Kyron's case on Dr. Phil 9/17 *includes tape of the show*

Discussion in 'Kyron Horman' started by eileenhawkeye, Sep 16, 2013.

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  1. sarah7855

    sarah7855 Where is Kyron?

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    Just have to say, I really enjoy your posts, they are very well stated! Thanks for all your contributions :) in regards to Kaine and TH's possible argument, I think your idea makes a lot of sense. Low level conflict that didn't even register to him while on her end, it was a possible way to draw attention away from herself.

    I've never read any of the "stepparent" forums, but I cannot imagine a person having such hatred for a child period. A person that would is a monster, IMO.
     


  2. x_files

    x_files Well-Known Member

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    Stubborn? Denial? Refusing to allow Desiree to have custody? Pride?
    It's a shame Desiree seems like a wonderful, loving parent.
     
  3. ScarlettScarpetta

    ScarlettScarpetta When the going gets tough, drink coffee

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    Sometimes one spouse is not aware of how toxic things are at home. They just aren't. Kaine also said that some times Kyron would cry that he did not want to go back to his moms. So he must have wanted to be with his dad...
     
  4. human

    human Well-Known Member

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    It is called denial. That is why people who are involved with alcoholics are advised to attend support groups.

    Alcoholism is a bizarre illness that affects everyone that comes in contact with the alcoholic.
     
  5. Kimberlyd125

    Kimberlyd125 Softball is for everyone. Fast pitch is for athlet

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    Couldn't agree more!

    Unless people have lived it, they just don't quite understand how it is.
     
  6. MyBelle

    MyBelle Well-Known Member

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    Doesn't matter what it is called it isn't an excuse.

    JMO
     
  7. MyBelle

    MyBelle Well-Known Member

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    BBM. The need for total control is the impression I got from DY's comments in the interview.

    JMO
     
  8. ami

    ami New Member

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    Kaine said he didn't know Terri hated Kyron - that came out in the emails after he disappeared. And if all parents who argued or struggled with a drinking problem gave their kids away, we'd be awash with homeless children. And who is to say that DY and TY didn't argue and/or drink? Clearly at some point DY thought Kaine's custody was the best place for Kyron.

    What Kaine should have done is tossed Terri out on her ear. It's clear that Kaine is not the type to abandon his child when problems arise. I find it super disturbing that Terri seems to shed her children during times of trouble.

    I also think it's normal for kids Kyron's age to "nest" in whichever home their used to at the moment, and be upset when uprooted from dad's to mom's, and mom's to dad's. It's not always a signal of a child in danger of kidnap or murder, but is often the sad confusion and mixed emotions of a child going between two homes and two sets of parents and two sets of expectations.
     
  9. MyBelle

    MyBelle Well-Known Member

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    I'm not about to speculate whether or not DY has a drinking problem. She truly is a victim and has my deepest sympathy and compassion.

    I also don't share your opinion that it is "normal" for young children to be content in homes where they know they are not wanted. I don't believe that Kaine was not aware of his wife's feelings about his son and more importantly, DY made it clear in the interview that she doesn't seem to believe it, either.

    JMO
     
  10. human

    human Well-Known Member

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    Let's say you are married.

    Let's say that your hubby has a child from a previous relationship.

    Let's say your hubby loves his child.

    Let's say your hubby has a good income and you have none.

    Let's say that it seems like the two of you are not getting along.

    Let's say you tell hubby that you hate his child?

    Let's place bets. Who stays? You or the child?

    I say hubby needs you for exactly nothing, especially if he has another babe in the wings. Kiss yourself goodbye and enjoy your new life living with your parents
     
  11. x_files

    x_files Well-Known Member

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    I could see how she must have felt used to babysit his child, but that's no excuse to "lose", kill, or make a child disappear. Great point!
    Looks like DY is right Kaine's infidelity caused serious resentments in both his marriages.
     
  12. onthecounter

    onthecounter Member

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    sorry O/T but I never knew these forums existed either until your post and I feel disgusted and shocked just like you did when you found out, after browsing some of them. I feel sickened.
     
  13. ami

    ami New Member

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    No one asked you to speculate about DY. And since I never said children are content in homes where they're not wanted (nor has anyone else), I'm not sure why you quoted my post in your reply. So let's move past the straw man.

    As far as Kaine not knowing that Terri hated Kyron enough to kill him? We're all entitled to our opinions. I personally don't think Kaine knew Kyron's life was in danger. And it's completely understandable to me that DY would feel Kaine should have done more. Any parent would feel that way after the fact. Just as DY said she should have fought harder for Kyron to come live with her. In retrospect, considering what happened, it's natural to look back on decisions with a more judgmental eye.
     
  14. ami

    ami New Member

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    Good summary! And let's say a wife was feeling all those things and knew it was essentially going to come down to the child or her. What would her choices be? Call the bio mom and ask her to take the child away, and when the child's father objects to having his son taken away, what choices are left?
     
  15. human

    human Well-Known Member

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    Interesting concept.

    He had the child when they were dating.

    If she did not want the whole package, mother and wife, she should have looked elsewhere.

    She was not babysitting. She was his other mother.

    I don't agree with the infidelity. I have never met a man who was leaving his wife who did not have another woman in the wings.

    It could be that TH's lying and drinking was not helpful for a good relationship,
     
  16. MyBelle

    MyBelle Well-Known Member

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    Excuse me but you are the one who speculated about DY and the reasons she consented for custody and I said I don't wish to engage in such speculation.

    Originally Posted by ami

    ~snipped~
    And who is to say that DY and TY didn't argue and/or drink? Clearly at some point DY thought Kaine's custody was the best place for Kyron.

     
  17. mmmagique

    mmmagique Deliver us from evil

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    Perhaps, but we all decide which things we will consider, and which we will not.
     
  18. scandi

    scandi New Member

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    My BOLD

    I think this is the best possibility about Kaine I have read. {Bolded}

    In answer to Kimberlyd, reading the posts here gave me cause to wonder if there had been a change in looking at Kaine for involvement. He was always respected as a victim IMO. I had wondered about him all along tho after reading posts about their relationship as a married couple. But I never thought he was involved only possibly knew more about TH than he let on, at least to the public.
     
  19. ami

    ami New Member

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    I didn't speculate about grounds for custody, and it's only if you pull those sentences out of context that it would appear that way. The person I was responding to implied that a caring parent would give up their child if their spouse drank, and because that's obviously illogical, I responded with the point that if that were the case, we have no idea which of that child's family members would meet that particular requirement.

    And in fact DY did at some point think that Kyron was better off with Kaine. Not my opinion - that's a fact. And we do know something about the "why" about that, and it's a reasonable "why". In my opinion, that fact is probably haunting DY. She had legitimate needs that took her from her son, and by the time she could properly care for him again he'd had a family including a baby sister built around him, and my guess is that as much as she wanted him, she didn't fight harder (as she herself put it) because he had this life built around him. Now she regrets that because in hindsight, she sees red flags in that life. To me, this is understandable from her side and from Kaine's side.

    In any case, as much as some posters here say that Kaine should have ditched his son when TMH started to exhibit signs of unraveling, I understand why he didn't. It's not as simple, IMO, as Terri laying drunk on the couch sexting men she met at his 20th reunion while watching Toddlers in Tiaras, and Kaine deciding to give up custody of his only son to DY. Both DY and KH are victims, but it's silly to not try to understand and empathize with their very human motivations.
     
  20. x_files

    x_files Well-Known Member

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    I agree. But, I was trying to see things from TH's perspective, she may have felt she wasn't the other mother or had any input as a step-mother but a babysitter for Kaine.
    I can only speculate what she might have been thinking.
     
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