Angels or savages - who would have children?

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by sherri79, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=476669&in_page_id=1879
    A new book is causing a storm of controversy by labelling children as annoying and pointless - a charge made all the more inflammatory by the fact that its author is a mother. Entitled No Kid: 40 Reasons Not To Have Children, Corinne Maier's book has sparked fury in France, where it was published.


    Here, Corinne argues her "no kid" case while another mum, Ursula Hirschkorn, stands firm for parenthood.


    just a little of what she has to say on the subject. much more @ link.

    the other side.

     
  2. Loading...


  3. Taximom

    Taximom Former Member

    Messages:
    16,234
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Am I terrible for feeling all of that at some point in my life?! :D Overall I'm quite happy being a mom, but there have been times when I wondered why I thought having children, 4 no less, was a great idea.

    Then they give me one of those unexpected hugs and I get over it.

    I seriously miss time alone with my husband more than anything.

    I'm sure someone will come along and bash me for this! Oh well.
     
  4. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

    Messages:
    16,021
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Good Lord, TaxiMom - you're not terrible to me. I was sitting here thinking how to post my true feelings on the subject without sounding like I hate my children!

    Everything that woman said has been true for me too, at one time or another. I adore my children and would take a bullet for them without thinking twice, but I still have to work daily on accepting how much my life has changed - and not all for the better! - since having them. Raising children is very very hard for me.

    I praise anyone who has children and commits to raising them and I praise anyone who chooses not to have children for all the reasons - and others - that this author outlines!
     
  5. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    any mom who has never felt a little overwhelmed/tired/stressed or the like is either crazy or just a liar. potty training, no sleep, no sex, teething, colic, learning the word no, learning to bite...all of that and they have not even started school.

    the big deal over this book is mom A says kids are not worth the trouble. mom B says in spite of the trouble kids are worth it.
     
  6. Taximom

    Taximom Former Member

    Messages:
    16,234
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I think we've seen a lot of Mom (and Dad) A's here in the crime section, eh?
     
  7. SadieMae

    SadieMae Former Member

    Messages:
    4,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No bashing from me Taximon. I think we all feel that at one point or another. I know there have been times I wonder, "what was I thinking" when I had kids. But overall, I wouldn't change the fact I have kids!!!! The joys of being a Mom far outweight my bad moments. Having kids is life changing...but it's a part of life. My mother used to say a husband may not always be your husband, but your kids are yours for life. I put more importance on being a Mom first.
     
  8. Mira

    Mira Country Girl

    Messages:
    939
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    every person is different. every woman is different. some get 'baby hunger'. some, like myself, never wanted children. i love my girlfriend's kids, my cousins kids, and they love me back.

    i just know i would go mad if i had children 24/7. im too selfish, and i know it.
     
  9. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

    Messages:
    16,021
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    To many people, kids are not worth the trouble. That's a completely fair and true statement.

    To many people, kids are worth the trouble. That too is a completely fair and true statement.
     
  10. Taximom

    Taximom Former Member

    Messages:
    16,234
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Without reading the book, I'm guessing that Mom A doesn't get what we get?

    (LOL I like that "Taximon" nick. Yeah, I'm in Jamaica right now....)
     
  11. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    very true. i really think some people should not have kids. when someone tells me they never want kids i dont try to change their minds and tell them what they are missing. if you kid crawling in you lap and looking at you and saying i love you mom does not make up for him getting sick 2 minutes before hubby and you had planned to play doctor you should not have kids. god knows i resent my kids sometimes. like when i tried to potty train my son and he pooped all over my bed including my pillows... i put him on the potty and went to strip the bed. when i heard water in the bathroom. i run back in and there are poopy hand swipes on the walls,floor, mirror, and all over the sink. i grab him and put him in the tub and he screams because it is to cold. it took strength i did not know i had to take him out and calmly warm the water wash him then clean the room and the tub and clean my room with out calling him words i would regret. unlike mom A i think it was worth it.
     
  12. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

    Messages:
    16,021
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'll do a final post to this thread from my deathbed and tell y'all if it was worth it!!! ;)
     
  13. Taximom

    Taximom Former Member

    Messages:
    16,234
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I know what you mean. I've had to pray a lot for patience because it's taken (so far) about 5 years to potty train our disabled one. We started calling them pooh parties with our youngest.

    She just didn't get that poop is NOT playdough. :waitasec: Thank goodness we've moved past that for the most part.

    I wonder what Mom A would do in that situation. No, maybe I don't.
     
  14. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    lol!

    i got my proof it was worth it the next day.my hubby knew how stressed and tired i was so he offered to let me nap while he watched the kids. when i woke i asked how it went. he said great except your son seemed to enjoy showing his @$$.... i said great what did he do... my hubby said "i just told you. he pulled down his pants and ran backwards chasing his sister saying "see my butt ,see my butt"while she screamed" the laugh made it worth it for me right then.
     
  15. KrisNine

    KrisNine New Member

    Messages:
    1,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You're funny!! :crazy:
     
  16. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i have heard it said that disabled kids give parents more grief and more joy than they could ever imagine. i hate to think how mom A would treat 1. her kids are older and she seems ok with the idea of them knowing what she says in the book.

     
  17. Autumn2004

    Autumn2004 Inactive

    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    As much as I love being a mom I do get overwhelmed and stressed also, I believe everyone does. My relationship has definitely changed with my husband, not badly but different. Limited sex is frustrating but thankfully its really fun when we do it:innocent: I wouldnt change having her (having 1 does make a difference as to having many I believe) especially if you are dealing with adhd, autism, personality disorders or health problems. I love and appreciate my husband more how he is with our daughter. It makes me more committed to him and since I know no one else would be that way with her.

    I dont think there is anything wrong with choosing not to have children, it is tiring and you have to give more than you have and have more stamina sometimes than you would have thought possible along with a great deal of patience.

    You have to do what is right for you, after all your the one who will get the sleepless nights, temper tantrums, whining, embarassing tantrums in stores, selfishness, hormonal rages. But you also get the love, smiles, experience all the fun things that a childs imagination and spark from seeing something for the first time. I love being able to run in the park with kites and blow bubbles, read fairy tales, play princess tea parties with our crowns, watching cartoons in bed with popcorn and all the fun things I would feel silly doing as an adult by myself.

    There is a tradeoff to both of them you just have to figure out which one you want.
     
  18. SadieMae

    SadieMae Former Member

    Messages:
    4,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    There is nothing wrong with your decision...it's the right one for YOU. But far too often, women give in to having children for all the wrong reasons, and some have them just because they can. They don't put forth the comittment it takes to raise them and we read about those kids all the time here. :(
     
  19. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

    Messages:
    16,021
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Of course, some things just melt you - watching my kids sleep, being kind to each other, laughing - those things can bring me to tears instantly or make me feel unexplainable joy.

    Still - as we all know - there are the minutes, hours, days when it's just so darned hard!

    As for the angels or savages question? Savages, absolutely. The Lord of the Flies was spot on, IMHO. It's our job to tame them with love. We wouldn't have that job if they arrived as little angels - they'd be tame already and I've never met one who was!
     
  20. Rino

    Rino Former Member

    Messages:
    3,537
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The first woman sounds like a sex starved nymph. :eek:
    Having had so few of the troubles she cries over, I think I'll keep the kids
     
  21. sherri79

    sherri79 Former Member

    Messages:
    3,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i love your post. you are 100% right that there is nothing wrong with not having kids. my problem with mom A is she has them.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice