If Heterophobia Was Real - A Short Film on Bullying

Discussion in 'Bullies and Stalkers' started by Public_Hysteria, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. Public_Hysteria

    Public_Hysteria Rest in peace, Adrienne

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    I just watched the following short film, 'If Heterophobia Was Real'. It is nothing short of amazing. The film addresses the issues of bullying in an unusual context, and aims to highlight the damage that can be caused by bullying someone for being 'different'. Definitely worth the watch (only goes for about 20 minutes).

    This short moved me to tears, so just a warning, you may not want to watch it while at work.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/aaronporchia/if-heterophobia-was-real-93w2

    Apologies if I've put this in the wrong place, I wasn't sure which section would be best to post this in as it addresses multiple issues.
     
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  3. tangelo

    tangelo New Member

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    It fails as propaganda when it merely reveals the bigotry of the film makers.

    Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
    John Lennon
     
  4. TheDuchess

    TheDuchess Active Member

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    OK-I watched the movie and have to say that I didn't like it. I had a difficult time understanding and really "getting the point" of what life would be like in an all homosexual world. Perhaps it is because it simply doesn't make any sense to see OUR world in such a different way.

    I also didn't care for the obvious attacks on the Catholic church. Catholics, while believing that homosexuality is a sin, do not preach "hate." They preach understanding and tolerance. At least the Catholic church that I belong to does. I do not agree with everything the Catholic church stands for, but I feel that it is the best church for me for many other reasons. And they don't say that homosexuality should be illegal. So they aren't really forcing their beliefs on homosexuality on anyone other than Catholics. And as a Catholic, if you don't agree, you can choose to leave the church at any time. So I don't believe it is fair that they use that analogy.

    I also thought there was a big flaw in the movie, because it tried to make some kind of statement about gender identity as well, but seemed to get muddled up in the process. The girl dressed like a girl and acted like a girl, yet somehow was a football player and disappointed her parents by not making the team? Yet in the gym, it was obvious that the boy's other brother was a "jock" playing basketball. So that kind of confused me, as I wasn't sure what they were trying to do there.

    So while I understand the message, I think it would have had a more powerful message if it hadn't "beaten the message" into the viewer as much as it obviously did. Also, it showed no one in the film that had any compassion for the girl, including her parents. While I understand that it was difficult for the girl, and these incidents apparently did happen to real people, it just seemed to be "over the top" in such a way and to make it seem unbelievable. I also found it difficult to understand how all of these people came to be if "breeders" were such outcasts. I don't know...I guess if the film were longer, some of this could have been better hashed out.

    I feel a better example of this kind of thing is an old episode of Star Trek-The Next Generation called The Outcast. It is a story about a genderless civilization in which a character feels inclined to choose a gender and is considered an outcast and a criminal and needs to be "cured." This particular story, in my opinion, really was touching and helped me to better understand how a gay person must feel being different, and how compassion and understanding is not a lot to ask. And that there is nothing wrong with being different.

    Here is a link to an edited version of the episode I found on youtube. It's got some strange edits in it (I'm not sure where they came from-they are kind of funny, but oddly placed.) I do find it interesting that a story about a civilization from another planet hit home for me more than the one about our own civilization turned completely upside down.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDljwStDG7k
     
  5. gxm

    gxm New Member

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    It fails as propaganda because the title alone is a turn-off. What is wrong with the people who put this film together? Do they really believe that straight kids don't get bullied? I was bullied and sexually harassed to the point that I simply quit going to school because the environment was intolerable. Just the title of this video is, IMO, offensive. I can't imagine how bad the actual film is, and I certainly won't waste the time to watch it.
     
  6. Donjeta

    Donjeta Adji Desir, missing from Florida

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    I haven't seen the film either but just from this thread, I didn't get the impression that the film was supposed to claim that straight kids don't get bulled. of course they do. Most of the time probably not because they're straight though.
     
  7. Karmady

    Karmady Former Member

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  8. Karmady

    Karmady Former Member

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    I watched it. It shows bullying, but links it specifically to sexuality when everyone knows the same could be said/linked to any other immutable quality. I don't know how one could handle it in an "agenda blind" manner. Maybe vignettes that would include the sufferings of hetero/white/"popular" girls and boys along with the usual victims. Everyone who's been a kid knows that bullying is universal. jmo
     
  9. Public_Hysteria

    Public_Hysteria Rest in peace, Adrienne

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    I definitely agree that the clip is very over the top in parts, but I think that it had to be to get the message across in such a short time frame. I agree that the attacks on the Catholic church were very biased; I don't believe any one religion should have been singled out, especially to the extent that it was, but sadly a lot of people are ostracized from the religions they have grown up with because of their sexual preferences. I've even witnessed cases where people were harshly judged for certain lifestyle choices they made (like living together in a heterosexual relationship without being married, or having a child out of wedlock).

    In saying this, I do believe that there were some important issues touched on throughout this, which is why I posted it. Her parents didn't really accept her liking boys and she was ostracized from her classmates. The boy she kissed shunned her publicly and basically denied that there was ever anything between them. These things are all experiences of gay and lesbian teens (and sometimes even adults), so while they were exaggerated in the clip, they still ring true for many. I also believe that it perfectly captured the feelings of loneliness and hurt that the main character felt - even taken out of the context of 'heterophobia', it is something that bullying victims feel often.

    I was bullied when I was in school, and I suffered with very low self-esteem for most of my teenage years because of this. So while the bullying was not on a level that I could ever begin to understand, I do understand the impact it can have on a young person trying to find who they are and where they fit in with the world, which is why it really struck a chord with me.

    I haven't seen the Star Trek episode that you've linked to, but I'll be sure to watch it when I get home. Thanks.
     
  10. Public_Hysteria

    Public_Hysteria Rest in peace, Adrienne

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    At no point did I feel the film was belittling or ignoring the bullying that goes on for any other child, it just chose one case to focus on in particular. It would have been impossible for the film to touch on every single thing a child can be bullied for. The bullying was also only part of the message, the other was the discrimination that a lot of people who are attracted to others of the same sex face on a daily basis.
     
  11. gitana1

    gitana1 Verified Attorney

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    Thanks. It never fails that when discrimination of one kind or toward one group is discussed, there are those who criticize the mention of it by saying that other groups are discriminated against as well, as if the failure to equally mention all types of discrimination reduces the effectiveness of the message. It doesn't. It's just a discussion of how one group is affected.

    Thanks for posting this short film. I'm going to watch it later.
     
  12. gxm

    gxm New Member

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    Then why is this in the Bullying section if it's really about LGBT discrimination? IMO, just the title alone is othering and marginalizing towards straight kids who are bullied. It really seems to answer its own question with the reply that heterophobia is, apparently, very real. IMO, marginalizing and othering is divisive. And I'm not interested in watching a video that rationalizes its own form of discrimination as a way to make a point. All victims of bullying deserve compassion, not some more than others.

    I have to shake my head at the irony that when I finally went back to high school to complete three years of work in one year (I was in classes from sunup to sundown, Saturdays too) that I, a straight girl, was harassed for being a lesbian. But, hey, that doesn't matter cuz I wasn't really gay. Right?
     
  13. gxm

    gxm New Member

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    BBM.

    I can only imagine that you don't follow bullying cases much. Here's a recent story in the news: http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/31/world/europe/italy-facebook-suicide
     
  14. Montjoy

    Montjoy Inactive

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    I see absolutely nothing about the story you linked to suggest that she was bullied for being heterosexual rather than homosexual, so I think the snark in your post is unseemly.
     
  15. Public_Hysteria

    Public_Hysteria Rest in peace, Adrienne

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    That is why I stated the following in my original post.
    It seems I'll have to go through this thread to double check that every thread here covers bullying only in a general sense, as I wasn't aware that every thread here had to cover all the possible things someone can be bullied for - considering it is a section for multiple threads to be made regarding the broader issue of bullying, I would think that each thread would likely touch on a separate issue.

    I also believe that acting on discrimination against another is a form of bullying (which can take many different forms), so it seems fitting that the thread is placed in the section for bullying on this forum, even though the video is a hypothetical situation. If you watched the video you would see that the video is based in the context of a world where being straight is the equivalent of being gay or lesbian - gay and lesbian relationships are the 'norm', while those attracted to the opposite sex are marginalized for their sexual preferences. It is simply trying to put the viewer in another's shoes, to see the impact that discrimination (and in turn, bullying caused by this discrimination) can have on an individual.

    At no point has anyone tried to belittle the effects any other form of bullying has on the victim; if you have taken it this way I apologize. Being a victim of bullying and sexual assault myself, I didn't take any offense to the video; and even though it was in relation to a form of bullying I have never personally experienced I could still relate to the feelings the main character was going through. I am truly very sorry about what you went through - no form of bullying is EVER acceptable, under ANY circumstance.
     
  16. gxm

    gxm New Member

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    Read it again. Her ex-boyfriend led the bullying brigade. As the victim was a girl, we can only assume that they had a heterosexual relationship. Many victims of bullying are young women who have their sexuality attacked. Anyone who follows bullying cases would know how prevalent this problem is. But after reading this thread I'm beginning to realize that heterophobia is quite real and there are people who think attacking a young person's sexuality is only a problem if that young person is LGBT.

    Jessica Laney, 16, was found dead at her home in Hudson, Florida, on Sunday night after users on social networking sites branded her 'fat', a 'slut' and tormented her over her looks and love life.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-taunted-told-kill-herself.html#ixzz2aoU2q2ko

    Gabrielle Molina was a seventh grader at a local middle school where her classmates would call her a slut and a whore, her family said last week.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...s-knew-abuse-sworn-secrecy.html#ixzz2aoUR2Hmj
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    An emotional Stacy Conner told WCIA-TV: 'They'd call her a slut. Ashlynn's ugly. She's fat.'

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-home-schooled-day-suicide.html#ixzz2aoXtHTWY
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
     
  17. Donjeta

    Donjeta Adji Desir, missing from Florida

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    No one said that attacking heterosexual girls is not wrong.
    No one said that attacking heterosexual boys is not wrong.

    Heterosexual people's exes can wage terrible and disturbing harassment campaigns but I don't see it as "heterophobia" per se since for the most part the exes are presumably heterosexual themselves and the goal of the harassment is more likely to be to punish the person for daring to leave the heterosexual ex and to get revenge for the break up of the heterosexual relationship than trying to pressurize people to conform to a homosexual ideal. It's more, "You left me and my ego can't take it so now you must suffer" or, "I'm a psycho stalker so now you must suffer" than "You're not gay and we can't accept that so you must suffer"

    It's not an exclusively heterosexual phenomenon either, there are mentally disturbed psycho stalker exes in the LGBT community too.

    If young women are called sluts and whores and victimized for having a (real or imaginary) sex life I see it more as a misogynous fear of /hatred of /attempt to control female sexuality, and a part of a power game. I don't see it as fear of heterosexuality as such since quite often the same heterosexual behaviors that those people attack in a woman may be encouraged if you're a male and you get a halo for being a stud. These women might not start getting any better treatment if they came out as non-heterosexual either since I think that harassing crowds of bullies aren't always that choosy and may feel perfectly up to bullying both perceived heterosexual and lesbian "sluts" at the same time once they're in the proper bullying mindset.

    JMO but I think people are allowed to make videos to support the victims of child abuse without feeling guilty that their video does not support the victims of elderly abuse equally.

    I think it's okay to write films about rape victims without mentioning the plight of robbery victims.

    I don't believe that talking about the discrimination one ethnic group, say, the Jews, has faced, means that we're belittling the discrimination any other ethnic groups have faced.

    To me it is acceptable to make a video about one cold case murder victim even though there are plenty of other victims out there whose cases are also unsolved and who might need the exposure.

    I think it's fine to make a documentary about cognitively disabled teens who get bullied for their disability even though many perfectly healthy, smart teens get bullied too.

    I don't see anything wrong in talking about the problems LGBT people face and it certainly does not imply that heterosexual people don't also have many difficulties, dangers, and problems in their lives and that they can't be victims of terrible crimes.

    It's just that documentaries and feature films that tackle one issue at a time are usually more focused and have a bigger impact than ones with a script that throws dozens of problems in the air and doesn't have time to scratch the surface of any one of them.

    :cow:

    I was harassed and bullied as a teen as well but I don't see that as a reason to be offended when the issue of other people being bullied comes up, even if their experience isn't exactly as mine was.
     
  18. Cherry

    Cherry Pie

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    I think that many things should be eliminated from the discussion of bullying, ie it isn't a racial issue it isnt an LBGAY issue, EVERYONE is the same and can suffer at the hands of bullying, no matter their gender, race or proclivities. Defining people by what they choose to do in the bedroom is a huge problem. So eliminate that element and discuss bullying. It happens to many people no matter what their gender race or how they define themselves.
     
  19. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    It's like racism. Only whites can be racist. Black on black crime - no biggy. Black on white crime - no biggy. White on black crime - :scared: call Jackson and Sharpton and alert the media. :scared:
    Homosexuals can be bullys too. Just watch 'Project Runway'. This thread is about sexual discrimination and not about bullying IMO.
     
  20. nursebeeme

    nursebeeme Registered User

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    bumping up the topic of the opening post in the bullying forum:

    bbm: folks stick to the general area of the forum you are in: how this could be bullying. If anyone would like to take the link and start a thread in the political pavilion on any other issues you see you can take that discussion down there.

    :seeya:
     
  21. Donjeta

    Donjeta Adji Desir, missing from Florida

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    These problems probably won't stop existing even if people stop talking about them.Everyone can suffer regardless of their race or identity but nevertheless bullying and discrimination of certain groups of people sometimes have a great deal of overlap and eliminating that aspect from the discussions also eliminates some possible remedies for the bullying many people face.

    JMO but if this video makes people think about the bullying that LGBT students may suffer it does not harm the cause of straight students that are also being bullied. It takes nothing whatsoever away from them. On the contrary, it may help even a bullied straight student somewhere if even one person succeeds in imagining themselves in another person's shoes for a minute and changes their attitude. Maybe the big bullies won't watch it or f they do they won't get it but the passive people standing by and quietly allowing it are a part of the problem and they might.

    I don't really understand why, when everybody knows perfectly well that there is more than one problem in the world, why anyone should think that naming one of them means that the others are of no consequence.
     

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