enelram
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2009
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As much as we want to try and figure out what went on within this family, one huge factor that we may never get
enough information to truly understand is what is the childhood family and upbringing of both Jen and Sarah.
We're in such shock trying to explain and understand what happened here, but, IMO, a lot of missing info is concerning
Jen and Sara's family of origin.
Were either of them adopted or products of foster care? Seems to me, neither were able to adequately bond or
really love others, especially these children. There's a big difference in professing love and hugs and actually behaving
using loving behavior. I saw very little loving behavior from these parents. Lots of words, little in actions.
What was the method/style of discipline in their birth family? Was Jen abused as a child? Probably, IMO.
We know that neither chose to continue having a relationship w/ parents or siblings or extended families of origin.
This tells me they had an inability to form lasting relationships. They did not know how and they chose to separate
themselves from this. Were they both abused and or not loved and nurtured by their birth family? Probably.
If anything is shown to us here, my opinion is that the adopters Jen and Sara were not suitable parents. I believe they were both deficient in their ability to deal with the problems of young adoptees. They also did not understand the concept of seeking help from others when you have a problem. They did not understand that they needed more
education to understand and deal with the day to day problems of the children.
It appears to me the parents' style was devised to maintain order and a disciplined home despite sometimes chaotic
behavior from the children. I also saw no effort that we know of to encourage the children to grow and become
individual, healthy, stable personalities. What I see is young people encouraged to become mini-me in the political
areas, protesting etc. far too early for the children to understand or have a choice in these endeavors. In this area, the children were used as a tool.
I believe Jen and Sara were really protesting for their own perceived injustices that they had faced throughout their lives. I think they both came from very confused, less than ideal families and their own sad upbringing is reflected
in how they chose to live their lives and how they chose to end their lives. Unfortunately they acquired 6 little mini-me's
who never had a choice in all this. If you want to understand the dynamics here, you'd have to look at the parental families. And we will probably never get that picture.
enough information to truly understand is what is the childhood family and upbringing of both Jen and Sarah.
We're in such shock trying to explain and understand what happened here, but, IMO, a lot of missing info is concerning
Jen and Sara's family of origin.
Were either of them adopted or products of foster care? Seems to me, neither were able to adequately bond or
really love others, especially these children. There's a big difference in professing love and hugs and actually behaving
using loving behavior. I saw very little loving behavior from these parents. Lots of words, little in actions.
What was the method/style of discipline in their birth family? Was Jen abused as a child? Probably, IMO.
We know that neither chose to continue having a relationship w/ parents or siblings or extended families of origin.
This tells me they had an inability to form lasting relationships. They did not know how and they chose to separate
themselves from this. Were they both abused and or not loved and nurtured by their birth family? Probably.
If anything is shown to us here, my opinion is that the adopters Jen and Sara were not suitable parents. I believe they were both deficient in their ability to deal with the problems of young adoptees. They also did not understand the concept of seeking help from others when you have a problem. They did not understand that they needed more
education to understand and deal with the day to day problems of the children.
It appears to me the parents' style was devised to maintain order and a disciplined home despite sometimes chaotic
behavior from the children. I also saw no effort that we know of to encourage the children to grow and become
individual, healthy, stable personalities. What I see is young people encouraged to become mini-me in the political
areas, protesting etc. far too early for the children to understand or have a choice in these endeavors. In this area, the children were used as a tool.
I believe Jen and Sara were really protesting for their own perceived injustices that they had faced throughout their lives. I think they both came from very confused, less than ideal families and their own sad upbringing is reflected
in how they chose to live their lives and how they chose to end their lives. Unfortunately they acquired 6 little mini-me's
who never had a choice in all this. If you want to understand the dynamics here, you'd have to look at the parental families. And we will probably never get that picture.