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This is insane!
"Giving away a child in America can be surprisingly easy. Legal adoptions must be handled through the courts, and prospective parents must be vetted. But there are ways around such oversight. Children can be sent to new families quickly through a basic "power of attorney" document a notarized statement declaring the child to be in the care of another adult."
http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1
People (assuming they have any common sense) should realize that adopting a child is not a walk in the park. Especially with older children, teenagers. You take a child out of his/her country, and what do you expect? But after you adopt, the child is your responsibility.
I don't think adoptive parents expect perfect children.
Must admit, I did read quite a few ads where, if the adoptive parents were being honest, i font understand why they'd want to relinquish the child. I doubt those ads were honest.
Imagine it this way....
People in this country frown on and don't understand arranged marriages, imagine being matched with a person from another country, background, language and with tons of baggage ..... And society fully expects you to honor that marriage for eternity regardless if your new spouse hates you, beats you, spits in your face daily, destroys your home, kills your pets, threatens to kill you, your other children, And society offers you no hope, no help, no respite, not enough therapy...you are stuck, forever. What if you have children and your new spouse does the same and worse to them???
I think in your analogy, it's the child who is being put into the arranged marriage. Someone is taking a child out of his/her country, the child doesn't know the language, it's a completely foreign environment for the child, they are removed from everything they know, including friends, and adoptive parents are expecting gratitude and perfect behavior.
I agree with Jenny. International adoption is expensive and time consuming. DOnt the parents spend time with this child in most cases? Visits abroad? BUt I can understand how in that situation one can be deceived but I cannot believe people are that niave in thinking love and therapy can be enough.
As for domestic adoptions I really have little sympathy. My sister adopted 3 kids and the process took over a year here in texas. There were tons of home visits and adjustments. So I'm sure if a child has behavioral issues they would manifest. Nothing is 100 percent, but it seems to me some of these parents do consider these kids as an accessory, ego boost, or fulfilling some emotional need that therapy should fill instead of a child. That goes for natural parents too!!!
Well, I guess it's a good thing Russia banned all the adoptions to US, since apparently we have to save all these adult people from themselves.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2007/12/08/when-adoption-goes-wrong.html
When Sterkel, a nurse, first started working with international adoptees in the early '90s, she didn't see many deeply troubled children. But 10 years ago she adopted two Russian boys whose American parents had given up on them. One of them, a 14-year-old boy, had just been released from a juvenile-detention center after trying to poison his mother. Over time, Sterkel was approached so often about adopting other children that she decided to open her camp. Today it houses 25 to 30 kids from all over the country, and has a waiting list. The overwhelming majority are from Russia, Romania and Bulgaria, but she also has had children from South Korea and Colombia. Some were bullied or raped while institutionalized or were the children of prostitutes, drug addicts or alcoholics. "I have gotten calls from parents who say the child they adopted has killed the family dog, threatened to kill them, and no one will help them," she says.
More at link
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting...s-international-adoptions/t/story?id=10360247
I dread to think of the kind of emotional and physiological damage done to children in Romanian 'orphanages' (child warehouses...), refugee camps, and the like.
I have done quite a bit of research on the Romanian situation. I was not at all surprised to see that girl in a thread here a while back, who was locked up for extreme cruelty to animals and being a 'psychopath' (she was due out soon, was the issue) had been adopted from one of these Romanian concentration camps for kids.
She cannot help the way she is. There is little hope for her ever being healthy and able to adjust to a normal life. The damage was done in infancy and the early development stages of childhood, to her brain, and that is now how she is 'wired'. This is not unusual for children who are institutionalised in such places from a very young age. She's just lucky she didn't emerge from it with AIDs as well.
Point being, I don't think the average family is in any way equipped to deal with these severely damaged children. And there untold thousands of them.... a few of whom might survive into adulthood.
Think about that. Those kids, whose brains are fundamentally wired to sociopathy and psychopathy, who have missed every single developmental moment of import a child can need, are GOING to grow up and interact with the rest of society.
And these are the kids being adopted by our affluent nations, who no-one can handle.
The problem of what to do with these kids, the Romanian warehouse kids, the rescued Somalian child soldiers, the survivors of the third world brothels and garbage dumps and refugee camps, NEEDS TO BE a global concern, and in the hands of the UN as a major priority. Billions of dollars need to go toward housing and care facilities and staff training in third world institutions, therapy, training for foster and adoptive families, and hammer-and-tongs prosecution of the scum who are using these children as livestock for the child sex trade.
This is what we could do for these children, and the least, the base line, of what needs to be done. Because the world doesn't need any more sociopaths in it. But mostly because they are nobody's children and therefore they belong to us all.
When a Liberian girl proves too much for her parents, they advertise her online and give her to a couple they’ve never met. Days later, she goes missing.