Don't know if any of you remember a post I made about a man I've received unwanted attention from in the last few months. I have an update (which pertains to stalking behavior).
Last contact I made with him was after 6 weeks of unreturned emails and attempts to contact me. I finally made it abundantly clear in a brief email telling him I wished no further contact on any level, no relationship on any level, no friendship and I found his behavior highly inappropriate for a married man. I'd not for one second been attracted to him so any attraction going on was completely one sided. I met him at a workshop and he wanted to be "friends" afterward. I did a few things with him for about 3 weeks until I realized he was a married man with a crush, never wearing a wedding ring and this girl don't play that way.
A week after that final email, he showed up at a concert I was running late in to with my family and he was standing at the door "coincidentally" rushing to the door at the same pace i was to meet me at the same moment. I literally started nearly running and rushed in ahead of him and found my seat.
So...last week when I was working out of town at a seminar (part of the teaching team), he showed up. I suspected he might. So I was ready to ignore him completely . I told all my other instructors I would not be interacting with him and they all had my back. There were over 100 people there so it wouldn't be too hard.
First break he approaches me calling me "katie". That is my nickname and you all know me as that but my real name is "Kathy" and it's what he called me until I started backing away. He knew "katiecoolady" is my sister's nickname for me so started adopting this once he knew I was cutting him off. Sick and manipulative. I never asked him to call me that.
He had overheard me saying our family had recently bought a house in Sedona. This creep literally approaches me with his little wholesome looking persona, calling me "katie" and asking me WHERE our house is. I politely(in front of other students) just said "West Sedona" and turned my head and he literally said "ok so if I get down the hill I turn to the left, then where do I go?". He thought I would give him directions? My co instructor was SHOCKED to hear that. I ignored him completely. He caught me off guard with the first question, not the second.
I teach a side class one evening. So was behind with one other volunteer helping me prepare the room. He left, then came back and went in the bathroom for a long time, came out, approached me again calling me "katie" and asked if he could help. I didn't look up, just said "nope all set". Then I did look up and directly said (this probably wasn't good but I was so incensed at him taking liberties with this private nickname he'd not called me before ) and said sternly, "you know that's not my name right?" he laughed a creepy laugh and said "I know but it's what I like to call you....katiecoolady and all". Me: "it's not my name" Him: "so are you saying you would prefer kathy instead of katie?" Me: Yes, my name is Kathy (head down, stern voice). Him: laughing "ok well I'll try..if I don't forget"
I got up and walked away. I never addressed him again. He kept trying to approach me over the next two days and I would literally turn on my heel and walk away. I have never been so rude to someone in my life so consistently
This man is a married LDS man who looks on the surface as someone who's very wholesome and just wants to learn, wants to help, wants to be of service. He's also very wealthy so I'm sure he is used to usually getting his way.
If he ever contacts me again, I've decided to get a restraining order. I doubt our paths will naturally cross again as we don't have mutual interests other than the workshop I met him in. They have told me they will never allow him back because of his predatory behavior.
It's so insidious how they go about it.
And to ALL of us, let this case be our cautionary tale to NEVER ignore these warning signs and act on them immediately and let ourselves have full permission to be "rude" and set firm boundaries with this kind of entitled, disrespectful, dangerous kind of person.
Edited to add: ALL OF YOU can call me Katie because that's how you've "met" me. That wasn't the case here, he met me in person, called me by my real name, found out my nickname then started using liberties with it once boundaries were set. Creepy!
