Anthony Bourdain, 61, Tv Chef And Travel Host, Found Dead, Suicide

flourish

Now With 30% More Emo
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
6,394
Reaction score
6,727
Vedder - There are many ways of dealing with depression as there is likely hundreds of reasons as to why people feel depressed. I don't understand why people get depression and it baffles me that you find another person giving her opinion so shocking, do you happen to understand all the issues experienced in this world by people? I definitely don't. I have actually said those exact same words I wrote in my earlier post to one of my three best friends, C. and her initial reaction was exactly the same as yours, she was truly shocked, especially when I added to my words "So you think the solution is spending the rest of your life wallowing in self-pity, spending lots of cash in psychologists who are scamming you and popping in pills into your mouth?"

What is radically different is the outcome. Your words seem to imply that by saying that to someone suffering from anxiety, depression or having suicidal thoughts I would be harming them. Again let me remind you that every person is an individual and hence their way of dealing with depression can be totally different. Some take the defeating way "I will suffer from depression the rest of my life, there is nothing I can do to fight this", others will take the positive resilient approach -organizations such as The Blurt Foundation in the UK are a wonderful example of this and by the way I was a volunteer there for 5 years and in my interview for the volunteer position I expressed my opinion and they did not have any issues with it; in fact they appreciated my honesty- and others sadly will be taken advantage of by people selling pills, "self-help retreats", religious sects and the likes.

After a lot of convincing -months really- my friend C. agreed to come with me once to the place in Glasgow I used to volunteer for three evenings per week -I was living in Edinburgh at the time. I had told her that seeing what other people go through in life would make her put her own problems into perspective and realize that it did not make any sense to waste a single day of her life with this depression and feeling sorry for herself.

I volunteered in a centre in Glasgow for African women who have survived gang-rapes and mutilation. The way they dealt with the emotional scarring caused by these horrific events was inspiring to say the least, especially their attitude and will to never fall into depression.
My friend spent about 5 hours going around having chats with the women in the centre on a one-on-one basis. We took the bus back to Edinburgh and she did not say a single word, just pensive.

Next day she announced on FB she was taking a break for hiking in the Lake District, switched off her phone and off she went for three weeks. During those 3 weeks I got the same type of speech from friends in common that I guess I had got from someone like you "Look what you have done, Yurena! she is probably going to kill herself and it is all your fault, you lack empathy", "You are a horrible person" etc etc etc. Those 3 weeks I spent feeling 100% positive she was doing OK and there was nothing to worry about.

When she came back she told me that visit to the Glasgow centre made her hear a "click" in her head and think "Sooo what is actually I am feeling depressed about?" . Listening to those women made her realize how stupid it was that she had wasted so much time of her life due to depression and her problems -health, a heartbreak and an issue that has to do with her family being biracial and all the racism/discrimination etc they have endured in the UK because of that- felt tiny in comparison and for the first time in years at least issues she felt she could handle and control rather than letting them control her life.

She is still one of my best friends -in case you are wondering- and always tell me she wishes someone years and years ago would have taken the approach I took with her, rather than just "feeding" her self-pity. She stopped going to the psychologist, the pills -it caused her insomnia for a few months, it took her some time to adjust as they had her heavily medicated, like a zombie- and joined a choir and started going to Zumba lessons. In other words: she started to live.
She now has a boyfriend and is working as a lecturer at a British university.
I am proud of her that she did not stop in the "Oh! I am so shocked you say that" but took the courage to tackle her depression full on.

I wish you could meet one day one of my pen pals from Zambia -she moved to Sweden three years ago. She has an interesting theory as to why in the Western world there are so many cases of depression. I guess you would feel shocked by hearing her words or my mum's words who went through horrible things in her earlier life -including witnessing the death of her best friend due to gangrene when she was 7- and when I was little and the neighbours often asked her "I don't understand how you are not depressed after the harsh life you have had". She always answered the same "I am just too busy to fall into depression. I have a child to feed so my head is occupied trying to find pragmatic solutions, not busy with silliness".

Resilience, understanding that life is just once so there is no time to waste and learn from those who have gone through stuff we in the Western world are lucky enough to only watch in horror movies. Inspiring people with real problems.

That is my piece of advice to people like you. And a bit of tolerance towards differing opinions would not do you any harm either.


This post implies one can will themselves out of depression. Sigh. That is so damaging--and the assumption that people with depression are just wallowing in self pity with no awareness that their problems aren't "real." Wow. Thanks, you've just solved lifelong depression by telling me I'm being selfish. I'm gonna go tell my friend she could stop her leg from being broken if she could just realize how beautiful unbroken legs are and that others have been in worse car accidents and not broken their legs--that'll fix her and stop her silliness. SMH
 

sorrell skye

Former Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
6,684
Reaction score
7,003
@yurena Clinical depression is not a choice. It's a nightmarish affliction that those of us who suffer from it wish we could escape.

As I stated in a prior post: I read your words. They are not encouraging. Nor are they inspiring.

Weaponizing anecdotal success stories does not foster healing in those who seek wholeness.

I will look for my support and inspiration from those who offer Love. I'm so grateful to those who walk in Love, for they give me strength and courage.

Thank You to my friends who offer support in my time of need. I Love You.
 

human

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2009
Messages
23,614
Reaction score
27,990
I agree that situational depression can be addressed as the OP has outlined. Lots of good ideas there.

But clinical depression is a diffrent thing entirely. It is,an imbalance. Just like any other issues in the body that cannot be cured by will alone.

Maybe someday we will understand how to imfluence our cells, but we are not there yet.
 

sorrell skye

Former Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
6,684
Reaction score
7,003
I agree that situational depression can be addressed as the OP has outlined. Lots of good ideas there.

But clinical depression is a diffrent thing entirely. It is,an imbalance. Just like any other issues in the body that cannot be cured by will alone.

Maybe someday we will understand how to imfluence our cells, but we are not there yet.

Hi Human. You are my dear friend, and I'm deeply grateful for your support.

Regardless of whether or not it is situational depression or clinical depression (and sometimes it's both), if we don't respond with love and compassion, then we are failing to successfully build a bridge toward healing.
 

sorrell skye

Former Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
6,684
Reaction score
7,003
@yurena I'm sorry if I haven't understood your words. If I have misunderstood you, I ask you to forgive me.
At the same time, I forgive you if you haven't fully understood my perspective.

I strive to understand your perspective. I believe you want to help.

Let us be friends.
 

Alethea

Verified Attorney
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
4,724
Reaction score
74,355
Resilience, understanding that life is just once so there is no time to waste and learn from those who have gone through stuff we in the Western world are lucky enough to only watch in horror movies. Inspiring people with real problems.

That is my piece of advice to people like you. And a bit of tolerance towards differing opinions would not do you any harm either.

Yurena, I say this with a lot of compassion. You should really research the biological and neurological causes of psychiatric disorders. A person can dedicate their life to helping the poorest of the poor and still have serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake malfunctions in their nervous system that render them deeply clinically depressed, among other mental illness. A person can have everything and fully understand how fortunate they are and still suffer from these actual chemical imbalances that manifest as depression or anxiety. It is naive and even cruel to think people with depression are just feeling sorry for themselves.
 
Last edited:

sorrell skye

Former Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
6,684
Reaction score
7,003
Two weeks ago, I seriously wanted to end my life. I didn't want to be in this world any longer. One of the reasons was because I felt completely hopeless and I felt like I had failed to achieve some of my career goals.

One of the other reasons was because I (mistakenly) believed I was living on a planet bereft of love.

There are other reasons (related to unresolved past trauma) that I won't share here, but will only share with my partner and my therapist.

Here's the thing: When I cried out for help to my friends here, I received so much love from you that I will never be the same again.

This amazing gift of Love. Wow! What can I say?

What can I say, other than Thank You to all of you who reached out to me with Love.

This gift of Love has compelled me to reach out to others with love, because Love saved my life. Your incredible love has taught me to always try to love, to always try to approach a situation from the perspective of love.

I may not always succeed, but I will try.

I'm sorry to anyone here who I may have hurt. Please forgive me for any hurtful words I may have written.
 

human

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2009
Messages
23,614
Reaction score
27,990
sorrell I am so very surprised because you are a person I always thought of as wise and intellectually way aboe average. You always have an insight on things that is so , well, insightful.

I am sure you make a difference in so many lives in real life as you do on the real life on WS.

You have touched my life and who knows how many others that you have given a spark of life to. You may never know. You make a difference. Never ever forget that
 

sorrell skye

Former Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
6,684
Reaction score
7,003
Well, this thread isn't about me. It's about Anthony Bourdain.

I only revealed what I did so that others might be made aware that depression can afflict any one of us, regardless of our lot in life, regardless of our success.

The interesting thing is: I alluded to my depression in the Kate Spade thread, but no one picked up on it.

That's how easy it is to overlook the signs, when one wants to believe that someone 'has it together'.
 

Vedder

John 3:16
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
1,333
Reaction score
2,204
Resilience, understanding that life is just once so there is no time to waste and learn from those who have gone through stuff we in the Western world are lucky enough to only watch in horror movies. Inspiring people with real problems.

That is my piece of advice to people like you. And a bit of tolerance towards differing opinions would not do you any harm either.
Snipped

Depression is a real problem. It is not self pity. Have you ever suffered from clinical depression? Debilitating anxiety to the point you cannot leave your house?

If only we could snap out of it and decide we don’t have time to waste with such silliness.

I think I’ll advise my friend to throw away her son’s epi pen and feed him a bag of peanuts.

I have PLENTY of tolerance for differing opinions. However this subject is something I live with every single day. I don’t want pity. I don’t want a pat on the head. I want Zoloft so I can function and have a life.

Depression is real. Anxiety is real.

I will not debate this subject nor will I try to change anyone’s mind.

God bless.
 

Really?

South Jersey USA
Joined
Jul 28, 2012
Messages
4,846
Reaction score
4,434
Yeah, Anthony’s suicide really put downer on this whole summer.......

June 8th onward...
Kate Spade was a shock as well as she was a jeordy answer the the night before her death ( I got it right)
 

Seattle1

#LiveLikeLizzy
Joined
Feb 25, 2013
Messages
27,203
Reaction score
298,734
$380,000 payment to child star who says she assaulted him when he was 17 because deal was arranged by ex Anthony Bourdain before he died'
  • Italian actress was accused by actor Jimmy Bennett of sexual assault
  • Bennett claims Argento assaulted him when he was a minor
  • Argento's lawyer denies the allegation and says relationship was never sexual
  • Lawyer says Bennett has so far received $250,000 from the original settlement
  • Argento's attorney says actress is halting payment of the balance - $130,000
  • The lawyer, Mark Jay Heller, hints Argento is victim of smear campaign
  • Argento was one of the first to accuse Harvey Weinstein of raping her
By CHRIS SPARGO and CHRIS PLEASANCE and ARIEL ZILBER FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
PUBLISHED: 20:18 EDT, 4 September 2018 |
UPDATED: 21:45 EDT, 4 September 2018

....Heller acknowledges that Bennett and Bourdain entered into an arrangement for a $380,000 settlement. The lawyer says Bourdain wanted to protect Argento.

‘Now that Mr. Bourdain has passed away and is not able to comment on his desire to avoid potential scandal … Asia will not permit any portion of the balance of the $380,000 payment to be paid to Bennett who has already received $250,000 from Anthony Bourdain,’ Heller says. ....
Asia Argento 'halts remainder of $380,000 payment to child star who says she assaulted him' | Daily Mail Online
 

R.U.Kidding!

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2011
Messages
1,106
Reaction score
1,146
This is beyond me. I have never understood people who commit suicide or people who suffer from depression, anxiety etc. Life is just wonderful, no matter how many horrible circumstances one has to go through, and I am not able to grasp why anyone would not see that.

Hi yurena,

Your first sentence was Your reaction to Depression. Many people do no understand depression--I get it!
Your Definitive" Life is just wonderful " is what jumped out I me. Have to say I was shocked someone could make that statement in the context of the post people have made regarding their depression or their understanding of that dark place .

IMO- What I found to be so shocking is IF one does not understand depression and suicidal thoughts, then one should Not make the Statement that Life is Wonderful. That is your opinion on something you know Nothing about. So it is a statement made out of ignorance and I surely can see why this would be offensive, especially for those that actually do have the understanding , knowledge and
experience.

Respectfully I hope you can understand , at least my point of view
RUK
 

R.U.Kidding!

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2011
Messages
1,106
Reaction score
1,146
I feel so bad. No Asia did not kill AB , but she sure was a major contributing factor in his death. The publicity, when this news broke, and he knew it would, would of been devastating personally as well as very damaging to his career. For a man who was always on the edge this just pushed him over.
Her life is mired in controversy....but when you have a father who's claim to fame is the movie Susperia, no wonder she is F---- up
Someone posted that he culpable in this incident Gave the impression he was not to felt sorry for and I disagree with that line of thinking. I believe he believed he was black mailing an innocent Asia love can be blind sometimes. He found the truth right before he took his life, so I join in saying RIP AB, I am happy he did not live to see this play out.
 

rosemadderlake

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
3,392
Reaction score
6,356
Watching AB with ER in Peru tonight. I can barely watch it without crying.

CNN has a couple of beautiful promos for AB's last episodes. And I fold in tears.

Gosh, I'm missing this man. His voice, his take, his cynicism and his willingness in all adventures.

Truly, a darling, and he shall be missed.
 

Masterj

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2005
Messages
2,860
Reaction score
53
I feel so bad. No Asia did not kill AB , but she sure was a major contributing factor in his death. The publicity, when this news broke, and he knew it would, would of been devastating personally as well as very damaging to his career. For a man who was always on the edge this just pushed him over.
Her life is mired in controversy....but when you have a father who's claim to fame is the movie Susperia, no wonder she is F---- up
Someone posted that he culpable in this incident Gave the impression he was not to felt sorry for and I disagree with that line of thinking. I believe he believed he was black mailing an innocent Asia love can be blind sometimes. He found the truth right before he took his life, so I join in saying RIP AB, I am happy he did not live to see this play out.

This is ludicrous. The facts are we have no idea what Anthony knew or didn’t know. He alone is responsible for his death - not Asia or anyone else. I’m not an Asia fan but it is shocking and horrifying to me the lengths people are going to villianize her for a decision that he made. He admitted to his struggles with depression and drugs and yet people refuse to take his own words at face value. He was mentally ill and self medicated bottom line.
 

Seattle1

#LiveLikeLizzy
Joined
Feb 25, 2013
Messages
27,203
Reaction score
298,734
Anthony Bourdain wins SIX Emmys, three months after he committed suicide while filming Parts Unknown in France
  • Late celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain won six posthumous Emmys on Sunday
  • Parts Unknown won best writing for non-fiction program, sound editing for a non-fiction program and sound mixing for a non-fiction program
  • The show was recognized for best picture editing for a non-fiction program, informational series or special and short-form non-fiction or reality
  • The beloved food and travel series first aired in 2013. It is set to return to CNN for a final series late this fall
The late American chef and travel documentarian's CNN show won best writing for a non-fiction program, sound editing for a non-fiction program, sound mixing for a non-fiction program, picture editing for a non-fiction program and informational series or special. Explore Parts Unknown also scored best short-form non-fiction or reality.

The popular Parts Unknown previously won the Emmy for outstanding informational series or special award for four consecutive years - in 2016, 2015, 2014 and 2013.

A colleague who spoke on Bourdain's behalf said while accepting the awards at the Creative Arts Emmys: 'For me and for all the folks that have worked for him in the last 20 years, I want to say his writing was always fiercely intelligent, real, no .

Anthony Bourdain wins six posthumous Emmy Awards for Parts Unknown | Daily Mail Online
 
Top