Internet fury after customer describes on Facebook how salon owner 'made mom and her

Discussion in 'Bullies and Stalkers' started by HMSHood, May 30, 2013.

  1. HMSHood

    HMSHood Admiral-Class Battlecruiser

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  3. HMSHood

    HMSHood Admiral-Class Battlecruiser

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    A Statement from Michelle Mott:

    “To say that the last few days at M-Spa have been challenging is an understatement. We are all aware of the significant attention given to a Facebook posting regarding a recent haircut for one of our spa’s youngest customers. Social media has been used to create an impression of me and this event in ways which do not fairly reflect who I am and which seek to silence differing viewpoints about what occurred. While this is very unfortunate, I am not going to review those differences here.

    “Rather, I want to say that my actions were not intended to create any hardship or embarrassment for little Grayson or his parents. And while I believed that Grayson’s parents understood that, when Mrs. Bays stayed for her highlight and cut at our spa right after Grayson had left with his father, I want to reassure the Bays family of this point. I apologize to Grayson and the Bays for any embarrassment or hardship that they have experienced by my actions.

    “We look forward to better days ahead and we will continue to strive to be the best spa in southwest Michigan. To those who have voiced displeasure with me or with my spa over this incident, I will work hard to regain your faith in our services. To those who have indicated that my business should be boycotted, I would ask only that you consider the impact of such a boycott upon the many families who derive some portion or all of their livelihood from our spa. To those who have withheld judgment or have voiced support over the last few days, including my treasured customers and employees, I extend my heartfelt appreciation.”


    http://www.m-spa.com/

    Does not sound like an apology to me. Rather too late. :crazy:
     
  4. BethInAK

    BethInAK New Member

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    I'd be willing not to pass judgement if the parents has posted the rant against the owner but a complete stranger - a concerned patron posted it. Clearly, Motts behavior was so obviously inappropriate that strangers stepped up to the plate to rectify the situation.

    I hope she goes out of business.
     
  5. HMSHood

    HMSHood Admiral-Class Battlecruiser

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    The spa has bad reviews before for having poor customer service and just overall unfriendly.

    http://www.yelp.com/biz/m-spa-portage
     
  6. ArianeEmory

    ArianeEmory I know the pieces fit

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    I'm confused, this story seems like it's missing some pieces. Was the child screaming and disturbing the other clients? The story is carefully worded so as not to say what "Mott" was giving the mother a "tongue lashing" about. It manages to suggest that she was berating the mother for her child *being* autistic, which of course makes no sense. It also carefully uses the word "crying", which gives the impression of a child quietly sobbing. I don't know, I just have this feeling the kid was probably screaming. (Maybe I've had too many nice dinners out recently ruined by people who will let their toddlers wail endlessly at the next table.)
     
  7. TheDuchess

    TheDuchess Active Member

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    We were recently at a ball game and my youngest daughter was playing with a bunch of kids at the park. There was a girl, a younger sister of a boy on the opposing team, that apparently was having some issues with my daughter. My daughter came to me and told me that the little girl was saying mean things to her and her friends and sticking out her tongue at them. She also said that the mother "yelled" at her (my daughter) and told her to stop being mean to the little girl. (I quoted yelled as it is a very subjective term coming from my very dramatic 8 year old daughter.)

    Anyway, I gave her my typical response of "just stay away from her the best you can-the game is almost over anyway and we'll be going soon." As we were walking to our cars after the game, my daughter was relaying the story and the little girl and her mother were getting into their car, parked right next to ours. As we were pulling out, the little girl stuck her tongue out at my husband. He stopped the car to get out and yell at the mother, when the mother jumped out of her car, in complete frustration, and yelled back at him "I'm sorry....she can't help it...she is autistic!!!"

    My heart sank. We told her it was OK and we were sorry and we understood. But this scene had a big impact on me and my kids. It made us remember that we don't always know everyone else's situation. I could be judgmental and say that the mother should watch her autistic child better and she could have handled the situation better...but in reflection, I began to think about this woman's typical day. A day spent trying to police a young child who obviously has serious problems that cause all kinds of issues. I imagined the mother's frustrations trying to handle these situations on a regular basis. And then I thought about just how lucky I am that my kids are happy and healthy. It allowed me to put myself in her shoes for a moment and really think about what her life might be like.

    So the next time you have a nice dinner out "ruined" by the behavior of someone's child, think instead about what might be going on in the family. What their daily lives might be like. Perhaps this is a special occasion that they thought would go well, or perhaps they felt they deserved a nice evening out as well. Instead of letting your dinner get "ruined" take a few moments to reflect yourself and all of the good things you have in your life, mainly the fact that you can afford to go out and have a nice dinner, that you are healthy enough to leave your home, etc...

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I hear this from people all of the time, and I just don't get it. Where is the compassion in this world? I've seen this type of thing in restaurants before and I just look at the poor parents with sympathy, because anyone who has ever had a toddler knows that they can be unpredictable and can turn from a perfect sweet angel into a demon child in a matter of seconds for the tiniest thing! With autistic children, it is constant.

    Please don't blame parents who bring out their autistic children in social situations. It is our fault as a society when we cannot tolerate them. They have a disability and while it may "bother" you or be inconvenient, it is no different that asking someone not to bring their wheelchair bound child, or disfigured child, or a child with anything else that may cause you "distress." Parents should have the right to bring their children to any public place they choose with their children that children are welcome, and to me, that includes restaurants, airplanes and yes-salons.

    JMO
     
  8. Opie

    Opie Well-Known Member

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    TheDuchess:

    Thank you for your very thoughtful post.

    As the grandparent of a child (now 18 and doing much better in many ways) with Asperger's and another diagnosis, I can easily recall some of his meltdowns in social situations. Most of his life has been spent with our daughter as a single mother, as this child's father could not handle the situation.

    Mothers of autistic children live on the edge at all times, never knowing what the child might do next, day or night. I too am disturbed by a child misbehaving while we are out having dinner, but have to remind myself that there may be problems we can't see with that child.

    If, on the other hand, the parents do absolutely nothing to even attempt to settle or remove the child, that's a whole different story. Sometimes it's very obvious the parents are the problem, showing complete indifference to the other diners.
     
  9. fhc

    fhc New Member

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    yesterday, when I heard this story on a national news channel, there was a response from a viewer saying that a salon in their area has special appt. times for children. As a mother that left with my babies or young toddler for the car while dining out so we wouldn't disturb other diners, only to have husband wait for meals to be made to go and pay our tab, it seems like a wonderful idea to have family hour(s) for young families to dine, too.
     
  10. TheDuchess

    TheDuchess Active Member

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    Honestly, I rarely see this. I would find it frustrating trying to eat my dinner and kids were acting up and the parents did nothing at all. But typically, I do see parents trying to settle their kids down, looking very embarrassed, often pulling them away from the situation, etc...

    This reminds me of a funny story. We were once on the road with my 2 boys who were very young at the time. I think they were about 3 and 5. We stopped at a Jack in the Box to get something to eat, go to the bathroom and just get out of the car. We had been on the road for several hours, and if you have ever had kids, you know how much they love being cooped up in a car together for so many hours.

    Anyway, we got our meals and were finishing up eating when the boys broke out their kid's meals toys and got up from the table and started running around the dining room area with their toys. They were giggling and enjoying themselves. The place was completely empty except for an elderly couple. Typically, in a situation like that, we get a couple of giggles, or a smile from someone seeing the boys having fun and laughing. Well, the old man started yelling at the boys and then laid into us about what horrible parents we were to allow such a thing!!! We said we were sorry and had the boys come sit down as we finished cleaning up the table getting ready to leave, but he kept up and kept up. "Our children would never behave this way, etc..."

    Well, my husband had enough at that point and told the guy-Hey-these kids have been cooped up in a car for over 8 hours and are just having a little fun, they aren't hurting anyone, so lighten up....It's Jack in the Box!!!! Not the Ritz!!! LOL!!!

    Now, some of you can say we should have kept better control over our kids and I say-life is too short to constantly worry all of the time about what people think. I would never take my kids to a fancy restaurant and let them run around, but if you are going to stop at Jack in the Box on a Saturday afternoon, don't expect to have a quiet dining experience with no children running around!!!

    Last story-we were at Epcot standing in line at the Mexico walk up restaurant. It was very crowded and people were squished into the line like sardines. An older man and his wife were working their way cutting through the lines with their trays and the man kept saying in a very loud voice "Watch your CHILDREN....Watch your CHILDREN!!!!" Everyone in line just laughed and laughed at the hilarity of someone at Disney World being so perturbed by the simple presence of young children....at DISNEY WORLD!!!

    I feel that life is too short to constantly be offended by people around you. The planet keeps getting smaller and more crowded and we've just got to pick our battles sometimes and not sweat the small stuff going on around us so much. That's all.
     
  11. Sonya610

    Sonya610 Former Member

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    Restaurants and salons are not "public places" they are private businesses that have the right to refuse service to individuals due to their BEHAVIOR. Being in a wheelchair or being disfigured is NOT the same as someone carrying on in a loud and disruptive manner.

    If the salon did have specific appointment hours for children (no doubt so their adult patrons could have a quiet and relaxing salon experience) then were those policies respected by the parents?
     
  12. TheDuchess

    TheDuchess Active Member

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    You are incorrect, actually...a disability is a disability...no matter how it is displayed. The child is autistic, he behaved as an autistic person sometimes behaves and HE CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!

    And you are wrong...a spa is a PUBLIC business open to the PUBLIC. They cannot choose to refuse service to anyone simply because of a disability. They need to accommodate the patron.

    As far as I know, there are not private hours for children available at the salon. They were just in there for a regularly scheduled appointment when the owner verbally unleashed on the client-and she didn't give a toot about the child's disability.

    The funny part is that the parent didn't make the complaint. Another patron made the complaint. And her half-hearted "apology" didn't help the matter much.
     
  13. Perodicticus potto

    Perodicticus potto Member

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    "Internet fury" + Daily Mail article = need for one of these:

    [​IMG]
     
  14. pistolina

    pistolina New Member

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    I wonder why kids today don’t show compassion for others. Now I’m starting to believe it is because the adults around them aren’t setting the right example. JMO
     
  15. ArianeEmory

    ArianeEmory I know the pieces fit

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    For context, I'm not talking about Denny's or a toddler-friendly family restaurant. I'm not talking about a couple of shrieks and then a parent taking the kid outside to comfort them. I'm talking about 8pm in an expensive sushi restaurant, with a table next to us with two toddlers in high chairs wailing the entire time, to the point I could not hear my dining companion speaking. This is not a theoretical scenario, this happened to me two or three weeks ago. None of the many adults at the table did anything about it. Every time I glanced over, I could see the restaurant manager staring at the table with an unhappy look on his face, knowing he couldn't intervene on behalf of the rest of his customers because he'd end up with a retaliatory review on yelp--or a Facebook lynch mob.

    It's fairly common in the area I live. It's rude. Period. I avoid family-friendly restaurants as much as possible because I am sensitive to extremely loud noises (check out the PTSD thread in the Jodi Arias forum for backstory on that), but it doesn't really matter anymore, because in my area people will take their 3-year-olds to Ruth's Chris on Valentine's Day. This is not something that used to be done--fine dining was for adults (and well-behaved kids), not unhappy toddlers.

    I am considerate of my neighbors and people around me. I don't blast loud music in my apartment, I don't shout in book stores or yell at the screen in movie theaters. I do not have an implied obligation to have a nice/expensive meal ruined just because there are children involved and I'm supposed to put their parents' enjoyment above my own.
     
  16. Opie

    Opie Well-Known Member

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    ArianeEmory-
    I'm right with you on this one. This agrees with the point I was trying to make above. These folks were in a "nice" restaurant and were making no attempt to prevent their little ones from disturbing the other diners. That is just plain thoughtless, rude, and self-centered. We have asked to be moved in situations like that and if the ignoramuses were insulted, well that's just tough.

    Our family certainly knew enough to avoid such places with my grandson when he was very young.

    Of course, I used to have the same problem with someone lighting up his after-dinner cigar at the table in such places, but that's a topic for another thread. The underlying theme though is the "it's all about ME" attitude if I want to smoke or let my child disturb others, and tough cookies for anyone who objects.
     
  17. Jen38

    Jen38 New Member

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    From what I recall, reading the article, the child was having a meltdown at receiving a haircut. Sometimes for a child on the spectrum this is as much of a sensory issue as anything. Holding still, sometimes light touches as someone they don't know cuts their hair, it is really dependent on the child. My son has to have his hair cut with scissors, because clippers near his ears really scares him. It could be it was this child's first visit, and both he and his parents had no idea how he would do.
    There really is a difference between an autistic meltdown and temper tantrum, and usually, sensory challenges are at the root of it. I feel bad for the mom of this boy, because there are just some days when you feel like a brand new parent with no experience whatsoever.
     
  18. pistolina

    pistolina New Member

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    This is not directed at anyone and is only my opinion.

    Everyone has things that they find offensive. Everyone has things that they find rude. Personally the smell of floral perfume turns my stomach and will ruin my dinner if seated next to someone wearing it but that’s my problem. And if someone’s child is bothering you – that’s your problem and you should remove yourself from the situation so the family can enjoy their meal in peace without your catty comments or nasty looks.

    I personally have been dragged to many family dinners by my in-laws to totally child unfriendly places and at times that are the worst for my children. I did not want to go and I did not enjoy myself because I was too worried about everyone else. Did that stop them from giving me dirty looks - NOPE.
     
  19. HMSHood

    HMSHood Admiral-Class Battlecruiser

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    Sad isn't it. The apple does not fall far from the tree.
     
  20. Sonya610

    Sonya610 Former Member

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    I completely agree. This was a 2 year old getting his HAIR CUT IN FANCY SALON!

    Sorry but how hard is it to cut the 2 year old's hair AT HOME? If he carries on and cries/screams why subject other innocent people paying good money for a quiet salon experience to that???

    That salon should risk losing business because the mom insists her 2 year old has to have a fancy salon cut? It is ridiculous.

    Common sense and courtesy people! I guess that doesn't exist anymore at ALL.
     
  21. TheDuchess

    TheDuchess Active Member

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    Are many of us missing the whole point of this thread and this story???

    1.) We are talking about an autistic child-not a "normal kid" having a "normal tantrum."
    2.) The family were regular visitors to the salon and often went to the salon. The child had his haircut by the same stylist several times prior to this without much incident, although the stylist understood the situation and didn't seem to have a problem with it.
    3.) The owner of the salon, according to the witness, SCREAMED AND GAVE A VERY LOUD TONGUE LASHING in front of others at the salon while this was happening.
    4.) The mother was crying and apologizing and took the child outside, where he had his haircut finished.
    5.) The mother did not make the complaint. She actually went back inside, had her hair done while the father took the child home

    This has turned from a conversation about a salon owner who doesn't know how to treat her paying clients to a conversation about what a bad mother this woman is.

    And we are talking about teaching our children compassion and respect?
     

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