FL - Fendra Molme, 11 months, dies in hot car while parents attend church, Palm Bay, May 2023 *arrest*

[Cedars]

It's easy to forget things when you're focusing on something else. I have lost count of how many times I've started cooking something, walked outside to do so yardwork, and walked back in to find burned food and a house filled with smoke. I'm sure that's happened to me at least 100 times. As soon as I walk away from the stove I completely forget that I'm cooking.

That's what I meant, some of us chronically become preoccupied and forgetful, and I really wonder whether that was true in these kinds of cases.

If that is our tendency, then we can acknowledge that and create tricks to remind ourselves. And it's critical with a baby.

For eg, from experience, I always set a loud timer before stepping out of the kitchen, I take my wallet out of my bag and place it by my keys, etc.

People can set a reminder on their phone, wear a big cheap ring that means 'baby', sit on a scrap of paper that says "baby on board", just don't leave it to your memory if you know it's fallible.

JMO

 

[imstilla.grandma]

The baby girl had been in the car outside the storefront church in Palm Bay, Florida, where her parents are pastors, for three hours Sunday when she was discovered and rushed to a nearby hospital where she was pronounced dead, authorities said.

Florida baby left inside hot car dies while parents are at church service

An 11-month-old baby died after being left alone in a hot car while her parents were inside a church for services along Florida's Space Coast, authorities said.

fox11online.com

But you are not supposed to be 'focusing on something else' when you are caring for an 11 month old baby. You cannot walk outside and do yard work and forget your 11 month old is alone in the house, toddling around, unsupervised. That's how babies get seriously injured or worse.

You cannot forget your baby is in the car, strapped in her car seat for three hours, in Florida in May. That is a death sentence.

<modsnip: If you know you're going to catch hell for it, then don't say it.>

 

[BrownRice]

I watched Trica's channel the other day and insightful one mentioned this documentary on amazon prime called
Death of a child .
They have doctors talk about the reason people forget their children in the car,but I noticed that in 2 cases talked about ,the parent were at church . This case is the third in 2 days I heard happening at church.
Death of a Child (2017) - IMDb

I watched that too. Very sad.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Everyone please realize that if temperatures are high enough, it takes a very short time for a baby or pet to pass away in a car. So if you're going to offer grace and love to our fellow poster here who admitted that she accidentally forgot her baby for 5 minutes, we should give that grace to this family too. Sometimes a tragedy is just an accident.

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

Everyone please realize that if temperatures are high enough, it takes a very short time for a baby or pet to pass away in a car. So if you're going to offer grace and love to our fellow poster here who admitted that she accidentally forgot her baby for 5 minutes, we should give that grace to this family too. Sometimes a tragedy is just an accident.

This is a very compassionate post that I want so badly to agree with. But 5 minutes locked in a car where I live in the middle of summer could have (and has) resulted the same way. I want to believe that we all try hard to be responsible and when we mess up, we take accountability and deal with the consequences.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

This is a very compassionate post that I want so badly to agree with. But 5 minutes locked in a car where I live in the middle of summer could have (and has) resulted the same way. I want to believe that we all try hard to be responsible and when we mess up, we take accountability and deal with the consequences.

Don't most families take accountability and deal with the consequences, though?

 

[Cedars]

Everyone please realize that if temperatures are high enough, it takes a very short time for a baby or pet to pass away in a car. So if you're going to offer grace and love to our fellow poster here who admitted that she accidentally forgot her baby for 5 minutes, we should give that grace to this family too. Sometimes a tragedy is just an accident.

I agree that forgiveness is important for our own mental health, but many people just can't so easily forgive.

A woman I know was so concientious about her own children, she became enraged if someone else was not as careful as she was. I found out her 1 year old sister had died in an accident, when her mother had became preoccupied, and her mother kind of collapsed and depended too much on this 10 year old daughter.

So I think it's important to also forgive those who may seem harsh in their judgements. Often, they've had their own trauma, or have trouble forgiving themselves, etc.

JMO

 

[ChatteringBirds]

So I think it's important to also forgive those who may seem harsh in their judgements. Often, they've had their own trauma, or have trouble forgiving themselves, etc.

True, I agree with this also.

 

[Cedars]

Don't most families take accountability and deal with the consequences, though?

No, I don't think so. The accidental death of a baby can cause marital breakdown, because parents grieve differently, the other children don't know how to process the event or the emotions...perhaps in this case, their belief system and community will make it easier. JMO

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

Don't most families take accountability and deal with the consequences, though?

I think there are usually a ton of excuses. It's not often I've heard the parents of a child who died from their negligence say, "I messed up, I wasn't paying attention. It's my fault." Publicly, anyway. I've no idea what they may think or say privately.

Excuses, i.e., I was running late for work, I am not usually the one who takes the baby to daycare, it's a new car and the car seat is different, I was on the phone, etc. No excuse is ok.

Sorry, I am backing out of this thread. It is too close to home, literally and figuratively.

 

[Ozoner]

But you are not supposed to be 'focusing on something else' when you are caring for an 11 month old baby. You cannot walk outside and do yard work and forget your 11 month old is alone in the house, toddling around, unsupervised. That's how babies get seriously injured or worse.

You cannot forget your baby is in the car, strapped in her car seat for three hours, in Florida in May. That is a death sentence.

It's easier to say that than to abide by it, especially if a routine takes over. That's why I'm wondering whether they had a routine that did not include taking the baby to church.

 

[katydid23]

Don't most families take accountability and deal with the consequences, though?

Not really. Some do, I'm sure. But some don't.

 

[katydid23]

It's easier to say that than to abide by it, especially if a routine takes over. That's why I'm wondering whether they had a routine that did not include taking the baby to church.

I would think the pastor and his wife would take all the children to church. An 11 month old is walking and engaging, so why leave her somewhere else?

 

[ifindedout]

The church does have a Sunday school in the suite adjacent to the sanctuary (see the VBS pics from 7/29/2022), so its not like there wasn't daycare.
Log into Facebook

 

[MyBelle]

Mother charged in death of baby, one count of aggravated manslaughter:

Mother charged for leaving infant in hot car to go to church, Palm Bay police say

Investigators found that Molme had left her baby in her car when she arrived late at church for a service.

www.wesh.com

Police say Molme was running late to a service that she was officiating and thought someone from the church brought her daughter inside.

 

[iamshadow21]

Mother charged in death of baby, one count of aggravated manslaughter:

Mother charged for leaving infant in hot car to go to church, Palm Bay police say

Investigators found that Molme had left her baby in her car when she arrived late at church for a service.

www.wesh.com

Police say Molme was running late to a service that she was officiating and thought someone from the church brought her daughter inside.

The crime of Aggravated Manslaughter is a First Degree Felony that is punishable up to 30 years in prison and $10,000 fine. (From the link below.)

What is aggravated manslaughter in Florida? (It's a defense attorney website, but I found it easy to understand as a layperson.)

If this goes to court without some kind of plea bargain, I can see the argument fought being on the matter of reckless disregard for human life, and the defense trying to claim it was just basic negligence.

MOO

 

[EmiliaRT007]

No one in church asked after the baby? Parents didn't think it was kinda quiet during the sermon that day? I don't understand how this could happen.

My thoughts exactly. Pure neglect here IMO. At least. AT LEAST! If there’s someone they trusted with the baby who could babysit then they should have left her with said person. If they could they could have just brought her in with them and found something to keep her calm.

 

[EmiliaRT007]

The crime of Aggravated Manslaughter is a First Degree Felony that is punishable up to 30 years in prison and $10,000 fine. (From the link below.)

What is aggravated manslaughter in Florida? (It's a defense attorney website, but I found it easy to understand as a layperson.)

If this goes to court without some kind of plea bargain, I can see the argument fought being on the matter of reckless disregard for human life, and the defense trying to claim it was just basic negligence.

MOO

Disgusting on the parents part. She was neglected like trash. No regard for her. RIP sweet baby.

 

[Lilibet]

What would any of us say to a dear friend who left their baby in the car? Something to think about.

I had occasion to find out. I hope comfort is what most of us would give. A young friend, a very good Mom with three boys, called and asked me to come over as she needed to talk about something. When I got there, she tearfully told me that she had left her youngest (about a year old) in the car for 20 minutes on a warm day while she ran into Target to get a few things. She had forgotten he was there and when she came out, her car was surrounded by angry people and the police were there. He was OK, but she was devastated, destroyed, to think she had forgotten him.

She said to me, “Can God ever forgive me?” No excuses, just humility and remorse! I wrapped my arms around her and said “Of course!” and we cried together and talked about faith, love and forgiveness (in between kiddo interruptions). I’m not sure she ever forgave herself though. But I know she learned from the reason (not excuse) it happened (as we all can)…lots of family visiting and she thought he stayed home with his grandpa as had been planned. As in most of these cases, it was a slight change in the routine or plan that caused the memory lapse. Had she been charged, I know she would have accepted whatever punishment the court decided. As it was, CPS got involved and she had to take a parenting class.

She’s a good person, a good Mom. This one big mistake does not change that. I’m not going to ever say “I would NEVER forget MY child.” I’m not perfect, even though I was a very careful Mom like my friend. Good people who are careful Moms and Dads can make terrible, life-altering mistakes for very human reasons. They will pay the price, of course, and it will be a far steeper price than any court can impose.

If the mother on this thread were your good friend, what would you say to her?

JMO

 

[ChatteringBirds]

If she truly thought someone brought her daughter inside, then she truly thought someone brought her daughter inside. She didn't purposely leave her in the car. MOO.