America's underground market for re-housing adopted children

terrifying to realize people offload their children on the internet like this
 
I dread to think of the kind of emotional and physiological damage done to children in Romanian 'orphanages' (child warehouses...), refugee camps, and the like.

I have done quite a bit of research on the Romanian situation. I was not at all surprised to see that girl in a thread here a while back, who was locked up for extreme cruelty to animals and being a 'psychopath' (she was due out soon, was the issue) had been adopted from one of these Romanian concentration camps for kids.

She cannot help the way she is. There is little hope for her ever being healthy and able to adjust to a normal life. The damage was done in infancy and the early development stages of childhood, to her brain, and that is now how she is 'wired'. This is not unusual for children who are institutionalised in such places from a very young age. She's just lucky she didn't emerge from it with AIDs as well.

Point being, I don't think the average family is in any way equipped to deal with these severely damaged children. And there untold thousands of them.... a few of whom might survive into adulthood.

Think about that. Those kids, whose brains are fundamentally wired to sociopathy and psychopathy, who have missed every single developmental moment of import a child can need, are GOING to grow up and interact with the rest of society.

And these are the kids being adopted by our affluent nations, who no-one can handle.

The problem of what to do with these kids, the Romanian warehouse kids, the rescued Somalian child soldiers, the survivors of the third world brothels and garbage dumps and refugee camps, NEEDS TO BE a global concern, and in the hands of the UN as a major priority. Billions of dollars need to go toward housing and care facilities and staff training in third world institutions, therapy, training for foster and adoptive families, and hammer-and-tongs prosecution of the scum who are using these children as livestock for the child sex trade.

This is what we could do for these children, and the least, the base line, of what needs to be done. Because the world doesn't need any more sociopaths in it. But mostly because they are nobody's children and therefore they belong to us all.
 
Nobody is making these people to adopt the children to begin with. In fact it's very expensive, time consuming and difficult (if they go through the proper adoption). Especially from another country.
Why do you go to another country and adopt a child if you are so ill-equipped to care for this child?
 
I should think people don't lollop off on a whim with ten of thousands of dollars in hand for a new son or daughter and not have the very best of intentions..

I am supposing that the vast majority of adoptive parents who end up struggling hard are either mislead, or hugely under-informed as to the specific problems a child has.

They likely wouldn't see an ad such as:

This is Djordje. He's 8 years old and likes to pull his own hair out and rock back and forth a lot. He has never seen another human being smile, and tends to panic at loud noises. He would be best in an environment without other children or domestic pets. We strongly recommend you lock up all sharp objects, prepare several years' supply of diapers and try to learn the Romanian for 'shut up, you' and 'filthy monkey' as those are the only words he is familiar with and will respond to, presently. When you come to see him, he'll be on a massive dose of thorazine, which will wear off by the time you get him home, so slight changes in his demeanour are to be expected.

I am (sort of) exaggerating. But you get my drift.
 
When you adopt a child, you know little to nothing about them, unless it happens to be an adoption within a family or something similar. You know only what the adopting agency wants you to know.

Let me put it this way. If an agency had to write a "listing" for my seven year old, it would go something along the lines of:
7 year old white male, raised in a large two-parent household. Exhibits mild traits of autism spectrum disorder, physically healthy. He is in second grade, where he is excelling in the areas of reading and writing. He would do best in a two parent household, where nurturing one on one time can be a priority.

That really doesn't sound that bad.

However, my brutally honest listing for the same child would read something like:

7 year old male, raised in a two parent household. Is diagnosed with pediatric schizophrenia. He poses a severe risk to himself and others if not properly medicated. Even when properly medicated, he must be directly observed every waking moment, including while using the bathroom. Strong signs of physical aggression, coupled with his physical strength, make it necessary to recommend that he be placed in a home with at least two physically strong adults, as restraining him is necessary daily. he is excelling in school, but will not even attempt subjects that don't interest him, therefore, constant monitoring and academic services are necessary. Constant attempts at manipulation and control, while refusing to accept responsibility for his own actions makes it imperative that the entire family have access to counseling services and respite care. Death threats are common, so is self injury. One parent will need to be available at all times, even if he attends school, so that he can be picked up from school, taken for crisis mental health services and emergency treatment for self-injury. It is recommended that pets, prized possessions, food, and any potential weapon (read: anything he can lift) be locked up securely.

That's pretty much the difference. You take on a toddler and within a year, it is clear that the child has no way of giving or receiving love, so traditional discipline is useless. Beating the child might work, however it is illegal, and will teach them nothing, however, by the time of the adoption, is it possible that the child was so badly beaten that abuse is all they respond to. Agencies are supposed to disclose everything they know to the adoptive parents in regards to the child's health and history. Reputable agencies do. Non-reputable agencies don't, and even when info is given out, sometimes it takes years for the effects of the hell the kid lived through to start showing.

This is a well known practice where I come from in the low income world. It's called "Beating the system". It's what abusive or poverty stricken parents do when CPS knocks on the door. They write out a guardianship paper, have it notarized, and sign over the child to someone close to them. As soon as the state stops looking into the case, the child is returned to their home. It is perfectly legal, and honestly, it has the chance to save lives. It might end a few too, and put children in worse situations, but often this is the only chance that child is going to have, or they might be beaten to death or just thrown out on the streets anyway.

There is no easy answer, that's for sure.

(Additional note: No, I have never tried to give away my son, the post above is written simply for explanation sake. I love him, he is mine, and I'm not letting him go anywhere.)
 
I'm confused after watching the Today Show this morning the focus is solely on international adoptions. I can attest that that it happens with domestic adoptions from the foster care system. The truth was never shared with me, despite being very well documented, I only learned of how extensive and longstanding the issues were through the discovery process after the fact. The behaviors caused the child to be moved many many times. He was simply moved into another unsuspecting foster home where he was free to victimize again and again. Not only in the homes he was placed in but also schools he attended. It was like a shell game. This particular child presented well, charming, helpful and ever so polite and helpful. A true psychopath with zero empathy and evil simmering underneath the depths of which you couldn't begin to imagine.

Even after he was sentenced and society was safe (at least until his 18th birthday) I refused to sign off rights until he had been thoroughly neurologically and psychologically evaluated and the results well documented. That too was battle because DYFS would have preferred and tried to get me to sign off, after the state filed charges, and send him to yet another foster home. Why? I'll never know or pretend to understand. This was the very same agency that refused to help when I pleaded for it, telling me they don't get involved in crimes committed by children.
 
People (assuming they have any common sense) should realize that adopting a child is not a walk in the park. Especially with older children, teenagers. You take a child out of his/her country, and what do you expect? But after you adopt, the child is your responsibility.
 
This is insane!


"Giving away a child in America can be surprisingly easy. Legal adoptions must be handled through the courts, and prospective parents must be vetted. But there are ways around such oversight. Children can be sent to new families quickly through a basic "power of attorney" document – a notarized statement declaring the child to be in the care of another adult."

http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

Just started reading the Reuters article last night. It's just unbelievable how so many children have been thrown away. As a society we treat our weakest members, children & the elderly, as if they are simply disposable burdens to be discarded when they become too much trouble.

I know I'm oversimplifying this horrible situation. I do feel for some of these parents while my heart breaks for the children. I just can't wrap my head around caring for a child for years and then giving him/her away.

I'll finish reading the article today. Thanks for starting this thread.
 
People (assuming they have any common sense) should realize that adopting a child is not a walk in the park. Especially with older children, teenagers. You take a child out of his/her country, and what do you expect? But after you adopt, the child is your responsibility.

I don't think adoptive parents expect perfect children.

Must admit, I did read quite a few ads where, if the adoptive parents were being honest, i font understand why they'd want to relinquish the child. I doubt those ads were honest.


Imagine it this way....

People in this country frown on and don't understand arranged marriages, imagine being matched with a person from another country, background, language and with tons of baggage ..... And society fully expects you to honor that marriage for eternity regardless if your new spouse hates you, beats you, spits in your face daily, destroys your home, kills your pets, threatens to kill you, your other children, And society offers you no hope, no help, no respite, not enough therapy...you are stuck, forever. What if you have children and your new spouse does the same and worse to them???
 
Most people realize when adopting a child that it won't be an easy road.

But there are also others that come into it expecting, sometimes, subconsciously, to receive some sort of gratitude from the child. They often figure that even if they have issues, they will still behave like children. There are also an overwhelming amount of them that think love will solve anything.

What they get is a child that is incapable of giving gratitude, does not know how to communicate in any way besides manipulation, and don't even know how to accept love, let alone give it.

And they don't know how to deal with it, or how to let the child go, taking on the sense of failure and financial loss that comes with relinquishment.
 
Thank you Linda and Notmykid for sharing your experiences so honestly. It really does help those of us who don't know or understand this situation first hand. I appreciate your candor immensely.
 
I don't think adoptive parents expect perfect children.

Must admit, I did read quite a few ads where, if the adoptive parents were being honest, i font understand why they'd want to relinquish the child. I doubt those ads were honest.


Imagine it this way....

People in this country frown on and don't understand arranged marriages, imagine being matched with a person from another country, background, language and with tons of baggage ..... And society fully expects you to honor that marriage for eternity regardless if your new spouse hates you, beats you, spits in your face daily, destroys your home, kills your pets, threatens to kill you, your other children, And society offers you no hope, no help, no respite, not enough therapy...you are stuck, forever. What if you have children and your new spouse does the same and worse to them???

I think in your analogy, it's the child who is being put into the arranged marriage. Someone is taking a child out of his/her country, the child doesn't know the language, it's a completely foreign environment for the child, they are removed from everything they know, including friends, and adoptive parents are expecting gratitude and perfect behavior.
 
I think in your analogy, it's the child who is being put into the arranged marriage. Someone is taking a child out of his/her country, the child doesn't know the language, it's a completely foreign environment for the child, they are removed from everything they know, including friends, and adoptive parents are expecting gratitude and perfect behavior.

I think you're right to a point about the child being removed from e writhing they've ever known. I'm sure there are a few parents that expect gratitude and perfect children they've seen in Rockwell paintings. I'd bet they were very rare.

It seems you really have no idea what living with a sadistic psychopathic sexual predator is like, Ii do. or like many many others with children with full blown RAD, we are not talking about mild attachment issues, ADHD, or developmental delays here.
I'd agree many prospective adoptive parents believe love and a little therapy will be enough. It isn't.
Considering many of those parents are indeed blatantly lied to...
It's a recipe for disaster!

It's kinda amazing that more children don't end up dead and more adoptive parents in prison.
 
I agree with Jenny. International adoption is expensive and time consuming. DOnt the parents spend time with this child in most cases? Visits abroad? BUt I can understand how in that situation one can be deceived but I cannot believe people are that niave in thinking love and therapy can be enough.

As for domestic adoptions I really have little sympathy. My sister adopted 3 kids and the process took over a year here in texas. There were tons of home visits and adjustments. So I'm sure if a child has behavioral issues they would manifest. Nothing is 100 percent, but it seems to me some of these parents do consider these kids as an accessory, ego boost, or fulfilling some emotional need that therapy should fill instead of a child. That goes for natural parents too!!!
 
I agree with Jenny. International adoption is expensive and time consuming. DOnt the parents spend time with this child in most cases? Visits abroad? BUt I can understand how in that situation one can be deceived but I cannot believe people are that niave in thinking love and therapy can be enough.

As for domestic adoptions I really have little sympathy. My sister adopted 3 kids and the process took over a year here in texas. There were tons of home visits and adjustments. So I'm sure if a child has behavioral issues they would manifest. Nothing is 100 percent, but it seems to me some of these parents do consider these kids as an accessory, ego boost, or fulfilling some emotional need that therapy should fill instead of a child. That goes for natural parents too!!!

The child in my domestic case was in my home a grand total of 7 months. Six months prior to finalization and one month after. He presented like a loving thoughtful boy. in reality he was cunning, sadistic, as well as a psychopathic criminal. When caught, he bargained for the confession he gave. He wanted the new comforter and pillows I bought him ...brought to him, in detention, in exchange for giving a full confession to law enforcement. It was chilling. The detective was shaken to the core at his acts and lack of empathy, even mimicking his victims.

Just because you can't comprehend it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It does.

I wasn't some naive "do gooder" looking to stroke my ego. I was a level three therapeutic foster parent for teenage girls for nine years prior and at that point in time has been licensed clinical social worker specializing in child sexual abuse cases for ten. I had only once before crossed paths with a child as depraved and downright evil.
Every single agency involved in my adoption either didn't bother to do the job they were paid to or they intentionally lied. That's been proven and they paid dearly for it. Hopefully, all involved will think twice before doing it again!
Hopefully, you or yours won't ever cross paths with one.



IMO what I've seen is sometimes after years of failed fertility treatments couples are so wanting and longing to be a parent, they are easily duped. Bait and switch is very common in international adoptions.... The child they interacted with and spent time with is not the child they come home with.
There are also often blatant lies in paperwork offered.
 
Well, I guess it's a good thing Russia banned all the adoptions to US, since apparently we have to save all these adult people from themselves.
 
Well, I guess it's a good thing Russia banned all the adoptions to US, since apparently we have to save all these adult people from themselves.

That's not really fair either. The vast majority of adoptions are wonderful for the child as well as the adopting parent/parents.

IMO there needs to be a safety net. There needs to be real & meaningful specialized therapeutic long term interventions if necessary. Respite for when things become overwhelming both for the parents and the child.



Agencies need to be held accountable for lies or not doing their due diligence in gathering all available information and providing it to perspective adoptive parents. Alaska is doing a fantastic job and should serve as an example.
 
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2007/12/08/when-adoption-goes-wrong.html

When Sterkel, a nurse, first started working with international adoptees in the early '90s, she didn't see many deeply troubled children. But 10 years ago she adopted two Russian boys whose American parents had given up on them. One of them, a 14-year-old boy, had just been released from a juvenile-detention center after trying to poison his mother. Over time, Sterkel was approached so often about adopting other children that she decided to open her camp. Today it houses 25 to 30 kids from all over the country, and has a waiting list. The overwhelming majority are from Russia, Romania and Bulgaria, but she also has had children from South Korea and Colombia. Some were bullied or raped while institutionalized or were the children of prostitutes, drug addicts or alcoholics. "I have gotten calls from parents who say the child they adopted has killed the family dog, threatened to kill them, and no one will help them," she says.


More at link
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting...s-international-adoptions/t/story?id=10360247

this might appear to be a little of topic, but I will try and tie it in, as I see it as connected.

I spent some time in Russia way back in '93 just after the fall of communism. while there, I visited a number of orphanages. at that time, there were many. MANY. the kids all had severe issues ranging from physical to severe emotional issues. very very troubled children. these orphanages were packed with tons of kids and very little care being given. babies were left in cribs for days on end never being held or interacted with. the ages ranged from babies to teenagers. it seemed to be an epidemic in my eyes.

on top of that, at that time, the amount of kids living on the streets doing drugs and prostitution was alarming to me. I even met a little 9-10yr old girl who lived on the streets doing drugs and prostituting.

all of these kids were products of drugs, alcohol, poverty, abuse and so on. throw aways, run aways.....truly the worst things you could imagine these kids had been through.

the images and encounters i had are implanted in my head forever.

it is no wonder that people adopting kids from overseas, especially in places like Russia, are having much trouble in raising kids in which they had virtually no history on nor the knowledge of the issues coming with the child. I really am not so sure that the situation in Russia in regards to orphaned children has changed...but I do know they do NOT trust Americas w/ their orphaned kids anymore. but parents blindly adopting these children with NOTHING set in place in case something goes wrong is just further harming these kids who need professional help.

not only that, adopting kids from overseas seems like the prime opportunity for pedophiles too. it sickens me. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...dreds-images-horrific-sex-abuse-internet.html

and re-homing sounds like an abuser/pedophile's dream come true. I believe this is a huge source of where child *advertiser censored* may be coming from. I mean don't we all wonder - WHO are these kids and WHERE are they and WHO has them??? they are probably all being moved around the country from abuser to abuser. no oversight. no legit paperwork. nobody caring for them.

ugh. this issue is new to me and its hitting me hard.
 
I dread to think of the kind of emotional and physiological damage done to children in Romanian 'orphanages' (child warehouses...), refugee camps, and the like.

I have done quite a bit of research on the Romanian situation. I was not at all surprised to see that girl in a thread here a while back, who was locked up for extreme cruelty to animals and being a 'psychopath' (she was due out soon, was the issue) had been adopted from one of these Romanian concentration camps for kids.

She cannot help the way she is. There is little hope for her ever being healthy and able to adjust to a normal life. The damage was done in infancy and the early development stages of childhood, to her brain, and that is now how she is 'wired'. This is not unusual for children who are institutionalised in such places from a very young age. She's just lucky she didn't emerge from it with AIDs as well.

Point being, I don't think the average family is in any way equipped to deal with these severely damaged children. And there untold thousands of them.... a few of whom might survive into adulthood.

Think about that. Those kids, whose brains are fundamentally wired to sociopathy and psychopathy, who have missed every single developmental moment of import a child can need, are GOING to grow up and interact with the rest of society.

And these are the kids being adopted by our affluent nations, who no-one can handle.

The problem of what to do with these kids, the Romanian warehouse kids, the rescued Somalian child soldiers, the survivors of the third world brothels and garbage dumps and refugee camps, NEEDS TO BE a global concern, and in the hands of the UN as a major priority. Billions of dollars need to go toward housing and care facilities and staff training in third world institutions, therapy, training for foster and adoptive families, and hammer-and-tongs prosecution of the scum who are using these children as livestock for the child sex trade.

This is what we could do for these children, and the least, the base line, of what needs to be done. Because the world doesn't need any more sociopaths in it. But mostly because they are nobody's children and therefore they belong to us all.

very good post. I already responded in regards to this, but I spent time in some Russian orphanages just after the fall of communism and am still disturbed to this day over the condition of these kids who unless die early become adult members of society and victims of those who take advantage. they are not normal healthy functioning people. it is seriously an epidemic and not enough people give a sh.t about it to fix it.
 
This expose/series of articles came up in the thread for Erica Lynn Parsons. I find it very disturbing that this actually goes on in our society, and thought it deserves its own thread.

Reuters Investigates - The Child Exchange - Inside America's underground market for adopted children.
http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

When a Liberian girl proves too much for her parents, they advertise her online and give her to a couple they’ve never met. Days later, she goes missing.

The articles introduce us to Nicole Eason and Calvin Eason, a couple who has been very actively involved with "obtaining" children through re-homing adopted children over the years. Not in a good way.

Here are two links to articles about where the couple is now living:
http://azstarnet.com/news/local/ste...cle_bf531430-bd76-58e0-80a0-9067f1a9ddf7.html

http://azstarnet.com/news/local/col...cle_b2c3a385-ca94-549f-8e8d-0b2dfe078d8b.html

The person that is participating in the comments to this article is the same Nicole.

Cross linking to Erica's thread... NC NC - Erica Lynn Parsons, 13, Rowan County, 19 Nov 2011 - #5 - *ENDANGERED* - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community



(Mods - I tried to do a search to see if this already had a thread, but didn't find anything. If there is already a thread on this please delete or merge.)
 

Members online

Online statistics

Members online
55
Guests online
2,072
Total visitors
2,127

Forum statistics

Threads
590,011
Messages
17,928,954
Members
228,038
Latest member
shmoozie
Back
Top