And this is why I raised my child to literally have no shame. She has a conscience ofc, but there's nothing she can do that she cannot come and tell me about. I taught her that -even if she knows it'll make me angry - she should come to me with her problems or concerns, or for advice, or just to talk. Because people can express anger and disappointment, if you do something they don't approve of, but her mum will always love her 100% no matter what. There's nothing we cannot work through, together (once I calm down).
So far, it's paid off. I'm finding her a teenager who is very self-regulating and open about things. Sometimes TOO open. Omg, there's things a parent simply does NOT want to hear about.. Bless her. But yeah, I often see in cases where girls (usually younger than this!) have done this same thing, and there's *always* a hyper judgemental parent in the mix.
That's why I was kind of "Oh I see.." when the whole minister thing came up. Of course, I'm just assuming. But I have to wonder what home life she had, to make her act in such an unthinking, unfeeling, selfish way. It's all about self-preservation, and that comes from a perception of devastating shame and rejection. Very often, anyway.
