GUILTY MN - Christopher Bjerkness slashed exercise balls at fitness center, Duluth, 2009

Discussion in 'Recently Sentenced and Beyond' started by Steely Dan, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    I thought this was a joke but it appears to be real;

    [​IMG]

    WANTED FOR BUSTING BALLS!!

    LINKAGE

    You may have to join a free membership to the paper to view. Not a big deal.

    Duluth police search for rubber ball fetish burglar
    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    By: Mark Stodghill, Duluth News Tribune

    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    Christopher Neil Bjerkness, 31, is accused of breaking into the St. Mary’s/Duluth Clinic West building at 4212 Grand Ave., where he allegedly slashed exercise balls, apparently with a sharp knife.


    :eek: :crazy: :loser:

    You've got to have pretty big balls to do something like this over and over again! :bang:
     
  2. kittenish

    kittenish New Member

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    OT but you icon almost made me slap my screen. Our doors open at work and there are a bunch of flies in here. I thought it was one crawling on my screen!

    Maybe he should buy some balls that he can bust all he wants without going to jail. Heck, he could probably get a frequent buyer card and wholesale prices.

    I guess I don't see the sexiness in popping balls.
     
  3. STEADFAST

    STEADFAST New Member

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    Lying prone, yet again, on the unyielding gym floor, Chris looked into the leering, sweaty face of Brandon, the cruel jock who never tired of hurling the medicine ball hard -- so very hard -- at his puny chest . . .
     
  4. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    That's part of the fun!!!! :woohoo:

    The balls cost about $70 a piece so it's doubtful he'd buy his own. It might also be part of the sexual thrill to break in and do it. :eek:

    What the hades do you do with a guy like this? IMO, he's obviously dangerous to society because of his fetish and his fearless attempts to get them but putting him away for a long time will be difficult

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Kimster

    Kimster Former Member

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    [​IMG]

    I have one of those balls upstairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <gasp!>
     
  6. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    You need to move it into a triple locked closet and keep a loaded gun by your bed!! :balloons: :eek:

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzUNYtVy1HM"]YouTube - Jim Pops Dwight's Ball - The Office[/ame]
     
  7. montana_16

    montana_16 Active Member

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    He sounds like he's kind of, but not quite, up there with the patio table guy, vacuum guy and the pinecone lady. :eek:
     
  8. JustMe42

    JustMe42 New Member

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    I heard they is DNA on each and every one of them their balls too.......Wonder what kinds of DNA they done found? :Banane06:
     
  9. Gypsy Road

    Gypsy Road New Member

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    :eek:I had totally forgotten about Pinecone Lady!! YEOWCH!!
     
  10. Gypsy Road

    Gypsy Road New Member

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    :eek:I had totally forgotten about Pinecone Lady!! YEOWCH!!
     
  11. SeekingJana

    SeekingJana Find joy in this moment and hope in each day. :)

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    This is the sweetest, calmest, most gentlemanly little Maltese God ever put on the earth...
    UNTIL I got out my large Pilates balance ball a week or two ago. Out came the MONSTER dog. He's extremely afraid of them.

    I actually KILLED my balance ball when he kept on shaking and hiding. Took a kitchen knife and speared it and let him watch the air go out once and for all.

    I guess if a little sweet and smart dog can be afraid of the big balls, a man can too.
    I wouldn't give my well-balanced dog a psych. eval., but would offer the man one, LOL.

    Maria
     
  12. JustMe42

    JustMe42 New Member

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    In relation to this thread.....how did you "feel" when you sliced that ball? Maybe it will help us to better understand.
     
  13. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    Pinecone lady? What's that about?

    Please don't say that. Sliced balls make me sick to think about!! :puke:
     
  14. Theonly1

    Theonly1 New Member

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    I wonder if this little fetish began with popping packing peanuts.
     
  15. Theonly1

    Theonly1 New Member

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    Bjerkness...that surname seems like one who would enjoy ball slashing. :)

    Is this a post from the Onion?
     
  16. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    When I first read it I was sure it was hoax but it's really real!! :eek:
     
  17. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    UPDATE

    Man With Exercise Ball Fetish Pleads Guilty

    It may have been a self-professed fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls that led a Duluth man to break into medical building Duluth in May.

    Thirty-one-year-old Christopher Neil Bjerkness pleaded guilty on Wednesday in St. Louis County District Court to third-degree burglary.

    He was charged after someone broke into the SMDC-Duluth Clinic West building on May 30 and slashing the exercise balls there.

    The plea agreement calls for Bjerkness to spend a year at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center and participate in a sex offender treatment program.

    Bjerkness told Duluth police he slashed the rubber balls to satisfy a sexual urge. He tells the Duluth News Tribune that he can't explain his fetish but says he suffers from other mental disorders
    .

    How can the leader of the sex offender treatment program keep a straight face while dealing with this guy? :eek:
     
  18. montana_16

    montana_16 Active Member

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    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJp_EO2C220[/ame]
     
  19. mikeysmommom

    mikeysmommom "A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you

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    LMAOROTF Thank you so much for Laughs I needed it after reading the other stories here.

    I vote that we should have a thread for weirdo funny crimes like this here.Helps to even out the sadness after reading the other threads.
     
  20. mikeysmommom

    mikeysmommom "A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you

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    They should play that for Christopher Neil Bjerkness before they release him.Seriously how do you know you cured him?:crazy:I would get a set of big balls:angel: and put them in the same area as him. Then I would play this clip for a week , if he can keep his hand's from busting his set of big balls:angel: he can go home:dance:.LMAOROTF
     

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