"Listen, we know how bad all this looks for our client, and by "all this," we mean the voluminous evidence pointing directly to our client's guilt. Things aren't always what they seem, though. So, we're asking you not to look at any of that damning evidence, and focus your collective attention instead on other things in that jury room. Like the clock on the wall, or Judge Sells' portrait. Whatever catches your eye. Basically, anything but the evidence is okay for you to look at during deliberations, is what I'm saying. Better yet, go ahead and close your eyes in that jury room. It's been a long, tough, exhausting trial. You guys all deserve a nice nap. We fully realize the overwhelming number of neon flashing bread crumbs our client left behind him like a homing beacon are hard, and by hard, I mean, completely impossible, to ignore. But just because something looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck and IS, in fact, a duck, doesn't mean you have to acknowledge that it's a duck. Use your imaginations, people! Transform that duck into a beautiful unicorn in your minds' eye. Pretend the unicorn is our client, and then set the unicorn free. Set It Free. Look. At the end of the day, the entire case all boils down to this: "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit." The fact that we didn't actually have our client try on any gloves, notwithstanding. Now, if you'll excuse us, the defense team members have some Walmart applications we need to submit as soon as court is adjourned. The good news is that they're doing a lot of seasonal hiring, so whichever way you guys decide to go here, we're good." ____________ Wow. Not bad at all, if I do say so. Looks like I missed my calling. I should have been a defense attorney.