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CA- California mayor sparks outrage by telling bullying victims to 'grow a pair'

Discussion in 'Bullies and Stalkers' started by popsicle, May 20, 2014.

  1. popsicle

    popsicle faith hope love

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    A Central California mayor's remarks that bullying victims should toughen up and defend themselves has sparked anger among some city officials and gay rights advocates.

    At a recent City Council meeting, Porterville Mayor Cameron Hamilton said he opposes bullying but thinks it is too often blamed for the world's problems. Hamilton said some people need to "grow a pair."


    http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/255618...bullying-victims-to-grow-a-pair#axzz32Fq57Hvy
     
  2. LinasK

    LinasK Verified insider- Mark Dribin case

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    GRRRR!!! I saw this idiot on the news. He has no idea what it's like to be bullied. And it doesn't only affect boys- it happens to little girls too, myself included.
     
  3. JeannaT

    JeannaT Former Member

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    Despite the mayor's somewhat dismissive attitude, really, what a bizarre proposal.

    Bully free zones? What in the world would that look like, as implemented? I'm picturing little metal buildings, monitored by several adults at all times, where people run in while being chased by tormentors?

    Or people who in general behave in such a way that strangers disparage them coming in and behaving in that same way and no one can even look at them askance?

    Would it be limited only to juveniles? Or would there be adults there who are registered sex offenders who are tired of being bullied also?

    The mayors reaction to this may have been inappropriate but really what a very odd and difficult to implement idea. Reminds me of that senator who tried to pass legislation making it illegal for people to name their pets human names because it might make kids feel bad about themselves when they heard a pet had the same name they have.

    Only in California, I guess.
     
  4. JeannaT

    JeannaT Former Member

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    Here's more on the proposed law. In my opinion, ALL the behaviors that are outlawed in the bullying law are already illegal. There is no where you can legally "terrorize, molest, etc" anyone else. That's why there are crimes in categories like harassment, making a terroristic threat, sexual assault, etc. They are crimes.

    And limiting it to ages 5-25 for the victims? So you can bully a 4 year old or a 89 year old still, I guess, legally there and that will not change.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/california-city-hopes-to-create-bully-free-zone-with-new-law/
     
  5. janestnycrk4

    janestnycrk4 Member

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    bulling hurts and leaves scars. I now I got bullied by boys to. I don't know I was supposed to "grow a pair". Even if you did take a stand the bullied was the one that got in trouble. always then bullies would have a good laugh and start over again. I just don't know what these bully free zones are about. The only way to be safe is to remove the bullies.
     
  6. JeannaT

    JeannaT Former Member

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    jane, your idea of removing the bullies is an interesting idea, but as you note in your post the admin often doesn't know who the bullies vs. the bullied are. They literally don't know. My oldest was in a class that was having trouble at recess and lunch with bullies, and two kids were routinely being ostracized and if they sat at the lunch table others would jump up and move away. So the teacher devised a seating chart that she thought would work by placing like behaving kids with each other and intended to enforce that chart in the cafeteria until dynamics calmed down. I was class mom that year and got a call from one of the bullied boy's moms - kind of hysterical - saying did you even look at the chart? My son has been placed sandwiched between the two biggest bullies!! I couldn't believe it either, the teacher literally had no idea who the ring leaders were because they were very slick and socially savvy. I talked to the teacher and we re-arranged the chart that would work better - and I was left kind of amazed that the teacher honestly couldn't tell who the ring leaders were in the 3rd grade. I wouldn't call her unusual, either, as you state - teachers can't always see it and the victims are seen as instigators.

    So I don't know how you'd come up with a beneficial way of removing the bullies - often it would be further that the victims would be isolated for appearing to be the problem.

    And before anyone says it's easy for teachers and admin to spot bullies - it isn't. It's easy for parents to spot them somehow, but it's harder for school admin to see it.
     

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