In defense of George and Cindy.

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Jolynna

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Beware the man who has nothing left to lose.
I don't know who said it but, I think they were right.
You found a great quote, Lady Loves Lurking. I think it says everything. I believe saving Casey from being put to death is what keeps George and Cindy going.

Looks like I am going to be the first to defend George and Cindy.

I think they see Casey the same way I would view my dog if it were whining to get out of the cage at the pound wanting to go home after it had bitten a neighbor child and received a death sentence. Yes, it would be my fault for not training the dog better. But, THAT wouldn't prevent me from feeling bad for the dog that was begging to go home and that was going to die.

No, I would not do anything to prevent the death sentence.

But that wouldn't make the dog's cries for me coming from the kennel cage less painful. And I am talking about a dog. Casey is George's and Cindy's child.

While I think Casey deserves to die, I can understand how the whole situation is a nightmare beyond imagining and the pain unbearable.


JMO
 

Brini

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Personally I beleive that we should all take a step back. I believe that if we were all in the same postion as George and Cindy we would all mess up too. Maybe not as bad, but noone is perfect, and we have to realize that this is all new to George and Cindy.

Don't get me wrong, I do NOT agree, nor do I condone what any of the Anthony's have done. But what I will say, is NONE of us have lived the lives of George, or Cindy, and non of us know how we would react, how we would handle the media, how we would handle the CONSTANT media attention, how we would handle the rumors.

And for those of you that sit here and say, that George and Cindy are not victims, I ask you to stop and think.

The first victim is Caylee, the second victims in this are George and Cindy. As I am fairly certain that they did not wake up one day and say "Gee I think I will play a part in my grandaughters dissapearence."

Yes the Anthonys have made some very BAD choices. But honestly can you sit here and put yourself in 100% of their shoes, and say that you would do everything Perfectly?? I know I couldn't. I beleive that we all fall back into coping mechanisms to an extent when we are in a crisis. And I beleive that SOME of what we are seeing is coping mechanisms that are coming out.

We are VERY critical of others when it is not our lives! But folks, please remember this, NOONE is perfect. If a person was, I am sure everyone would be cloning that person!

No one has requested perfection out of anyone. Not one person on this list has demanded that the As "be perfect."

However, a number of people, on this list, have managed to keep track of their grandkids. Members have also raised their kids WITH limits, insisted that they be responsible for the consequences of their actions, and have refused to support them, if they commit crimes.

There is a HUGE difference between "being perfect" and: 1) condoning and enabling theft, forgery, and chronic lying for years, 2) lying, repeatedly, to LE in a murder case, 3) allowing a daughter whom they have called a "sociopath" to take a two-year-old child for a month, and not follow up on her well-being, (CA told one of KC's friends to "stay away from KC. She's a sociopath.") 4) trying to steer the guilt to other people (such as the innocent JG).

If my daughter murdered a helpless two-year old, I'd bust her, myself.
 

Imbackon

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No one likes a liar.
There is a reason why this is an old saying. I think that is why this case has gotten as much attention as it did from the beginning and continues to be watched as closely as it has. Most murdering moms confess, show remorse and cry, but not stoic Casey
Her parents lie for her, and that is why I don't like them as well.
 

StillLurkin

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G & C are victims because they lost their granddaughter, they choose to support their daugther, because they want to have a life, with some family left. KC is a victim because she is a product of her upbringing, she chooses to fight for her freedom, so that she can have a life. Caylee is a victim because someone decided her life wasn't as important as everyone else's, she has no choice!!
 

gitana1

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Thanks for the thread Ladybass. I greatly respect your opinion and I see where you are coming from, in part.
I do see the Anthonys as victims. I always have and I continue to do so. I do feel very sorry for their loss. They may seem now to care more for casey but they must suffer terribly the loss of Caylee. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
It's a very horrible situation they are in - to lose a beloved grandchild to murder and then have one's own child charged with the crime. I can't wrap my mind around that. I think it is clear from things we have seen - videos, interviews, etc., that they dearly loved Caylee. They provided for her, took care of her, set up savings accounts for her - all the things casey should have done. But...it does seem that family pride, dysfunction, delusioned loyalty for their princess daughter and just plain rottenness, have caused them to act in a bizarre, outrageous and ugly manner and that Caylee is being shortchanged as a result.
I can't fault them for standing behind casey or refusing to believe she did it. They are facing a Greek tragedy of epic porportions. But the manner in which they do so is beyond the pale, IMO.
You know, I have defended them repeatedly in the past because I felt that while they lied to they media, they were truthful, for the most part, where it counted: In Court and LE interviews. However, watching their depos has caused me to change my opinion. What was merely surprising, annoying, aggravating and disappointing has become something much worse.
They are now completely lying, under oath, for their daughter. They have likely covered for their children and each other for years, and from what I have observed, it seems they have done so out of a sense of entitlement, a snobbish desire to look better than others by making sure no one ever sees them in any negative light. I feel they now are continuing this behavior at a time when the truth is of utmost importance. That rankles a great deal.
I think of Mark Hacking's family, and the Unibomber's brother. They handled horrific tragedies caused by their own loved one in a quiet, honest manner. These families suffered horribly but they acted much differently despite their suffering. Both of these families have spoken about their unconditonal love for their criminal relations but neither lied to get them off, and both worked to make sure their loved one took responsibility.
Then , I think of other families like SP's parents and Neil Entwhistle's mother. These people acted in a much different manner and frankly, I found their antics to be completely reprehensible. Mrs. Entwhistle actually tried to besmirch the name of her murdered daughter-in-law, accusing her of murdering her own baby and SP's family did horrible things to Lacy's grieving parents, like keep her belongings and the unborn baby's things hostage, or telling them "f#*k you" when Lacy's step-father tried to show compassion. I think the Anthonys are of this ilk and it is very nasty.
True, I am not in the Anthony's shoes. It is a good reminder to at least try to feel some compassion for them. I have in the past and I will continue to try. But, frankly, I can no longer be understanding. Simply, I find the Anthony family to be plain disgusting and I do believe that their conduct since the initial calls and conversations with LE, after discovering that little Caylee was missing and her mother's car reeked of death, tells us all a lot about how this abhorrent crime was able to happen to begin with. They did not deserve to lose their granddaughter. I'm sorry for that. But little Caylee did not deserve to be executed at the hands of the one who was supposed to protect her and regardless of the circumstances, little Caylee deserves much more than a family that will lie, cheat and steal to prevent her murderer from taking responsibility for that. JMO.
 

Dear Prudence

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Personally I beleive that we should all take a step back. I believe that if we were all in the same postion as George and Cindy we would all mess up too. Maybe not as bad, but noone is perfect, and we have to realize that this is all new to George and Cindy.

Don't get me wrong, I do NOT agree, nor do I condone what any of the Anthony's have done. But what I will say, is NONE of us have lived the lives of George, or Cindy, and non of us know how we would react, how we would handle the media, how we would handle the CONSTANT media attention, how we would handle the rumors.

And for those of you that sit here and say, that George and Cindy are not victims, I ask you to stop and think.

The first victim is Caylee, the second victims in this are George and Cindy. As I am fairly certain that they did not wake up one day and say "Gee I think I will play a part in my grandaughters dissapearence."

Yes the Anthonys have made some very BAD choices. But honestly can you sit here and put yourself in 100% of their shoes, and say that you would do everything Perfectly?? I know I couldn't. I beleive that we all fall back into coping mechanisms to an extent when we are in a crisis. And I beleive that SOME of what we are seeing is coping mechanisms that are coming out.

We are VERY critical of others when it is not our lives! But folks, please remember this, NOONE is perfect. If a person was, I am sure everyone would be cloning that person!

I feel for George and Cindy because they lost their granddaughter most likely at the hand of their daughter, which has to be the most horrific situation to go through. But, they are not the first or last grandparents to be in this situation. When people say NONE of us know how they feel or what they are going through that is wrong. I personally do not know, thank goodness. But filicide unfortunately is not rare. In homicides of children under the age of five, 57% are killed by their parent. George and Cindy are not the first grandparents to be faced with this terrible tragedy. Yes, they are victims but they are not the only ones. The media has followed them because they have allowed it by always responding in such a confrontational way. I don't recall seeing many if any of the other 57% victims of this on television.
 

Short_Stuff

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This is the main reasons CA and GA make me upset. They shouldnt have said a word to media ever not one word, and most importantly they should have confronted KC for once in their life (ie the jail visits where they cater to her.. is wrong just plain wrong). If they would have confronted her, she would finally learn a lesson.
 

affinity

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I even feel sadness for KC..I was thinking about her the other day, about how desperate she seemed to try to nail down a man. At the heart of that type of desperation is someone who possibly never felt loved..really loved. Like other Mothers who murdered their children, KC was willing to get rid of her beautiful child so that KC could have what she wanted. You can bet that Cindy wants love, George wants love and KC wants love. It is so sad to think that the very person who loved them all so easily was "taken out" like she was.
I was shocked when I visited the CBS news comment page...the vitriol against the Anthonys is too much! Yes, they have handled things poorly...but I do not hate them at all. I feel very sad for everyone.
 

BondJamesBond

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You know. Regardless of how G&C have behaved...regardless of fault...regardless of what they coulda/shoulda done to prevent this from happening...and what they should & shouldn't do now...

...not in a million years would I wanna trade places with them.
 

Brini

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I even feel sadness for KC..I was thinking about her the other day, about how desperate she seemed to try to nail down a man. At the heart of that type of desperation is someone who possibly never felt loved..really loved. Like other Mothers who murdered their children, KC was willing to get rid of her beautiful child so that KC could have what she wanted. You can bet that Cindy wants love, George wants love and KC wants love. It is so sad to think that the very person who loved them all so easily was "taken out" like she was.
I was shocked when I visited the CBS news comment page...the vitriol against the Anthonys is too much! Yes, they have handled things poorly...but I do not hate them at all. I feel very sad for everyone.

Sociopaths don't particularly care to be loved. They don't love, and they don't understand love. They want attention.

Don't feel sorry for KC. If she got out, down the road she'd likely get preggers, again, and kill another kid. Or, she'd take out a life insurance on a husband, and off him. She's an empty box.
 

Brini

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You know. Regardless of how G&C have behaved...regardless of fault...regardless of what they coulda/shoulda done to prevent this from happening...and what they should & shouldn't do now...

...not in a million years would I wanna trade places with them.

I wouldn't either. But, then, I would not enable a sociopathic child, to begin with.
 

Baxter

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But George and Cindy did wake up one day and decided to lie to protect Casey. Because of that I do not see them as victims. Caylee is the only victim.
 

thatswhatshesaid

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You're not the only one who still feels...I can't even properly describe it...not exactly sympathy or empathy exactly, but a sadness for them...about them.

G&C have deeply obvious personal and mental issues. The entire household was a hothouse flourishing with dysfunction. Denial seems to have been a powerfully ingrained part of their daily lives for years. IMO, even the most emotionally healthy family would have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that their daughter not only had her entire life based on lies, but also murdered her own toddler. Even the most rational people would take time (and not just weeks or months, despite the desires of people watching the case from afar) to accept something so horrific. It would take time and fortitude to be able to disengage from their daughter, to admit personally then publicly what she had done and allow the courts to render their judgment. I think, even starting from the best of emotional places, it would be a nightmare that would try the soul beyond comprehension. And I'd never trade places with them either.

The interview on the CBS morning show seemed to me like G&C are retreating even more into how they *wish* Casey was, how they *wish* life before could have been, how they *wish* there was some phantom they could blame for Caylee's murder. (And in a way who can blame them for *wishing* it was someone other than their own daughter who killed her own daughter?) BUT that is what fueled so much of this in the first place, that poison trifecta of denial, fantasy land living, and magical based thinking.

I don't think they knew from the beginning how to behave emotionally and not speak to the media. I don't think they know how to live any differently. I don't think their behavior is going to change (or endear anyone) anytime soon. And like I said above, it just makes me...sad.
 

autumnlover

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There is no one in the world more important to me than my son. I would easily die for him. When he was born, I knew I was given the most precious gift any human being can be blessed with and my husband and I did our best to instill the right values, ethics and morals in him. During his teen years he gave us the usual fits teenagers give their parents but I'm proud to say he is now a fine young man that I'm proud of for all the right reasons. He doesn't lie, he doesn't steal and he is a man of impeccable integrity.

Having said that, because of the value system we have brought him up with, when he has erred, he has owned up to his mistakes and lived with any consequences. If my son was arrested for murder (heaven forbid!) and the evidence was overwhelmingly against him the last thing I would be doing would be lying for him. I would say publicly that my son is entitled to a fair trial. Period. Then I would go crawl back under my rock and wait until the trial and hope and pray that the evidence is wrong.

The A's had a huge memorial for Caylee, which was really more about them, IMO, and that was the extent of their support for her. Over and done with! Now they're on a mission to lie to the public with apparent impunity (though hopefully they will pay for that) about "how proud " they are of their daughter and "what a wonderful mother she is" and "no red flags" and on and on, ad nauseum. Second verse, same as the first. Though there have been times that I have felt genuine compassion for them, they make it awfully hard to keep it up. They just don't get the negative impact they have on the public. When all is said and done, somebody needs to tell them that every time they open their mouths, KC takes one step closer to the chair.
 

Duckley

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Do
Grieve.
Get Victims assistance.
Love your child.
Support your child.


Dont
Lie
Deflect
Cover-up
Obscure
 

Dear Prudence

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I wouldn't either. But, then, I would not enable a sociopathic child, to begin with.

I'm curious, what would you do with a sociopathic child? Unless you have personally dealt with a sociopath in your life it is really hard to understand how difficult it can be.
 

MAMABEAR

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I'm curious, what would you do with a sociopathic child? Unless you have personally dealt with a sociopath in your life it is really hard to understand how difficult it can be.

I can't match all the beautiful brains here and can't write the best words but I can answer this one-----if I may.
 

MAMABEAR

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When she was small she threw fits. I walked away. She learned right off the bat that she wasn't going to shove me in a corner. It continued on and off like this until she left home at 16 and I went and found her and drug her azz back home. When she was 18yo she was allowed to move on lil piggy (I lucked out because there was no 2 yo child to worry about).

I'm not saying I'm perfect-----H3ll no----far from it. I worried about her---didn't know where she was nor what she was doing. She came back home a year later. She told me a few thangs that happened to her. I read way more into want she said. I took it that she had a very hard time of it. She married---3 kids and thangs seemed ok for a long time.
 
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