2010.07.12 Friend of Terri's describes her as a good mother

[Kat]

Because some people are good liars, that's all it is. There wouldn't be any domestic crime if people couldn't fool their friends and family members into trusting them.

Even if Kaine saw something strange, the first reaction is usually denial, especially where children are concerned. If you read some of the high-profile cases here, no family member ever wants to believe that someone could be a bad mother or father, or even want to hurt a spouse.

One example: In the Peterson case, even with all the evidence stacked against Scott Peterson that came out over months and months, his brother and mother and father still took the stand in his defense, even knowing that he killed a pregnant woman and a baby. Laci never saw her own death coming from the father of her unborn child either. She and her family trusted him, but he was a chronic liar.

As far as what this poor woman said about TH, good for her. That's her perception. Whether it matches the reality when all is said and done is another thing entirely.

Hi Thoughtfox, I'm jumping off your post because I noticed you changed your avatar and I miss the D'onofiro one :wink:

JMHO and past experiences in life...

We tend to see other's as we see ourselves. We tend to judge other's by our own actions.

What I'm trying to say (and what I'm trying to teach my teens before they fly from my nest is this~) if we are good people, if we have kind hearts and wouldn't hurt another person intentionally (whether emotionally or physically) if we are law abiding---we view other's as having the same attributes. Especially if we have a friendship or any other type of relationship with them.

Conversely, if someone is capable of lying, is not worthy of trust...etc. They are usually the first ones to accuse you of being such when you aren't JMHO.

This woman defended her friend. I don't know her but within her relationship with TMH she judged TMH by her own sense of common decency and her own love for her own children (if she has any).

Also, it doesn't help when there are certain people we meet in life that will mirror us or present what we want to see in them---to gain our trust, but in fact they are nothing like what they present.

Life is very tricky isn't it?

All JMHO.

 

[Aedrys]

Hi Thoughtfox, I'm jumping off your post because I noticed you changed your avatar and I miss the D'onofiro one :wink:

JMHO and past experiences in life...

We tend to see other's as we see ourselves. We tend to judge other's by our own actions.

What I'm trying to say (and what I'm trying to teach my teens before they fly from my nest is this~) if we are good people, if we have kind hearts and wouldn't hurt another person intentionally (whether emotionally or physically) if we are law abiding---we view other's as having the same attributes. Especially if we have a friendship or any other type of relationship with them.

Conversely, if someone is capable of lying, is not worthy of trust...etc. They are usually the first ones to accuse you of being such when you aren't JMHO.

This woman defended her friend. I don't know her but within her relationship with TMH she judged TMH by her own sense of common decency and her own love for her own children (if she has any).

Also, it doesn't help when there are certain people we meet in life that will mirror us or present what we want to see in them---to gain our trust, but in fact they are nothing like what they present.

Life is very tricky isn't it?

All JMHO.

ITA. Having been victim to two people that said what I wanted to hear and made me believe they were my friend, and then it was only later that I realized what frauds they were, you are absolutely right. And it sucks to know that they were not like me and were definitely NOT my friend. I hate the fact that I was manipulated and used by these people. It's one of the worst feelings of betrayal in the world to me. I still have trust issues to this day because of them. And when I see them in other people, I tend to go cynical and think the worst.

 

[Kat]

ITA. Having been victim to two people that said what I wanted to hear and made me believe they were my friend, and then it was only later that I realized what frauds they were, you are absolutely right. And it sucks to know that they were not like me and were definitely NOT my friend. I hate the fact that I was manipulated and used by these people. It's one of the worst feelings of betrayal in the world to me. I still have trust issues to this day because of them. And when I see them in other people, I tend to go cynical and think the worst.

I'm so sorry you had that happen to you Aedrys. I did too, it's such a hard life lesson.

FWIW, If and when TMH is found to be responsible for Kyron's disappearance this is going to hurt so many people. Even her friend that defended her.


ETA: all JMHO.

 

[Chewy]

With regard to the hand gestures, I haven't watched the clip but I will say that my sister is hearing impaired and since she's pointed it out to me it is amazing how many people cover their mouth when they talk. It drives her crazy because she needs to see their lips in order to lip read. She said it is often shyness about having poor teeth.

 

[txsvicki]

It's interesting to see what people have to say about Terri and Kyron, but I'm more interested in what went on in the house when they were all alone. Good grief, Terri had charge of Kyron since he was a toddler and was a stay at home mom. Of course she'd seem comfortable and happy around him. If she were very mean around the school or with friends they would have been doing something about it. Hopefully Kaine and the older boy are the ones who can answer if Kyron was expected to be perfect or was overly disciplined in a harsh scary way. Terri's achievements and life seemed perfectly normal to me except for giving up a master's degree career to stay at home with another woman's baby and the dui around that same time. Something seems to have been very wrong in the marriage, so all this talk from friends is more hope that Terri did love Kyron, thought she was about to be left, and wanted to hide him. Maybe not realistic, but at least there's hope.

 

[butwhatif?]

I'm certainly not saying that something sinister lurks behind every picture of a happy family, or even in Kyron's family, but that it can. Besides, (and correct me if I'm wrong) a parent would have to be really sick to take pictures of their childen when they are crying or upset. There might have been hidden abuse in Kyron's family (people didn't know how abusive my mother was), or maybe TH suddenly snapped, but it wouldn't necessarily show in photos.

Respectfully snipped and BBM

I must be really sick then. I have pics of my lil ones crying....Like when they have just lost a baby tooth, when the tears were a mix of anxiety and relief. And I uploaded to my private FB page...but it was followed by a pic of a grin from ear to ear after a visit from the toothfairy.

Back on topic, I'd love to know just how close Terri and her really were. Any phone calls to each other recently?
Weird that it took her so long to come out and say this.

Wonder if Terri showed her a lot of support after her hubby passed, and that kindness colored her vision of Terri.
JMO

 

[Haeve]

<snip>
I must be really sick then. I have pics of my lil ones crying....Like when they have just lost a baby tooth, when the tears were a mix of anxiety and relief. And I uploaded to my private FB page...but it was followed by a pic of a grin from ear to ear after a visit from the toothfairy.
<snip>

Sorry if I caused offense. I did say "correct me if I'm wrong", so thank you--I'm not a parent so I honestly couldn't think of a reason why one would take photos of a child who was unhappy. The thought of it just makes me sad. And not to sound maudlin, but I was thinking of my own childhood, where I was often crying because of the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. It would have been pretty horrible (and sick) if she had documented that on film, I think. Would there be a reason to do that?

Again, sorry, I was just trying to illustrate the fact that just because a family looks happy...etc. Hypothetical and rhetorical, but what would y'all do if you saw someone's family photos where everyone looked unhappy? Has anyone ever seen such a thing?

Because of my personal experience, I just can't help but poke holes in people's assumptions about what a happy family looks like. :angel: People who can't imagine a mother mistreating her children are very very lucky! Bless all of you who really love your children.

 

[newone]

Sorry if I caused offense. I did say "correct me if I'm wrong", so thank you--I'm not a parent so I honestly couldn't think of a reason why one would take photos of a child who was unhappy. The thought of it just makes me sad. And not to sound maudlin, but I was thinking of my own childhood, where I was often crying because of the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. It would have been pretty horrible (and sick) if she had documented that on film, I think. Would there be a reason to do that?

Again, sorry, I was just trying to illustrate the fact that just because a family looks happy...etc. Hypothetical and rhetorical, but what would y'all do if you saw someone's family photos where everyone looked unhappy? Has anyone ever seen such a thing?

Because of my personal experience, I just can't help but poke holes in people's assumptions about what a happy family looks like. :angel: People who can't imagine a mother mistreating her children are very very lucky! Bless all of you who really love your children.

You know what? I hated when folks took photos of me when I was a kid for same reasons that you outlined (it seemed soooo phony) however when I was a mom I was proud of my kids and when they critiqued their photos as they aged pointing out that they were missing teeth or whatever I reminded (MY kids) that I took the photo because the subjects them were so beautiful to me. I find it sad that there are so many kids who are unloved. As parents we have an opportunity to remind our kids how beautiful they are every day!

 

[LillyRush]

I think that Terri's level of participation in the school was perfectly normal, as far as volunteering and that sort of thing. The types of things she did do also seem to mostly fit in line with her educational background, goals, etc. I'm not saying this as a way to point to guilt or innocence, just that I don't think the posts where things are stated as though she was trying to be "mother of the year" or going overboard in some narcissistic way are accurate. I've seen no actual example of how she went overboard at all like that with the school/classroom helper stuff.

 

[froginTtown]

I thought this lady was very honest. I do believe her when she said she thinks Terri is a good mother. I wish more had the courage to step forward and give their opinions on the Terri they knew/know but with the media so much against Terri some may be fearful to do so thinking they will suffer backlash themselves.

To this day I have never seen anyone say that Terri was an abusive mother to Kyron before his disappearance. Not even Kaine.

I also agree with this lady when she said if the person is guilty then they deserve all of this but if they are not it will destroy them (paraphrasing).

IMO

I love this post and totally agree with it...!!! (from my own personal experience..:angel

 

[ClueMeIn]

I don't think the "friend" was necessarily saying what a wonderful person Terri was. I think she was in disbelief that she trusted her. The hands over the mouth, could have been disbelief and shock.

 

[Cajun Girl]

IMHO

We are all so very fragile. This woman was protecting herself, confessing and sharing her point of view. We are all very capable of putting on our public faces, masking our true feelings and allowing others to see what we have displayed. If there was some final plan falling into place am sure TH was on her best behavior, creating fun times and photos for all to see.

How many times have we heard, "he was a quiet man"? What demons lurk beyond our public facade is anyone's guess.

Where are you precious angel? Kyron, you are loved and missed. May the angels surround you.

 

[believe09]

with kiane placing all this guilt, it makes you wonder why didnt he take actions sooner to protect his children is it was that much of a threat.

??? What action could he have taken sooner? just curious...he was notified post disappearance by LE that TH was hiring someone to kill him and may have had something to do with the disappearance of his son. Once he was notified he fled, took his remaining child into safe hiding and filed for divorce/RO.

 

[keeponsearching]

I like the fact this woman is waiting until whoever took Kyron is discovered instead of jumping on the wagon and thinking of things to say about Terri that aren't so good.
I wonder what I would do if a friend started being accused of something along these lines. This lady like other moms and teachers probably know Terri more than anyone....
The way I am with my kids, is the same way I am with my kids in my house. I disipline them everywhere. I feel those thatact different outside there homes are the ones we have to look at. FOr example my mothers boyfriend, i would never known how mean he really was if my mom never told me what he said about me after we left... So with that being said, I would like some info to come out about how Terri interacted with all her children, and its hard to tell if it was any different at home... But really if a kid is acting up, at home, no take a time out, in public oh sweety please don't touch that, two different things. Me, no, please do not touch, take a reset, anywhere I am.... just saying except my kids act way better in public than at home.
Gosh this is the longest post I have ever wrote and it probably doesn't even make sense, ohh children screaming.....stomping feet haha..