GUILTY FL - Dwayne & Pamela Hardy for child abuse, Seminole County, 2010

[Belinda]

I think there needs to be more advertising, for lack of a better word, encouraging adoption and fostering. I think many people, me for one, wouldn't have the slightest idea how to go about it. I also think many people don't realize how great the need truly is. For instance, when some of the children came from Haiti, there were literally hundreds of call inquiring about adopting them. The only thing I can think is they really don't understand how many children there are in the states who need to be adopted.

It also disappoints me that many people won't adopt a child once it reaches a certain age. They must have a young child or a baby. I had always planned to adopt a child. My health tanked before we were able to do anything like that. It is something I have always strongly believed in and it was a great disappointment to me that I was unable to do so. There are so many children already here that desperately need stable homes.

 

[Linda7NJ]

These people wanted these kids. My concern is, for what? I want to know if they were experienced fosters or if fostering these particular kids was their first foster placement. I want to know why go to the next step of adopting them only to treat them thus? Were they new to foster/adoptive parent scene? Did they bite off more than they could chew (no excuse) and find out they weren't cut out for this?

They obviously knew it was wrong else they would have displayed this behavior in front of friends, neighbors and others in the community. They did not, telling me they knew full well their abuse was just that - abuse.

I just don't get it. Why take some already abused, possibly emotionally screwed up kids and do this to them?? What was going on with these people? DId they have natural children in the home as well? If so were those children subjected to the same treatment? If they had previous foster children was this their technique with them as well? Frightening.

Some people adopt children after fostering them for the adoption subsidy, these two children, because they were siblings, would qualify for adoption subsidy. Adoption gets rid of the social works....and the checks come in the mail.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Missizzy - I know you are very experienced with these things and know in my heart that you are perfectly correct. My mind just screams when I hear of abused children being further abused within the system. It just makes me crazy. I also realize that an adopted child is far less likely to be abused than a biological child. An abused child is an abused child, whether biological, fostered or adopted. I don't know what the answer is. I do think we have a duty to ensure that children who have already been abused, not be further abused. How we accomplish that I haven't the faintest idea. To hear of abused children being subsequently abused just pushes me over the edge.

Sad truth, children in fostercare oftentimes suffer abuse, FAR worse than the home they were removed from.

 

[Missizzy]

I've worked in adoption advocacy for years and my specialty is in post adoption services, subsidy and support. My job was to represent families and children seeking retroactive eligibility or increased and more appropriate subsidies after finalization at the State Fair Hearing level. I served as the family's representative and wrote the legal briefs. I also consulted with the federal government on adoption subsidy trends and issues in California and Oregon. If anyone is interested in learning about subsidies, I highly recommend reading the fact sheets on the Children's Bureau website or here:

www.nacac.org

Per the Child Welfare Act of 1980, the federal mandate has been to encourage the permanent placement of children in homes with adoption support. States are even under mandate to promote the education of the general public on the availability of adoption subsidies for waiting and special needs children. No means test concerning the family's level of income is permitted. The federal law states that children are entitled to a monthly stipend up to but no more than the child would qualify for in IV-E foster care. Families can certainly opt out of the program and can ask for a re-evaluation of the child's level of stipend as often as necessary. It is also important to remember that the cap is what "would be appropriate for the child in foster care at the present time" not when the child was placed. The federal government set the program up in this manner, per the Issue Briefs of 1980, in an attempt to minimize adoption dissolutions and disruptions due to increasing behavioral needs as a child matures.

It is not only an adoptive parent's right to advocate for their child's subsidy, but their responsibility. The linkage to IV-E federal funds, also makes the child categorically eligible for a full medical card up until the age of 18 or 21 (depending on the state) and for numerous other services. Studies have shown that appropriate subsidies are linked to higher adoption success rates. My own experience mirrors that.

Richard Barth and the West-stat study have shown over and over that adoption assistance paid to an adoptive parent FOR the needs of the child saves the counties, states, and federal government. Placing a child in a permanent home also highly increases that child's opportunities for lifetime success. Adoption assistance costs the US taxpayer approximately one seventh the cost of foster care.

If anyone has specific questions or would like more links to studies and laws, I'm always happy to answer question through a PM.

 

[Missizzy]

You are so right Belinda. Many people have no idea how to go about adopting a waiting child. If you ever happen to eat at a Wendy's Restaurant, you'll notice the Dave Thomas Foundation posters of waiting children. Look way down at the bottom, in tiny print. There should be a line that says "subsidy available". I worked for two years with NACAC and other advocates to have that line added!! Dave was a huge promoter of adoption as he was adopted himself. Along with Dave, the Kellogg Foundation, and the Casey Foundation fund the North American Council on Adoptable Children. They lobby for greater education on adoption. As I've said so many times, their website listed above is a wonderful place to educate yourself. So many children are waiting and the federal government has validated the fact that it takes a lot more than a good heart and love. It takes funding and support.

Here's a link to Wendy's Wonderful Kids:

http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/Home



The FAQ (everything you could possibly think to ask):

http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/Adoption-Facts/F-A-Q-



And about subsidies specifically:

http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/Adoption-Facts/F-A-Q-#FAQ14



You'll note that the Dave Thomas Foundation works hand in hand with NACAC. In other words, Dave Thomas paid for my training!! I'm proud to say we adopted one of Dave's Kids. Yes, our guy was on a poster. He's 24 now and doing so well.

And remember, even a prospective parent's disability does not preclude adoption. I know an adoptive father with over 20 sons who is a quadriplegic. We certainly didn't stop when I became bedbound. Even as my illness worsens, we still get the occasional call.

There's a huge huge need.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I hope I didn't offend by implying that the only reason people adopt is for the subsidy.

I simply meant the adoptive parents in this article obviously did it for the money, it certainly wasn't their love for the children in their care!

 

[Missizzy]

Never, Linda. You know me, I always try to use the most awful circumstances to educate everyone about a subject near and dear to my heart. You are correct that some people "do it for the money" without the love attached. The issue of subsidies is a hard thing to explain when you haven't lived this life.

In my opinion, these people were either in over their heads via pushing by DHS and/or they've always had a cruel streak. I have no idea if they started out with good intentions or not. Most do. The fact that other children in the home were not abused is a common situation. Often, a single child or two can be scapegoated and that's awful.

The subject of subsidies can be a slippery one as I'm the first to admit that families can get lulled into taking on more than they are capable of. Then a child acts out and the family struggles to control them. It can become a house of cards and families can suffer in shamed silence. They need the subsidy as they've now set up their lives factoring in that subsidy--added on a bedroom, bought a bigger van, etc. They snap and abuse the child and everything goes downhill from there. They isolate themselves and their child being ever more afraid to ask for help knowing that they've broken rules and laws about child-raising. I have a feeling that this might be what happened here as the family had good references and some training.

Thank you for bringing this up. It's a valid point and one that DHS must constantly watch for. That's why I'm such a supporter of adoption support groups. They promote ongoing training and will often pair up experienced parents with new ones. They often have warmlines that can be called when things start to unravel. And things can certainly unravel when dealing with challenging children.

(((hugs)))

 

[Rayemonde]

August 2011:

On Monday, Circuit Judge Jessica Recksiedler sentenced [Panels] Hardy to 11 1/2 years in prison for aggravated child abuse and child neglect. The judge sentenced the defendant's husband, Dwayne Hardy, 50, to two years of prison...

Photos of the children showed permanent scars on their bottoms and marks on their hands. The boy was so thin from a lack of food his skin was ashen and his ribs stuck out, according to evidence.

Pam Hardy didn't take the stand, but she wrote a long letter to the judge which basically blamed the victims, IMO.

From the start, the boy pulled food from the garbage can. He also lied and stole things from stores, she wrote. The little girl, although six years old, had toileting issues, Pam Hardy wrote.

"We had no idea what awaited us," she wrote

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com...jessica-recksiedler-dwayne-hardy-pamela-hardy
What a piece of work.

 

[Rayemonde]

Panels Hardy and Dwayne Hardy

http://www.mynews13.com/content/new..._accused_of_torturing_2_adopted_children.html

 

[pappa rob]

That couple sure don't look like they ever skipped a meal.. I'd go without food before my kids or grandkids went hungry.