Judge orders man to take wife on date to Red Lobster

Discussion in 'Bizarre and Off-Beat News' started by davehead21, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. davehead21

    davehead21 Active Member

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  3. AnaTeresa

    AnaTeresa New Member

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    I'm sorry, but things like this trivialize domestic violence and get headlines for the wrong reasons. I'm not saying the judge should have necessarily brought down the hammer hard on this man, but he shoved his wife against the sofa and grabbed her neck. I think that merits a bit more than flowers and Red Lobster. Ufg.
     
  4. mysteriew

    mysteriew A diamond in process

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    This judge just reinforced the domestic violence cycle. There is a period of normality, abuse, a "honeymoon" phase where the abuser becomes very caring and generous, then a normal phase then more abuse.

    Congrats judge, you just helped him to justify more abuse. After all if he abuses her then takes her out to eat, it should be taken care of right?
     
  5. Quiche

    Quiche New Member

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    What an abysmal ruling! I hope she's not increasingly abuse, because this sure looks like a carte blanche to deck her when you want, as long as you're prepared to be nice later. grrrrr

    I'd like to speak to that judge's wife, I bet she could tell some stories. :mad:
     
  6. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    The Judge is an idiot.

    I do however question why in the world this couple stays together. GET A DIVORCE!!!! They fought over the husband forgetting her birthday??? REALLY?

    Good lord.:banghead:
     
  7. gitana1

    gitana1 Verified Attorney

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    I don't know them circumstances of this case. I don't understand this. Is the judge trying to justify such a silly ruling because perhaps the wife admit to shoving him first or attacking him and he only pushed her to get away? Or because she asked to drop the charges? Did they both minimize what happened?

    Either way, I think the judge's ruling is a slap in the face to domestic violence victims of either sex. If he felt there was not enough evidence to support a conviction, he should have acquitted. If this was merely a restraining order request, he should have denied it if he felt it was meritless. But to instead treat it without seriousness is a disservice.

    Domestic violence allegations are never a joke. There is never a reason to grab someone's throat, unless warding off an attack. I don't think this is funny at all.
     
  8. Wise Old Owl

    Wise Old Owl Retired WS Staff & Founding member of AFKBPOFPOPL

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    Welcome to South Flor-i-DUH!!!!

    This is right here, in my neck of the woods. Funny its the exact same courthouse where that one guy jumped the table in judge's chambers last year and dern near killed his wife - remember that one? The poor woman was beaten badly. There was just something in the paper about that guy and his sentence. I do believe he changed his plea to guilty.

    I don't know what this judge was thinking. Maybe he mistakenly thought it would be funny. NOT!!!!!!
     
  9. 21merc7

    21merc7 New Member

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    Perhaps counseling or the names of some good divorce attorneys would have been a better approach, since the Judge didn't thought the violence was "very, very minor"! WTH!!!!

    Bowling, flowers, and Red Lobster. Wow, I would flip out if anyone asked to take me bowling or to Red Lobster. That would be the end of the relationship. You really have to know someone before you can make suggestions about what to give them. Much less Court Orders.
     
  10. davehead21

    davehead21 Active Member

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    Exactly!! That's why I find it funny....not funny in the "haha" sense but funny in the "why can't these people see that they need to get a divorce" sense. And does the judge seriously think that a trip to Red Lobster and the bowling alley going to clear everything up? Just wow.
     
  11. Gracenote

    Gracenote We know that all things work together for good for

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    I didn't catch the whole story as I was cleaning but apparently in a domestic violence case the judge sentenced the husband to buy her a card, buy her flowers and take her to dinner. That crazy forbidden word that would get me punished.

    I have it on Foxnews and Shepard Smith was incensed, as was the female talking head. The male talking head said he thought it was a good thing.

    If there is already a thread about it please forgive me. I'll take you out to dinner to apologize :maddening:
     
  12. Reader

    Reader New Member

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    Geez...what a idjit!! I wonder about some of our local judges today....wanna bet a fight breaks out at the dinner?
     
  13. Nova

    Nova Active Member

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    This struck me as totally idiotic and offensive. But then I thought, "Well, if the victim is foolish enough to stay with her abuser, at least she gets an evening out. That's two hours where there will be witnesses and she should be safe."


    ***

    ETA here's a link. WARNING: I DON'T KNOW THE SITE AND I DIDN'T LOOK AT WHAT ALL IS THERE:

    http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/02...-sentenced-to-romantic-dinner-at-red-lobster/

    It seems the abuse stopped short of the man actually striking the woman and she told the judge she isn't afraid of her husband. The two were also ordered into counseling. So it's not quite as outrageous as it seems.

    But it does have an odor of "Beat your wife? Buy her flowers to say you're sorry."
     
  14. SyraKelly

    SyraKelly New Member

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    And for after dinner fun-bowling..I hope the victim stands him up and has divorce papers delivered while he waits at his table for her...The judge is a %^&$8..appalling!!!!
     
  15. BritsKate

    BritsKate Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderf

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    This seems to be an argument that got out of hand rather than domestic abuse. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/fl-flowers-food-bowling-20120207,0,947444.story

    However when a domestic abuse survivor (I hate the word victim) stays with his/her abuser it has nothing to do with 'foolishness'. Long term abuse leads to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, fear of recrimination, anxiety and depression among a host of other (very real) physical and psychological factors.

    No one chooses to be hurt. JMO
     
  16. Nova

    Nova Active Member

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    I'm sorry you didn't care for my choice of words. I meant "foolish" as in "unwise." And staying in a dangerous situation is unwise, regardless of why one does it.

    I have never belittled victims of domestic violence and did not mean to do so here. I am well aware there are complicated reasons why a victim might feel unable to leave a dangerous relationship.

    But I'm not sure we do victims of domestic violence any favor by telling them they are "helpless" and "unable to leave", even if that may sometimes be the case. Better we tell such people that they CAN leave and that there ARE resources available to help them (and then make sure those resources exist).

    ETA: as you can see, I am also willing to call a victim a victim. Whether s/he (usually she) becomes a survivor can't be determined until she is safe.
     
  17. Kimberlyd125

    Kimberlyd125 Softball is for everyone. Fast pitch is for athlet

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    Amen!!!

    EXACTLY!

    Over 80% abuse victims (or survivors :smile: ) stay.

    It's not as simple as just leaving.
     
  18. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    Ummm I'm guessing she's the one who filed charges and that's how they ended up in court. Wouldn't it have been wiser for her to seek the help she needed at a woman's shelter or somewhere safe? She admits not being afraid of her husband. The judge orders the husband to buy her flowers, dinner and a night out of bowling. IDK but I'd run as fast as I could after he slammed down the gavel.
     
  19. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    Yup. I don't get it either. The guy forgets her birthday and it turns into a minor domestic violence but yet she stays with the jerk.

    Run. Hide. Get a divorce. Somehow I don't think a Seafood Feast is going to solve this marriage.

    Where's Judge Judy when we need her? You can't fix stupid.
     
  20. iamnotagolem

    iamnotagolem Active Member

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    This makes me so sad. One of my friends has been in an abusive relationship for 15 years, I tried to help her get out of it. BUT her husband took her to Red Lobster (it's her favorite restaurant and he'd never taken her there in their entire marriage) she decided to stay.
     
  21. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    It could've been worse. He could've sentenced him to take her target shooting.
     

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