Baez & Casey's relationship?

[manatee]

of course the other explanation could be that Casey is big break, the case he has hoped for his entire career. Because of her and this case, Jose Baez is now a household name. That's a big deal to some lawyers, more exciting than sex even!!

Ok. trying to stop myself.....WTH, but he could have both!

 

[manatee]

I believe she was Andy Williams wife? Also married to a prof. snow skier that was killed?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudine_Longet

Wow! yeah, this does prove my point.

 

[OneLostGrl]

--respectfully snipped--

Many private attorneys will still do public defender work on a case by case basis, usually based on the availability of the current public defenders. I work for a private attorney and usually about once a year we get approached by the court to take on a case. Now, I don't know if thats how it works in FL or with Baez but it certainly could be.

Thanks for responding

 

[icherish]

Couldn't he be disbarred for that kind of behavior?

I think he's just a very good defense attorney-he's dedicated to his client, it's a high profile, complicated case... I would imagine there is a lot of work and some late nights involved.

 

[Alyzabeth]

What would people be saying if Casey's attorney were female instead of a male? I guess we would all be finding out she's a lesbian, right?
Has it occurred to anyone that it is possible to have a purely platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex? Has it occurred to anyone that he might feel protective over Casey considering the emotional feeding frenzy that is going on with the media and internet?

 

[OneLostGrl]

my answer to you is you probably have not felt the attraction. Once you do, all bets are off. Also, you don't know how they would react if YOU came on to them. try it! I guarantee you that you will not be turned down.

I have a long time high school friend who still remains unmarried because she swore that she would never marry a man that would sleep with her easily.She has gone out of her way to come on to men to find the one that will turn her down....no luck yet. She is 43 and still single. Some of the men that I knew would never fall, fallen! Married, engaged, powerful, rich, religious, needeless to say she is never allowed alone with my husband. Does she have problems? yeah, probably. She is getting older so maybe she will be turned down soon but I doubt it.

Since you are so willing to open your life & marriage commitments and "rules" so openly and imply that if others do not follow the same rules their marriages would not last, I thought I'd respond with some thoughts of my own.

First of all, it sounds to me like your "friend" is simply a *advertiser censored*. That's the only kind of woman I know of that sets out to sleep with others peoples spouses. If you do not trust this woman, this "friend" around your husband how on earth can you sit here and call her your friend? I'd be a bit more concerned about letting her interact with my children.

If a husband can't keep his penis in his pants because a beautiful woman comes on to him he is a pretty sh!tty husband. If a woman has to control who is "allowed" or "dis-allowed" in her husbands life as her means to keep him from cheating on you, your marriage is in BIG trouble... and I mean HUGE.

What about trust and respect and commitment and love? If a marriage has those things (as well as sex, obviously) a man will not look outside of his relationship to have those parts of himself filled. Men who cheat are not always just after sex... many just want someone to talk to, to share ideas with, to be with a person who makes them feel as if they matter. They want to be held and they want to hold. They are looking for what they once had with their wife.

This does not mean that I believe for one second that their aren't men (and women alike) looking for pure recreational sex for sex sake. I realize some just succumb to the biological predisposition to mate. I realize that some men (and women alike) are simply scum and will cheat until the day they die but those people, IMO come with other disfunctions that are easy to spot. Those types of men have patterns and a smart, intuitive woman can pick up on them easily.

No way should a woman have to spend her life "watching" her husband and her "friends", invading her husbands privacy and having hers invaded as well. A couple of he rules you and your husband live by seem to me rules made by people who have once cheated and are determined to not let it happen again. They seem possessive, over the top, controlling and plain ol' unhealthy... kind of like the "rules" we often see in domestic violence cases. If you cannot trust that your husband can have lunch in public with a female co-worker without that somehow leading to an affair, I strongly suggest therapy. If you do not trust your friends around your husband when you are not there perhaps it's time to look into the "why" of that?

I really hope you don't take this post as me dissing you because I'm not. I feel sad for you and I want to hug you. You shared with us to the extent of telling others that their own spouses would cheat if they didn't do things your way. Perhaps your way is the faulty, unhealthy one?

 

[Devorahhh]

<<OneLostGrl
Although we know Baez is in private practice and is not a "public defender", do we know if he is a special public defender?>>

In Florida, at least in the 9th judicial circuit, we have public defenders and also The Office of Regional Conflict Counsel. The Office of Regional Conflict Counsel is a group of specially appointed attorneys, one of each assigned to each judge in Orange county. Public Defenders are appointed by the court to defend indigent clients. If the public defender has any sort of conflict with the client, ie: represented the victim previously, or it is a multiple co defendant case, then the Office of Regional Conflict Counsel is appointed. If that counsel has a conflict, we have a rotation of court appointed counsel that we use.

Mr. Baez is not a court appointed counsel to represent Casey. He was retained to represent her. How he is being paid I have no idea. He may not even be paid, but is doing this "pro bono" out of the kindness of his heart or for the publicity.

Devorahhh

 

[OneLostGrl]

<<OneLostGrl
Although we know Baez is in private practice and is not a "public defender", do we know if he is a special public defender?>>

In Florida, at least in the 9th judicial circuit, we have public defenders and also The Office of Regional Conflict Counsel. The Office of Regional Conflict Counsel is a group of specially appointed attorneys, one of each assigned to each judge in Orange county. Public Defenders are appointed by the court to defend indigent clients. If the public defender has any sort of conflict with the client, ie: represented the victim previously, or it is a multiple co defendant case, then the Office of Regional Conflict Counsel is appointed. If that counsel has a conflict, we have a rotation of court appointed counsel that we use.

Mr. Baez is not a court appointed counsel to represent Casey. He was retained to represent her. How he is being paid I have no idea. He may not even be paid, but is doing this "pro bono" out of the kindness of his heart or for the publicity.

Devorahhh

Thank you for that information!

 

[sweetmop]

Since you are so willing to open your life & marriage commitments and "rules" so openly and imply that if others do not follow the same rules their marriages would not last, I thought I'd respond with some thoughts of my own.

First of all, it sounds to me like your "friend" is simply a *advertiser censored*. That's the only kind of woman I know of that sets out to sleep with others peoples spouses. If you do not trust this woman, this "friend" around your husband how on earth can you sit here and call her your friend? I'd be a bit more concerned about letting her interact with my children.

If a husband can't keep his penis in his pants because a beautiful woman comes on to him he is a pretty sh!tty husband. If a woman has to control who is "allowed" or "dis-allowed" in her husbands life as her means to keep him from cheating on you, your marriage is in BIG trouble... and I mean HUGE.

What about trust and respect and commitment and love? If a marriage has those things (as well as sex, obviously) a man will not look outside of his relationship to have those parts of himself filled. Men who cheat are not always just after sex... many just want someone to talk to, to share ideas with, to be with a person who makes them feel as if they matter. They want to be held and they want to hold. They are looking for what they once had with their wife.

This does not mean that I believe for one second that their aren't men (and women alike) looking for pure recreational sex for sex sake. I realize some just succumb to the biological predisposition to mate. I realize that some men (and women alike) are simply scum and will cheat until the day they die but those people, IMO come with other disfunctions that are easy to spot. Those types of men have patterns and a smart, intuitive woman can pick up on them easily.

No way should a woman have to spend her life "watching" her husband and her "friends", invading her husbands privacy and having hers invaded as well. A couple of he rules you and your husband live by seem to me rules made by people who have once cheated and are determined to not let it happen again. They seem possessive, over the top, controlling and plain ol' unhealthy... kind of like the "rules" we often see in domestic violence cases. If you cannot trust that your husband can have lunch in public with a female co-worker without that somehow leading to an affair, I strongly suggest therapy. If you do not trust your friends around your husband when you are not there perhaps it's time to look into the "why" of that?

I really hope you don't take this post as me dissing you because I'm not. I feel sad for you and I want to hug you. You shared with us to the extent of telling others that their own spouses would cheat if they didn't do things your way. Perhaps your way is the faulty, unhealthy one?

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

 

[Kelsy_C]

Couldn't he be disbarred for that kind of behavior?

QUOTE]

I don't *think* (not 100% positive on this) he could for just sleeping with her, but if he were accepting sex as payment or something like that, that would definately be against the rules of professional conduct.

 

[french75]

Since you are so willing to open your life & marriage commitments and "rules" so openly and imply that if others do not follow the same rules their marriages would not last, I thought I'd respond with some thoughts of my own.

First of all, it sounds to me like your "friend" is simply a *advertiser censored*. That's the only kind of woman I know of that sets out to sleep with others peoples spouses. If you do not trust this woman, this "friend" around your husband how on earth can you sit here and call her your friend? I'd be a bit more concerned about letting her interact with my children.

If a husband can't keep his penis in his pants because a beautiful woman comes on to him he is a pretty sh!tty husband. If a woman has to control who is "allowed" or "dis-allowed" in her husbands life as her means to keep him from cheating on you, your marriage is in BIG trouble... and I mean HUGE.

What about trust and respect and commitment and love? If a marriage has those things (as well as sex, obviously) a man will not look outside of his relationship to have those parts of himself filled. Men who cheat are not always just after sex... many just want someone to talk to, to share ideas with, to be with a person who makes them feel as if they matter. They want to be held and they want to hold. They are looking for what they once had with their wife.

This does not mean that I believe for one second that their aren't men (and women alike) looking for pure recreational sex for sex sake. I realize some just succumb to the biological predisposition to mate. I realize that some men (and women alike) are simply scum and will cheat until the day they die but those people, IMO come with other disfunctions that are easy to spot. Those types of men have patterns and a smart, intuitive woman can pick up on them easily.

No way should a woman have to spend her life "watching" her husband and her "friends", invading her husbands privacy and having hers invaded as well. A couple of he rules you and your husband live by seem to me rules made by people who have once cheated and are determined to not let it happen again. They seem possessive, over the top, controlling and plain ol' unhealthy... kind of like the "rules" we often see in domestic violence cases. If you cannot trust that your husband can have lunch in public with a female co-worker without that somehow leading to an affair, I strongly suggest therapy. If you do not trust your friends around your husband when you are not there perhaps it's time to look into the "why" of that?

I really hope you don't take this post as me dissing you because I'm not. I feel sad for you and I want to hug you. You shared with us to the extent of telling others that their own spouses would cheat if they didn't do things your way. Perhaps your way is the faulty, unhealthy one?

Right on!

 

[Diamond]

What would people be saying if Casey's attorney were female instead of a male? I guess we would all be finding out she's a lesbian, right?
Has it occurred to anyone that it is possible to have a purely platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex? Has it occurred to anyone that he might feel protective over Casey considering the emotional feeding frenzy that is going on with the media and internet?

Good post.

I mean no offense (to anyone), but some of this speculation is getting out of hand. It's probably easy to do...this case is pretty crazy...but it's not helpful.

 

[KR2tonenow]

Casey is the IT defendant girl right now! That's all. I think he see's dollars and publicity and fame.

 

[manatee]

Since you are so willing to open your life & marriage commitments and "rules" so openly and imply that if others do not follow the same rules their marriages would not last, I thought I'd respond with some thoughts of my own.......

I didn't say their marriage would not last. I simply said that the odds than an affair will happen to the relationship go up. Higher risk, that's all.Many people stay married after affairs. many marriages that struggle with an affair decide not to tell anyone about it and work it out. My theory is that the best way to find out how to avoid something from happening to you is by understanding how it can occur. Once you do that then you can take steps to prevent it. youonly have to experience an affair once to know you don't ever want to go through it again.

 

[manatee]

First of all, it sounds to me like your "friend" is simply a *advertiser censored*. That's the only kind of woman I know of that sets out to sleep with others peoples spouses. If you do not trust this woman, this "friend" around your husband how on earth can you sit here and call her your friend? I'd be a bit more concerned about letting her interact with my children.

i've know this person for years and she is well aware of her problems and she will be the first to admit it. But not sure why you feel her sexual behavior has anything to do with how she interacts with chldren???? She does have some good qualities outside of this addiction. I know her history and I know why she is this way but that it definetely way, way off topic. But no, I would not be happy finding her alone in my house with my husband.

 

[manatee]

If a husband can't keep his penis in his pants because a beautiful woman comes on to him he is a pretty sh!tty husband. If a woman has to control who is "allowed" or "dis-allowed" in her husbands life as her means to keep him from cheating on you, your marriage is in BIG trouble... and I mean HUGE.

you are supposing that the woman just comes into his life and say came on let's go. that's not how it happens.
Imagine this common scenario: let's suppose your husband is someone that another woman that he works with finds attractive because of money, power, charisma, maybe his the boss, etc...she "innocently" begins to pay him attention. She laughs at his jokes, she listens intently. She asks his opinion about things. they start to "innocently" go to lunch together alone. It begins with neither party thinking that an affair is going to happen. Then this attractive woman starts to talk to him about her problems at home with her husband. How her husband drinks too much or goes out with his friends etc... You husband now begins to give her advise which she listens to and thanks him for and comments on what a great listener he is and how lucky you are to have him. The relationship continues on and they begin to share more and more of each other. Before they even know what's going on, the begin to spend more and more time together, more phone calls, texts messages. Maybe they are still not physically involved but they are deep into an emotional affair....I think you get how this story is going to end. AND IT ALL STARTED WITH LUNCH.

 

[manatee]

What about trust and respect and commitment and love? If a marriage has those things (as well as sex, obviously) a man will not look outside of his relationship to have those parts of himself filled. Men who cheat are not always just after sex... many just want someone to talk to, to share ideas with, to be with a person who makes them feel as if they matter. They want to be held and they want to hold. They are looking for what they once had with their wife.

When did I say that trust and respect and commitment are not important?All of those are essential things that you should have in a marriage. My husband and I and many other successful marriages that i know have this. We just draw the line at different places when it comes to the opposite sex. For you, it's ok to talk or have one- one relationships with other men and go out alone with them. For us, it is not. That's just not ok in our relationship. I don't go out with men alone and he does not go out with women alone. that's that.
Jerry Falwell- the reverend, was quoted as saying that if a woman was alone in an elevator he would wait for the next one." That's how extreme he was in wanting to prevent anything inapprorpriate from ever happening. Because life is all about habits. If you know that you are likely to drink if you go into a bar and you don't want to drink, don't go in the bar.

But I do completely agree with you with that statement that men who cheat are not only after sex. I don't think I said that. For the most part, most married men don't go out looking for "it." It happens because they are not paying attention. Just like the scenario I gave you earlier. But affairs are an equal opportunity employer. Women cheat just as much as men and they are also not immune to it. Women just tend to cheat more often do to emotional reasons and more for love rather than lust. I'm not making this up, i read the research. I'm sure you can google it.

 

[LI_Mom]

Casey is the IT defendant girl right now! That's all. I think he see's dollars and publicity and fame.

Short & sweet. ITA.

 

[LI_Mom]

Jerry Falwell- the reverend, was quoted as saying that if a woman was alone in an elevator he would wait for the next one." That's how extreme he was in wanting to prevent anything inapprorpriate from ever happening. Because life is all about habits. If you know that you are likely to drink if you go into a bar and you don't want to drink, don't go in the bar.

Maybe Falwell isn't the best guy to quote....

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." Jerry Falwell 1997

:crazy:

 

[manatee]

No way should a woman have to spend her life "watching" her husband and her "friends", invading her husbands privacy and having hers invaded as well. A couple of he rules you and your husband live by seem to me rules made by people who have once cheated and are determined to not let it happen again. They seem possessive, over the top, controlling and plain ol' unhealthy... kind of like the "rules" we often see in domestic violence cases. If you cannot trust that your husband can have lunch in public with a female co-worker without that somehow leading to an affair, I strongly suggest therapy. If you do not trust your friends around your husband when you are not there perhaps it's time to look into the "why" of that?

I think I explained already why I believe is inappropriate for opposite sex coworkers to go out to lunch alone . Aside from everything I said earlier, it can also be misconstrued by others and give the wrong impression as well. Another scenario could be that, I may not be interested in my married co-worker and I may be "safe" to go out to lunch with him but i just open the door for him to become interested in me and put myself in an uncomfortable situation. So why go to lunch with him in the first place?

Don't feel sorry for me I am very happily married and my husband is my best friend. I don't like to go out or do things without him and he does not like to go out or do things without me. We have married couple friends and not many single friends. When we are apart we miss each other. So it's not work. We communicate all through the day and text each other frequently. We still feel after 21 years of marriage and 26 years together feel that we are dating each other.
We have four girls so we make it apoint to go out every weekend alone. When I have to travel or he has to travel for work we travel together. This has become our habit. We don't see it as controlling, unhealthy, or possessive. We simply see it as our marriage!
For us our marriage is the most important relationship. It comes first before any other relationship. Why would I risk that by given time and energy to other relatioships outside of our marriage?

But again. This is not stuff I pulled out of nowhere. There is plenty of research on marriages, affairs and divorce. Read it and you may see where I'm coming from.
Here is a link to a informative website. Dr. Peggy simplifies a lot of the research on the subject of infidelity. She goes on to say that Monogamy is a Myth:

http://www.dearpeggy.com/affairs.html#1