CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #6

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Abby Normal Again

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I was totally caught up in over-analysing a missing child case on here once before and I judged the mum, badly, in my head - and she turned out to be an innocent victim.
Also, in other missing person's cases I have been wrong often, so, now I just listen to the interviews and wait for evidence to come out....

^this

And, also, these words are rather immortalized after we hit submit and send them out into the word. I know it's not common, but my heart flashes to Shawn Hornbeck. And you know, it happens. And should he, or others like him, get on the internet and read a thread or fifteen about all the humans in the world who gave up on him, and condemned his parents? It just seems pretty unethical to me to do before adequate data.

I get it, though. Often times it is the parent. Reading about too many horrible people makes us brace for the worst. I won't deny that I have that tendency myself.
 

SCHMAE

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Yeah that, AND......what if he arrived at the friends house and Dylan WAS there having a great time? Uhm mm, wouldn't it seem kinda ......drastic......to go driving that distance over there just to say "ok, I thought you were here". I mean, wasn't he EXPECTING that Dylan would be there anyway?

--- Did the friend even HAVE a phone? Maybe he HAD to drive there if there was no phone.
--- Did he only go there at ER's insistence? If they spoke beforehand and she told MR that Dylan hadn't answered her calls or texts at all that day and MR told her Dylan "was at friends house" and to chill. Maybe she told him he better eyeball Dylan personally or she'd be calling law enforcement pronto.

>>>>>>>>> Maybe it was actually ER that raised the initial 'alert' about Dylan's absence, forcing MR's hand. <<<<<<<<<<

If that's what happened, it becomes apparent that Dylan could have ended up missing for several DAYS before he was reported missing, with MR claiming he thought Dylan was at a friend's house all that time.

Maybe he thought he would see Dylan walking along the route to the friends' house? Maybe Dylan, in the morning, said I'll just walk over or hitch a ride or something. Possible.
 

ICUDOUCME

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not to argue... but all that does is place the ipod at the home. If Dylan left with all of his stuff, he would surely take the ipod too. If my 13 year old could only take one item, it would be her ipod!

Yeah no arguing out of me, but I did say COULD!:pillowfight2: LOL
 

gryphon

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I am only adding info since I am familiar with the area. I did not go out there this past summer so things may have changed some. To my knowledge there are 4 grocery stores in Durango. The Walmart, which unless they needed something else besides groceries they would have not go in. Very busy place, long lines etc. There are two City Markets and an Albertsons. Bayfield does have one grocery store, I doubt it would have been open sunday night. Fast food? There is a Subway, A&W and a long John Silvers. That's in Bayfield and would have been opened that evening. Durango has the usual fast food places.
 

Confusion

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Very sadly, I have to say it: I would believe this in a flash of the man I was married to for 20 years, even though he held down a responsible job teaching at a college and NO ONE else would ever have believed it.

The reason: he was severely narcissistically personality disordered, was alcoholic, had an explosive temper that was sometimes fueled by illegal drugs coupled with apathy from too much pot smoking, and was extremely irresponsible when it came to the care of our 2 sons. And, yes, he would have said he loved them dearly and they meant everything to him. And it would have been true in the very limited capacity he had to "feel" love. It was a selfish "they exist for MY ego needs" kind of love.

And he would NOT have known the phone numbers of his kid's friends nor the whereabouts of his sons nor felt it his responsibility do know either.

And YES, that is why I stayed with him that long. I WAS TERRIFIED OF BEING IN ELAINE'S POSITION. I couldn't risk even a weekend visitation. :(

But the world at large would NEVER have believed it. He had quite a fan club among the students at the college.
I know it's a bad place to be, but we can't judge every many by one bad one we've known - or even 50 bad guys we know. We also can't judge every woman by any bad one we've known. My father was extremely abusive with my mother, and a couple of his other wives, mainly when he drank. He was known to knock out teeth, blacken eyes, and other noticeable injuries along with those that didn't show. In spite of the bad feelings between them and a very messy divorce, he never laid a hand on any of us kids. That doesn't mean I don't believe any man would, but it does mean that I know that some men don't take their anger out on the kids. MOO
 

scorekeeper

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Here you go Scorekeeper!

thanks, Houston....got it now...a camera in Durango (that is if they went thru town; let's hope).

___

(((onelove)))

thank you for sharing and glad you and your kids are safe now!!
 

Tennlyn

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There is dads missing pole story coupled with two dog hits.

I'm still not clear on that order of events. My impression is still that the dogs led searchers to the lake. After they started searching the lake, then MR brought up that he'd reported a fishing pole missing with Dylan.
 

Bravo

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Maybe he thought he would see Dylan walking along the route to the friends' house? Maybe Dylan, in the morning, said I'll just walk over or hitch a ride or something. Possible.

Not according to Dad. Where is that timeline link? I know i posted it.
 

Confusion

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What's a phone book? You mean a book about all the latest and greatest new phones on the market?:blushing:

You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out what my son was talking about when he mentioned Notebooks - and I actually have an electronics/computer education.
 

Linda7NJ

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I know it's a bad place to be, but we can't judge every many by one bad one we've known - or even 50 bad guys we know. We also can't judge every woman by any bad one we've known. My father was extremely abusive with my mother, and a couple of his other wives, mainly when he drank. He was known to knock out teeth, blacken eyes, and other noticeable injuries along with those that didn't show. In spite of the bad feelings between them and a very messy divorce, he never laid a hand on any of us kids. That doesn't mean I don't believe any man would, but it does mean that I know that some men don't take their anger out on the kids. MOO

I'd be thrilled to take dad out of the equation.

But until he's officially cleared, he has to be considered. Statistically speaking, its almost always someone in the child's inner circle. Law enforcement always starts there then moves out.
 

ICUDOUCME

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thanks, Houston....got it now...a camera in Durango (that is if they went thru town; let's hope).

___

(((onelove)))

thank you for sharing and glad you and your kids are safe now!!

I couldn't see right where it says that camera is.
 

Ransom

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BBM

I don't know exactly what type of sonar was used, but acoustic imaging devices (side scan and sector scanning sonar systems in particular) used in underwater cadaver searches arestate-of-the-art and by no stretch of the imagination would be considered a "fish finder". JMO

Not being snarky, just wanting to set the record straight.

I agree that Equusearch could be of immense help in the search for Dylan. As I posted earlier on this thread, I also think the CUE Center for Missing Persons could be of enormous help as well.

I hope Dylan's family will take advantage of every possible resource.

http://www.pinerivertimes.com/news.asp?artid=1092

Here is Monday night's release from the La Plata County Sheriff's office: A two-day search of Vallecito Lake ended late Monday afternoon after extensive sonar sweeps found nothing.
The search was part of an eight-day effort to locate 13-year-old Dylan Redwine, who has been missing since Monday Nov. 19.

Two La Plata County Search & Rescue K-9’s alerted in an area on the south end of the lake Saturday and again on Sunday. Seven scuba divers from the New Mexico State Police Search & Recovery Team
searched the south end of the lake Sunday afternoon without finding anything suspicious. Visibility under water was 7 to 9 feet. Water temperature was 38 degrees. On Monday three different boats, including one with New Mexico State Police divers on board, used four different sonar systems to scan the bottom of the south end of the lake from shore to shore, along the length of the dam and several hundred yards out into the lake from the dam. After seven hours of sonar grid searches, nothing out of the ordinary was found. Due to a complete clearing of the area of the dogs, as well as the surrounding area, no further searches of the lake bottom are planned unless new information is developed.

There was a new item last night, here in NM with an interview with one of the divers. She said they would go back anytime, if LE requests their further assistance.
 

scorekeeper

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I am only adding info since I am familiar with the area. I did not go out there this past summer so things may have changed some. To my knowledge there are 4 grocery stores in Durango. The Walmart, which unless they needed something else besides groceries they would have not go in. Very busy place, long lines etc. There are two City Markets and an Albertsons. Bayfield does have one grocery store, I doubt it would have been open sunday night. Fast food? There is a Subway, A&W and a long John Silvers. That's in Bayfield and would have been opened that evening. Durango has the usual fast food places.

glad you came back to post.

can you tell me again the last time you were in the area? I know you said something about no cell service but I thought that was in 2011 or so?

I thought perhaps the text part of the phone might work?

TIA
 

SCHMAE

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I just wanna throw this out there cause this isn't the 1st case that's made me think about this. We all (me included) spend alot of time picking apart the tone, expressions, wording, emotions and reactions of the parents of missing children. Unfortunately, we've all seen so many cases where a parent was responsible that I think we almost look to them 1st. The thing is, because we are WSers, we spend a lot more time than your average Joe thinking about "what if my child was abducted". We all think we know just what we would and wouldn't do and just how those around us would react, but unless (God forbid) it happens to one of us, we really don't know. It's such an extreme circumstance. We don't even exactly know what Dylan's parents are thinking in their heart of hearts bc we all know we'd be thinking about Jessica Ridgeway because we have all "lost our innocence" regarding missing persons cases, but MR might really believe (if he is not involved) that Dylan ran off and is hiding somewhere, as absurd as that sounds to us here. And I'm sure that when Dylan's mom bad-mouthed MR in the press she did not realize the implications like we do here. KWIM?


Jmo

Amazing and insightful point ! :)
We are over analyzers by nature.
The people in my ' real life' are driven crazy by it.
Probably all of your family and friends too.

I wanted to add , along this same line of thinking, a personal story. We do think how we would react or say or do if we were in a situation like any of these. It's very easy to judge what looks right or correct or normal.
I had a situation, not nearly as drastic as this come up recently within my own family. I can tell you my reaction and words are NOT what I might have thought they would be. I even had someone say to me ' your reaction was all wrong' and I thought Who the heck are you to tell me how to react? I didn't expect this and didn't know what to do about it, so I ' reacted' in its purest form. It was a reaction, which means it was not a thought out plan or scheme, just a reaction.
So maybe we should go a little easier on both parents and wait for more info to come out .
 

Linda7NJ

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http://www.pinerivertimes.com/news.asp?artid=1092

Here is Monday night's release from the La Plata County Sheriff's office: A two-day search of Vallecito Lake ended late Monday afternoon after extensive sonar sweeps found nothing.
The search was part of an eight-day effort to locate 13-year-old Dylan Redwine, who has been missing since Monday Nov. 19.

Two La Plata County Search & Rescue K-9&#8217;s alerted in an area on the south end of the lake Saturday and again on Sunday. Seven scuba divers from the New Mexico State Police Search & Recovery Team
searched the south end of the lake Sunday afternoon without finding anything suspicious. Visibility under water was 7 to 9 feet. Water temperature was 38 degrees. On Monday three different boats, including one with New Mexico State Police divers on board, used four different sonar systems to scan the bottom of the south end of the lake from shore to shore, along the length of the dam and several hundred yards out into the lake from the dam. After seven hours of sonar grid searches, nothing out of the ordinary was found. Due to a complete clearing of the area of the dogs, as well as the surrounding area, no further searches of the lake bottom are planned unless new information is developed.

There was a new item last night, here in NM with an interview with one of the divers. She said they would go back anytime, if LE requests their further assistance.

So ....two dogs alerted on two days in the same area. What's the current like in that lake?
 

Confusion

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I'd be thrilled to take dad out of the equation.

But until he's officially cleared, he has to be considered. Statistically speaking, its almost always someone in the child's inner circle. Law enforcement always starts there then moves out.

I have no problem keeping him in the equation, nothing would add up without him, ER, DR, etc.; not that it seems to add up WITH them either. I just don't like to see him as the entire equation. I'm willing to believe there's still another factor (person) we don't know about, and there are definitely events we don't. If it eventually comes out that he did something, I'll accept it; in the meantime, I don't want to focus on him and end up missing someone or something that is more important to the solution. I hope that makes sense.
 

Abby Normal Again

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I do too. And I thnk that is the smartest thing to do. I don't think many of us are trained professionals. jmo
I am not a big fan of pseudosciences such as body language interpretation, or inexact sciences if you prefer that term. I mean no disrespect, research is just still very much in its infancy.

I think most people only have a basic understanding of its practical application and apply it across the board, not realizing that not all of us come from the same baseline. They only have a decent ability to interpret when you factor in that person's history and culture, and even then it yields impressions and ideas, not results.

Like a lie detector- good as an aid in the investigation process... but not admissible in court for a reason.
 
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