In Defense (Sort of) of The Grandparents

Discussion in 'Caylee Anthony 2 years old' started by jinnimae, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. jinnimae

    jinnimae Former Member

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    Yeah, I know, I must be on crack or something!

    This is written from the perspective of a grandparent AND a parent of less-than perfect children. I must say, however, whenever LE became involved, I was the worst "legal aid" for my kids, and I'm educated in the field. My advise always was: "did you do it? Then tell the cops THE TRUTH! Take your medicine. Don't even think of lying to me, or we WILL share a cell, you for your crime, me for assault and MAJOR battery".

    There, got that out of the way.

    Now, about George and Cindy-

    I think they knew when they got the car back that Casey had done something terrible with their precious Caylee. And, I'll bet if someone could get Cindy to tell the truth, she'd admit that she loved Caylee more than Casey, and Casey knew it. Grandchildren, if they're lucky, have a much more "special" relationship with their grandparents. Sometimes that doesn't sit well with the parents.

    I think Cindy and George went into what for them has been a life-long habit, covering up for Casey. As bad as she is, she's still their kid. But, all the time they're doing their (assumed) cover-up, they are going into shock.

    A parent's worst nightmare is the loss of a child, a grandparents is the loss of a grandchild. These people have to be out of their minds with grief. One of the stages of grief is denial, another is bargaining. Maybe they know, deep down inside, that they'll never see Caylee again. But, on a cognitive level, they're still hoping they will see her again. Maybe, since Casey has such a history of lying, they are refusing to believe whatever she may have REALLY told them about what happened to Caylee.

    So, they go along with the "she's been kidnapped" story. It gives them hope. It helps them to believe that their daughter is not the monster we suspect she it. That's their daytime reality. At night, however, I bet they cry themselves to sleep, cos reality always looks worse in the dark.

    As we say in my neck of the woods, they're probably feeling like Casey ripped their hearts out and stomped on them. In this respect, I feel so badly for them.

    But, for everything they (we suspect) did to cover up whatever Casey did to Caylee, I say they deserve all their grief. I feel for them, but sometimes ya just gotta pay. I do pray for them.

    Are you a grandparent? How, as a grandparent, do you feel about this?
     
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  3. OkGrace

    OkGrace New Member

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    But, for everything they (we suspect) did to cover up whatever Casey did to Caylee, I say they deserve all their grief. I feel for them, but sometimes ya just gotta pay. I do pray for them.

    Are you a grandparent? How, as a grandparent, do you feel about this?[/QUOTE]

    Snipped

    I am a GP of a 2yo.
    My thoughts are pretty much in line with yours.
    It would kill me, absolutely destroy me should something happen to this little guy who has stolen my heart.
    I am also a Mom who loves my children, way back when I have always said if you get in trouble do not call me unless it is an absolutely 100% wrong reason. I realize there are times when we can help them however we do not "help" when we cover for them or make excuses, especially when there is a innocent, dependent child in the picture.
    I think as a parent along with providing a safe enviroment/financial support my job is also to instill morals and teach right from wrong.


    Hoping for the safe return of little Caylee SOON!

    and PS I do feel for the Anthony's and those unfortunate soals who have crossed paths with thier daughter.
     
  4. Rose Mom

    Rose Mom Former Member

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    I have always felt this is their way of coping with the loss of their grandchild, right or wrong this is how they are able to function, holding on to hope that THIS TIME Casey is telling the truth
     
  5. s1rebecca

    s1rebecca New Member

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    I can understand a mothers love and belief that your child can not be a bad person. I had some problems with my daughter when she was 14, I after a couple months I realized we needed to get some family counseling. During this time she was involved with this boy that warped her brain. As punishment for skipping school I took her cell phone away. While she was doing her in school suspension she stole a cell phone from her own soccer coach. They asked me and I said no she never would do something like that, I asked her, she swore to god she didn't do it and I believed her. Said she would never do anything like that. It wasn't until the coach and his father came to our house and told me and my husband they have her on tape and were going to press charges did she finally admit that she did it. I was devistated, embarressed, could not believe that a child I raised was a liar and a thief. But now she's almost 17 after a lot of counseling, a school change and a better set of friends she is doing very well. Does good in school, has a job (yes a real job). But I guess I can understand how you could never imagine your child doing bad, but I don't think I could cover up a murder for her, especially if I had a grandchild that I love. I can't imagine my mother covering it up for me and my sister, she would be the first one to probably knock the crap out of us to get the truth.
     
  6. zadari

    zadari New Member

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    i feel badly for them.. even when your kid is a grown up which one of my 2 is he is going to be 18 in 4 months .you dont view them as adults they are always your baby .. sure they are grown up but in your heart you dont feel that way . this is probably what they are going through .. my heart breaks for them , they probably dont want to lose the only part of caylee they have left .. and you can see they do love thier granddaughter ... i can imagine the pain they are having . but they need to understand its over... if they feel in thier hearts casey did something then she probably did .. most parents know when thier kids do something wrong .. you just feel it .. i cant imagine what they must be feeling .. to know thier daughter couldve killed thier angel baby . who was once thier angel baby .. also what i mean by wrong i mean something really bad .. something that will forever change them and you
     
  7. Fandy

    Fandy Polite & Interested Newbie, if I don't ask, I'll n

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    I am a parent of a less than perfect daughter who lied, stole and put me and her father through hell and back. We took her to counseling for 6 years straight, we also did family counseling. She lied to us, grandparents and the counselors. She has zero respect for me or her father. We gave her every social and financial advantage, but it was not appreciated. (she's now 27)

    Finally i went to counseling for myself (for 3 years)...and learned that I cannot change her, but I do not have to support her or enable her and I don't...I don't think Cindy& George have had this epiphany yet.

    BUT, she is my child and I love her, I just don't like her, she is not a good person.

    As a parent you always have hope that your child will be OK and it is so hard to face up to the fact that they are not what you raised them to be....I don't know where Casey's wires got crossed, she has no remorse.
    sorry to be so long-winded,its hard to translate this feeling i have.
     
  8. Truth Seeker

    Truth Seeker New Member

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    If I were in their shoes - the first thing I would have done was kept my mouth shut! Regardless if I thought or even suspected she did something to Caylee.

    I would have done my best to get her to fess up & stop the lies instead of trying to covering up her every lie...
    To me this speaks volumes about the whole family and how they raised Casey!

    I am not a grandmother but I am the mother of 2 sons that have been raised to always tell the truth regardless of the consequences.

    This is sad but someone has to give an account for Caylee!! I am only sad for Caylee at this point.
     
  9. Chesapeake

    Chesapeake New Member

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    I am a grandparent and ITA with every word.
     
  10. jinnimae

    jinnimae Former Member

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    Thanks all for your responses.

    Grandkids Rock!
     
  11. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    I have been supportive of the Anthony's since the beginning and have taken quite a bit of grief over it. I think they got a bum deal and many of their actions were misconstrued.
    I think they, like most of us, were and remain ill equipped to handle such an ordeal.
    tragedy all the way around.
     
  12. Cagney

    Cagney Out of the corner!

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    Before we are parents we all have these ideals of what kind of parent are we going to be. We often tell people who already are or have been parents how we would do things differently.
    Then when we become parents, those ideals seem to convienently go out the window.

    I am a parent, and I would like to think that I would never help my child cover up something as big or detrimental as this. Especially if my grandchild were involved. While my ideals may have changed once I became a parent, my morals and ethics didn't. With the exception of a few that I now hold to a higher standard.

    I do have a certain amount of sympathy for C and G for a brief moment, until I remember all of the covering up and excuses they have made. Then that sympathy passes.
     
  13. Blackwatch

    Blackwatch Former Member

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    I have 15 or so grandchildren, some step-grandkids, some I never see for one reason or another. I'm also the parent of a blonde Casey Anthony and a crack-addicted son, plus several assorted others. Let me tell you, folks, I know whereof I speak.

    If I was in this situation I probably would try to help my child, to some extent, but not to the extend the Anthony's are taking this, in my opinion. I believe the Anthony's are more involved in this than a simple cover up, but that's only my opinion.

    I would help my child by trying to put a better spin on things than the facts warrant, even though I knew it might not be true. I would not, however, outright lie. I could not do that. I would help with a lawyer, send money to the jail commisary, and visit - been there, done that, but I would not "outright" lie.

    My grandchildren are very precious babies, but so are my children, whatever they have grown up to be and everyone who grows up makes their own choices. Some may have no choices if they are born sociopathic - and I believe they are born, not raised. I also believe it runs in families.

    I believe most parents/grandparents would give some aid to their adult children, but in my opinion the gps in this case have gone further, much further, than duty ever asked of them.
     
  14. weasel

    weasel New Member

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    I have to admit, it broke my heart when I heard Cindy say to Casey on the phone if anything has happened to Caylee, "I'll just die".
     
  15. Ladytazz

    Ladytazz Former Member

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    I still think the grandparents had nothing to do with Caylee's disappearance or cover up. What gets me is that at first they were more then willing to think that something happened to their granddaughter and that their daughter had something to do with it. They have shown in the past that they knew their daughter was a liar and a thief. They even knew she had serious mental problems (Casey is a sociopath). They searched their backyard looking for signs of foul play. They knew they couldn't trust their daughter. Even in the first phone call from Casey, when she was upset because Cindy had said she didn't know what Casey's involvement was, that showed that they had doubts. Now all of the sudden complete faith in what their daughter is saying about Caylee being kidnapped. It doesn't make sense unless they are only giving a public show of support and faith. Cindy learned how quickly Casey would turn against her if she doubted her. Maybe they are just going along to hopefully get Casey to admit the truth, all the while hoping against hope that this is the one time that Casey isn't lying. I just don't think they are as supportive to Casey as they want us, and Casey, to believe. Maybe they don't want to look like bad parents, maybe they just think you stick with family no matter what to the public, but I am hoping that in reality they know the truth and are just putting up a front. I think Lee knows the truth, that's why we don't hear from him anymore.
     
  16. txsvicki

    txsvicki Active Member

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    I'm a grandparent. I have sympathy for the Anthony's if they lost a grandchild to death, but if they really truly felt that Casey is a sociopath three weeks prior to the disappearance there should have been no arguing or threats made. I have enough sense to know that could be very dangerous and that sociopaths/psychopaths are capable of about anything. I'm not sure what they could have done, but maybe gone to a judge or attorney with everything and not let Casey know ahead of time. What a shame for all involved.
     
  17. pixies

    pixies Former Member

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    No pity whatsoever for this family.

    By supporting Casey in her lies and behavior they contributed directly to Caylee's death.

    By supporting their daughter in her lies and behavior they are allowing Caylee to decay in some trash dump or some canal.

    I hope they keep on lying and hindering the investigation because soon they will trip up and BE CHARGED with, I hope, some serious obstuction charges.
     
  18. McNugget

    McNugget Inactive

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    I could be mistaken, but I believe it was Christine/Kristine, a friend of Casey's who occasionally babysat Caylee who said that over the phone.
     
  19. Malini2001

    Malini2001 I'm controlled by the cats

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    I'm not a grandparent ...but I have a very dear 2 1/2 yr old grand-niece that I'm very close to. I think of Caylee every time I see her. Her mother is a 21 yr old single parent, but doesn't have any of Casey's characteristics. I agree with a lot of what you are saying.

    The parents knew Casey lied and stole. But she is their child and I don't think they ever thought she had no redeeming qualities. I know parents who have problem children and they don't usually think life is always going to be like this - there is usually hope for improvement. The Anthonys may have even thought that as she matured she would "grow out" of the constant lies. I think they did believe she had a job and they did believe there was a nanny somewhere. They probably didn't realize the extent of her lies. Caylee seemed healthy and happy so I'm betting they thought things were looking up to an extent. I guess they recently found out about the theft from Casey's grandparents and that set off the latest explosion.....in retrospect it would have been best for them to have removed Caylee from Casey's control at that point........but I don't think they ever thought she would injure he baby. I think when it was verified (after many phone conversations) that Caylee was "missing" I think they did go into shock, especially Cyndy.

    I'm still not convinced Casey knowingly did something to injure Caylee. I don't think she is a very bright girl and she doesn't have much common sense. I think something happened to Caylee because of her inattention or because of the inattention of someone she entrusted her to. And I do think she was stupid enough to be dropping Caylee off in the hallway or meeting the "nanny" somewhere and not even really know where the "nanny" lived.

    I don't think her parents know exactly what has happened to Caylee. I think they have an inkling and it is too horrific to think about so they are in denial/defensive mode. I think they want to believe almost anything Casey says if it means Caylee is okay. They are coddling Casey in the hopes that she will give them a shred of hope to cling to. She is the only link they have to Caylee.

    I really feel for the whole family and for the people that thought they were friends with Casey. They have all been betrayed. No matter what they thought of Casey's behavior, I am sure nobody thought that she would ever harm Caylee.

    Hindsight is wonderful. Yes, they should have sought psychiatric help long ago. I just don't think anyone could predict that Casey's life of lies would lead to a loss of life. And I'm sure they will regret it until the end of their own lives.
     
  20. coltsgal

    coltsgal #1 Colts Fan

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    When the one reporter asked George about the possibility of Caylee being dead, he FLIPPED. (rightfully so)

    I dont think that option is discussed in that house. I think they just feel that they have no other choice than to believe Casey, because Caylee being dead is NOT an option for them. They refuse to believe it's possible.

    I can understand that.
     
  21. Love_Mama

    Love_Mama Rest In Peace

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