MA MA - Caleigh Harrison, 2, Rockport, 19 April 2012

[necco]

As someone living on the coast with three young children, I'd much rather believe my boys were taken by someone who wanted a child. Intellectually, I know that's the statistically rarest outcome, but I'd never want to believe they were in the water. To not know, and to realize you might never know. The sea is so big and so vacuous. There are currents that can take a body miles. Animals that will scavenge and destroy the body. The realities of decomposition in water are awful. All that going through your mind versus having hope that they're with someone who wanted a child and might be vascilating about chickening out and leaving them at a fire station? What's the better train of thought?

Four football players went missing in the Gulf a couple years back, not all that far off shore. There was one survivor and the others basically died in front of him. Three big football players went into the Gulf and were never recovered. To this day, I wonder if I'll be walking along and stumble across a bone. It was right off our coast. Imagining what the families have to contemplate makes me sad. Jet stream? Sharks? One of them a skeleton after he was washed on an island and died there? Yuck. No closure and only dire 'what if's.

I respect your opinion. Yes, it would be better to think that, but I'm not sure *I* wouldn't be beating myself up assuming the worst.

On another note, I wonder if mom's been sedated and that may be affecting her. I know I'd be in a full scale permanent panic attack if I were her.

 

[steph_the_sleuth]

Well, if the ball indeed went over the wall, then perhaps she did go around the exterior of the home to get it. Depending on the size of the dog, the dog retrieving the ball may have been very difficult.

What boggles my mind, as a mom of a 4, 3, and a 2, is that she just wouldn't say "Oh well." about a ball. I've lost countless balls in our own yard, eveJn. They cost a couple bucks. Who on earth would leave small children feet from the roaring ocean to get it? I try to refrain from judgement, but it just doesn't make sense. I'd drag the kids with me to retrieve a $100 bill, much less a ball.

This exactly. I have a 2 and 4 year old and I can't imagine leaving them near a body of water unsupervised to chase a dog ball for several minutes. It does not compute. I've followed this case for a few days. The first story out was that mom looked away and within seconds her child was gone. We've all been there as parents. But to be gone several minutes in that environment? I just don't get it.

That said, if this was truly a lapse in judgment that resulted in a child drowning, mom has nothing but my sympathies regardless of how foolish her decision was to leave them unattended.

 

[Mendara]

The other day I was at the park with my 4 year old I lost sight of him suddenly I looked frantically around the park which was full and could not find him. Within a minute I began to scream his name frantically, I was screaming! Feeling faint! People came to me. After what seemed like an eternity was probably only another minute I saw him.

The fear was excruciating. It was painful. I wonder if there are witnesses to he freaking out and screaming??

 

[Shelby2]

From Sweetsavi's post, it doesn't sound like it's the Mother complaining about the Facebook page, rather people saying that the Mother is furious, and that the police have been called. Which to me is very different.

But why would they make this up? Someone said ppl react to grief in different ways- but is it time for grief yet? We do not know that this little girl is dead.

I think this is starting to sound a bit off.

 

[HaikuMommy]

I have noticed that people are attacking Chelsea Hoffman for asking questions on her blog. Not even making accusations, just asking questions! I think some of these people may be friends of the family, feeling defensive... but mostly, I believe some people take this personally because they know they have been lax and distracted with their own kids plenty of times. As have I. Yes, all parents have that moment where they go, "What was I thinking?! I wasn't paying attention and my child could have been hurt or killed!" Kids run into the street the second you turn your back, or reach something on the counter you thought they couldn't reach, or unlatch the gate you thought they were safe behind. So when anyone questions Allison's judgment, these people get all nasty and attack. But what they don't realize is that usually, everyone feels horribly bad for the parent -- even when saying someone made a stupid decision that caused their child to get hurt or killed (as long as they didn't have blatant disregard for their child). It is not an evil attack to say, "wow, since drowning is the number one cause of death under 5, mom should not have left them even for a minute"... just a fact. Nobody is trying to tear mom down, but trying to make sure this doesn't happen again, if in fact Caleigh drowned.

 

[Shelby2]

I have noticed that people are attacking Chelsea Hoffman for asking questions on her blog. Not even making accusations, just asking questions! I think some of these people may be friends of the family, feeling defensive... but mostly, I believe some people take this personally because they know they have been lax and distracted with their own kids plenty of times. As have I. Yes, all parents have that moment where they go, "What was I thinking?! I wasn't paying attention and my child could have been hurt or killed!" Kids run into the street the second you turn your back, or reach something on the counter you thought they couldn't reach, or unlatch the gate you thought they were safe behind. So when anyone questions Allison's judgment, these people get all nasty and attack. But what they don't realize is that usually, everyone feels horribly bad for the parent -- even when saying someone made a stupid decision that caused their child to get hurt or killed (as long as they didn't have blatant disregard for their child). It is not an evil attack to say, "wow, since drowning is the number one cause of death under 5, mom should not have left them even for a minute"... just a fact. Nobody is trying to tear mom down, but trying to make sure this doesn't happen again, if in fact Caleigh drowned.

I read it too, I agree with you.

 

[justanother]

IF this baby did get pulled into the ocean, i am sorry but i don't believe the ball story. Like most others here, i wouldn't leave my child alone near the ocean to get a ball. She has a VERY active looking facebook. Lots of Pages she Likes and Interests listed.

I am so cynical these days whenever i hear these stories. Was the beach deserted?! Are there witnesses that saw Cayleigh, the sister, the dog.....the ball?

With the amount of pages she personally has liked on FB i cannot understand why she is against pages about finding Cayleigh. Who cares what people might say about you?! Your baby is gone and you should be taking advantage of every avenue available to you to find her.

 

[TxLady2]

I was actually more thinking someone who wanted a child... saw this woman leave Caleigh there... and used it to justify taking her.

We see parents believe for YEARS that their child was abducted by someone who wanted a child. Older kids even.

If they truly believe she is in the water at this point... that strikes me as odd and I think there is a reason for it.

There is something that we don't know. Evidence, witness, knowledge... something that would convince them of that.

We don't know what they believe, that's the whole point. It doesn't really matter what they believe, as long as the mom didn't lead the child into the water herself, we should not judge them.

 

[HaikuMommy]

When people say "we shouldn't judge" I agree, to a point. We shouldn't call names, or say someone is going to hell, or believe the worst about people without proof. But to question, and wonder, and try to discover the truth, is not judging in my opinion. We want to find out why and how someone else's child was NOT safe, so we can take appropriate measures to keep our own children safe. Speculation is not just for gossip, but so we can feel assured that our loved ones will not end up like poor Caleigh.

 

[TxLady2]

But why would they make this up? Someone said ppl react to grief in different ways- but is it time for grief yet? We do not know that this little girl is dead.

I think this is starting to sound a bit off.

Her little girl is not with her and she doesn't know what happened to her, why would grieving be wrong? Grief is not reserved just for the dead, IMO. Maybe she knows that the chances of finding her child alive at this point are pretty slim, so the grieving is getting a head start. I don't think people can control that kind of thing, nor should we put a label on it. Whatever emotions she is going through are not our business to decide right or wrong.
JMO

 

[HaikuMommy]

Her little girl is not with her and she doesn't know what happened to her, why would grieving be wrong? Grief is not reserved just for the dead, IMO. Maybe she knows that the chances of finding her child alive at this point are pretty slim, so the grieving is getting a head start. I don't think people can control that kind of thing, nor should we put a label on it. Whatever emotions she is going through are not our business to decide right or wrong.
JMO

Her comments on FB worry me. "My heart hurts" sound sad, in fact almost remorseful,to me. I imagine I'd be saying I was in AGONY not knowing where my baby was, imagining someone took her for their own sick purposes, freaking out that I might NEVER know what happened to her and if she was dead or alive. I'd be pleading with God for her return. "Forever in my heart" sounds like someone who is in the acceptance phase (already?!) when she should be in either denial ("I know she's still alive!"), or sheer panic in my opinion. I think I would need to be sedated, myself. Unimaginable.

However, everyone is different. Her mother could just be sure she was swept out to sea and is already accepting it. I do believe Allison loves her children, and whatever happened to Caleigh, it was probably NOT due to any malicious action on her part. An accident or negligence, but not malice. I feel for her.

 

[Shelby2]

Her little girl is not with her and she doesn't know what happened to her, why would grieving be wrong? Grief is not reserved just for the dead, IMO. Maybe she knows that the chances of finding her child alive at this point are pretty slim, so the grieving is getting a head start. I don't think people can control that kind of thing, nor should we put a label on it. Whatever emotions she is going through are not our business to decide right or wrong.
JMO

I'm not judging. My response was in response to another poster regarding the FB page. The police say they are not ruling out an abduction, so I am curious why the family was upset by the FB page set up to help find this little girl.

 

[LadyNorCal]

When my daughter was 4, we went to the Sacramento River to fish and stood on an embankment. My husband was about 50 feet down from me, our daughter running between us. I looked to my left, and looked at some birds and as I did, I heard a light plop. It was so fast, we had no clue it was her. I turned and looked at him, looking for my child, between us, and she was gone. That fast. Fortunately, she drifted by her father, who was an EMT, swooped her out, resuscitated her and she is alive today thanks to a very fast acting pair of parents, but water can sweep a child out, fast, without notice and they can die in the blink of an eye. By the time my daughter had drifted approximately 25 feet, she was in a state of freeze from the water's cold, and had breathed in the water, was completely UNDER water and floating past. Had he not seen her pink clothing, she would not be with us today.

I truly believe a wave, perhaps one of the big incoming waves, took this child out in the blink of an eye and she didn't have to be in the wave's area. Just a little can have such force coming from the ocean. Having been fishing many times there, I can attest, that even in six inches of water, if the wave was strong enough, it could swing me off my feet.

In 2 feet of water, it dropped my horse one day.

I believe it will turn out that the toddler has been carried out and hopefully I am completely wrong. I'd hate for it to turn out negatively. Keeping her in my prayers.

 

[watcher9]

Caleigh could have easily been watching the water and followed it back out as it began receding, not knowing at her age that another wave would be coming in and take her away.

Does the waves of the tide actually come in as far as the bridge crossing or does the water just lap in and out there?

 

[Soulmagent]

My thoughts on the parents seeming to accept the toddler went into the water for reasons that dont include them being guilty of anything.

1. The thought of that is easier for them then the thought of a kidnapper harming their baby.

2. They want to public to believe they think the baby went into the water as not to scare a kidnapper into hiding or into harming the child while LE investigate the case.

 

[soyesterday]

If i can't ask this....please please just let me know....or remove it or whatever you have to do....
but i can't get this feeling out of my head.....it's a nagging feeling.....
i haven't caught up on all the posts so i'm sorry if anyone else has asked this, but i can't help but wondering....
i feel so bad for being so cynical and jaded...and even wondering this at all.....
but do we know for sure that the baby was ever at the beach w/ her mom and sister that day?
Now i want to take it back.....but has anyone even wondered that at all?

 

[shana]

If i can't ask this....please please just let me know....or remove it or whatever you have to do....
but i can't get this feeling out of my head.....it's a nagging feeling.....
i haven't caught up on all the posts so i'm sorry if anyone else has asked this, but i can't help but wondering....
i feel so bad for being so cynical and jaded...and even wondering this at all.....
but do we know for sure that the baby was ever at the beach w/ her mom and sister that day?
Now i want to take it back.....but has anyone even wondered that at all?

You are not alone. Based on what 'we' know, your feelings lead to valid questions. Thank you for stating them in such a gentle and careful manner.

~jmo~

 

[soyesterday]

Oh man...i was hoping it was just me feeling that way.
Again, i know i need to catch up on the thread, but.....
i just can't get rid of this feeling.

 

[UKgirl]

If i can't ask this....please please just let me know....or remove it or whatever you have to do....
but i can't get this feeling out of my head.....it's a nagging feeling.....
i haven't caught up on all the posts so i'm sorry if anyone else has asked this, but i can't help but wondering....
i feel so bad for being so cynical and jaded...and even wondering this at all.....
but do we know for sure that the baby was ever at the beach w/ her mom and sister that day?
Now i want to take it back.....but has anyone even wondered that at all?

I think you only said what we are all feeling. Dont blame yourself, after all thats happened to caylee and sky plus all the other little ones that have been missing, its only human. :grouphug:

 

[soyesterday]

ThANix guys.....it makes ms feel a little better to know I'm not thinking alone in this. I really hope I'm wrong though.
Does mom have a public fb page? I can't find it. And what about dad?
And why does she have a different last name than her parents?
Have they made a statement at all????