Additionally. Most of what was said about Dermot, was someone else's perceptions. We don't have any direct quotes from Dermot himself other than the statement from his father that Dermot wanted to go make a life for himself all on his own. (paraphrased from memory.)
Maybe I am personalizing this too much, but having grown up in a family where I wasn't permitted to have my own thoughts, my own feelings or seek out my own direction with my own interests... I can't help but believe that perhaps something along those lines was the basis for the family struggles Dermot had with his family. Especially during such changing times as the late 60's, early 70's. For example, something along the lines of everyone in our family went to college, so Dermot will go to College. The family has always done it this way, so Dermot will do it this way.
I don't place blame on anyone if that were the case. It's just something that stood out to me with Dermot's comment that he was going to make a life for himself on his own terms. Maybe the medical treatment he received was not necessarily for depression or mental illness, but the families way of trying to get Dermot to conform to their way of thinking. Especially since we know he attended parochial school.
Maybe he was depressed or despondent because of his own true self being stifled. Without anyone to encourage and show interest in his becoming the person he truly wanted to be. Maybe he went target shooting to have some time by himself to think. He had many siblings, so perhaps he didn't have the privacy he sought at home to think. Or perhaps as he expressed his independent minded way of thinking he was given less room to 'breath' and pursue his own independent dreams.
Just my thoughts based on the knowledge we learned from the most recent article.
Hi Everyone!
Just going through all the tremendous and insightful posts on Dermot's case and every one of the posters have made such powerful and thought provoking statements with good reasoning behind them as to what may have happened to Dermot:
Staged disappearance and ran away to live successfully?
Suicide?
Accidental Drowning/Hypothermia?
Reading this posts, it is almost like we are reliving this case and I remain confident that closure will be found!
The quoted posts above represent one of the many issues in Dermot's life that forced him to leave. The only difference that I have is I think that Dermot's father I think is to blame for the high expectations and conformity that Dermot experienced for so many years. However, one thing that Mr. Kelly did say that I agree with is that "he read somewhere that when a person has latent talent and cannot express themselves the way they want to, they become emotionally pained and frustrated to the point where they become fed-up and can't take it anymore." Of this, I agree with Dermot's father, that Dermot had those types of feelings in his mind, for a long time prior to his disappearance.
A lot of times people in these types of conflicting situations within the family have no other choice but to leave. They are often presented with two choices fight or flee. Flee for freedom. I think there was fighting in the family. Earlier on, before I knew about the father's strict views and anger-management issues, I said something that I did not see evidence of conflict, meaning physical conflict. However, there were huge emotional pains between Dermot and his father, where the criticisms may have started out small, but manifested themselves over the years between Dermot and he. I believe Dermot could have been physically abused by his father as well.
Additionally, I did recall a poster who said Dermot was her Mother's brother, and she was really looking for closure to this case. Dermot's Mother Asta, and her side of the family always believed that Dermot ran away to join the hippie movement and to follow his love of music, a search for freedom, a journey who for Dermot peace and acceptance were critical to him. For Dermot, peace, acceptance, happiness, and love were vital to his existence. Over time he got so upset with his home-life, that leaving his home and family was the only answer. In my judgment, Dermot theorized for years, that constantly living in that house was gnawing away at his nerves and destroying any chance of his fulfillment to follow his dreams. I seriously believed that Dermot blamed his Dad for not allowing him to be whom Dermot wanted to be because it went against Mr. Kelly's deepest convictions and believes.
Dermot inside, I believe was an emotional wreck, a crying, and ticking time-bomb of Dad, Catholic School, and Church, and a strict conservative view on one side for family values. Strongly rebellious against the ideals that Dad insisted were the rules Dermot would follow. In the opposing view corner, Dermot stood with his own values of liberalism, freedom, peace, and love, shared with the turbulent times of the 60's culture. The Hippie Movement, Dermot's favorite books and music which Dermot loved were his escape from the pain in his daily life. However, Dermot believed that this escape could only be a permanent by living home and family, forever.
I think his Mother was in the middle of this conflict. However, I don't know if she would say anything negative to her husband for fear of him lashing out at her. At the time of Dermot's disappearance, a poster who said her Mother was Dermot's younger brother stated that the Kelly's marriage was failing, the father had been going through a job loss, and that the marriage was sometimes abusive.
Furthermore, I was told that Dermot's father who was a high-profile attorney, also attacked someone in his law firm. He had a bad temper. There is a very strong likelihood that Dermot may have been abused because of this, and if this is true it makes this case all the more tragic. Maybe in light of all of these family, social, and cultural issues, Dermot leaving was the right thing to do. If it was the wrong thing to do, I really don't know what else he could have done.
Satch
