FL - Fendra Molme, 11 months, dies in hot car while parents attend church, Palm Bay, May 2023 *arrest*

imstilla.grandma

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I just can not shake the feeling that she left the baby in the car to sleep, meaning to come back for her shortly, thinking she’d sleep awhile after a good breakfast and a full tummy while she got started with her church session. But… she forgot about her baby girl after she got busy in her routine. -or- mom could have meant to ask a church member to bring her in once she got her kids inside -or- the church member was actually the 8 year old child. And then… she couldn’t admit the truth while she was in shock and then stayed with her story. Idk something is off.
 
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MsMarple

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The arrest affidavit doesn’t specify when the mother believed a church member had retrieved her baby but since no church member greeted her upon arrival I’d think she knew.

It kind of doesn’t matter though because she’s not claiming she forgot her baby in the car but instead says she depended upon a church member getting the baby and attending to her during the service. According to the affidavit that was the typical routine.

Perhaps because she parked in a different spot from her normal place church members didn’t see her arrive. In any case she was in a hurry due to being late and forgot to check that someone actually did get the baby.

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IceIce9

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I just can not shake the feeling that she left the baby in the car to sleep, meaning to come back for her shortly, thinking she’d sleep awhile after a good breakfast and a full tummy while she got started with her church session. But… she forgot about her baby girl after she got busy in her routine. -or- mom could have meant to ask a church member to bring her in once she got her kids inside -or- the church member was actually the 8 year old child. And then… she couldn’t admit the truth while she was in shock and then stayed with her story. Idk something is off.
JMO I feel something is off as well.

I think it could have happened exactly as you said.
 

georgiajean

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I believe this is a tragic case of broken routine and over-rushed caregiver under a lot of pressure (Late! pressure of congregation waiting, 4 young children, being co-pastor, all eyes on her, etc.).

Typical routine: Arrive at 9:30. Park in front of door. Church member meets her to get equipment to set up. Church member helps with children takes baby inside. Half an hour or more to set up for service.

Tragic Day's routine: Arrive at 10:20. Park on side. No church member helps with equipment. No church member helps with children. Congregation all inside waiting for service. Mother walks in and has to jump right into the service.

I can see how it could happen. In some respects, it is very much like the people who leave children strapped in the car and go into work. The parent who thinks they dropped the child off at daycare when they didn't. The parent who thinks the other parent took the child to daycare. So very horrific, and this family will be reeling from this for ever
 

neesaki

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TxLady2

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I'm not sure if the mother deserves prison, that's not up to me to decide anyway, but this whole thing could have been avoided. We can think of 100 different scenarios to fit what facts there are in her favor, but it doesn't bring that baby back. She could have 5 more kids in the next few years and it still won't bring that baby back. Maybe her guilty feelings, if she has any, and I'm sure she does, will be enough of a punishment for her. Sooner than later someone is going to say something unforgiving to her.... like hubby, or in-laws, or just a friend and it's going to hit her. Or she will hear another child laughing, or hear a particular song.., and it will keep reminding her. I feel for her and for the dad. And the other children as well.
 

10ofRods

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I don't think she even unbuckled the 2 yr old. According to her, she got out of the car and went right to the trunk to get her bible and laptop, and then she saw her 3 older kids walking towards church already, supposedly with an older woman.

So it seems that the 8 yr old probably unbuckled the 2 yr old. I know my 8 yr old grand daughter loves to look after her little cousins and she knows how to unbuckle their car seats and stuff. There's no way I could walk away from the car with a baby inside, if my 8 yr old grand daughter was there with me.

That's something I still wonder about. Why the 8 and 5 yr old walked away, with the baby still inside. They must have assumed their Mom was going to get the baby. So I still don't understand why she didn't. JMO

I know she said she thought a friend from church had her---but it doesn't seem possible, that at the time she left the car, she could have thought someone else had the baby already. Video showed that no adults had come anywhere near the car during the time she was there.

I think she was distracted and frazzled and just hurried because she was late.

I agree with everything you wrote. And I'll add, "A parent who is too frazzled to remember one of their children needs to be forced to examine their life choices, somehow." Distracted and frazzled is not an excuse for forgetting to care for one's baby. All parents have been there; all mothers have been there. All mothers know "frazzled." But we also know it's not an excuse for babies to be left in deadly circumstances.

First things first. The law pretty much codifies that. WHY this woman was so distracted (due to lateness alone?) is what should be the focus in her eventual sentencing. I'd like to think that 10 years of supervision and parenting classes might be enough, but I'd sure hate to be the one putting any other children at risk with a mom capable of being so frazzled. I'd want some professionals to tell me she had a grip on her lifestyle, somehow.

But putting her in jail or prison (and depriving the three remaining kids of a mom) seems not quite the right sentence, to me.

IMO.
 

Angiebla

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I have a somewhat experience like this...when my kid was about a year and a half, when I was buckling him into his car seat, he (unbeknownst to me) took my key fob. When I closed the door, I heard the car lock. I immediately called 911 (and about 10 times after that bc they werent coming fast enough) I was so powerless. They windows had some anti-theft protection so the officers couldnt break it. It was the scariest 20 min of my life. My kid was crying and I was crying. An ambulance came and checked him out but he was fine.
Accidents do and can happen. But Im not sure IMO this was an accident. Not saying she tried to kill her kid but it bothers me when when adults expect minor children to be babysitters. Its a pet peeve of mine.
 

imstilla.grandma

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Hopefully a few of y’all will hop on over to this hot car baby death case posted the same day and share your thoughts. I posted the thread in a different forum as there are no charges as of yet. My error as the case is just as tragic under similar circumstances. The autopsy results are pending during an active investigation.
 
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georgiajean

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I wonder why they were late that morning? I didn't see it in the affidavit. It seems like she was normally on time and this was different for her.
That, for me, is the big question, too. We may never know, especially if the other children were somehow involved in the being late and the being rushed...
I can see how if one of the children was responsible for the lateness by not getting ready in time, sleeping late, having to go back to get something, etc and then maybe harsh words were said at the house or on the way to the church about this, and thus the children didn't speak up about the baby, worried about getting more in trouble (I was like that as a kid, learned not to say anything, which was not a good thing). We don't know what the dynamics were like in the house. Was it a perfectionist household? Was it a "walking on eggshells" household? I hope the other children are doing alright, in these horrible circumstances, and do not blame themselves at all.
 

imstilla.grandma

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A new arrest affidavit reads that the girl’s mother, Pastor Bulaine Molme of the Mount of Olives Evangelical Baptist Church, thought her baby was asleep and in the care of another church member as Bulaine Molme led service.

Surveillance from the small plaza on Babcock Street south of Malabar Road recorded the emergency responders.

The affidavit reads that Bulaine Molme was devastated upon finding her baby unresponsive in her car seat.

The girl’s body temperature was 108 degrees.

In an interview with another church member, police said the member told detectives someone else would normally take care of Bulaine Molme’s baby in church, but on that morning, police said surveillance video showed Bulaine Molme and her three older children get out of the car — but no one grabbed the baby.

The report states that Bulaine Molme didn’t park in her usual parking spot in front of the entrance, where other members usually helped unloading the children and church equipment. Instead, she parked on the side of the building, the report shows.
 

neesaki

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A new arrest affidavit reads that the girl’s mother, Pastor Bulaine Molme of the Mount of Olives Evangelical Baptist Church, thought her baby was asleep and in the care of another church member as Bulaine Molme led service.

Surveillance from the small plaza on Babcock Street south of Malabar Road recorded the emergency responders.

The affidavit reads that Bulaine Molme was devastated upon finding her baby unresponsive in her car seat.

The girl’s body temperature was 108 degrees.

In an interview with another church member, police said the member told detectives someone else would normally take care of Bulaine Molme’s baby in church, but on that morning, police said surveillance video showed Bulaine Molme and her three older children get out of the car — but no one grabbed the baby.

The report states that Bulaine Molme didn’t park in her usual parking spot in front of the entrance, where other members usually helped unloading the children and church equipment. Instead, she parked on the side of the building, the report shows.
I still don’t get it. Why would she automatically assume this church member would care for the baby, especially if she didn’t hand her over to them, and parked in a completely different parking spot…. apparently out of view of the front door. If she’s being truthful, she must’ve really been mentally disconnected, or something.
 

*LD*

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I still don’t get it. Why would she automatically assume this church member would care for the baby, especially if she didn’t hand her over to them, and parked in a completely different parking spot…. apparently out of view of the front door. If she’s being truthful, she must’ve really been mentally disconnected, or something.
Her parking in a different spot it very odd, especially since it has been said it is a more shady spot.

IMO, she parked in the shade on purpose and left the sleeping baby. MOO
 

PayrollNerd

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She arrived late so her regular parking spot may have already been taken. I’m thinking the older kids unbuckled the toddler. They probably thought their mother would unbuckle and carry the infant. But with the Sunday routine out of whack, Mom was definitely distracted, with catastrophic results. JMO
 

*LD*

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She arrived late so her regular parking spot may have already been taken. I’m thinking the older kids unbuckled the toddler. They probably thought their mother would unbuckle and carry the infant. But with the Sunday routine out of whack, Mom was definitely distracted, with catastrophic results. JMO
It is said that she usually pulled up and parked right in front of the door.

I would be shocked if a regular partitioner parked in the Preacher's Spot. That would be a bold move.
 

Megnut

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She arrived late so her regular parking spot may have already been taken. I’m thinking the older kids unbuckled the toddler. They probably thought their mother would unbuckle and carry the infant. But with the Sunday routine out of whack, Mom was definitely distracted, with catastrophic results. JMO
Fatal whack.

Off track, out of step, distracted.

Scenario-- arrive late, sleeping baby, park in shade, plan to run in, plan to send designated church lady out for children. Go to trunk, see children scurrying inside, mentally check off children.

I think her brain miscalculated and associated the visible children with the church member who she didn't see but her brain paired --

I think she went in fully relieved her children were in good hands, all of them.... and never question it.

For those who suggest leaving a shoe or handbag or teddy bear as a brain billboard, I think she had her four children as a whole. When she saw three going in, her brain tallied four.

That simple. That easy. That devastating.

We read about parents who do evil things to their children every day ... willful, depraved, the worst beyond worst.

And then there are accidents. Born of distraction, assumption, justnotthinking, or skippingastepwithoutrealizing it. IMO it does us no good to demonize that. It is horror enough all on its own.

I can't imagine carrying the weight of that forward....

The world is not a better or safer place if she is imprisoned .... thousands of hours of community service may, however, save some other parent this nightmare.

Jmo
 
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PayrollNerd

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It is said that she usually pulled up and parked right in front of the door.

I would be shocked if a regular partitioner parked in the Preacher's Spot. That would be a bold move.
Do you know if the video or any photos show reserved parking for pastoral staff? Could her husband have parked in that spot, if so.

Not trying to take sides, just compiling facts that led to this happening. Other parents hearing how easy, difficult, odd, strange or whatever adjective one wants to assign, can hopefully raise awareness.
 

Ontario Mom

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Do you know if the video or any photos show reserved parking for pastoral staff? Could her husband have parked in that spot, if so.

Not trying to take sides, just compiling facts that led to this happening. Other parents hearing how easy, difficult, odd, strange or whatever adjective one wants to assign, can hopefully raise awareness.
Generally, church members know where the pastor parks (even if it's not marked reserved for pastoral staff), and they'd never park there just out of respect.

jmo
 
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