GOOD Parents!!

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by Amraann, Feb 27, 2006.

  1. Amraann

    Amraann Former Member

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    http://www.nbc4.tv/family/7409834/detail.html

    He was suspended from school for using foul language. But that wasn't punishment enough to Jamal's family.


    They made the teenager stand on a street corner with a sign telling the world about his dirty mouth. After standing on a corner in Portage for four hours, Jamal said he's learned his lesson.

    The rest is at link.


    Good for them!!!! I think they showed their son without harming him that bad behavoir has repercussions.
    Those parents that cry "I just cna't control my teen" should take a leaf out of their book!
     
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  3. vanillasky

    vanillasky New Member

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    :clap: :laugh:
     
  4. Lauren

    Lauren Former Member

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    I bet he don't even say dang....:twocents:





    Thanks for reading my post!:rolleyes:
     
  5. blueclouds

    blueclouds Former member

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    amen parents. accountability, responsibility coupled with love, security and understanding = a very well disciplined highly effective human being!!!!!!!!


    GOOD FOR THEM! Gotta love creative parenting.
     
  6. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    I was about as strict as they come with solid rules and logical consequences to any poor behavior. But,I have never been into public humiliation. I don't get this at all.
    I would definitley have punished on top of the school's suspension, but this is odd to me. JMHO of course.
     
  7. Amraann

    Amraann Former Member

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    Nope, I am sorry Jbean .. this is called "creative parenting"

    IMO being conscious of what others think is pretty much what motivates most into "normal" behavoir anyhow.
    Teachers hve used this method always and still do. I do not always agree with it, but in this case this kid learned a valuable lesson. Obviously speaking like trash in public did not humilate him.

    Judges have also used this method for adults.
     
  8. michelle

    michelle Joy comes in the Morning

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    I seen them on the news, I forget what day it was but they were saying that they think this is appropriate punishment. Hey to each his own, I say whatever works for your family, have at it.....
     
  9. csds703

    csds703 Former Member

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    I agree with you. I also feel that kids should be held accountable for their bad behavior but I think this is a little over the top.
     
  10. michelle

    michelle Joy comes in the Morning

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    I would never humiliate my child especially in public, but i guess some families think that is the only way to get it through their childs head. I seen a show one time as well where a girl did something like drinking and driving or something and part of her punishment was to wear a sign outside and she was humiliated big time!!
     
  11. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    I have used plenty of creative parenting,with 5 boys! It is not easy to reign supreme in a house of testosterone :crazy:
    But as I say, humiliating publicly is counterproductive IMO. back to the days of stockades and throwing apples at bad people. not for me nope no way
    But I would imagine this kid was pretty out of control for them to have to go to these lengths, so maybe they have struggled with their parenting skills up to this point and are pulling out all the stops to gain control again.
     
  12. michelle

    michelle Joy comes in the Morning

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    Thats what it sounds like, the article said this was the second time he was suspended and he said there will not be a third, so maybe this felt like their only hope???
     
  13. CyberLaw

    CyberLaw Former Member

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    I guess I am not into "humiliation" either, talk about "degrading".

    But I am into taking away "the toys", going out, computer time, hanging out with friends, new items, phone, cell phone etc. The things that matter to kids and teens.

    I am also into: You swear, well you must pay for it. 5 bucks a shot. No credit. Can work it off........

    Reward the good behaviour, consequence the bad behavior. But with the natural consequences.

    Please....the "this is for your own good" is so yesterday along with "this will hurt me more then you".

    What if this happens next time....then what......tar and feather the child and then put him out on the street.............

    Or strip him down to his "shorts" and put him out on the street.....what is next.......

    I hope this child does not grow up to treat his children this way. Show your child love, respect, understanding, etc. Not abuse and humiliation.....that damages a child.

    I would never do this, as I have to look at myself in the mirror each morning.....and like what I see.

    I hope his mother is "of normal weight" because of course over eatting or not eatting properly is a "problem" that needs to be addressed.

    So I do hope this child gets a sign and carries it with him that say: My mother eats like a pig, she is too fat, look at her she is "overweight" last night she had 5 slices of chocolate cake. She is too fat........

    Do you think at this point the mother will say: I am never going to over eat again, I will lose weight.

    Please she will feel hurt and humiliated, that is the intent.......to harm.

    Humiliation is always regarded as a put down. In social contexts where it is regarded as "natural order" to have "higher" and "lesser" beings, "lesser" people are often routinely put down so as to "teach them lessons" and "remind" them of their due lowly place.

    So what is good for the son is just as good for the Mom. I bet the Mother taught the son the natural order of her "feeling" higher and the child being lower. Sure made the mom "feel" superior....to her own child.

    Humiliation of one person by another is often used as a way of asserting power over others, and is a common form of oppression or abuse.

    Still think that these people are good parents...........I don't.
     
  14. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    Sounds like maybe they are desperate..in which case I guess whatever gets the child's attention may work for them. But I would think the child is already out of control if they are resorting to this. I can not even imagined ever needing to parade any of my children up the street and tell the world they were bad. LOL!
     
  15. Jean

    Jean Former Member

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    For those of you interested...

    Poetic Justice Houston, Texas

    A felony court judge in Houston, Texas for more than 22 years, Judge Poe garnered national media attention for his “Poetic Justice” in sentencing criminals. Among his innovative punishments, Poe ordered thieves to carry signs in front of stores from which they stole; required men who abused their wives to publicly apologize on the steps of Houston’s City Hall; commanded sex offenders to place warning signs on their home after serving jail time; and directed murderers to securely place a photo of their victims on the wall of their prison cells creating a daily reminder of their crime.

    In 1999, Judge Poe helped craft pioneering legislation allowing Texas judges to order public notice of a crime in probation cases. His public punishment approach has been showcased through media venues such as 60 minutes, 20/20, Dateline, National Geographic, and Australian, German, French, Bulgarian, Japanese, and British newscasts. Frequently, Judge Poe has appeared on FOX News Channel, MSNBC, CNN, and numerous local news broadcasts as a political and legal analyst.


    http://www.house.gov/poe/biography.htm

    I have to say that I agree with Judge Poe's "Poetic Justice"...I have seen some of these people carrying their signs. I have also read what they had to say about "Poetic Justice" after they had carried their signs--they said they had learned a valuable lesson and didn't want to ever go through it again!

    I feel fortunate that we never had problems with our two sons. There were rules and expectations--if they broke the rules they knew there would be consequences. I don't think we would have let our sons get so out of control that we would find it necessary to resort to sign carrying--BUT, if that was the only option left, then yes I might have considered it--just don't know for sure.
     
  16. blueclouds

    blueclouds Former member

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    :clap: :clap: amraan


    I do NOT BELIEVE THIS IS PUBLIC HUMILIATION AND DEGRADING, I believe this is using methods to make people more accountable for their actions and making it public, well that gives that person, child or whatever a lot to think about. We're NOT TOUGH ENOUGH WITH SOCIETY ANY LONGER. Make people become accountable once again and make them answer to society. If we start taking harsher stances and give tough discipline from the get go or after one or two chances - then kids get the message that "this parent is serious".

    I believe convicted child molesters that are re-released into OUR CIVIL SOCIETY SHOULD BE BRANDED ON THEIR FACE PERIOD. Would that be public humilation or would you all be glad to know if you're living next door to a pervert because of methods like this?!

    I believe wife killers and husband killers should also have some type of branding so others won't get sucked in. I believe that rapists should have castration and possibly public marking of some sort.

    I believe that children/teens that have violent tendencies should NOT BE PROTECTED AND HIDDEN FROM SOCIETY - they should be right out there with society telling them "WE'LL NOT STAND FOR YOUR CRAP" PERIOD.

    That's why I love the 3 strikes law. AND I DON'T GIVE A CRAP if their 3rd strike is because they stole a lolipop.

    We're not tough enough.

    When I was growing up and if I pulled something on the neighbour (for example) and got caught, that neighbour would wip my hiney take me home and then my grandmother would do the same! You think I WOULD TRY SOMETHING AGAIN? NOPE. It scared the crap out of me knowing SOCIETY WAS WATCHING ME AND HOLDING ME ACCOUNTABLE.

    NOW - do I believe in physical punishment such as spanking my children. Well yes and no. 2 out of 3 of my children have each had one spank in their lifetime on the bum with a bare open hand. Using something like that as a method of regular discipline - forget it. It was only used as a last measure.

    So that's my 2cents on this.

    let's get tough people and maybe we'll raise less spoiled little brats like the SP'S OF THE WORLD.
     
  17. Amraann

    Amraann Former Member

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    Nice Post blueclouds!!!!!


    You worded it so well!
    I also want to add that maybe for these parents and that child THIS is what works. It may not work for all.
    I see nothing wrong with what they did. Clearly this kid wans't to worried about public humiliation while cussing in school or getting suspended.
    For some teens beig suspended would be humiliating.
    As for apples being thrown I think this is a far cry from that.
    This is accountability. And a Better lesson then the one he could harmfully learn if he thinks he can act that way in the real world away from teachers and parents.

    I am not so comfortable with this new trend to always be soo so worried about everyones little hurt feelings. Bottom line follow the rules and you won't have to worry about being publicly embarrassed.
    I think this trend is settign unrealistic expectations for our kids. Your boss isnt going to care about your every emotional trauma.
     
  18. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    I think much depends on how you were raised. Like Blue clouds says, she would have been whooped by her granny and her neighbor if she did something bad.
    I was not raised like that. My parents were extremely gentle and reasonable. My parents would never have humiliated me publicly for doing something like this, would not even have considered it. My dad probably would have stood up for my right to free speech and then taught me not to abuse it. He would have somehow got a good lesson in there about how a foul mouth kept me from getting somewhere. He was clever like that and the funny thing is I always got his point. The public humilation method would have been 100% counterproductive in my family.
    We all use our own upbringing as a yardstick with which to measure other parenting successes or failures and to gauge our own.

    I don't think public shame is teaching accountability. I think there are far more effective ways, but that's because that's how I was raised. Logical consequences to our misbehavior.
     
  19. Pepper

    Pepper Former Member

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    When our grandson Blake was about 7 he acted up in school. I can't remember his offense, but his mother was notified about it. For the next week she accompanied him to school every day and sat in the classroom with him all day! (She and the teacher were in agreement about it.) When the kids would ask why she was there, she told them she was there to help the teacher make sure Blake was behaving. It worked. She never had any more trouble with him!

    He is just the best kid. He is now 12, get's straight As, and is a fantastic athlete. And he is so protective of his younger sister and brother.
     
  20. Lauren

    Lauren Former Member

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    You do what you have to do sometimes. It's not fun for the parents. I am not into humilating a child, but I have worked with enough kids to know they don't listen and they don't get punished for their wrong doings. I remember when I got into trouble and what worked. Let me tell you I never ever did it again!!!!!!(Did other things of course):doh:
     
  21. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    Hi Pepper :blowkiss:
    I think this is a logical consequence to bad behavior in school. If you can't handle yourself on your own, you need to be monitored by a parent. I would have done this with my kids.
    This is far cry from standing on a street corner being shamed IMO.
     

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