IN - Couple charged with abandonment of adopted child after legally changing her age, Sept 2019

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Yes, and no, it seems:

Most Children With Autism Diagnosed at 5 or Older

You can, but they're not usually, and in my experience, it wouldn't be unusual for someone with "exceptional" children to Munchausen them into it for attention. I'd be interested to know if she ever gave the source of her son's diagnosis.

Yikes! My now 18 yo son was diagnosed at 2 yo and it was not my doing. I knew something was wrong with him and had known since he was a few weeks old. But at that time I would never have considered him autistic. I only saw a neurologist for assessment because his speech therapist strongly encouraged it. He'd been in therapy of various things since under a year old. I was absolutely gobsmacked at the diagnosis. When I'd read descriptions of autism at the time it didn't sound like him to me.

But I really hate to have it impugned there is something bad about parents whose children get early diagnoses. That's not really fair. I see loads of parents with kids where something is clearly wrong. But because the parents are in denial they are deprived of good therapy and help early on in life. I think that's why most kids aren't diagnosed till later. It's not till they get into a school setting.

But every state has programs to get kids help early because it's shown to be the most helpful. Babies Can't Wait is a name for the programs offered. Because getting babies help and therapy for developmental disorders is shown to be so much better than waiting till your child is in school and they are standing out more and more as different and needing help.
 
Do we know they didn't? This case really is nuts. I would think they'd report conning to someone. But I also can't fathom people just leaving an 8 yo behind in an apartment indefinitely if they really thought she was 8. And if she was 8 how in the world did they con a judge into letting them change her legal age? And even if they paid rent how did an 8 yo actually survive on her own? There is a lot more to taking care of yourself once rent is paid.

I'm hoping 8 was the youngest she might be and maybe she was a preteen. The changing of her age is weird. Her adoption and getting paperwork about her medical condition could be a way to issue a birth certificate or some form of identification. Did they do it all in one state?
There was mention of neighbors offering to take custody of her but the Barnetts fought that. If that is true they must have known they did something wrong. If she was a disabled adult she might have been able to receive benefits or the people that cared for her would. If she was a con artist why wouldn't you press charges? If they had, the police wouldn't be looking at them for neglect.
 
Parents seriously just can not win. You are either a crap parent because you failed to get your help early on. OR you are a crap parent because you DID get your child help early on but you probably did it just for attention. Ugh.

The Barnetts are part of the problem. Doing what is best for your kid is not a crime. If you adopt a kid and leave them behind when they are a minor or possible minor, while seeking fame with another child that is prodigy is messed up. Especially if you sell parenting books. Even if the adopted daughter was a con artist their behavior is questionable at best illegal at worst.
When people advocate for their kids doctors have to deal with parents that have faked disorders and don't want to end up losing their license or they think new moms are overreacting.
 
If you are a responsible person why would you hide her in an apartment? If she was conning you that would be a crime. That is something you would at least take up with the adoption agency.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they adopted her in a less than socially acceptable manner. I think a lot of answers can be found in the first couple that adopted her, as well as the adoption agency that couple used. I am not ruling out the possibility of a scam yet.

FWIW, Ukraine only allows international adoption of children over the age of 5 and/or special needs children. From what I’ve read, it isn’t cheap, nor is it a fast process. So I have a lot of questions swirling in my head about the initial adoption and the parties involved. Most of all, why Ukraine?

There are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of kids in foster care in our country, and many of those kids are waiting to be adopted. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around spending tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child (one who is at least 5 years old and/or special needs) from another country, when there are thousands of kids in that same age and need range right here in our own backyard who need homes.
 
I'm hoping 8 was the youngest she might be and maybe she was a preteen. The changing of her age is weird. Her adoption and getting paperwork about her medical condition could be a way to issue a birth certificate or some form of identification. Did they do it all in one state?
There was mention of neighbors offering to take custody of her but the Barnetts fought that. If that is true they must have known they did something wrong. If she was a disabled adult she might have been able to receive benefits or the people that cared for her would. If she was a con artist why wouldn't you press charges? If they had, the police wouldn't be looking at them for neglect.

I read the parents contested the neighbors becoming her guardian due to an age issue, and then a couple of years later the neighbor abandoned their petition to become guardian. For all we know, they could have fought it so another person didn’t get scammed. They may not have pressed charges because they adopted her in an illegal or immoral manner. I am not sure at this point what to think. It is really odd to me that the adoptee was in the care of three different families, all of which didn’t seem to work out. And that a young child was able to survive on her own for so long.
 
The Barnetts are part of the problem. Doing what is best for your kid is not a crime. If you adopt a kid and leave them behind when they are a minor or possible minor, while seeking fame with another child that is prodigy is messed up. Especially if you sell parenting books. Even if the adopted daughter was a con artist their behavior is questionable at best illegal at worst.
When people advocate for their kids doctors have to deal with parents that have faked disorders and don't want to end up losing their license or they think new moms are overreacting.

What about the first family that adopted her? And most importantly, the adoption agency that facilitated the international adoption. They are all in the wrong as well. Why didn’t the adoption agency ever check up on her? Offer the family (or families, I should say) resources and support?
 
What about the first family that adopted her? And most importantly, the adoption agency that facilitated the international adoption. They are all in the wrong as well. Why didn’t the adoption agency ever check up on her? Offer the family (or families, I should say) resources and support?
The adoption agency would be the first place you would go. If adopt a minor and find out they aren't one I would want to void the adoption make sure that they could never inherit from me if I died. I wouldn't just up their age and leave the country.
 
I read the parents contested the neighbors becoming her guardian due to an age issue, and then a couple of years later the neighbor abandoned their petition to become guardian. For all we know, they could have fought it so another person didn’t get scammed. They may not have pressed charges because they adopted her in an illegal or immoral manner. I am not sure at this point what to think. It is really odd to me that the adoptee was in the care of three different families, all of which didn’t seem to work out. And that a young child was able to survive on her own for so long.

It was mentioned that she might have been 18 for real by the time the neighbor dropped the petition. So she didn't need a guardian. If they wanted to protect people why wouldn't you be honest especially if you are talking up your parenting skills. If the girl was adopted before she got to them they didn't bring her into the country. Unless they were using her as a slave of some sort I don't see how they could get in trouble for adopting a minor. Changing documents illegally that's worse than using a shady adoption agency.
 
I wouldn’t be surprised if they adopted her in a less than socially acceptable manner. I think a lot of answers can be found in the first couple that adopted her, as well as the adoption agency that couple used. I am not ruling out the possibility of a scam yet.

FWIW, Ukraine only allows international adoption of children over the age of 5 and/or special needs children. From what I’ve read, it isn’t cheap, nor is it a fast process. So I have a lot of questions swirling in my head about the initial adoption and the parties involved. Most of all, why Ukraine?

There are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of kids in foster care in our country, and many of those kids are waiting to be adopted. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around spending tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child (one who is at least 5 years old and/or special needs) from another country, when there are thousands of kids in that same age and need range right here in our own backyard who need homes.

There is something wrong.
 
The adoption agency would be the first place you would go. If adopt a minor and find out they aren't one I would want to void the adoption make sure that they could never inherit from me if I died. I wouldn't just up their age and leave the country.

They may not have adopted her through the agency is what I’m saying though. I hate this term, but idk how else to word it. Her original adoptive parents may have “rehomed” her. Sorry again for my phrasing, I’m on no sleep and can’t find a better word in my brain.
 
Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. It is a largely lawless marketplace. Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.

The practice is called "private re-homing," a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

Reuters Investigates - The Child Exchange


It’s a sad article in a sense, but informative nonetheless.
 
I wouldn’t be surprised if they adopted her in a less than socially acceptable manner. I think a lot of answers can be found in the first couple that adopted her, as well as the adoption agency that couple used. I am not ruling out the possibility of a scam yet.

FWIW, Ukraine only allows international adoption of children over the age of 5 and/or special needs children. From what I’ve read, it isn’t cheap, nor is it a fast process. So I have a lot of questions swirling in my head about the initial adoption and the parties involved. Most of all, why Ukraine?

There are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of kids in foster care in our country, and many of those kids are waiting to be adopted. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around spending tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child (one who is at least 5 years old and/or special needs) from another country, when there are thousands of kids in that same age and need range right here in our own backyard who need homes.

Why not foster a kid here? It seems like we are missing something. If they thought they were doing something charitable like a family adopted a special needs kid and couldn't handle them so they adopt the girl. If it was a scam that would make them sympathetic and could be another book. It could be a cautionary tale about adopting even if they went through less legit methods or heard about this girl from a friend or church. This is something that anyone trying to do something nice or not realizing how you are supposed to go through adoption could end up in the same situation.

If the girl was legally adopted before did those parents sign away rights? The Barnetts actions don't make sense.
 
They may not have adopted her through the agency is what I’m saying though. I hate this term, but idk how else to word it. Her original adoptive parents may have “rehomed” her. Sorry again for my phrasing, I’m on no sleep and can’t find a better word in my brain.

But why buy her (this sounds worse) than just foster her. Did she have any paperwork? Who is responsible if you rehome a person? Somehow this kid got into the country.
 
Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. It is a largely lawless marketplace. Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.

The practice is called "private re-homing," a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

Reuters Investigates - The Child Exchange


It’s a sad article in a sense, but informative nonetheless.

Why wouldn't you want your adoption regulated? I've heard of people that adopted young russian kids even as toddlers the orphanages damaged them psychologically and adoptive parents couldn't handle them. I could see where that might be hard to find the right resources. Rehoming might be a way to sell a kid to god knows who. If there is no paperwork maybe they didn't want her as child. Is there proof she went to school do teachers remember her. This sounds like human trafficking.
 
There are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of kids in foster care in our country, and many of those kids are waiting to be adopted. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around spending tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child (one who is at least 5 years old and/or special needs) from another country, when there are thousands of kids in that same age and need range right here in our own backyard who need homes.

That's a whole topic of discussion by itself. In some countries children are tossed out onto the street when they age out of the children's homes, so adopting a child from such a country is rescuing a soul.

But ... this case raises concerns of graft, deception and irregular behaviours on both sides of ocean.
 
It was mentioned in one of the articles that two different doctors at two different times estimated her age using cranial development which tends to be accurate. In 2010 one doctor estimated her age at 8. In 2012 a different doctor estimated her age to be 11.
 
Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. It is a largely lawless marketplace. Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.

The practice is called "private re-homing," a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

Reuters Investigates - The Child Exchange


It’s a sad article in a sense, but informative nonetheless.

Everyone should read this article.
 
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