Neuromancer
New Member
- Joined
- May 5, 2012
- Messages
- 642
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Hahaha! yeah - they will be waiting to pounce and catch us all in one hit!
And I agree.... you stay in a relationship for many reasons; maybe you think it is better for the children, financial reasons - hard to bring up children on your own - but if someone just snaps.... the nicest, gentlest person in the world could snap if they thought they were going to lose their children - or the nastiest, most evil person could snap if they thought they were going to lose face..
Yeah - thing is tho, and I was going to bring it up when ppl were talking about the kids being traumatised by arrest (the kids will already have seen abuse, heard it - they probably already realise what's happened).
These things don't happen out of the blue. There are signs and escalating bad behaviour - controlling, degradation, invalidation of others. There are things reported here from 20, 30 years ago that ring alarm bells. Photos, bios, resumes that scream warning.
I was lucky (in retrospect). I accidentally lived in a share house with a psychopath as a student at 18. Being yelled at, lied to, robbed and eventually punched (after of course, being charmed, flattered and manipulated) turned out to be incredibly useful, because when I then sat through 3rd year lectures on personality disorders, i could say "oh - so that's a psychopath. Gotcha." Have been pretty damn good at spotting them, and their lesser creeps, narcissists, ever since.
Thing is, normal people don't commit murder like this, regardless of motives. That's a fiction from detective shows. Normal people have enough empathy and sense of the human rights of another individual to stop and think, and find another solution.
And being able to recognise the disordered ones before it's too late is an essential life skill that everyone needs to learn.