Discussion in 'Recently Sentenced and Beyond' started by bessie, Jul 29, 2014.
awesome post upthread, poirotry. echoing jblock's thanks.
I really need a new computer.
The thing about Kibby and Maura Murray is his age. Wouldn't he have been 17 or 18 when she went missing? I know it is possible but not sure if I am convinced.
ETA: NOPE, he'd have been 24. So very doable. I wonder what he was up to in 2004?
On ancestry.com, it is easy to find his UNH yearbook picture. He looks like Nate, the <modsnip>
oh ok, I need to become a member there too! Interesting!
That's the question. According to one of his letters to the editor of the Daily Sun, he was living in Conway in October, 2004. Eight months earlier, and fifty miles away, Maura went missing.
In that photo he doesn't look like the drawing, though.
Yes, I can't speak on a photo match because I am not positive. But someone who knows him would certainly recognize it!
I'll take a closer look.
I still haven't been able to see his pic. I can't join ancestry just yet.
Posts have been removed.
I haven't read anything that suggests Abigail should be ashamed. Perhaps you confused “be ashamed” with posts suggesting that Abigail's behavior is inconsistent for an alleged (recent) victim of severe trauma. (I AM NOT STATING MY OPINION.)
There are very consistent, predictable patterns of behavior that occur in recent trauma victims.
1. A recent trauma victim relives his/her helplessness as if it were occuring in the present. These traumatic memories are replayed as vivid visual images and vivid sensations. This is not something that a recent trauma victim can immediately control. Because of these continuously replayed memories, severely traumatized people have great difficulty resuming normal activities within a short time frame.
2. Recently traumatized people have repetitive uncontrollable compulsions where they reenact scenes from their trauma in numerous ways. To stop these compulsions, they withdraw physically and/or mentally.
3. A recently traumatized person desperately tries to avoid triggers of his horrific experience.
verified psychiatric mental health nurse
First let me say that I am very glad that Abby is alive and home with her family.
Now, let me say that we have learned a lot about pediatric and adolescent trauma in the past decade. Diplomatically, the following post is not fully in line with some of those recent advances and understandings.
The trauma impacts and presentations PensFan is describing certainly can be seen but they certainly are not always seen. When they are seen then they start to suggest a PTSD diagnosis (which also requires some other criteria and an overall impairment of functioning). Statistically, PTSD occurs in approximately 15% of adolescents exposed to trauma, so far fewer do not develop PTSD than do. To be fair we now understand that children/adolescents who present with some PTSD diagnostic criteria but not enough to qualify with the diagnosis and/or those who are disqualified from the diagnosis because their global function scores do not indicate overall impairment of function can still benefit from therapeutic interventions (i.e. TF-CBT).
I would certainly not say that a child who was not outwardly displaying any of the above was presenting atypically after trauma [I would definitely not take a leap further and suggest that because of their presentation we should question whether they had truly been through a traumatic event]. I think we also need to consider that we are seeing a few snapshots in time (when Abby is in public) and these may or may not accurately reflect where she is overall. We don't know if she has nightmares every night, if she is overcome by intrusive memories throughout the day, or if she is now wary to do presumably safe things which she wouldn't have thought twice about in the past. Honestly, it is none of our business. During the period that Abby was missing it was very clear that she had two parents, a sister, and many other friends and family who loved her and would do anything necessary for her. Those people are now happily back in her life and I think that they are in the best position to support her through this and ensure that she receive outside help as appropriate and necessary. The rest of us really need to take a step back, offer a few prayers of thanksgiving that this child is alive, and perhaps few more for guidance and good judgment for those in our judicial system, and allow the Hernandez family to heal.
For any who are interested in learning more regarding pediatric/adolescent trauma, I generally think this can be a good place to start:
I'm no expert but I do agree with pensfan...
of-this-topic question: did ZH's published letter to abby come before or after she received hers? I don't remember discussion on this but I missed a few threads in the last 9 months...
EXCLUSIVE: 'I'm her father, I want to know what happened more than anyone, I'm desperate for answers': Abby Hernandez's dad speaks out for the first time over her mysterious disappearance and return
Not as gross as the sponsored content below the article. I'm going to go wash my eyeballs now.
ETA: I didn't find anything he said offensive. Actually feel sorry for him, as I know I'd be REALLY frustrated being left out of the loop. It does no good going to media with this...but if we heard nothing, people would be quick to question 'why haven't we heard from dad?' (Like when he wasn't at the hearing.) JMO
It's a no-win situation.
Is anyone else skeptical that Ruben Hernandez spoke with the UK Daily News? He's been so quiet during this whole thing and not in the public eye-- I would think that if this particular man broke his silence it wouldn't be with this publication. MOO
IIRC, Z's letter to Abby was at Christmastime; Abby's letter to them arrived early November.
JMO, but I don't read anything into it except that he's a successful businessman, thinks practically. If he breaks his silence, it doesn't surprise me if it's to the highest bidder. (It also is a publication that would publish several of his favored photos of Abby.) I missed threads 1-10 so maybe that's why I'm not understanding skepticism towards the dad, here. From what little I've read, he seems like a loving and concerned dad.
Oh I'm not skeptical about that Dad, I am skeptical about the newpaper!
Thumbs up, there. (Though they do have good photos at times.)