AR - Mother Arrested After Severe Injuries To Two Month Old

Discussion in 'Crimes-Spotlight on Children' started by Filly, May 19, 2008.

  1. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    Why do these infants keep on crying? Maybe because they have broken ribs, and a broken clavicle as well as other injuries. Although they probably don't understand the curses hurled at them I have no doubt the tone of their own mother's voice berating them registers.

    Nineteen year old Teiah Wylie is in jail on $10,000 bond after bringing her two month old daughter to the emergency room. Tests showed a number of injuries that were healing indicating this isn't the first time this poor infant was harmed. The father of the child recounts in the link all the horrendous things he heard his infant daughter go through at the hands of her mother with the bad temper. Mind ya daddy never sought help because he was also afraid of momster's temper. Hey, no doubt, but for the love of all things parenting couldn't ya at some point call for help?

    Thankfully after finally confessing to squeezing her infant so hard she broke her ribs and holding the baby's nose until her face turned red Ms. Wylie wrote a letter to her victim apologizing. Honestly, I know the frustration of having an infant whith colic. Doesn't it enter these people's minds that the baby ain't crying for the heck of it, and don't they get that hurting the baby is going to cause for more crying? Again, unfreakinbelievable.

    http://nwanews.com/nwat/News/65305/
     
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  3. MsRusty

    MsRusty New Member

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    Unfortunately these kinds of stories are all too common these days. I don't know what can be done about it. Prevention wise I mean.
     
  4. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    MR, I have no idea how they could go about it, but parenting classes, and therapy and some kind of helping hand for people that are just overwhelmed.

    No way am I excusing anyone of hurting their infant's, but I've posted before how I can see new mom's just getting overwhelmed when they have a baby with colic or some other condition that keeps the baby crying constantly. You already may doubt if you're doing something wrong or the baby just don't like you (which today I'd say I could care less), and I am kidding, but I remember thinking that. "This baby hates me and now what?" Couple that with Pediatrician's who pooh-pooh your claims by telephone and think you're just overworked or something. Then friends who infants sleep 12 hours a day while yours is screaming that same amount of hours I so can see just being overwhelmed.

    However, it doesn't take a genius to know you can never, ever blame that little baby. You can't hold a baby's nose fro cripes sake. Just having one person who would take the baby out of your arms for a half hour while you just even close your eyes works wonders. In this case there's a father in the residence. All that guy had to do was say "I'll take her for a walk or to get air". Yeah, they are young, but there's alot of young parents would have figured it out. Again, I don't want to just say "Oh what a blooming mean, awful mother" because yeah ya get frustrated, but you also wouldn't hurt your infant.

    Too bad someone didn't tell her that when you get to the point you're overwhelmed it's better to put that baby in the crib. Shut the door and go breathe. Maybe they need to make it mandatory for all parents to get some parenting classes before the birth of their first child. Long stretch, but the other side is now there's so many infants physically and emotionally harmed that who knows where they will wind up down the road?
     
  5. MsRusty

    MsRusty New Member

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    I too was thinking of mandatory parenting classes, but I don't think it's possible to enforce such a thing. I think now one only gets mandatory parenting classes when CPS gets involved.
    My firstborn had colic the first 3 months of her life, and I was a very young mother. I'd cry often right along with her, but luckily for me I had the help of my parents. Never once did I think though to harm my daughter.
     
  6. Mr. E

    Mr. E New Member

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    I, too, had a colicky baby (my middle daughter, who is now 12). It can be very overwhelming. My husband was getting his Ph.D at that time, so he was absent a lot. I didn't have much support because my parents lived so far away. However, I had the sense, the instinct, the love for my child -- whatever you want to call it -- to know not to abuse her because of her constant crying. Yes, I cried out of frustration sometimes. And sometimes I had to let her cry when nothing soothed her. But it never crossed my mind to harm her in any way.

    I think people who show themselves to have this type of violence toward children should not be allowed to have children. I just don't know if a few hours of parenting classes would be enough to erase the violent tendencies that are so strong in some people that they would harm an infant or a child.
     
  7. Amraann

    Amraann Former Member

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    I think the father should be charged too. He knew this was going on and did nothing to help this baby.
    What a wimp!! He was afraid?? Spare me!
     
  8. SewingDeb

    SewingDeb "Sorry, I'm not qualified to land the plane."

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    I totally agree! He is as responsible as she is.
     
  9. Mr. E

    Mr. E New Member

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    I agree. It's just as bad to sit back and watch the abuse. By not acting, he condoned her actions.
     
  10. noZme

    noZme Active Member

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    Sorry, I do not think that a few classes in parenting or anger management will cure lashing out & striking others.

    The inability to control oneself is rooted in extreme frustation or a "knee-jerk" auto-response that would take extensive behavior modification. To understand & change is a long term treatment.... & the classes being assigned by child protective services & the courts are a joke..... an expensive, ineffectual joke. Sterilization is both immediate & permanent.
     
  11. MsRusty

    MsRusty New Member

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    I'd agree that sterilization is something some of these women should have done. But that isn't going to happen. I also think that the mandatory CPS classes sometimes are effective on some parents. But it isn't going to help everybody. I'm sure that most of these parents just jump through the hoops CPS puts out for them, and once they comply they get their children back. In other words they learn what to say.
    Again I'll say, I'm not sure what it's going to take for the abuse to stop.
     
  12. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

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    I agree with this.

    Like others have commented, I do understand getting so overwhelmed and frustrated with a young child that you want to lash out aggressivley. I've understood that ever since I had children. It's phenomenal how a tiny child just being a child can push a person over the edge of reason. I think a lot of child abuse and child murder is an accident - and happens when the parent literally snaps. This is, of course, not a good thing and not acceptable, but I understand it very clearly.

    Learning not to snap doesn't happen overnight. You are dealing with a grown-up who does not have good boundaries or good self-control. That takes a lot of time and energy to correct. Especially when it is obvious that - like the mother here - a person has ongoing anger managment issues.

    This is a very sad story. My prayers for this struggling family.
     
  13. Mr. E

    Mr. E New Member

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    Parenting classes might help a parent who spanks too much, or who only uses negative reinforcement, but for somebody who can harm an infant like the "mother" in the article, I don't believe any parent training will help. If you don't have enough sense to know not to stop up the nose of an infant, you don't have the right to raise/parent that child.
     
  14. Salem

    Salem Former Member

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    I'm thinking about this. I usually say, when the father is the abuser, that the mother should be arrested also. So, yes, fair is fair and the father should be arrested here. However, he should be treated exactly like an abused mother would be treated. An abused man will exhibit the same signs an abused woman exhibits. The difference is that there are no hotlines, per se, for abused men, and there are very few shelters for abused men and their children. However, the pain is just as real for these families. And it is quite embrassing for a man to admit that he is afraid of his significant other.

    It could very well be that the mother is this case would not allow the father to take the baby for a walk. If she was already upset, reasoning with her was probably impossible. She probably would not have let her mother take the baby at that point.

    It is very difficult to reason with people that suffer from such anger. You have to do it when they are calm and at that point, they convince everyone that everything is okay. So you have to bite the bullet, risk sending them into one of their rages, and insist that everything is not okay. Scary place to be for all involved.

    The baby needs to be taken away from this young woman and not returned, in my opinion. I firmly believe that even if she works out her anger issues, this particular child will never be safe with her, ever. An abuser can sometimes change their stripes, but never with the person they abused. In my opinion - that never happens.

    Salem
     
  15. Mr. E

    Mr. E New Member

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    Salem, well said!
     
  16. OneLostGrl

    OneLostGrl I'm going against the grain- I'm going sane

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    She needs to have someone tell her not to hurt her baby when she becomes overwhelmed?

    I was not only overwhelmed after my son was born I also had untreated Bipolar disorder with episodes of Psychosis and an addiction to prescription medications and I knew enough to walk away when I became angry or overwhelmed.

    People like this make me so sick!
     
  17. OneLostGrl

    OneLostGrl I'm going against the grain- I'm going sane

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    :clap: I agree!! I think they should loose their right to live within society!
     
  18. txsvicki

    txsvicki Active Member

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    I hope the mother or father never get the child back. Imagine what that wimp father would do in a few years when a toddler is getting badly beaten or knocked around. He'd do nothing just as before and the violence would get worse.
     
  19. Fairy1

    Fairy1 Divided We Fall

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    I totally disagree! I believe parenting and anger management classes in high school should be mandatory. These kids today ( I have 2) are totally all about "me" and are so quick to anger and violence. And they have no concept whatsoever of what being a parent means. We can't prevent anyone from becoming a parent, but we can show them the realities of it before it becomes a reality for them. Teaching tolerence could be very valuable.
     
  20. Fairy1

    Fairy1 Divided We Fall

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    But people like this DO have babies and those babies are in harms way from day one. We can't very well go around and pick and chose who will or won't be good parents before the fact and let's face it, foster care is not the perfect solution. There must be a way to reach these losers before they have babies!!!
     
  21. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    With all due respect OLG, I didn't say someone needs to tell her not to hurt her baby. I said too bad someone didn't tell her when she got overwhelmed it's better to put the baby down and step away for a few minutes. I remember and this is just me that putting the baby in the crib crying meant I totally failed. Of course that'd be after about 10 hours of trying to soothe an infant. One of my elderly neighbors telling me to "Just put her in the crib and shut the door for a few minutes" worked wonders. Kind of felt like somebody gave me permission to breathe.

    That sounds backward I know, but hey with zero sleep and a screaming infant I was swearing it was something I did wrong. Couple that with Doctor's who just blow ya off and tell ya some infant's do that I took that elderly ladie's advice.

    I'm glad you are doing well, OLG. Agreed people like this chick make me sick as well.
     

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