Identified! AR - El Dorado, Whitehall Motel, WhtFem 18-21, 81UFAR, Jul'91 #4 - Kelly from VA

coco

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Now that the initial surprise is over (for me) I’m finding the write up even more strange than I initially thought. I don’t think ANYONE has the right to write in first person of a deceased person who’s thoughts and feelings on certain things really can’t be known, I’m really shocked this has been done.
JMHO MOO
 

Alleykins

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Now that the initial surprise is over (for me) I’m finding the write up even more strange than I initially thought. I don’t think ANYONE has the right to write in first person of a deceased person who’s thoughts and feelings on certain things really can’t be known, I’m really shocked this has been done.
JMHO MOO
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this. I agree 100%, but thought it was just me who felt this way. My reaction was immediate. I was appalled.
While I was appreciative of the information, I found using the first person narrative in poor taste, unprofessional, and presumptive on behalf of the author. It read like fan-fiction, as someone mentioned earlier, trivializing all Kelly had been through. The author made a lot of assumptions about what she may have been thinking, turning her life story into theatrics. Her signing off as Kelly bothered me most.
What also bothered me was the EDPD sanctioned the release of Kelly's identificaiton in this manner instead of a news article. They had to have given the go-ahead for the release of information, because they shared the blog—which some readers mistook as a news article because they didn't know any better.
Again, thank you. My opinion may be a lot stronger, but I'm relieved to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. Kelly deserved something more dignified, IMHO.
 

coco

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this. I agree 100%, but thought it was just me who felt this way. My reaction was immediate. I was appalled.
While I was appreciative of the information, I found using the first person narrative in poor taste, unprofessional, and presumptive on behalf of the author. It read like fan-fiction, as someone mentioned earlier, trivializing all Kelly had been through. The author made a lot of assumptions about what she may have been thinking, turning her life story into theatrics. Her signing off as Kelly bothered me most.
What also bothered me was the EDPD sanctioned the release of Kelly's identificaiton in this manner instead of a news article. They had to have given the go-ahead for the release of information, because they shared the blog—which some readers mistook as a news article because they didn't know any better.
Again, thank you. My opinion may be a lot stronger, but I'm relieved to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. Kelly deserved something more dignified, IMHO.
Actually you have worded everything I’m feeling perfectly, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets..I’m just absolutely shocked and appalled to say the least..wowww
 

ntt1

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I cannot understand why they go so far as to mention her mothers name, locations and other very personal stuff, but are holding off on the last name? Why did we , the general public, need to know about her mothers terminations and criminal record to name a couple of things? The entire thing just feels off.
They probably should have left out a bit more if privacy was their intention... Virginia has some of the best records available for genealogy, and I was able to find the name and exact same photo provided on the memorial page in Ancestry's yearbook collections.

I don't really feel strongly either way about how it was told, but knowing the story of her upbringing does provide some powerful context, I feel. What a very unfortunate and traumatic upbringing, which really goes to show the wide-reaching effects of addiction.
 

coco

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Probably because there may be an official release of her name in due time, anyway. And her genealogy and family names are so well known that it probably would not take long to find out. It looks like her bio parents were related, as well
Where they closely related?
 

carbuff

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Right? This isn't "Kelly's" story, it's her mother's.

After thinking about it, I think I agree with you. There's almost nothing about what she was doing in the times she wasn't with her mother, and while they might not have much information about the gaps, surely they could have included some information.

Though I guess that probably makes an accurate picture of a girl whose life was ruined by a domineering narcissist...
 

UnlicensedPI

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After thinking about it, I think I agree with you. There's almost nothing about what she was doing in the times she wasn't with her mother, and while they might not have much information about the gaps, surely they could have included some information.

Though I guess that probably makes an accurate picture of a girl whose life was ruined by a domineering narcissist...
You expressed what I was trying to say better than I did in my original comment. It's chock full of information about her mother's relationships, pregnancies, drug addiction, flightiness, criminal record, etc. Meanwhile, it barely glosses over JD's own criminal behavior, addiction, or spiral into the lifestyle which resulted in her murder. It's like, "Mom this, mom that, by the way I went to rehab for cocaine and apparently danced and lived in these cities and then my ex-boyfriend shot me to death!" The writeup goes into arguably-too-much detail about her mother's life, but it doesn't even mention her "ex-boyfriend" was actually her pimp, or even that she worked as a prostitute at all. It treats her like a side character in her own story, and her mother as the main character! I don't believe this is the story Kelly would want written about her life and death, and to do so "borrowing" her voice takes some nerve.

Side note -- on this forum, we often talk about the names, stories, and voices of these Does being stolen with their lives. This just isn't the appropriate way to restore them. I'm shocked something like this would come from someone as admired and respected as Yolanda McClary!

Can we get a redo writeup? I'd like to read a version that explores Kelly's life in detail and only contains a few lines about an unstable, drug-addicted mother whose absence and reemergence was, ironically, the only constant in her life.
 

Susikatze

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You expressed what I was trying to say better than I did in my original comment. It's chock full of information about her mother's relationships, pregnancies, drug addiction, flightiness, criminal record, etc. Meanwhile, it barely glosses over JD's own criminal behavior, addiction, or spiral into the lifestyle which resulted in her murder. It's like, "Mom this, mom that, by the way I went to rehab for cocaine and apparently danced and lived in these cities and then my ex-boyfriend shot me to death!" The writeup goes into arguably-too-much detail about her mother's life, but it doesn't even mention her "ex-boyfriend" was actually her pimp, or even that she worked as a prostitute at all. It treats her like a side character in her own story, and her mother as the main character! I don't believe this is the story Kelly would want written about her life and death, and to do so "borrowing" her voice takes some nerve.

Side note -- on this forum, we often talk about the names, stories, and voices of these Does being stolen with their lives. This just isn't the appropriate way to restore them. I'm shocked something like this would come from someone as admired and respected as Yolanda McClary!

Can we get a redo writeup? I'd like to read a version that explores Kelly's life in detail and only contains a few lines about an unstable, drug-addicted mother whose absence and reemergence was, ironically, the only constant in her life.
Maybe because Kelly had such a short life and was not often in touch with relatives aside from mom, many details are missing.
 

Vern

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Probably because there may be an official release of her name in due time, anyway. And her genealogy and family names are so well known that it probably would not take long to find out. It looks like her bio parents were related, as well.
Well, I'm sure her name will come. There is an individual who has been convicted and sentenced to death in her murder. At the very least, I'd think Kelly's true identity would have to be officially appended to his case file for legal purposes and become part of the legal file.

Kelly, you tried your whole life to be the adult in your family by nature. The nurture you received by those who should have raised you made it impossible for you to enjoy your best life. I hope that now that you have been given back your name, and we some explanation of the context of tragedies which played such havoc with you and your stolen childhood, that your dignity is stronger today and that your angel wings are carrying you as high as you wish to fly. Rest well Kelly. Finally. You did not deserve any of this and your perserverance was amazing for one so young.
 
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Suglo

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It is her story, the mother just features prominently in it.
Agreed. I have a feeling this was written by or for her sister and aunts. If they didn’t personally write it, they vetted it. I don’t like to think that they could read here and see some of the negative comments about how her story is told. It’s theirs to tell. We are lucky they agreed to release anything. Rest In Peace Kelly. My condolences to her family.
 

Alleykins

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Agreed. I have a feeling this was written by or for her sister and aunts. If they didn’t personally write it, they vetted it. I don’t like to think that they could read here and see some of the negative comments about how her story is told. It’s theirs to tell. We are lucky they agreed to release anything. Rest In Peace Kelly. My condolences to her family.
What was told in her story and how it was told (the author pretending to be Kelly) are truly two different things. It's one thing to reveal Kelly's information, and as I mentioned, I'm appreciative of it, but it's another to sensationalize it by writing it in the first person point of view, as if Kelly were speaking. You don't find that disrespectful to Kelly at all? For someone to assume what she was thinking and speak for her in such a way? And by pointing that out isn't being negative of Kelly, IMHO, it's a criticism of the author, not of her or the family.
 
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Cubby

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My understanding is , the ladies who spoke out publicly, are Kelly's first cousin on her paternal side, and her daughter, first cousin 1x removed. Her father most likely never knew she existed.

How would her paternal relatives know all of this information about her entire childhood etc? Especially if her father never knew she existed?

I have a problem with how the author is relaying the story. For someone who heard this information second or third hand..... and someone who never walked in Kellys mothers or families shoes..... when pointing a finger there are three pointing back.

I'm glad she has been identified.

Sleep peacefully Kelly.
 
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Cubby

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this. I agree 100%, but thought it was just me who felt this way. My reaction was immediate. I was appalled.
While I was appreciative of the information, I found using the first person narrative in poor taste, unprofessional, and presumptive on behalf of the author. It read like fan-fiction, as someone mentioned earlier, trivializing all Kelly had been through. The author made a lot of assumptions about what she may have been thinking, turning her life story into theatrics. Her signing off as Kelly bothered me most.
What also bothered me was the EDPD sanctioned the release of Kelly's identificaiton in this manner instead of a news article. They had to have given the go-ahead for the release of information, because they shared the blog—which some readers mistook as a news article because they didn't know any better.
Again, thank you. My opinion may be a lot stronger, but I'm relieved to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. Kelly deserved something more dignified, IMHO.

Excellently stated. Thank you for putting into words what I could not.
 
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