Has the Caylee case changed how you parent your own children?

Discussion in 'Caylee Anthony 2 years old' started by Jenny60123, Apr 16, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jenny60123

    Jenny60123 Just Us for Caylee Marie

    Messages:
    600
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    This is the first thread i've ever started. If this is an inappropriate topic, or in the wrong area please move or delete. I have been wondering for a while now if this case has changed how any of you fellow sleuthers are raising your own children?

    I bring this up because I have definitely changed some things.

    I have one child who to tells "mistruths" from time to time. Everytime I want to let him slide I think of CA. I have learned that it's not in my son's best interest to let him get away with small insignificant lies. We have seen what they lead to, or can lead to.
     
  2. Loading...


  3. Pensfan

    Pensfan Former Member

    Messages:
    7,473
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No, for the following reasons:
    I don't use my car trunk, drugs, or duct tape to babysit my children. My kids have always lost privileges (games, playing outside, or tv time) when they are caught lying or doing anything that harms others. Since a very early age, they had it repeatedly reinforced that hurting others is sinful and they must ask forgiveness from God and any people they have injured.

    Am I a perfect parent? No, not by any measure. With God's help, my kids were guided to love and respect others. They were taught that they must take responsibility for all their actions. Are my kids perfect? No, but they all have very kind souls.
     
  4. logicalgirl

    logicalgirl Peace Hawk

    Messages:
    16,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'm an old broad and it's too late for that.

    What it has done is make me appreciate even more the time I had with my two children, to really think back at both the good stuff and the really tough stuff and give myself a "good on you" kind of a pat on the back for seeing it through and also feeling blessed for the honor of "seeing it through" despite being a single mother for the majority of the time.

    My two children are the treasures of my lifetime. I felt it then and I feel it now. If I have accomplished nothing else in my lifetime, my children knew I was there for them 100% of the time, and with them 100% of the time. All the travel my friends did, getting their degrees the easy way (lol - just attending university f/t) all the fun times when they were single and I had kids and responsibilities - I would never have traded places with them.

    PS - Guess whose house my single friends came to for Christmas?
     
  5. kbl8201

    kbl8201 Former Member

    Messages:
    6,340
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    seriously, when your kids tell mistruths you automatically ca? is that cause casey is a pathogical liar? please tell me thats what you meant.
     
  6. redkatrampant

    redkatrampant New Member

    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    To be honest, it has changed how close a watch I keep on my grands. My daughter has some issues with the truth at times. I do tend to overreact to situations with them. BUT I know for a fact that we got them out of a bad situation Christmas before last. Now she is back with her hubby and settling down.
     
  7. Beyond Belief

    Beyond Belief New Member

    Messages:
    14,497
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No, i wouldn't change the way I parented. I am old too, over 60. I took control of the first grandchild, she still lives here. My daughter got a divorce we decided the two boys would go with their father. It has worked out well for everyone. My daughter tried for several years with the boys but she is a perfectionist. It nearly destoyed her. I know my child and this was all in her best interest. Thank goodness she followed our advice and the kids are great and she definitely plays an important role in their lives. The kids are 20, almost 14 and almost 12.
    Sometimes you have to make what seems like unpopular decisions, but if everyone is onboard it works out for the best.
    Little Caylee grandparents should have taken control, there are two of them, I was a single person at the time and my little Kaelie, my grandaughter is living, loving and having a wonderful life. The end.
     
  8. Laece

    Laece Bring it on down to Omelette-ville-ahhh!

    Messages:
    651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I don't want children and I don't have them, so no.

    But what I did do right was decide that since I don't want children I won't have them...whereas Casey had one she really didn't want and, well...the rest is history.

    She did change the way I view a lot of things, but she also helped reaffirm my decision. People who don't want and can't care properly for children should just not have them. There are no excuses anymore.
     
  9. Brwnigirl

    Brwnigirl Former Member

    Messages:
    11,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Sorry this is off topic...where did the thread "was Casey molested" go?
     
  10. Spangle

    Spangle New Member

    Messages:
    1,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I look at things differently.

    A family I know had a teenage daughter get prego. She wanted to let the baby be adopted. Mommy (Grandma) talked her out of it. Said she would "help".

    The girl gave in, and had the baby. Now Grandma is upset, cause the girl is irresponsible and doesn't take care of the baby. When she said "help", she ment a little "help." Just to the point where she would have 'control' over her teenage daughter. A whip of sorts. That NOW she needs to be home, take care of things, etc, etc, etc..

    My view on things.. she wanted the grandbaby, she got the said baby.. So what is her point? The daughter didn't want to raise the child. Said she didn't want to raise the child. But Granny forced her to do so.

    You can not force a person to raise a child. And should NEVER emotionally blackmail a person in doing so.
     
  11. strawberry

    strawberry Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,803
    Likes Received:
    60
    Trophy Points:
    48
    OMG YES! I have a 13 year old daughter who is probably very typical. Teenagers are by definition narcissistic and shallow. But I freak out when she gets like that! I admit that I do think of KC when she gets "teenager" on me. I want to nip any behavior that reminds me of her in the bud. My DD is a good student, runs track, so I tell myself she's nothing like her. Then I remember KC (supposedly according to the A's) was a good student and ran track in middle school. She really is a good kid though. But I have to tell myself to breathe when she gets belligerant, and I am more determined to weather the stormy seas of puberty. KC seems to be stuck in the "stage" that my 13 year old is in NOW.
     
  12. Aedrys

    Aedrys If justice doesn't get you, karma will.

    Messages:
    6,719
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I only have a stepdaughter right now, but this case has made me feel better about her situation. I used to believe she might turn out like Casey because since she was five, she's been spoiled rotten and learned to manipulate certain family members. Her mother left and never returned, and I know that left her psychologically damaged. It also had an affect on the family, in particular my husband's Aunt, who used to placate and give in to my stepdaughter while spoiling her when she didn't have the money to do so. And my husband felt so guilty about the situation with her mother, he didn't do much to correct and stop this treatment of her.

    However, the family has awakened in the last two years, and for a while now, has held her feet to the fire about important things like lying, doing homework, etc. I'm glad that she is being held accountable by all members of the family now. She's learning what is acceptable and not acceptable, even with the Aunt who previously didn't have a backbone with her (the Aunt is my stepdaughter's mother figure). I believe she's NOT going to turn out like Casey, and that makes me happy. Plus, she's a good kid at heart, she just needed more structure and stability than she was getting.

    So I don't feel bad about holding her accountable when she lies, or when she doesn't do her homework. I know that she will grow up to be a productive member of society because we are all teaching her to be responsible. She's now a bit of a hypochondriac, but I feel like she's not heading down the Casey path anymore, and that relieves me more than you can possibly know.

    Well that, and my stepdaughter is NOT a sociopath, thank God. This case has definitely validated to me that holding kids responsible for their actions is the right thing to do. Spoiling them and giving in to their every want and need only leads to heartbreak and more problems for everyone else down the road.
     
  13. nort

    nort New Member

    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I hug mine more and he is 22..It has also made me appreciate him more because he really was a joy to raise. It has also made me check on our grandbabies more because I have a stepdaughter that remains questionable in the motherly role. All through your life you get wakeup calls and Casey Anthony is one huge wakeup call.
     
  14. mistressammie

    mistressammie New Member

    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    It hasn't changed the way I parent my children (ages 7 and 8) because I've always been extremely protective of them - even being a young parent myself. I feel that I'm more cognizant of things that could potentially happen to young children than most other parents. I think if anything, the Caylee and Haleigh cases have reminded me that spending time with my children is the most important thing in the world.

    While I've never taken my children for granted, these cases may have inspired me to throw in an extra hug or two each day and be so thankful that my children are safe, loved, and surrounded by people who would die to protect them. That's something I wish both Caylee and Haleigh had experienced.
     
  15. Swancat63

    Swancat63 New Member

    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    My daughter was pregnant when she graduated high school. I knew she was but she wouldn't admit it. She was 19 and I couldn't make her go to the doctor since she was an "adult". She finally went when she was 4 months pregnant. She wanted an abortion, then didn't. She wanted to keep it then didn't. After this precious baby girl was born, she wanted to run and play with her boyfriend, not the baby's father, and left my granddaughter with me. My daughter didn't call or come home for 5 months. How ironic that in July 2008 we adopted our beautiful "daughter"!! Then the Casey case made headlines. THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER! She was self centered and lied just to lie! Still does. I'm so thankful for my little one and I know she would have never had a chance. I cherish this new beginning as I am now 48 with a 3 year old. I wouldn't change a thing. except I wouldn't have let my grown daughter slide because she was like my ex( her dad). I will never forgive myself for that, but I have forgiven my grown daughter, for I have been given a wonderful gift! Thanks for this thread and letting me share.
     
  16. DaughterAlice

    DaughterAlice ''I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, sweetie, but i

    Messages:
    512
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Well, I guess so because I DID decide to lay off the chloroform a little bit!! (PLEASE KNOW THAT I'M TOTALLY JOKING!! I wouldn't know what chloroform looked or smelled like if it jumped up & bit me in the tushy!).

    I wouldn't say that it has changed my parenting style so much as it has made me appreciate them all the more. We had to go through a lot to have children, and I get so angry when people like KC can't even appreciate the gift that God has handed them. Even when they are driving me bonkers, I never forget that they are blessings.
     
  17. Reagan

    Reagan New Member

    Messages:
    919
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I don't have kids and don't want any either.. like Laece said. I am at least responsible enough to know that I'm too irresponsible to have kids. :D

    BUT, I do have my precious nephew (almost 6) and I had a huge part in helping raise him since birth, and will continue to be a huge part of his life always. I consider him as my own and would protect him as my own.

    This case hasn't changed the way I discipline him or teach him, but he's such a good kid that I don't have to. Now if later on down the road I see "red flags", that will obviously change.
    If anything, this case and what happened to innocent Caylee has made me cherish our time together that much more. Like others say, it's not that I didn't appreciate my little guy and the time we spend together, but when I think of Caylee and her short little life.. how KC didn't interact with her much or have fun with her, how many times Caylee just wanted to have fun with mommy but she was too busy texting or online...
    It makes me take advantage even more when my nephew wants to do something. I have set aside much more play time, instead of saying "I'm busy, not right now" or "I'm too tired".

    Our little ones are truly blessings and it sickens me to the core over what is happening to all the children in this world who are taken away so heinously. I would have already killed my sister if she took my nephew away the way KC took Caylee's life away. She definitely wouldn't have made it home on bond to prance around like a cheerleader before I beat the truth outta her.
     
  18. LambChop

    LambChop Former Member

    Messages:
    21,160
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Believe it or not the experts will tell you all children want structure. They want to know you care and that they are loved. Your child will still know you love them when you say "NO". It's perfectly permissible to say, "That's not true, I do love you but you still have to clean your room." JMO and experience.
     
  19. Pcolamama

    Pcolamama New Member

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Casey Anthony has actually changed my life for the better! (I know, hard to believe, right?!?) Right before Caylee went missing, my DH of 9 years found out he had a 9 year old daughter (yes, I did the math, she was concieved about 2 months before we met). Since I was already a little freaked out by the news, I did a little research on the bio mom and found she had been charged at one time, back in '02, with "child desertion". That case was "quashed" so when we finally got to meet them both (mother & child), I asked about the charge. Bio said it was a misunderstanding and gave us an explanation which was fairly reasonable.

    A few months later, we picked step-d up for a visit, and bio had all step-d's clothes & whatnot packed in a few bags. We didn't hear from her for a few months - and that was about the time this case was all I heard about on the news (my then 2yr old daughter looks so much like Caylee did that when she sees her on TV, she asks why SHE is on the TV!) and the more we started hearing about it, the more we realized how much bio had in common w/Casey (*shudder*!)

    Later came to find out the charge was legit, she bonded out and never went back - once the case passed the SOL was when it got quashed, not due to any parenting classes or anything good and the reason she had never made contact before that was because she had a standing warrant! Apparently it was the norm for her to leave her one to two year old baby girl and go out and party at bars till the wee hours (hence the Casey resemblance - only in personality!) among other pretty $hitty things we learned way too late...

    Anyway to make a long story short, due to the case and identifying Casey as a sociopath and step-d's strange personality (understatement there), we were able to get step-d diagnosed w/Reactive Attachment Disorder and can now get her the help she needs.

    So, as far as how I parent MY 2 kiddos? Not really - am a little more strict than my nature would normally be, but if it wasn't for learning all this - we'd be tearing our hair out trying to determine what was wrong w/step-d! Things aren't really that great, but we're making it through a lot better knowing what we do now.
     
  20. butterfly1978

    butterfly1978 New Member

    Messages:
    2,793
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Honestly I have to say yes.

    My son is 7 and because he was so ill when he was younger we were extremely easy on him and let him get away with WAY more than he should. However since this case and looking into sociopaths and narcissism, I see some of these traits and I have gotten a lot stricter with him.
     
  21. Laece

    Laece Bring it on down to Omelette-ville-ahhh!

    Messages:
    651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    *Snipped*

    Nice to know I'm not alone! Though, I do think it's less 'irresponsibility' and more the lack of wanting or even willing to accept that responsibility, at least for me it is.

    And I am also a SuperAunt. Lol. I love it. But that's as far as I go, none for me, thanks.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice