mom loses kids cause she has stage 4 breast cancer*RIP*

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by sadnews, May 15, 2011.

  1. sadnews

    sadnews New Member

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    North Carolina mom Alaina Giordano the battle with terminal breast cancer has turned into more than a battle against the disease.

    It has affected her custody battle for her children.

    North Carolina judge Nancy Gordon ruled that Kane Snyder, the father of Giordano's children, would get custody of kids - despite accusations he abused her during their marriage.

    For Giordano, 37, that means her children will be sent from Durham, N.C,. to Chicago next month as she's left battling the deadly disease.

    "It makes no sense to take them away from me because you don't how long I'm going to live," Giordano told ABCNews.com. "Everybody dies and none of us knows when."

    Giordano has been fighting fighting stage 4 breast cancer since 2007. She claims the daily lives of her children, who are 5 and 11, aren't deeply affected.
    :banghead:


    Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat..._children_because_of_illne.html#ixzz1MSmUE53t
     
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  3. TRL

    TRL New Member

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    This infuriates me! Is there anyone the public can contact to protest such a ruling?
     
  4. Linda7NJ

    Linda7NJ Active Member

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    IMO There is a lot more to the judges decison than the cancer issue.
     
  5. Noddy

    Noddy New Member

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    She was on JVM the other night and it was heartbreaking. She has tried to contact Gloria Alred without success. There was a lawyer on JVM's panel who said he would help but he isn't licensed in NC. Hopefully he'll find someone to do pro bono work for her as she says she has no means to pay.
     
  6. Kat

    Kat Kind words do not cost much

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    snipped from OP link.

    I agree Linda. I'm not sure that her cancer played into the choice the Judge had to make as much as the reporter insinuates in the choice of headline.

    ETA: I do feel deeply sorry that she is in the position with this illness and can't move though. Prayers for her miracle for recovery.
     
  7. Linda7NJ

    Linda7NJ Active Member

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    I agree with the judges decision. I feel the decision was made for the children's benefit not the mothers or the fathers. It's obvious to me the best interest of the children would be best served with mom moving to dad's area to make it easier for the children.
     
  8. tlcya

    tlcya Well-Known Member

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    So the children's lives should be disrupted with a move from their family home with mom, in Durham, and the mom's life and team of doctors, treatment should be disrupted by a move to Chicago because mom has no job and can't support the kids but dad can?

    Child support is helpful for that.

    I don't know how to feel about this one. I would feel maybe better about it if dad had had the kids and mom was trying to get custody.

    But we are disrupting the status quo of these children's lives because of

    a) mom having cancer (if you believe the spin being put on it)
    b) dad having more money (if you believe the financial spin being applied)

    either way it seems to sort of suck to me.

    IDK I will really have to give this one some thought.
     
  9. Trident

    Trident Well-Known Member

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    It sucks to me, big time. It's not enough the women has cancer, NO, we have to pile on more stress and hurt. Is mom on disability? She should be and she should be eligible.

    Here we have a throw-away mom because hubby has a job. A big time upset like this can adversely affect Mom's health and treatments - I know because I have cancer in my family. Stress like this can kill the poor woman.

    Karma's a B..., and if this mom is adversely affected, rest assured those responsible will be repaid in kind, according to the basis of their actions.

    My opinion only
     
  10. pghbrandi

    pghbrandi Member

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    I think this is so sad. They took the kids away from their dying mother. I would want to spend every moment with a loved one if they were dying. They may grow up to resent their father for taking them away and not giving them more memories with Mom.
     
  11. CuriousHousewife

    CuriousHousewife New Member

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    Why wouldn't a judge order some arrangment where the kids are supported by dad and still have both parents active?
     
  12. not_my_kids

    not_my_kids New Member

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    Not my normal standing on issues like this, but to me, it sounds as if the courts really were considering what was best for the kids. Cancer is not an easy death, nor is it an easy recovery. The kids are 5 and 11, and I think the judge sees a lot of what I do, that on her own, without in-home support, the kids would be left to the their own devices, more likely than not, as their mother either wastes away in front of them, or struggles with her illness.

    With the kids in home with her, she cannot control what they see, and she may never know, as none of us might never know, how deeply this really has affected her kids. I am curious as to whether the children were asked, since that is one issue that was not addressed in the article. The 11 year old definitely is old enough to tell the courts who they want to live with.

    Not to mention, there is the fact that she doesn't have a job, and that leaves the question of how she can support them, how she can pay for child care while she is in treatment, and how she is going to support them if she can't go back to work right away. The judge didn't decide that his job was more important than her health, he decided that her children's stability was more important than their custody battle or her health or his job. The judge left her the choice of whether or not to continue her treatment where she is, or follow her children to Chicago. If she takes the choice not to follow her children, then she is putting her health above her children's needs, and that is what I believe the judge was considering when he made his ruling.
     
  13. alsmom

    alsmom mostly lurking

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    This is so sad. I understand both sides and it's painful to even hear that this is happening. Some jobs cannot be replaced especially in this economy and a great medical team is priceless...so :(
     
  14. rpipergirl

    rpipergirl proud owner Kidmissing

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    NOTMYKIDS, what makes this more shameful is the judge in this case is NOT male she's female. shame on her. Duke is a great cancer hospital,why should she have to move. BTW she can't get a job, folks, she's dying. I am sure she has family to help with the kids. It would be a LOT easier IMO for dad to get a job in NC than change a treatment team it took years to get. He chose to leave NC and his kids behind.
    I am a 2 time cancer patient and do you think there is any chance I'd leave Dana Faber? Nor should anyone have the right to make me or her. end of rant.
     
  15. sleuthin4fun

    sleuthin4fun Member

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    I guess part of what I don't understand is that the mother states that her cancer "doesn't effect the children's daily lives." If that is the case then why is she not able to work? I do not ask that to be cold, I am just curious about that. I have an Aunt who was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer years ago. Now I realize that she (my aunt) was not the norm, but she received chemo twice a month only taking a day off from teaching two days after the treatment was given. That was the day that the effects from the chemo were at their worst. She continued to teach for 9 years up until 2 weeks prior to her death. I am not saying I agree with the judges decision, but I understand it to an extent. It is very emotional for a child to have a "sick mommy." Very sad!
     
  16. CarmelEyesD

    CarmelEyesD Well-Known Member

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    A terminally ill mother who lost custody of her children after she was diagnosed with breast cancer has died.

    Alaina Giordano, 38, passed away at her parentsÂ’ home with her son and daughter by her side after a judge agreed to let her spend her final weeks with them.

    Miss Giordano fought a high-profile legal battle with her estranged husband after a judge ruled that he should have custody of their children following her diagnosis with terminal breast cancer.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-dies-eleventh-hour-ruling.html#ixzz1zLgdeoAo
     
  17. jjenny

    jjenny Well-Known Member

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    Life is very unfair, but I understand what the judge wanted-they want someone to have custody who will be able to actually raise the children, even though its not the mother's fault she got a terminal illness. At least she got to spend time with the children right before she died.
     
  18. panthera

    panthera Retired WS Staff

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    At least she was able to spend her last days with her children.

    Rest in Peace, Alaina
    :rose:
     
  19. LinasK

    LinasK Verified insider- Mark Dribin case

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    Your aunt was not the norm. My SIL died of esophageal cancer that spread to her liver. She was a teacher who, after diagnosis was never able to return to her job, she died within 9 mo. of diagnosis and one round of chemo, which only extended her life one month, and made her sick as a dog. I think the judge was right to grant the father inevitable custody, but let the children be with their mother until she died...
     

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