I can't understand this blatant nastiness over a dear loved one in the throes of terminal illness. It turns my stomach that the two sides can't get along and come to terms for the benefit of the ailing one. This just isn't wealth. It happens with us poor folks too. Of course, I don't know the details, but why can't his wife buck up and show some compassion. It all seems wrong.
This maybe somewhat OT but want to share.
I know what you mean. It is so bizarre to me that anger and bad emotional repsonses occur when a family member is nearing death. I experienced this first hand with a relative and her family members. I was shocked at the anger and yelling going on and could not understand at first why everyone was so pissed off at each other. It was horrible experience.
I finally figured out the reason why it happens although I hate it still the same.
I conclusion I came up with is this.......
JMO
When people begin grieving for a dying family member, there are 2 incredible and extreme emotions (amongst others) that immediately take hold. SADNESS + ANGER.
The sadness is profound because they are losing a loved one. The anger is just as profound because of the same reason that they are losing a loved one. They are not necessarily mad at the person dying because most of the time the person cannot help it but they are mad at the fact they are losing them.
So they have to find avenues to express this internal anger they have and where do they turn? Towards anybody and everybody around them which most of the time is other close family members.
It is very sad but very real. The misdirected anger at other loved ones is dramatic and sad.
In my situation I tried to help be the mediator and help stop the family members from fighting with each other. I failed miserably. Not only did I fail at it, I also became part of the problem and joined in the anger and frustration.
It was an incredible eye opening experience for me. I learned an awful lot about what people go through and why it happens.
The big lesson I learned is although I failed at stopping the anger and hurtful comments people were making, I did try and I think I did help somewhat so if anybody finds themselves in similar situation, do try because when the dust settles, people will respect you for trying and it gets better in the long run. But tread carefully and make sure the words chosen are very careful. Never shoot off words without thinking very carefully before you say anything.
It is a process that people go through and in the long run, it usually gets much better. But when in the middle of it you have to be very careful and sometimes just staying silent and listening is a key part of it. People need to vent and need to allow their emotions to come out sometimes.
It is a very complex process and if handled wrong, it can have lasting problems. The key is to try to be a good listener and realize what is happening is natural and we all have to get through it.
lease: 
