the adults who use the term.

Step kids is a whole different ball game and has nothing to do with a partner's children. lol
 
The attorney of the 8yo's biological mom years ago for custody on casenet when you look up Jeremy, and currently on MSM articles is a defense attorney, and not a family law attorney. That would lead me to believe that either they are friends, and she takes her case as friend even though it's not what she does- or her primary role in RR's life is that of a defense attorney. By way of the attorney's website, it's obvious that she doesn't take on contested child custody as part of her practice.

I am not going to give an opinion on if she should have custody, because I simply don't know. But I believe the courts have the brain power to make an appropriate decision should it go to court.
 
Did you read about the Texas judge?--- Or see the video, judges go into judge, because they like to judge others, not to fight for rights for others, a totally different mentality and use of brain power then lets say, a child therapist, I wonder about people and their 'chosen' profession.

Needless to say , I'm sure DB and JI's exes do look convincingly awful on paper, but MAYBE if you could look in their hearts without judging they may be better parents then the martyr dad JI or the "only thing going for her so far as I see 'CLEAN' DB'- not saying their baby killers I'm still on the fence
 
menmo said:
If perhaps she couldn't have afforded an attorney (just saying if) then she may have already felt defeated before the court hearing.
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Snipped for space and Bold by me:

Shouldn't she have been there screaming and shouting and fighting regardless? Or is that just DB that needs to do that?? Just wondering!
 
shrek said:
Did you read about the Texas judge?--- Or see the video, judges go into judge, because they like to judge others, not to fight for rights for others, a totally different mentality and use of brain power then lets say, a child therapist, I wonder about people and their 'chosen' profession.

Needless to say , I'm sure DB and JI's exes do look convincingly awful on paper, but MAYBE if you could look in their hearts without judging they may be better parents then the martyr dad JI or the "only thing going for her so far as I see 'CLEAN' DB'- not saying their baby killers I'm still on the fence
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Yes, bad judges, bad LE, and bad FBI exist. I think 99% of the time they are impartial to most child custody cases and do want what is right for the child. I'm not going to paint them all with one brush, so unless their judge is shown to be unfair, I'm going to assume fair use of one's brain power :)
 
RR is a Sikh name. Maybe RR's culture has something to do with why she may not have tried to get custody.
 
Jaxson said:
I guess I don't know that they do either but thought that's what legal aid is for. At any rate I can't imagine a judge basing custody on who has an attorney. She had a court date. She didn't show up. I know I would have but she could have been suffering a great deal of depression. That may even been why she appears apathetic to some of us now that I think about it. But it doesn't explain why she hasn't bothered to see him since she moved out.
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I know someone that tried to get Legal Aid to help them with a divorce/custody issue in our area of MO but was told they don't do that. I went out and found her an attorney that took her case pro bono.
If it were me, I'd hate to stand alone in that court room, wanting custody of my child, while the father had a good, strong attorney. I agree, I'd do it, but to me no good can come if both sides aren't equally represented. I'm wondering if their son had his own attorney? If not he should have, in my opinion, and he definitely should if they go forward with this. It often times isn't but it should always be about what truly is best for the child.
I went through an awful divorce years ago. The hate and stupid things he did to hurt me and our kids went on for about seven years before he finally gave up. I often thought if I were a weaker person with no strong support of my family and friends behind me and that he had been the one awarded custody that I might have walked away from my kids to help save them from being in the middle of the hate. Fact is that some women and men do think just that, I'm sure.
I'm not going to say at this time that I think their son's custody should be turned over to the mom, nor will I say it should be left with the dad. I simply don't know or have an opinion on that at the moment. I would, however, IF the mother is a good person with no serious known issues, would like to see her reunited and able to have a relationship with her son. It's his mother, after all. I feel the same about DB's son, but do wish that she would at least try to keep a relationship going with his father's family. I do realize it isn't all up to her, though.

MOO
 
shrek said:
Thankyou! SOOOO good to see anyone open minded...there are many fathers AND mothers who look like monsters when dealing with a parent who uses parent alienation syndrome, as much as anyone SAYS they'd never give up, you'd be surprised.., they have a way of convincing the aliented and everyone else that their a monster and the alienator is flawless, the alienated then becomes the creation and gives up...where they should be fighting and perfecting the self, they spiral down, ...but can rise again.

I do beleive DB and ji love their kids, right wrong or indifferent I've seen some pretty amazing people go out of their own way to make sure children keep a relationship, its speaks volumes when a person does that. Not saying its their responsibility or that tthe aliented is not irresponsible, but...2 children having no relationship
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I am one of those people :)
And we don't know that Jeremy or Deb aren't :)
 
SmoothOperator said:
She may be new news to some but bio-mom has already been thoroughly discussed by many here in Lisa's forum and she already has her own thread.. It's quite obvious that this bio-mom for whatever reasons(theyre all excuses anyway and those excuses do me no good.. The only one she's gotta answer to for her lack of seeing her son.. Is just her son)has chosen to not go forward with any visitation.. None zero zilch, ever.. She has had rights for visitation this entire time of over 2 years.. She has not seen him even once and the son has lived in the same home from which bio-mom moved out from on Lister.. Jeremy could not, even if he wanted to, in anyway prohibit, stand in the way, cause problems with RR exercising her right to visitation with her son.. The mother is the only one to blame for their being zero contact...


^above^ BBM.. Would love to see where it is you saw these statements(maybe where those other statements are of those "DB supporters"..lol.. Nonexistent..:D)
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Oh how I wish I were closer to where the divorce took place. I'd head on over to the courthouse and get a copy of that decree and read it for myself. Has anyone seen one online anywhere?
I've seen Judges give "reasonable" visitation of a child to the other parent and have it determined by the custodial parent. If you're a divorcing parent you should hope to always have the visitation spelled out by the court otherwise you are at the mercy of the other parent and it may be few and far between, if at all. I'm sure some parents give up for just this reason, thinking that the turmoil may be hurting the child more.

MOO
 
In da Middle said:
They do. I know somebody that went this way. This person had a REAL good reason for needing a divorce and custody (dad convicted of child abuse), but they did go through legal aid and it is documented as such on casenet. I do not know if this was a special circumstance or not though.
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Then it must vary in different areas in MO. Wonder if it has to do with the backlog of cases?
 
menmo said:
Then it must vary in different areas in MO. Wonder if it has to do with the backlog of cases?
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Clay County in 1999. That is as far as my knowledge goes as to legal aid and divorce cases. But that does mean it can and does happen here.
 
Legal aid will only take on a custody case if there is some type of abuse/domestic violence involved.

I haven't seen it posted ANYWHERE that Deb and JI have denied access of the children to the other bio parents. My daughter hasn't seen her father in 4 years and I would hate if someone tried to say that about me. I tried and tried and tried to get her dad involved in her life and it's not something he's interested in. I'm not sure why that should reflect poorly on ME (or Deb and JI).

It is extremely hard for a father to get custody of children. So for JI's ex to not have custody, she either didn't show up to court (which means she doesn't care), or she's unfit for some reason. Even if she couldn't have afforded a lawyer, she could have went to court and at least gotten some type of visitaiton agreement. I don't know what she has, but she either doesn't have visitation, or she chooses not to take it. Either way, doesn't seem like she's mother of the year IMO.
 
AngelWings444 said:
Where I live, they do not have legal aide for custody issues. As I stated before, we do not know why she didn't "show" up. Maybe she didn't know about the court date, maybe her car broke down, maybe she was scared, maybe she is just not a good mother. We shouldn't assume anything about this mother, nor think she "lost" custody. None of us have any clue what the situation was like, for her, the child, or with JI.

Are we allowed to sleuth this mother here? I didn't think so...
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I don't know what part of Missouri they are in, but there are 4 legal aid services in MO. This one (Eastern MO) says this service is available:

"Our lawyers provide counsel, advice and representation to clients in a variety of domestic cases including orders of protection, dissolution of marriage, modifications, paternity establishments and child custody cases."

http://www.lsem.org/FamilyLastingSolutions_10.aspx
 
amymarie said:
Legal aid will only take on a custody case if there is some type of abuse/domestic violence involved.

I haven't seen it posted ANYWHERE that Deb and JI have denied access of the children to the other bio parents. My daughter hasn't seen her father in 4 years and I would hate if someone tried to say that about me. I tried and tried and tried to get her dad involved in her life and it's not something he's interested in. I'm not sure why that should reflect poorly on ME (or Deb and JI).

It is extremely hard for a father to get custody of children. So for JI's ex to not have custody, she either didn't show up to court (which means she doesn't care), or she's unfit for some reason. Even if she couldn't have afforded a lawyer, she could have went to court and at least gotten some type of visitaiton agreement. I don't know what she has, but she either doesn't have visitation, or she chooses not to take it. Either way, doesn't seem like she's mother of the year IMO.
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The case I am aware of definitely has abuse involved. A child died from it. I really don't think legal aid is even in the equation here. She has representation listed on casenet and it is the same person listed in the interview. If she did not show up at court, it would have been the attorneys duty to make sure she knew about it. If the attorney didn't at least make her aware of the court date, why would she still be using this same attorney?
 
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