Mom Forces Unusual Punishment On Criminal Teen Son

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by Reader, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. Reader

    Reader New Member

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    http://www.local12.com/mostpopular/...Criminal-Teen-Son/EfeVx8cEL0iC_dbIxu5wFQ.cspx

    With video...

    A mom in Indiana says she's at her wit's end with her son's behavior. After he had several run-ins with police, she took matters into her own hands... and came up with a pretty unusual punishment.

    "Actually the sign is hanging around my son's neck is because my son constantly chooses to keep breaking the law.
    ------

    The teen's sign clearly states he doesn't follow the law, but apparently some drivers passing by didn't think his mom was either...and called police. Officers say Lax is completely within her rights to make her son stand on the side of the street. It's unconventional, but not illegal.
     


  2. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    Maybe getting him psychogical help would be a better option than having him stand by the road with a sign around his neck? After school activities? Sports? Volunteer work? Part time job?

    I wish her luck. He's only 14 and already has issues with the law.
     
  3. mysteriew

    mysteriew A diamond in process

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    An old saying is to not do the crime if you can't do the time. Well a kid has to be responsible for crime twice, if his/her parents care about him. They have to be responsible to the court and they have to be responsible to the parent. She is making him responsible for his actions. He wants attention, he wants to be seen as 'bad' she is giving him a venue to do that. Maybe it is unusual. But at least she is trying to do something! I do feel for her when she says the state is quick to assess a fine, but won't help her to fix her son. She sounds like she is at the end of her rope.
     
  4. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    Isn't this just feeding his problem? It's like putting a bandaid on a open wound. It'll feel better but it won't heal it.

    I feel for her also. Very much so. Not sure wearing a sign is the answer though.

    Maybe someone who sees her desperation will offer to help her son.
     
  5. Reader

    Reader New Member

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    The article did say the boy has been in community service and on probation, so some services have been offered....but apparently were not enough to keep him from committing crimes....

    I think the mother is wanting to get through to him before he does something to end up in adult court or gets hurt himself.

    Mental health services are very limited today in most places unless his counselors or the court referred him..

    We don't know what else she has tried before getting to this point...she may have tried to get him interested in sports or other activities and he rejected them.
     
  6. LadyL

    LadyL Well-Known Member

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    it might just embarrass him enough to work

    didn't a mother try this just awhile back? I could swear I've read this exact same story before
     
  7. wfgodot

    wfgodot Former Member

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    I empathize with the mother, but this is just not the thing to do. It's one of those almost-certain-to-backfire techniques one might see someday in a Power Point presentation called "How to Turn Your Child's Difficulties with the Law into Something More Horrible Still."
     
  8. buffetoflies

    buffetoflies Well-Known Member

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    This isn't unusual.

    Some drunk drivers have to wear signs while they are cleaning the highways for their community service. It's the same thing.
     
  9. Kimberlyd125

    Kimberlyd125 Softball is for everyone. Fast pitch is for athlet

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    I say it's her child. She knows him better than anybody else.
    She has the right.
    I see nothing wrong with it.

    JMO
     
  10. Donjeta

    Donjeta Adji Desir, missing from Florida

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    I hope it works, he's awfully young to be in trouble. Hopefully it's a wake up call and he realizes that his mother means business and is very worried about him. that he truly can't go on this way.

    But I could see it having a negative effect too if he thinks his family has written him off as a good-for-nothing. An angry, humiliated rebellious teen could run away or do something stupid just to spite mom.
     
  11. ChasingMoxie

    ChasingMoxie Member

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    I have no idea what I would do in her situation, but I commend her for trying to do something. In my neighborhood most of the hood rats have parents that don't seem to care at all, and have even at times claimed that a child wasn't theirs or they didn't know the child to avoid the responsibility of answering for something he just perpetrated (I chased him home after catching him vandalizing). I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of the adults that are the product of this type of negligence. Hmm, I don't usually sound so callous, I must really be in a mood today.

    ETA: I also remember reading this exact same story not too long ago. I wonder if there were ever any updates to the prior case, it would be interesting to know whether that original child continued to disobey the law.
     
  12. Quiche

    Quiche Well-Known Member

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    Not the best use of his time, imo. She could have him volunteering alongside her at substance abuse clinics, or addicted baby cuddling, or outreach programs to victims of theft who are left in need. If the focus is on him, he should be learning something. moo
     
  13. Reader

    Reader New Member

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    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/indiana-mom-forces-son-to-wear-i-lie-i-steal-sign/


    An Indiana mom has been criticized nationally for making her 14-year-old son wear a sign proclaiming, “I lie, I steal, I sell drug, I don’t follow the law.” But the woman, Dynesha Lax, said she resents the accusations that she is a bad mother.

    “I’ve done therapy with my son. I’ve done positive reinforcement. I’ve done negative reinforcement. I’ve done mommy-and-me days. I’ve even called the police on him,” Lax said. “But everything seems to be taken lightly. Nobody is taking seriously that these are serious offenses.”

    She said he has been acting up since a young age and that while none of her responses have worked, she refused to give up. “He’s already lying, stealing, trying to sell drugs. We’ve got three-and-a-half years until I don’t have control anymore,” Lax said. “I’m not going to let the streets have my son.”

    More at link with video...
     
  14. my_tee_mouse

    my_tee_mouse Done. Put a Fork in Me.

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    I say good on her! The legal system means have done nothing so far. Maybe some good old-fashioned embarrassment will make him think twice before he commits another crime. Today's embarrassment at wearing that sign is far less than future embarrassment at trudging along in orange prison garb and shackles for all the world to see.
     
  15. mysteriew

    mysteriew A diamond in process

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    I do wonder if she has tried (when he was younger at least) to get him enrolled in a big brother program. Maybe some type of male mentoring would be something that could make a difference.
     
  16. my_tee_mouse

    my_tee_mouse Done. Put a Fork in Me.

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    I'm a big proponent of mentoring. Unfortunately, the Big Brother/Big Sister programs are sorely in need of volunteers.

    Any WSers care to volunteer? If you're too "old" to be a big sister/big brother, how about being a stand-in grandma/grandpa to a kid?
     
  17. butwhatif?

    butwhatif? Well-Known Member

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    Exactly...and she clearly has some control over her son if he stood there and did as she said.
    I was off the rails at the same age, and I would have done a runner. No way would I just stand there with that sign around my neck!
    So I don't think he's too far gone to lead him back on the right path, with volunteering to do the things you suggested...or anything else that is out there.
    There always needs to be consequences for doing the wrong thing, but punishment without rehabilitation is just not the way to go, imo.
     
  18. ~n/t~

    ~n/t~ New Member

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    He sells drugs. Where does he get the drugs? Does he take drugs himself? Maybe he needs rehab? She said she's done therapy with him. What kind of therapy?

    What a nightmare for this poor mom! Why aren't authorities doing something?
     
  19. Trvl4Lyfe

    Trvl4Lyfe Well-Known Member

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    The fact that in the title of this thread, it had to note him as a criminal son, seems calling the punishment unusual, doesn't make much sense.
     
  20. Gozgals

    Gozgals New Member

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    I like that she is doing something pro-active, and cares about her child but this appears to be a solution that will backfire. I think to embarrass someone into stopping a behavior may in turn make that behavior worse, esp. in a child that young.

    He needs professional counseling and the law needs to help this mom with the answers so he does not turn out to be a criminal when he is an adult. I do once again salute her for caring but this way does not solve the problem or teach him anything. I for one would want to know how serious the drug problem may be at this stage of his life and if he needs intervention for this problem. (treatment, meetings, rehab, etc)

    BigBrothers is an idea that would be profitable to this young man. A male figure that he can look up to would be an advantage I believe more than making him stand out in the streets not really to gain anything.

    Goz

    PS I signed up to be a bigbrother/sister last week. woohoo.
     

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