GUILTY CA - Pamela Vitale, 52, found murdered, Lafayette, 15 Oct 2005

[Jodibug]

I don't think it's fair to judge someone until you have been in their situation.

I am also sure that Pamela would want him to be happy, as I would want my own husband to be.

I wish them all the best.

 

[Ntegrity]

Pamela Vitale was murdered on Oct. 18, 2005, so it's been 1-1/2 years since her death. I don't think that's too soon myself.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

Ever see the statistics on how soon widowers remarry? I think it's about one year. As opposed to widows, many of whom never remarry.

I think it is about the socks.......as in wanting to have someone around to wash them. (Others will say, of course, that an early remarriage for a widower is a testament to the dead wife. That the man was so happy being married that he wants to do so again right away.)

Many children are shocked by the quick remarriage of a parent being widowed. And these were not HIS children!

Mr. Horowitz was through a horrible tragedy, and I do wish him the best. I kind of had hopes that he might hook up with Nancy Grace, however........

 

[Rino]

Ever see the statistics on how soon widowers remarry? I think it's about one year. As opposed to widows, many of whom never remarry.

Remember the old joke...Why do most woman outlive their husbands? So they can finally enjoy their life

I wish them both happiness.

 

[nanandjim]

I would be upset about that too. THREE days before she was murdered?? Wow, how convenient she died and was killed by someone else so he could pursue something with the ex juror!!

If this is true, I have to agree, too. I guess that an affair was blooming; and then his wife gets murdered. What timing... Are these his biological children? I thought that both had been married before...can't remember...

 

[Jodibug]

If this is true, I have to agree, too. I guess that an affair was blooming; and then his wife gets murdered. What timing...

I don't really think it is fair to say "an affair was blooming". A friendship was blooming, yes. That doesn't mean that they would have had an affair if Pamela had not been murdered.

Unless you have been through what Daniel went through, you really aren't qualified to judge him. Why be so cruel? Pamela surely would not begrudge him happiness.

 

[twinkiesmom]

My guess is she was there picking up the pieces of his shattered life and something blossomed from it. Everyone needs someone to comfort them.

 

[Jodibug]

My guess is she was there picking up the pieces of his shattered life and something blossomed from it. Everyone needs someone to comfort them.

Exactly. I think they had started a friendship when Pamela was killed and it grew into more sometime after.

I am glad that Daniel found someone to help ease the pain. I do understand why her children are upset, but hopefully in time they will grow to understand Daniel's feelings as well.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

Yep, and single women who are looking have a tendency to move in quickly on a newly widowed eligible man.

 

[Jodibug]

If I die tomorrow, I want my husband to move on whenever he feels ready. Not the rest of the world, just him.

Of course I want him to consider the feelings of my children, but he can't live his life for anyone else but him.

What I want, more than anything, is for him to be happy. He cannot live his life in mourning, that wouldn't do anyone any good. I don't plan to come back once I'm gone.

 

[Hermione]

You're right JBean, (oh Bean you know I'm your biggest fan, I always think you're right) It's been shown in studies that men do tend to get married much more quickly after losing a mate than women. They just don't seem to do as well as women do alone in general.

This is true. I've seen it quite a few times. The worst I've ever seen was a man who's wife of decades died of cancer and 4 *months* later he's married again and travelling the world. His wife had a baby 6 months before she died, a surprise baby because she was in her early 40s and their other kids were grown into their 20's already. She had pains during the pregnancy, they couldn't xray until delivery, it turns out it was colon cancer. She knew she was dying, begged him to take her to the beach for a vacation, he said he was too busy....a couple months later she died...4 months after that, poof, he's married and having some lady adopt his baby- they leave it with a nanny and jetset off to **paris**. One of the most upsetting things I have ever had to watch, to have been with his first wife during her last months and see how he treated her and how fast he moved on...and worst of all, his new wife gets jetsetted around like a queen, AND they don't let the baby have pictures of her mama- they have her treat his new wife as her mother and don't talk about her real mother.

Daniel Horowitz was obviously destroyed when Pamela was killed but this does seem a bit too soon, however, I wish him the best.

 

[Lauren]

He probably didn't know how to do his own laundry... :doh:

 

[PrayersForMaura]

Exactly. I think they had started a friendship when Pamela was killed and it grew into more sometime after.

I am glad that Daniel found someone to help ease the pain. I do understand why her children are upset, but hopefully in time they will grow to understand Daniel's feelings as well.

you're not in her kids' shoes, how can you "understand" how they feel. You're minimizing their pain by saying not to judge Horowitz. That's kind of a sideways way of thinking. You haven't walked in their shoes.

 

[sillygoose]

I do not think it's fair to say an affair was blossoming. After my dad died, my mom remarried an old family friend after his wife died. I know for a fact that there was never an affair blossoming for the many years they knew each other. Just because you know someone at the time of your spouse's death, and later marry them, doesn't mean you were cheating at the time of their death. Btw, I love my stepfather and I never once felt that my mom betrayed my dad. They were parted in death!

I still don't get it. For some people Brad Pitt is still a saint after what he did to his wife, yet Daniel Horowitz is the devil for marrying "too soon". It's just absurd.

 

[LNL]

I wish Dan and his new wife well.

This does kinda explain why we never really saw a united front with him and Pamela's family at the time of the trial. Remember how her parents and sister spoke of her at the PC after the verdict. Dan was out in the hall.

 

[MagicRose99]

I do not think it's fair to say an affair was blossoming. After my dad died, my mom remarried an old family friend after his wife died. I know for a fact that there was never an affair blossoming for the many years they knew each other. Just because you know someone at the time of your spouse's death, and later marry them, doesn't mean you were cheating at the time of their death. Btw, I love my stepfather and I never once felt that my mom betrayed my dad. They were parted in death!

I still don't get it. For some people Brad Pitt is still a saint after what he did to his wife, yet Daniel Horowitz is the devil for marrying "too soon". It's just absurd.

Nobody has called Horowitz "the devil". Each and every one of us is entitled to our opinion...

And for the record... I think her children have a right to be upset that he could and would "replace" their mother in his life this soon. I think she took advantage of a situation where time should have been give the widower... this I can bet that this marriage won't last.

And last, I think Bradd Pitt and Anajolie are scum of the earth and have no respect whatsoever for them.

You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm glad it worked out for your mother... but don't belittle us for ours... we're ALL entitled to have an opinion of our own.

 

[Bobbisangel]

you're not in her kids' shoes, how can you "understand" how they feel. You're minimizing their pain by saying not to judge Horowitz. That's kind of a sideways way of thinking. You haven't walked in their shoes.

I go into a forum for people who have lost a loved one to murder. Right after Pamela V was murdered her son came into the forum. He said that he came there because he was having a really hard time after the murder of his mom and he had no one to talk to. At the time I thought...I wonder why he doesn't talk to Dan as they both loved Pamela so much. Now I understand why he didn't turn to Dan.

At the trial I also wondered why Dan and Pamela's family didn't sit together. They acted like they didn't know each other. I just thought that was really strange.

We don't know when this friendship turned into a relationship but I know that if I was one of Pamela's kids and I found out that someone who had been on the jury went to work for my stepdad right after she got the boot and then they became good friends and were probably seen together a lot I would be greatly upset. It would be a betrayal to me and my mother if this woman was seen around a lot with my stepdad and I would question what was going on. Why couldn't he lean on male friends for support...not someone from the jury of his latest case. Why would a ex-juror go to work with him? How did that come about? I would have a ton of questions. That was just way to soon after a wife had been murdered and I can only imagine how her children must have felt. I know I felt so bad for her son and he seemed so lonesome and in need of someone for support. A shame he couldn't turn to Dan. I would have thought that Dan would have turned to Pamela's children during and after that horrible tragedy. If he had been close to them like he implied they could have been a big help to each other.

 

[Bobbisangel]

Does this Valeria happen to be the big gal that was so supportive to Susan Polk before and during the trial or was that another woman? I thought that gal said that she worked for Dan's office. Is there a pic of her somewhere?

 

[mjak]

I recently had a freind remarry after losing her husband a year and a half ago. She had had a wonderful 30 year marrage. At first I was shocked and confused that she would marry so soon. Then my mother explained to me that when you have had a wonderful marriage statisticly it is common that if your spouse dies you will marry again quickly. The reason for this she explained is that marriage is a lifestyle as much as love affair. When you have had a life style you have loved and enjoyed for years and years it makes complete sense you would seek out that life style. The remarrage may not be the love affair you shared with your diseased spouse but it is often based on a mutual desire to share a life, companionship and a love all of its own. When having it explained to me like this it made sense. I hope Daniel and his new wife are happy.

mjak

 

[cinsbythesea]

Does this Valeria happen to be the big gal that was so supportive to Susan Polk before and during the trial or was that another woman? I thought that gal said that she worked for Dan's office. Is there a pic of her somewhere?

You're thinking of Valerie Harris. I think she met Horowitz during the Peterson trial - she was there every day to watch the trial. How she ended up working for Horowitz for awhile is beyond me. Also - Valerie Harris is married.