Found Safe NJ - Thomas Kolding, 15, Mountain Lakes, 30 Oct 2018

Discussion in 'Located Persons Discussion' started by JrzyGirl70, Nov 3, 2018.

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  1. charminglane

    charminglane Helcat!

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    So many are homeschool kids, so many different schools have different hours and schedules.
    It's not like the old days. A 15 year old on his own would not have most librarians bat an eyelash.
    I'm in a SoCal library.
    Every child that is missing deserves to be made aware of to the public. There is nothing to make this child more deserving than any other.
     


  2. charminglane

    charminglane Helcat!

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    To add to my post above ^,
    If the parents can afford a PR person, they could have hired a PI first, imo, mooooooooo.
     
  3. Really?

    Really? South Jersey USA

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    I remember when we used maps to get around.
     
  4. Really?

    Really? South Jersey USA

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    I believe the dad took away his phone as punishment. I’m sure I heard that mentioned.
     
  5. zecats

    zecats Well-Known Member

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    Ah yes. Me too. I actually enjoy reading maps. But I’m way more grateful to be able to pull up navigation on my phone and see exactly where I am and to search any kind of need I have: place to stay, transportation centers, libraries. Even a voice to lead me there step by step. I even now buy my train and plane tickets on my phone. Saves time and paper. Plus don’t have to carry around a map for every location I’m going. Who knows what Thomas would be more comfortable with? I’m betting technology.
     
  6. JerseyGirl

    JerseyGirl Forum Coordinator Staff Member Forum Coordinators

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    Article from this morning:

    Runaway teen's dad searches for son

    "We have new insights but no hard clues," Nicolai Kolding wrote. He is also not hopeful that a reported sighting in Miami Township, Ohio (Montgomery County) will pan out.

    Nicolai Kolding said he is taking his personal search "south" along "travel routes."

    He also wrote:

    "While we as parents keep trying all ways to communicate with him, I'd like to ask that anyone reading this ask Thomas's peers (whether here in Mtn. Lakes or anywhere) to write and share in a way and on a platform that makes them comfortable (several have suggested we tag everything with #thomaskolding)," the father wrote. "It could be about this 'case' specifically or the broader issue of teenage struggles and the pressures felt. What do we as parents need to hear from them (I've asked myself this question a lot lately — what was he trying to say that I didn't hear)?"

    He hopes that other teens who hear of his son's disappearance might be able to offer some advice about why Thomas left.
     
  7. boater55

    boater55 Member

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    For everyone questioning how he could travel etc. without internet, it is almost certain he had acceess, imo. It is so easy these days whether it is a burner phone. public library, internet Cafe with computers, briefly borrowing a phone....
    And I could ask 10 close friends, family members and I bet 9 of them haven't heard about him.
     
  8. zecats

    zecats Well-Known Member

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    And what would encourage Thomas to come back home? If he's angry at Dad, how long can he keep up that pretense. If there's more to the disagreement between them, then maybe Dad knows the answer to what Thomas needs to hear. jmo

    I hope for his father's sake and for Thomas as well that things turn out all right. Dad is obviously in pain and it's sad to see. I do feel for him. And I hope Thomas is safe and is able to go home and work things out.
     
  9. Alleykins

    Alleykins Well-Known Member

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    From the article

    My son is 15 and I ask myself something similar all the time: what is he trying to tell me?

    For my family, it's more of a challenge because my son is high functioning autistic, where communication is already strained because of his diagnosis. Couple this with being a teen, and I struggle with this. Since he's our one and only, we don't have any experience with raising teens, we have a difficult time figuring out if it is his age or diagnosis talking/not talking. I can usually tell when he's struggling to communicate, he either gets frustrated and won't talk, and lately, he quacks. That doesn't help me understand what he is trying to say, only clues me in that he's having difficulty saying it.

    I know where the break down is between him and his father when I'm a fly on the wall, listening. My husband talks over him so he drowns out my son's response and at time it appears he's talking to hear himself talk. So, when my son answers, my husband just keeps flapping his gums as if he didn't. I've pointed it out to him several times - Dude, you can't hear with your mouth open. Shut up once in a while. This isn't solely with arguments, either. It's any discussion they have, even about girls and joking around. My husband doesn't listen, even though he thinks he is.

    When my son and I talk, I listen but don't understand. I think I'm just plain old dense. I don't get what he's trying to tell me, like the time he was 4 and said he liked a girl with antennas. I thought he was referring to a cartoon character in a show he liked, but no, my friend told me the girl had pigtails. She was right. I was like, how come that didn't click in my head?
    So, I want to assure TK's father they are not alone when it comes to communicating with a teen. Though not the same, I imagine having a precocious, clever teen has it's own challenges, too.
     
  10. JerseyGirl

    JerseyGirl Forum Coordinator Staff Member Forum Coordinators

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    I'm surprised talk of grades escalated so quickly. He's a freshman, so he just started high school in September. Was the first marking period over prior to last week's short week of school due to the teacher's convention?
     
  11. Vedder

    Vedder John 3:16

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    Burner phone + WiFi
     
  12. TTF14

    TTF14 Spaceship Headlight Pattern Expert

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    It would have definitely been nearing the end of the first marking period. My kids' just ended last week.
     
  13. human

    human Well-Known Member

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    If he has that kind of phone, doesn’t he have to register it to get service? How does he pay for the service?
     
  14. ChiCubs2016

    ChiCubs2016 Well-Known Member

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    If a child was close to failing a subject would the teacher let a parent know so there would be time to study/work to do better on test/homework before the final grade? I know most schools also have online portals where parents can check grades.
     
    cass523, inmyhumbleopinion and human like this.
  15. MissMYB

    MissMYB Well-Known Member

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    There are free apps you can download via wifi where you can make and receive calls without service using the exact same wifi that you downloaded the app. Several of my younger friends who travel/hike/camp etc across the country use wifi calling exclusively, especially seeing as they spend a majority of their time out of traditional cell service range. Why pay for a service you can't use most of the time.
     
  16. DizzyB

    DizzyB Well-Known Member

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    We had "progress reports" that were sent out in October if your kid had a C or below. This way kid had enough time to bring up their grade before the end of the marking period. Freshman year is when it all starts to count if you've got a high achiever kid. If they don't develop the habits, they may not get into the high honors and AP courses that colleges look for. It's the way we do it now. Plenty of parents start with college counselors this early in the game.
     
  17. JerseyGirl

    JerseyGirl Forum Coordinator Staff Member Forum Coordinators

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  18. zecats

    zecats Well-Known Member

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    Most marking periods in New Jersey end around November 14-15. Progress reports are probably sent about 3-4 weeks prior (in my school district it's a bit past the halfway mark). Teachers are usually required to inform parents if student is failing or in danger of failing well before the grades are issued, so as not to surprise anyone.

    The high school where I taught (and now sub as I am retired) is on block schedule, so the end of the marking period is actually mid-term. Grades can be a big deal in this case if the class is not full year in length. . Did Thomas attend public school, as in Mountain Lakes High School? I looked up their school district and the calendar does not list term end dates. Only holidays and closures.

    Another thing to consider, once a student reaches 9th grade, courses begin to be weighted: AP classes, Honors classes, CP classes, etc. Scoring better grades in higher weighted classes promotes the student to a better ranking in the class. It can be extremely competitive.
     
  19. bears10

    bears10 Well-Known Member

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    Mountain Lakes has an online portal, so his parents would have access to his grades and attendance in real time for tests, assignments, quizzes, etc. (well, as soon as the teacher posts each grade). Progress reports should be available on the portal as well. Some schools don't even mail out hard copies of progress reports/report cards anymore.
     
  20. SD123Me

    SD123Me Active Member

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    The odds that this SINGLE conversation escalated and had this dramatic of an outcome for this child are baffling to me. Even if he stormed out and was organized enough to get the cash together and pack his backpack, this doesn’t sound like a spur of the moment act.
     
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