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General Discussion Thread No. 18

Discussion in 'Madeleine McCann' started by colomom, Oct 21, 2007.

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  1. Shazza

    Shazza Former Member

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    Becoming a foster parent takes a very special person, I personally could not do it, as another poster mentioned I too would become to motionally attached and not let go, kudos to you Calikid for being one of those special people who has the love to give so many in need and then make them part of your family permanently. I have always had the greatest respect for you Calikid and the more I learn about you the more special you are to me and to all the children you have loved.:clap:
     
  2. CaliKid

    CaliKid Former Member

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    Thanks everyone. We got into foster parenting when I was in my 20s and turned to adoption- after the birth of our oldest son I ended up with fertility problems and couldn't have more children. Sixty-something children later, social services decided I was too confrotational because I wouldn't shut up over brainless decisions concerning my foster children, and I was given the choice to walk away or have my license taken away. It hurt too much to see children returned to birthparents who had no intentions of straightening up their lives. The damage these drug addicts due to their babies in-utero is monstrous, and all you have to do is look around you to see the results. Crime, violence, learning disabilities, mental retardation and even more drug addiction.
     
  3. txsvicki

    txsvicki Active Member

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    I think the poster was talking about some of the adoptive parents who just get the special needs subsidy and then starve the kids and disabled adults that they are supposed to care for, but thank goodness for the good ones who bond and love their kids. Personally, I would love to receive any form of subsidy or funds like a foster parent since mine are special needs, but grandparents and family get practically nothing in the form of actual money in my state.
     
  4. AfterMidnight

    AfterMidnight Former Member

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    Don't get your panties in a twist! I know plenty of foster parents and some ought to be in jail. Of course there are some good ones, but some are horrid, grasping, greedy, viscious perverts and don't try to tell me there aren't any. No group of people are all bad or all good. If you're the salt of the earth, that's wonderful but not all foster parents are and many of them make the headlines.
     
  5. CaliKid

    CaliKid Former Member

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    I never said there weren't any. In fact, I do know a few foster parents who shouldn't even be taking care of pets, much less children. But as you said:
    The bolding and underline are mine.

    A great many foster parents are caring, wonderful people. It's only a few of them who are in it for the money or don't care about the children they care for.
     
  6. AfterMidnight

    AfterMidnight Former Member

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    So I gather we're talking about the numbers of good vs bad foster parents? I come from the greater Phila area and let me tell you, it would curl your hair. I'd rather my grandchildren lived under a bridge. . .

    I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and I apologoize if I did. I know there are some good ones, but the ones who aren't scare me silly.
     
  7. CaliKid

    CaliKid Former Member

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    That must be very hard on you because I know how difficult it is to care for special needs children, even with financial help.
     
  8. CaliKid

    CaliKid Former Member

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    Apology accepted.

    Unfortunately, it's the ones who aren't good foster parents that we read about in the news. Foster parents who, as you say, are in it for the money and abuse the children in their care, or get angry and kill a child or accidentally leave one in a hot car on a summer's day.

    You seldom hear about the good ones because they just go about their business doing their jobs.

    Anyways, back to Madeleine.
     
  9. ThoughtFox

    ThoughtFox Expecting the Unexpected

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    October 30, 2007
    Police return to McCann apartment in attempt to solve Madeleine mystery

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2766899.ece

    and

     
  10. emery

    emery New Member

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    Thanks Desertpea for pointing me to those links.

    I had heard about the ring in Portugal, but that isn't really the type of ring that is alleged to have taken Madeleine McCann. The ring described in the first link operated inside Portugal and preyed on Portugese orphans at an orphanage. They didn't abduct middle class children with parents and spirit them away to other countries. If anything, this tends to prove the point that pedophile rings who prey on children they do not know don't generally prey on children like Madeleine. They prey on vulnerable children who have no support system or protection.

    As far as online pedophile rings go, I have no doubt they exist and are growing. But, I think they band together on the internet (as opposed to in the real world) primarily to share images of child pornography. I don't think they've formed some sort of covert group that abducts western, middle-class children. They get the images they share by preying on their own children or the children of close friends or relatives. Or they go to third world countries and prey on street children.

    The key sentences in the second link, for purposes of this discussion at any rate, are:

    "It was unclear whether any of the rescued children had been reported missing, but authorities said the investigation was not linked to the widely publicized disappearance of Madeleine McCann, a 4-year-old British girl who vanished nearly two months ago in southern Portugal. "

    I would venture to guess that almost none of the children rescued during that investigation was an adbucted child, or at least not a child abducted from a middle class western family.
     
  11. emery

    emery New Member

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    Thanks for the welcome colomom. I have a 4 year old son who is only a few months older than Madeleine. Her disappearance has really haunted me I suppose because they are so close in age and I can't imagine what it would be like if he disappeared while we were on holiday.

    Also, I work in the judicial system and have seen enough internet child pornography cases to be vary wary of the internet and to regulate closely my children's access to the internet. I also believe there are more pedophiles walking among us undetected than most people think. Of course, you could make yourself crazy thinking too much about it. But, I try to keep a watchful eye out and trust my instincts as a parent.
     
  12. ThoughtFox

    ThoughtFox Expecting the Unexpected

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    http://www.christiantoday.com/artic...nths.since.madeleines.disappearance/14282.htm

    Low-key service to mark six months since Madeleine's disappearance

    Also, From Paulo Reis:

    http://www.anorak.co.uk/twitterings/177197.html

     
  13. twinkiesmom

    twinkiesmom New Member

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    Originally Posted by AfterMidnight


    The same applies for many adoptive parents, especially where some special needs children are concerned. Some adoptive parents are given aid for the child's care. Again, money in pocket - not spent on the child. Again, adoptive parents have no biological stake in these kids, and sometimes there isn't any bonding at all.

    I don't believe one can equate fostering and adopting to going through in vitro with an actual birth process. Just my opinion of course.
    _____________________________________________

    Many biological parents are simply sperm or womb donors. Any crackhead can give birth...I suppose that makes them more special than those of us who have chosen to devote our lives to children who were discarded like garbage on the system.
     
  14. SleuthMom

    SleuthMom Former Member

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    I think I opened a can of worms with my initial statement. My whole point is that it is silly to me to say that just because you gave birth to a child you are somehow more bonded to your kid than an adoptive parent. Same applies to someone who goes through invitro. When you really LOVE your child, it does not matter whether it came from your belly, the court system or wherever. Just because the Mc Canns went through invitro it means absolutely nothing to me.

    You don't become a mom just because you can naturally can give birth but is about the decisions you make. They left their 3 kids alone for a whole week while they went out to dine with friends, this is the kind of decisions that shows what kind of concern/lack thereof they had for their own kids.

    Children are NOT a "family accessory" and I personally believe the Mc Canns used those kids as such. Unfortunately, there are many "parents" out there who love to hear the comments about their beautiful kids and how nice and cute they look but they are not ready to take up the responsibilities attached to it.
     
  15. JMCDAD

    JMCDAD New Member

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    McCanns admit using Madeleine fund to pay mortgage
    I don't think that was the purpose of this fund
    Why would 2 doctors needs money to pay their mortgage anyway ?
     
  16. Rino

    Rino Former Member

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    On the mirror forums they discuss the fund at length. Some very interesting points
    1. the fund is not a charity, it is a business.
    2. It was registered 12 days after her going missing. A very short time window. If a child is missing less that 11 days, why the need to set up a "fund" at all at that point rather than let the press, public and the police get on with the search? Additionally, since many high profile Europeans offerered millions to help find Maddie why not a charitable fund simply for the bookkeeping proceedures? And, as one pointed out, just how many in the public would be sending money to donate to help find a child missing merely days at that point?
    3. A "fight fund" was alread established on May 17, to help with legal expenses - why? They were not even close to being names suspects yet.
    4. Madeleine has been "trade marked" yuck!


    http://forums.mirror.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=24313&highlight=search+maddie
    Times OnlineOctober 30, 2007

    Madeleine fund has stopped paying McCann's mortgageDavid Brown
    The fund set up to help to find Madeleine McCann has revealed that it stopped paying for her parents’ mortgage after they were made official suspects in her disappearance.

    The Find Madeleine fund, which has raised £1.09 million from public donations, agreed to make two payments on the McCann’s £460,000 home in Rothley, Leicestershire.

    However, the payments stopped when Kate and Gerry McCann were made suspects on September 7. The fund also ruled that it would not help to pay the couple’s legal bills.
     
  17. Rino

    Rino Former Member

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    Absolutley. Well said. I don't think it was you that opened that can of worms ;)

    CaliKid, what a wonderful way to spread love and caring, god bless you.

    I know several natural parents who should have their kids taken and we read everyday of natural parents who belong and are in jail. The entire debate is meritless imo.
     
  18. ThoughtFox

    ThoughtFox Expecting the Unexpected

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    According to the Times, these are the purposes of the Maddie Fund:

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article2771369.ece

    So it does say "financial assistance" for the family, which would mean helping them pay their mortgage.

    But that article also says the fund isn't paying for the house anymore.
     
  19. gord

    gord New Member

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    hmm whats your point - are you saying the fund is in some way a ruse to make lots of money for the Mcaans - I am not sure what you are trying to imply

    the charity things is explained here

    In England & Wales, registered charities are required to demonstrate public benefit. Because Madeleine’s Fund is currently focussed on searching for one child, Madeleine McCann, it cannot register as a charity. However, it may be able to register as a charity in the future.

    At the point the Fund starts to focus on abductions generally, public benefit may be demonstrable and the Fund may be able to register as a charity.


    In my mind the fund was set up as quiclk as it was in order to gain maximum impact in the early days - everything I have ever read says that as early as you can and as loud as you can - the mcaans with help decided they were not going to sit back and just wait - they were going to do something - or at least try - what is so wrong with that ?

    From what I can see - the directors of the fund are independent and following very open and clear guidlines - with auditors as all limited companies HAVE to do when they register their accounts .

    There is an article on the front page of THIS site that says if the unimaginable happens and a child of your goes missing then it is up to YOU to do what you can - do everything possible -
     
  20. JMCDAD

    JMCDAD New Member

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    I wouldn't have as much of an issue if these were lower or middle class folks that live paycheck to paycheck, but 2 doctors ?
    One doctor's salary is usually enough to live a pretty good upper middle class to wealthy life, but 2 doctors salaries....??
    and you need to take money from a fund that is set up to help find your daughter...??
     
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