You hit the nail on the head. You described my ex to T. And i bet ZA as well.... my ex was diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder NPD while we were going to marriage counseling together. We had two therapists who counseled us separately and jointly. My individual therapist told me that in about 1-5% of cases of NPD, there are individuals who cant be helped or refuse to be helped. She thought my ex fell in that category and against her own normal practice, advised me of filing for divorce. She said her business is in healing marriages not breaking them up, but folks like that either continue using you to their advantage, which was the case for me, or they begin abusing you... to some measure my ex had already began emotionally abusing me.... but leaving was the best thing i could do for my sanity. I have a child with him which makes me terrified bc technically he has every legal right to see his son. But i am always scared of what he might do, sexually or violently. He just has this air about him. NPD people can fool people for years, making themselves appear one way and deep down being totally different. There are many good books, one titled wizard of Oz and other narcissists, about this if anyones ever interested. Anyway, ZA comes off much like that.... gregarious, mommys boy (like my ex), using people (a place to crash) etc, but deep down they are pathetic, hateful creatures.... Scary scary.