CA - 13 victims, ages 2 to 29, shackled in home by parents, Perris, 15 Jan 2018 #9

[rsd1200]

Here in south Louisiana, Cajun country, we hug and/or kiss when greeting people we know. It’s a cultural trait...we talk to strangers in checkout lines...big conversations.

We're pretty huggy and chatty here in my region too. I'm one of the few home-growns who has boundary issues, but I've adapted over the years.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

I’ve been thinking a lot about various cases I know of where CPS stepped in—and where it didn’t.

The case of the “free-range children” in Maryland came to mind. https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...611a60dd8e5_story.html?utm_term=.b6c47644e401

I’ve also thought back to when I was in a waiting room while my son was in speech therapy. A dad and his son were there waiting, and the dad’s treatment of the son tore my heart out. He yanked him by the arm, said, “Get over here, boy,” smacked him, and was verbally abusive—all because the boy closed blinds on a window.

I stepped out and called police, and the call taker said that she would not send out an officer.

I argued, “If the father is treating the boy so terribly in public—in a mandatory reporter’s waiting room—what does he do to the boy behind closed doors?”

The call taker again declined to send out a unit, saying police would need to see the abuse occur in their presence.

I said, “I’m standing in the office parking lot. I am right across the street from a police substation. There is a patrol car right there. Can’t anyone come by and check on the boy? Talk to the dad? See if the boy is ok? Casually observe?”

Again, refusal.

Cut to another instance when I was driving behind a car and called 911 because two toddlers were running back and forth across the back seat. There were no child seats in view. Seat belts were not in use. That call taker had me follow the car until police could catch up and pull over the driver.

Last week at work, I handled paperwork that led me down one rabbit hole and then another. Long story short(-ish), police were asked to do a welfare check on a family. When police arrived at the home, the mom sobbed at the door, begging police to not go inside because, she said, once they saw the living conditions, they would take her children from her.

Police entered the home. CPS arrived. The home had no heat, no working stove, no working refrigerator. Perishable food was lined up on the floors, against the walls, in hopes that the cold walls and floors would keep the food from spoiling.

The toilets overflowed with feces. The mom said they hadn’t been flushed in a month or so. The upstairs sink and shower also had copious amounts of feces in them.

There was no hot water—and no feces-free shower in which to bathe. There was a “golf-cart size” hole in the ceiling. The home had one working light: a desk lamp in the living room.

The mom explained that her husband left a year ago, leaving her with their six children and no financial support. She was embarrassed and doing the best she could, she said, but too proud to ask for help for fear of losing her children.

Neighbors fed the kids occasionally and allowed them to shower at their houses. None spoke up. None offered more guidance and help than meals and occasional showers.

The county sent out a building inspector who deemed the home uninhabitable. The mom and children were placed in a rental home. She is required to get mental health treatment. CPS checks on the kids and the living conditions regularly.

And then, on the other, other hand, there’s my former neighbor who used to leave her two-year-old strapped in her high chair, eating breakfast alone with two dogs, while mom and grade-schooler son walked down the street and around the corner to the bus stop.

I asked her the what-ifs: What if the two-year-old chokes? What if she tries to get out of the highchair and it tips? What if she becomes entangled in the straps? What if the dogs mom rescued from the streets of Bolivia decide they want the little girl’s Cheerios? What if there is a fire?

I was told that she is a free-range parent, that I’m a catastrophic thinker, that I shouldn’t meddle. 911’s lack of concern for the abused boy in the speech therapist’s waiting room made me hem and haw when I considered calling in my concerns about High Chair Mom.

And, finally, there’s the 10-year-old boy who walked a mile or so barefoot on a little country road here in my county and knocked on a stranger’s door, asking for food.

The boy was injured, hungry, and dirty. The boy’s parents punished him by forcing him to kneel for hours on a board with nails sticking out of it. They burned his hands on a stove burner as another punishment. He had never attended school and lived in the middle of nowhere, so no one knew of him or missed him or worried about him.

The people whose doorstep he walked to called police. CPS took custody of the boy. The parents have been charged with felony child abuse.

There’s just so much of this out there. I’ve intervened at least three times and have been shut down by 911, been told to chill, and, alternatively, been told to “follow that car!”

I don’t know where I’m going with this or why I’m sharing it. I suppose I just can’t wrap my mind around the concern and the lack of concern; the alarm and the scoldings to chill; the immediate response, the appropriate response, the heartfelt response, and the lack of response in such cases.

Anyway . . . [emoji53]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you for trying to get help for these children. If you ever call 911 or the non-emergency line and they refuse to take action, then email in writing the police chief or the sheriff and put what happened in writing. CC the public officials such as the city council so that it becomes a 'public record.' Sometimes putting it in writing causes them to take action when the dispatch person refuses to do so. They can't stop you from filing a report about what occurred.

 

[rsd1200]

Opinion piece doesn't have any new case info that I could see. Still thought I'd share.

Why child abuse like the Turpin family horrors is so hard to prevent or halt

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-riley-turpin-child-welfare-law-20180206-story.html

Interesting. Makes some good points. I don't even know how they'd go about eradicating child abuse. It's like spouse abuse, elder abuse, animal abuse, if no one says anything, nothing can be done. At what point do you say something? I'd not think child abuse if I saw folks marching around a room at night. I'd probably figure they were practicing for something. I used to practice marching for flag drills. No flag, at home. Just keeping time, marching. I'm nocturnal too, so there goes that. I've seen some scrawny, pale, kids turn out to be scrawny, paler, adults. Two, for instance, one was definitely not abused, and one, I know that his dad would get lit, and beat the crap out of him. No one knew back in the day though. Never said a word til he was well into adulthood.

How do you stop it?

 

[mtnlites]

Interesting. Makes some good points. I don't even know how they'd go about eradicating child abuse. It's like spouse abuse, elder abuse, animal abuse, if no one says anything, nothing can be done. At what point do you say something? I'd not think child abuse if I saw folks marching around a room at night. I'd probably figure they were practicing for something. I used to practice marching for flag drills. No flag, at home. Just keeping time, marching. I'm nocturnal too, so there goes that. I've seen some scrawny, pale, kids turn out to be scrawny, paler, adults. Two, for instance, one was definitely not abused, and one, I know that his dad would get lit, and beat the crap out of him. No one knew back in the day though. Never said a word til he was well into adulthood.

How do you stop it?

You raise some good points.

Since we are looking at this case with the advantage of hindsight, things make more sense to us and we're seeing the signs of abuse more clearly. But, like you, many of these things would NOT have raised my hinky meter on their own. My son had mono and was out of school for a year. We got our schedules backwards and for about 11 months we slept all day and stayed up all night. People who homeschool their kids are often on "different" schedules. (That may even be why they choose to homeschool to start with.) I would think nothing of seeing children out with their parents after midnight. We do it ourselves. The marching may have been something I looked at and thought was weird, but I wouldn't immediate jump to something nefarious. The fact that the children were pale, quiet, etc? Again, I know some "strange" people (strange by my definition) who practice different religious beliefs and have various sociocultural beliefs and I may have just shrugged it off. LT told neighbors that they took the kids to Las Vegas. They participated in a decorating contest. They seemed to put on a good front.

The only thing I keep going back to is the Texas situation. That filthy home and the dead animals should have raised some concerns, even after the fact. I don't want to place judgment on the neighbors or new home owners but I feel like that was something I would've reported.

Where I live, and I am sure you understand this as well, we have a lot of people who live away from everyone else and kind of do their own thing. Lots of conservative religious sects, lots of family "clans" who keep to themselves, etc. Heck, people actually buy cheap acreage and move to my county just so that they can set up their own little family communes, ha ha. (Prepping has gotten huge around here in the past decade.) Things would have to be pretty wild to raise our eyes around here. Still, the animal situation would've been enough to warrant a call, even here.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

My family did not hug. Every now and then someone in my generation or older tries it and it is so very awkward.

I was lucky, though. My chosen mom taught me about the healing power of hugs when I was about 30. I hug people regularly now. I hope someone teaches these kids that.

I hope so too. Hugging is awesome.

 

[human]

Interesting. Makes some good points. I don't even know how they'd go about eradicating child abuse. It's like spouse abuse, elder abuse, animal abuse, if no one says anything, nothing can be done. At what point do you say something? I'd not think child abuse if I saw folks marching around a room at night. I'd probably figure they were practicing for something. I used to practice marching for flag drills. No flag, at home. Just keeping time, marching. I'm nocturnal too, so there goes that. I've seen some scrawny, pale, kids turn out to be scrawny, paler, adults. Two, for instance, one was definitely not abused, and one, I know that his dad would get lit, and beat the crap out of him. No one knew back in the day though. Never said a word til he was well into adulthood.

How do you stop it?

You report. There are defintions of what is reportable. The intake at CPS will determine what will happen next.

Children need to be treated like humans in school. There are ideas about how to do that. Problem solving instead of punishment. At least then kids at school will be treated better.

And teaching parenting maybe as early as 8th grade and then every year thereafter. Teaching alternatives to hitting and punishing a child. Child development. And teaching that an infant is incapable of showing love to you. You have to show love to the infant. Answer the baby’s cries. Nutrition for children and adults.

The Columbine kids had good academics. Does not matter if you have social emotional needs

 

[MzOpinion8d]

Well, we are going a bit off topic, so we shouldn't dedicate too many posts to the article.

But...I think sometimes things are seen too much in black and white, and at times like this we want a total cure or nothing. We can't have a total cure, but early intervention might make a difference for a lot of families even if it can't catch or prevent every case, every tragedy. I think this is partly why the 'new laws' effect often doesn't seem to help much, because it's about doing something that's popular in the face of a big news case and maybe doesn't take into account all the nuances that exist, and then when the next round of funding comes along the newly raised funding isn't going to stay at that raised level, a recession will be just around the corner, there will be cutbacks to programs and layoff of CPS staff, etc.

With something like homeschooling checks, you've also got the issue that you're spending a lot of money and time on the majority of families where there is no problem at all, just so you can maybe identify the tiny percentage where there is a problem, and the even smaller percentage that's as bad as the Turpins. The vocal majority of "I don't want big govt interfering in how I raise my kids" is going to win out, because they're the ones with the voting bloc and that has to be added to the financial side. There are far fewer public schools that need to be checked than there are homeschooling families (I presume) and for every check that's made that's going to cover hundreds or thousands of children, whereas homeschool checks will be for 1 to 12ish at a time, so that's a lot of resources to put into those checks. And what should those checks consist of? I'd like to see a basic medical done at least once a year, height weight charts, dental check, eyesight and hearing checks, a check of the home, see the schoolwork that's being done, and photographic evidence of some kind of educational trip with a minimum of four per year, to a museum, swimming classes, a nature hike or whatever the parents choose so that it doesn't have to cost a huge amount for the family but must be outside the home.

I think there should be a report made for every child that doesn't get enrolled in school and every child whose enrollment lapses, because I want kids like Bella and Little Jacob and Madison to be found and identified easily, and I want someone to know that the Turpin siblings exist, because they do exist, because they're children who didn't choose to whom they were born, and the reality is that not all families are even acceptable places for children.

I think a simple solution would be for states to require homeschooling families to provide proof of a complete physical for each child yearly. One that includes height, weight and a general physical exam, as well as a hearing and vision screening. (And proof of follow up for any identified issues such as needing glasses, etc.)

It's generally recommend that one have a physical yearly anyway, so this isn't "government interference".

This would ensure that children are at least seen once a year by someone outside the family.

 

[mtnlites]

I think a simple solution would be for states to require homeschooling families to provide proof of a complete physical for each child yearly. One that includes height, weight and a general physical exam, as well as a hearing and vision screening. (And proof of follow up for any identified issues such as needing glasses, etc.)

It's generally recommend that one have a physical yearly anyway, so this isn't "government interference".

This would ensure that children are at least seen once a year by someone outside the family.

As a former homeschooling parent, I don't see anything unreasonable with this idea.

 

[rsd1200]

You raise some good points.

Since we are looking at this case with the advantage of hindsight, things make more sense to us and we're seeing the signs of abuse more clearly. But, like you, many of these things would NOT have raised my hinky meter on their own. My son had mono and was out of school for a year. We got our schedules backwards and for about 11 months we slept all day and stayed up all night. People who homeschool their kids are often on "different" schedules. (That may even be why they choose to homeschool to start with.) I would think nothing of seeing children out with their parents after midnight. We do it ourselves. The marching may have been something I looked at and thought was weird, but I wouldn't immediate jump to something nefarious. The fact that the children were pale, quiet, etc? Again, I know some "strange" people (strange by my definition) who practice different religious beliefs and have various sociocultural beliefs and I may have just shrugged it off. LT told neighbors that they took the kids to Las Vegas. They participated in a decorating contest. They seemed to put on a good front.

The only thing I keep going back to is the Texas situation. That filthy home and the dead animals should have raised some concerns, even after the fact. I don't want to place judgment on the neighbors or new home owners but I feel like that was something I would've reported.

Where I live, and I am sure you understand this as well, we have a lot of people who live away from everyone else and kind of do their own thing. Lots of conservative religious sects, lots of family "clans" who keep to themselves, etc. Heck, people actually buy cheap acreage and move to my county just so that they can set up their own little family communes, ha ha. (Prepping has gotten huge around here in the past decade.) Things would have to be pretty wild to raise our eyes around here. Still, the animal situation would've been enough to warrant a call, even here.

BBM

Oh, I know what you mean about the family "clans". My friend's mother put her home for sale, a couple weeks ago, way up in the hills, and several folks lived in that holler, some where kin. It was sold in a matter of days.

If I knew that they were their dogs, then yes, I'd call in on them. Even if there was no way that I could prove that they were their dogs, or it was their kitten, I'd still call animal control, so they could come and get them. They'rd then, at least be a legal record, that the animals were found abandoned in that home, where they'd previously lived.

 

[human]

Not in response to you rsd, but your comment made me wonder,

Why do people call in about animals, but feel other people’s children are not their business?

 

[mtnlites]

Not in response to you rsd, but your comment made me wonder,

Why do people call in about animals, but feel other people’s children are not their business?

I think because it's easier to see neglect and abuse in animals. You see a skinny animal with its hair falling out, you know it's not getting medical treatment or it's being starved. There could be many reasons why a child could be thin and pale, however, and most people (IMO) don't want to automatically jump to "abuse." Likewise, it's easy enough to drive by a house and see an animal chained up outside in the rain. You can't see a child chained to a bed as you drive by, however. Most people can put on good fronts with their children in public. In my experience, they're less likely to do it with their animals.

 

[Pamela_Brewer]

We're pretty huggy and chatty here in my region too. I'm one of the few home-growns who has boundary issues, but I've adapted over the years.

Me too! Don't get in my "bubble "!
*Husband, son and daughter excluded!
MOO

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[rsd1200]

People call the police about all kinds of things they do not deal with. You cannot stop people from calling things in.

I was a mandated reporter. The decree was that if one had reason to believe, then call it in. Sometimes they have other reports that do not amount to enough to do anythng but your report may be the one that makes the difference.

I had a girl from a family where the father bit the girl on the arm to show jer somethings hurt, Another teacher had the brother and he had come to school with a slap print on his face,

I called CPS and insisted they go check it out, The father had special cognitive needs. CPS decided it was all ok.

Amother boy in my room came to school covered in dog feces everyday. Everyday we washed his clothes. A parent reported to me that the home was filthy. I called it in and it was investigated, The mother removed the child from my classroom, The mother got some help with proper cleaning skills.

The child had no friends because it was known the house was filthy and parents did not want their children playing with him. Sweet little guy who was going to suffer. Is thar OK?

Thirty years of teaching. I told the parents I was a mandated reporter and that the children came first when I started the school year. Many many stories. And then the ones I found out about later because the parents were so clever covering up what was in fact going on. I believed them.

My loyalty is with the little shining faces and the little shining eyes. Children are not possessions.

BBM
And there-in lies the rub, for many kids. Not that, folks shouldn't call, if they see something, but it is a hindrance. Kids can be fiercely loyal, to bio parents, too. Even trading roles, and caring for themselves, and parents, like little adults. You, too, are at an advantage in noticing signs, by being in direct contact with the same kids, on a daily basis. I

 

[human]

BBM
And there-in lies the rub, for many kids. Not that, folks shouldn't call, if they see something, but it is a hindrance. Kids can be fiercely loyal, to bio parents, too. Even trading roles, and caring for themselves, and parents, like little adults. You, too, are at an advantage in noticing signs, by being in direct contact with the same kids, on a daily basis. I

One child sticks out in particular. He was just a doll,and then after Christmas he became monstrous. His father had just gone to prison.

I discussed the behavior with the mother and asked her if she had seen anything at home. I asked her what she did at home when he acted out.

She had the best answers. So caring. So thoughtful and insightful. We were on the same page.

Then I find out from the aunt who had a child in my class as well that she had the boy now. Mom was a druggie and left him with the aunt for days at a time. No one knew where she was often.

She had learned all of the great lingo from being in therapy over the years.

The boy is not doing well. The aunt succumbed to horrible issues . She is precious but her life circumstances brought her so far down that I am not sure she can ever recover. She grew up with horrible parents.

 

[rsd1200]

You report. There are defintions of what is reportable. The intake at CPS will determine what will happen next.

Children need to be treated like humans in school. There are ideas about how to do that. Problem solving instead of punishment. At least then kids at school will be treated better.

And teaching parenting maybe as early as 8th grade and then every year thereafter. Teaching alternatives to hitting and punishing a child. Child development. And teaching that an infant is incapable of showing love to you. You have to show love to the infant. Answer the baby’s cries. Nutrition for children and adults.

The Columbine kids had good academics. Does not matter if you have social emotional needs

I'm not sure what you mean by social emotional needs.

If I saw someone bust their kid in the chops, then yeah, I'd call. If I see folks marching around in a room at night, no. I won't call. We are not really what I'd call "traditional". June and Ward don't live here. Our family really puts the "fun" in dysfunctional, and I mean that, we may be a different lot, but we have fun. So a bunch of folks marching around a room at night would not seem odd at all to me.

 

[rsd1200]

Not in response to you rsd, but your comment made me wonder,

Why do people call in about animals, but feel other people’s children are not their business?

Probably b/c it's more visible in an animal. You can see a starved dog, chained to post. If I saw animals starving in an abandoned home, I'd call the shelter to come get them, so they'd not die in there. If I found a toddler in our old farmhouse, or walking down the highway, I'd most definitely call LE. If my neighbor's dog strays, and comes to my house, I'll call them, or take it home. Same with a neighbor's child, as long as the child didn't look to be abused. I've seen a lot of kids living in poverty but they weren't abused. If I thought they were abused, that's different.

 

[rsd1200]

One child sticks out in particular. He was just a doll,and then after Christmas he became monstrous. His father had just gone to prison.

I discussed the behavior with the mother and asked her if she had seen anything at home. I asked her what she did at home when he acted out.

She had the best answers. So caring. So thoughtful and insightful. We were on the same page.

Then I find out from the aunt who had a child in my class as well that she had the boy now. Mom was a druggie and left him with the aunt for days at a time. No one knew where she was often.

She had learned all of the great lingo from being in therapy over the years.

The boy is not doing well. The aunt succumbed to horrible issues . She is precious but her life circumstances brought her so far down that I am not sure she can ever recover. She grew up with horrible parents.

Bless his heart. I'm not affiliated with CPS but have been around some foster children. Some abuse is not deliberate, it's just ignorance, or drug addictions, that led to family breakdown, and others it was deliberate. One little guy I wonder about sometimes, came to the foster parents, at about 18 mos., and had cigarette burns all over him.

 

[human]

Deliberate or not, children do not need to be the recipients. Parents get to have their children if they meet the goals established by CPS. That is if they have been removed by court order.

Honestly, I do not understand why children are supposed to have to accept that which adults do not have to accept. Assault, for one thing.

 

[DakotaMayi]

Here in south Louisiana, Cajun country, we hug and/or kiss when greeting people we know. It’s a cultural trait...we talk to strangers in checkout lines...big conversations.

We're pretty huggy and chatty here in my region too. I'm one of the few home-growns who has boundary issues, but I've adapted over the years.

How nice. We live too close to the city to be huggy/chatty (Dah, the city!)

The further out we go, the more huggy/chatty it gets

 

[rsd1200]

Deliberate or not, children do not need to be the recipients. Parents get to have their children if they meet the goals established by CPS. That is if they have been removed by court order.

Honestly, I do not understand why children are supposed to have to accept that which adults do not have to accept. Assault, for one thing.

I didn't say that they did. I said some were there because it was deliberate abuse, and some because of ignorance and break down of the family. The former should never get their child back. The latter should be provided with resources and an attempt to make the family whole.