How do you deal with not knowing?

Discussion in 'Caylee Anthony 2 years old' started by sua_sponte, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. sua_sponte

    sua_sponte New Member

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    I am a problem-solver by nature and by trade. I usually can't rest until problems presented are neatly packaged and wrapped up nicely with a bow. :) I am having trouble with the fact that we may never know what really happened to Caylee. It's driving me crazy, and I think it's what brings me back here day after day looking for the latest news. I'm just not used to facing the possibility that these cases are sometimes never resolved.

    I know this isn't the first case like this in history, but it is the first for me. For those of you who have been through this before, how do you cope with not knowing? How do you know when to quit looking for clues, if ever?

    How do you feel good about the "killer" being jailed for life, when there is no way of knowing what happened for sure? Don't get me wrong, I personally believe in KC's guilt just as much as the rest of you, but without knowing what really happened

    So, back to my original point - I think I'll still feel like this is an unsolved case, even if KC is convicted and jailed. (based on the evidence we have today). Will you?
     
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  3. LinasK

    LinasK Verified insider- Mark Dribin case

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    You deal with the anxiety by resigning yourself to the fact you may never know all the details. I would love to know exactly how JonBenet Ramsey and Laci Peterson were killed, but short of the killer's confessions- one of which is probably dead in JB's case, we may never know exactly how they died. We have our best educated guesses, hunches, dreams/visions and such, and that's it! The dead don't seem to be able to communicate enough to tell us full details...
    We do have a suspect on trial in this case, which is far more justice than JonBenet ever got, so more details of the puzzle may be revealed at trial.
     
  4. webhound

    webhound New Member

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    sua sponte, I understand your question. I felt much the same way during and after the Laci Peterson case.

    What finally let my mind rest on the matter is that to know exactly what had happened would have haunted me always. I decided in my heart by the time the trial ended that Laci's death was swift and she did not see it coming.

    To know what horrors may have been experienced by little Caylee at the time of her death might be more than any of us really want to know. Knowing her killer is brought to justice will help us all.

    We will not have all the answers before trial, but I am confident the case against Casey will be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Caylee deserves no less than total justice.
     
  5. Jolynna

    Jolynna New Member

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    At least Caylee was found. Trenton Duckett's relatives may never know what happened to that baby. Same with Maddie. And too many others.

    Unfortunately, killers don't always confess. They usually aren't caught in the act on video. But, I think there is a mountain of strong evidence in Caylee's case.
     
  6. tiredofthis

    tiredofthis New Member

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    As long as KC serves time for killing Caylee, I am content in not knowing exactly how she died. I would love to know all of the facts, but I seriously doubt we will find out in this case.
     
  7. Jay D

    Jay D Registered Cynic

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    I suspect that enough information will be revealed during the trial so that most of my questions will be satisfied. If KC pleads however, I have no doubt that only a few will know the truths. Nevertheless, I would much rather she plead and not further burden the taxpayers of Florida and the resources of Law Enforcement. (I say that based on the assumption that she will receive swift and proper punishment.) That avenue supercedes my need to know the whole story. :chicken:
     
  8. SL_Zero

    SL_Zero New Member

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    im the type that needs to know, too, just like you.
    and just like you, i keep coming back here, and to news sites, every day, waiting for that "big break", that undeniable evidence or missing puzzle piece or confession that will explain everything.

    that poor kid has the right for the world to know what happened to her, so her death can be avenged/atoned for.

    :banghead:
     
  9. SoCalSleuth

    SoCalSleuth Verified Expert

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    Does it really matter to me the precise details of how she died? No, I rather not know to be honest. I am pretty sure why and when this all went down as, imho, this scenario plays out over and over across America with the same MO all the time, just different players. I do want to see justice for Caylee though, she deserves it.
     
  10. Paintr

    Paintr New Member

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    With my head, Jay D, I agree with your intelligent, logical post. But that's just my logic talking, the rest of me is very , very curious and I want every question answered and every detail. LOL! I want to know! :blushing:
     
  11. affinity

    affinity New Member

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    I'm better off not knowing. When I first started reading about Caylee I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her and feeling a deep sorrow.....it was as if I knew her and felt I'd personally let her down by not protecting her. The reason there are scads of people here every day is because we are all hard-wired to know that protecting children is mandatory.
    I deal with not knowing by being glad I don't know. I know she got duct taped..she died and put into a garbage bag. That is "enough" information for me.
     
  12. Disguiseduser0308

    Disguiseduser0308 New Member

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    I've been asking myself the same question. Like you, this is the first case I've been completely embroiled in. I also struggle with how I could handle knowing all the details should they ever be revealed.

    Most of all, I want justice for Caylee. She deserved so much in life and it saddens me she was taken away from the world far too early. Whether or not details of the "how" and "why" come out, most of all I hope for the ultimate in justice for her loss.
     
  13. Macushla

    Macushla Our Royal Himalayan Gopher Hounds

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    I think the answer to your question is going to different for each poster who has become involved in this case. I doubt there will ever be a 'final answer' here, I don't think we are going to know exactly what happened to Caylee. As a previous poster said, we don't know what happened to little JonB or Laci P. And in Tenton and Maddy's case, we have even less info.

    At some point, you (not you specficially, of course, but people in general) have to decide when you have had enough and it is time to walk away. You have to accept that answers are not forthcoming. It doesn't mean that you will ever forget these cases and these people who were gone before their time, it just means that you have come to terms with the fact that there are unanswered questions out there. No one can make that decision for you. Even LE has to do that with a lot of their cases, it doesn't mean they ever forget them.

    this, of course, does not pertain to families and friends of victims, this is just about the people, like me, who are interested in a case.
     
  14. KenoshaKid

    KenoshaKid All the darkness in the world cannot put out a sin

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    For me, age has mellowed me lots regarding the need to know everything. Perhaps because I know time and time again there are situations where the answers never become known and I have had to spare myself the frushtration. (heh, couldn't help that one). I do know we know more details at the trial. I really want to see the State's hand.
     
  15. rosiegirl04

    rosiegirl04 New Member

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    i know i find myself crying at least 3 to 4 times a week. i will wake in the middle of the night and wonder if we will ever know the extent of what little caylee went through. i just pray to god that see didnt know what was happening. it would break my heart if she knew what her mother, her supposed protector was doing to her. i just hope justice is served for little caylee!
     
  16. Paintr

    Paintr New Member

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    See, there's that logic again. :blowkiss: I agree, sort of. LOL! I do NOT need the details of her actual death. However, what led up to it, who did what, who knew what, what happened after, and most of all why. These things I would like to know.
     
  17. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    Thank you for your wisdom and insight, this is the first case that I have ever followed and I am learning as I go along. I truly hate unanswered questions, but with each doc dump, I am more disturbed. It just might be that the truth might be more than I can handle. Anyway, that is where I am today.
     
  18. momtocjnalexis

    momtocjnalexis New Member

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    Oh I'm just like you and have an urge to know the whole puzzle. I'm an analyst by day and night and have a special interest in medical matters. I'm fortunate enough to be able to seperate the gruesome details from the sweetness of Caylee, I think of her as a dear friend passed peaceful and look at my 2 year old with much greatfulness. It makes me mad that Casey won't just lay the story out, I could handle this case far better if she just laid it out and said this is what happened and why and we could all move on but I don't believe that will ever happen. This is my first case and I just came out of lurkdom (as you can see by my post count) and I'm finding the uncertainty difficult as well. I want justice for this precious little girl, for all the missing children to be frank. I want to be able to solve the problem for the world and make it better (not right just better) and hope to unlock a key to prevent future murders no matter how unreasonable that seems. I think that's the very human nature of why so many of us are here and why so many of us are asking why, we want to be a part to try to make this better. Maybe I'm wrong by speaking for everyone but that's why I'm here. To answer your question as far as how to handle the not knowing why, I haven't figured that out yet. I keep hoping to login and see a big annoucement about a confession (hey a girl can dream here) so I'm in the same boat as you.
     
  19. Paintr

    Paintr New Member

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    :Welcome-12-june: to WS, from a former lurker.

    If justice requires a plea deal and that means I never know the answers, I can live with that. But, I'd rather know than not.
     
  20. BlOnDe_GuRrL

    BlOnDe_GuRrL New Member

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    i think that's what keeps a lot of us coming back... not knowing.. (besides waiting for the trial)

    every day i sit here and wait for something to break... some new piece of evidence that will bring us a little bit closer to the truth.
     
  21. Bishoptutu

    Bishoptutu New Member

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    I guess I cope with no knowing by just focusing on achieving justice for Caylee. Ultimately that's all anybody can do that this point. Even if KC did confess would you really believe any of the details? I just think its one of those things that will just always be unknown.

    RE: jailing the killer for life - I'm 50/50 on this. I think our system is flawed in the sense that criminals seem to have more rights than those they violate. I think that killing KC would be letting her off easy. The way to destroy her is to take the very thing that she values the most: HER FREEDOM. You take that away you take away her soul. Considering she took Caylee's she has a huge debt to repay.

    If and when KC is sentenced I don't consider this an unsolved case. The only way I would is if the evidence made me have some doubts about whether it was her or not. So far the discovery documents have done nothing but point in ONE direction (KC) so to me this case has been solved, now we're just tying up some loose ends.
     

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