I need help please

Discussion in 'Missing Persons Resources' started by JordynDeLambo, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. JordynDeLambo

    JordynDeLambo New Member

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    My mom will not give me any information. I’m 27 so I would’ve been conceived sometime around December of 1990- January of 1991.

    The story I was told was that my biological father was named Michael Rodriguez Cooper and his birthday was in January. He died supposedly sometime before I was born (September 1991). Supposedly he was military and was hit by a drunk driver. Mom says he may have gone to her elementary school which were either Lincoln Elementary or Glenbrook Elementary.
    I’ve done an extensive search and this man seizes to exist.
    My dad (mom married him when I was two) also believes she is lying, as well as my grandma. Her stories don’t add up and the people who supposedly know either don’t know, act weird when I ask, or are no longer living.

    The only lead I have is that he could’ve went to Akron U if that’s a thing (I’m from Georgia so I don’t know). This information is what I received from an aunt.

    My mom has an apartment in Lodi, Ohio at this time.

    Her name is Victoria (Vicki) DeLambo.


    ***I know I can do a dna test but I would like to exhaust my other options first.


    If you know anything please email me. I don’t know what else to do. If you have suggestions on what else I can do please email me as well. Thank you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2019
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  2. Laughing

    Laughing Rarely Speechless

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    I'm mostly a genealogist, here's a list of things you could try:

    The University of Akron:

    The University of Akron : Home Page

    Ohio newspaper sites:

    Ohio’s Digitized Newspapers

    Historical Newspapers – OHIO University Libraries

    Historic Ohio Newspapers Now Online at the Library of Congress | Ohio History Connection

    You can try for the drunk-driving car accident in the newspaper archives.

    You can try for a local paper announcing scholarship recipients, athlete signings, fraternity pledging.

    You can try for alum contact or an alumni Facebook page for The University of Akron.

    Several Michael Coopers listed on Find-A-Grave.

    Plenty of Michael Coopers of the right age indicated on-line, too many without more information.

    Try USGenWeb for the county in Ohio:

    OHGenWeb


    Welcome to Websleuths, BTW! (I'll Report my post for a moderator to delete the duplicates.)
     
  3. JordynDeLambo

    JordynDeLambo New Member

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    Thank you so much!
     
  4. LotsaLatte

    LotsaLatte Well-Known Member

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    Jordyn, If you decide to take a DNA test, I would be happy to help you :) I volunteer to help others find their biological families. And believe me, I have found a few "fathers" that were named (by moms) that weren't the fathers. It happens. Ancestry is the first one I recommend people take to begin. Good luck with your journey!
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
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  5. Laughing

    Laughing Rarely Speechless

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    Message Boards

    A Cooper family in Strasburg, Ohio.

    You might post, vaguely, looking for a Michael Cooper who attended UAkron in 1990, vague.

    Military, does UAkron have ROTC?

    You'll need to proceed with caution. Your genetic father likely has no idea of your existence.

    On the other hand, your genetic father may know that you were born -- and look for you here:

    Ohio Adoption Reunion Registry | Ohio Adoption Records | Adopted.com

    If anyone knows of a reputable site, please please post. I Googled & checked a bit, not much, posted this one.

    Try the DNA, the reports are interesting! Just the initial report may make no sense & may not help much. LotsaLatte is right, experience reading the reports matters.

    Figure out the steps you'd like to take & forget a timeline, just enjoy the work.

    Best, Laughing
     
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  6. LotsaLatte

    LotsaLatte Well-Known Member

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    Honestly, I have learned through genetic genealogy that following the scientific findings is the best way to go from the start. Searching based on names/stories has led to a lot of dead ends, incorrect people/families being contacted/tested, etc. I have found many, many biological families and I really recommend starting with the test to get a starting point that is valid. Even then, sometimes it takes hundreds of hours of research and over a thousand hours in some cases. Then you get lucky once in a while and the correct people (close family) have tested and will be very helpful. lol some....not so much at all. And it would REALLY help to have the known parent test as well. In this case, mom. It speeds up the process of narrowing down the way to the correct side/branches of your personal "tree" immensely. :)
     
  7. Laughing

    Laughing Rarely Speechless

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    LotsaLatte has great advice.

    You know that your Mom is hiding the circumstance of your conception. You've been told that information you have won't lead to your genetic father.

    We can chase names & chase names & chase names but never even get close. She may have given you the name of someone she admired just in case you found him, or to consistently cover the actual name. Consider -- she may not know, and that's the secret she's keeping.

    Your Mom has her own reasons for keeping quiet.

    You have your own reasons for seeking.

    Watch for a sale from a DNA company -- LotsaLatte rec's Ancestry, likely the biggest database -- and start from facts.

    We'll help fill out the story from there!
     
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  8. ESR17

    ESR17 New Member

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    Have you seen your birth certificate or can you look into getting one? Your fathers name may be listed or if perhaps your mother doesn’t know who he is there may not be a name. Either way you have a new lead. If no name is listed you can ask as to why his name was never added.

    Have you looked at any old photos your mom may have? See if you can notice someone close to your mom or in a lot of them that you don’t know or perhaps has never been a part of your life.

    Ask your if you can’t find anything with the name you have been given try looking up your grandparents by that name too. Ancestry is a great place to start.
     
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  9. AC's Grandma

    AC's Grandma Well-Known Member

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    I have been in your shoes although at 56 years old, I'm past wanting to find my birth father although I have wondered since I was a teenager where family has kept the secret and my parents have been dead for many years now.

    I do want to throw this out there in regards to your mom giving you the name of someone that you believe is untrue. Is it possible your mom was raped or abused and became pregnant and it's not something she really wants you to know? Yes, other family members may have the information but it's not there place to speak up about something that your mom doesn't want known.

    Many good thoughts coming your way as you search for the answers you need and want.
     
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  10. Alathea

    Alathea Well-Known Member

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    Smart comment.

    This is, unfortunately, an all-too-common happening.

    The mother is raped (even by a family member) and does not want the child to feel they are "bad" because their biological father was bad.

    My dad (mom married him when I was two) also believes she is lying
    Forum members also need to be aware that some fathers, in the middle of a divorce, will go looking for information to bash the mother to try to get custody of any minor children.
     
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  11. Laughing

    Laughing Rarely Speechless

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    @JordynDeLambo , have you decided to order a kit & have the DNA match started?
     
  12. IgnoredByTheAuthorities

    IgnoredByTheAuthorities New Member

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    I will see if I can find something for you :)
     
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